Konnichiwa, Philadelphia. We’d like to take the time to guide you belatedly away from the confusion you might encounter if you happen to experience a Japanese-style Valentine’s Day without knowing the differences in custom from its western equivalent. To those irritated women who misinterpreted the chocolates their husbands brought home from their female colleagues, and to the men who elatedly mistook “obligation” chocolates for a message of affection, we'd like to provide some context and straighten out any embarrassing misunderstandings.

Sometime in the 1950s, a Japanese chocolate manufacturer took inspiration from the western tradition of Valentine’s Day and began producing heart-shaped chocolates, declaring February 14th as a day women confess their love with a gift of chocolate. The incentive was seen as an opportunity to boost the post-war economy and was a great success during a time in which Japan was eager to adopt western customs and ideas. The main difference – that only women are to bear the burden of gift-giving – is supposedly the result of a translation error made by a chocolate company executive. About a decade or so later, candy companies capitalized on the chance to balance things out urged men to give back a month later with gifts of marshmallows. This practice developed into what is now known as the March 14th holiday “White Day,” on which men reciprocate with white chocolates or other small gifts to women.

Valentine’s Day took off in Japan and continued to develop – now, chocolate companies line the streets in the days approaching the holiday and generally conduct more than half their annual sales during this time. In terms of custom, the occasion is perhaps even more unlike its western counterpart now than it was in the 1950s, having soaked up some Japanese ideas concerning obligation and gift-giving. Cards and verbal wishes such as “Happy Valentine’s Day” are not a common practice – rather, all facets of the custom are centered on women giving the right chocolates to the right people. Giri-choko, or “obligation chocolates,” are given to many or all men in one's social circles, while, in contrast, honmei-choko are given to those objects of a more personal and serious affection.

The potential for embarrassing misunderstandings is disconcerting – one survey reveals that mistaking giri-choko for honmei-choko (or vice versa) is a common cause of sad Valentine’s Day experiences in Japan. If this has ever happened to you, take comfort because you are not alone!…