TUESDAY 20 DECEMBER
CRITIC’S CHOICE: Rev
BBC Two, 9.30pm
Spare a thought for men of the cloth this Christmas. Judging by this superb series finale, it’s the most stressful time of year for a vicar. As Reverend Adam Smallbone (Tom Hollander) enters his first Advent in the London parish of St Saviour’s, festive nerves are fraying. Camels keep being stolen from the church Nativity, he’s up at the crack of dawn every day to cook breakfast for the homeless, and resident wino Colin (the show’s cult figure, played with pitch-perfect pathos by Steve Evets) plans on being drunk until Twelfth Night. Adam is out of pocket, permanently hungover and under pressure for the seasonal collection plate to hit its financial targets.
The last thing he needs is a surprise house guest in the form of his grumpy “social hand grenade” father-in-law (the hilariously hangdog Geoffrey Palmer). Midnight Mass is a shambles thanks to a congregation fresh from the pub. As lay reader Nigel (Miles Jupp) notes: “We’re the religious equivalent of a kebab.” There’s still time for subtle pastiches of Groundhog Day and Da Vinci’s Last Supper. A gently witty, fittingly heart-warming conclusion to this second excellent run of the Bafta-winning sitcom. MH
The Truman Show (1998)
More4, 10.35am
This satirical comedy-drama tells the tale of Truman Burbank (Jim Carrey), a man who, unbeknown to him, has lived his entire life in a giant studio where his every move is watched by millions as part of a TV series. When Truman starts to suspect the truth, the show’s director (Ed Harris) struggles to retain control. CG
Pom Poko (1994)
Film4, 4.15pm
This lovely animated fantasy from Studio Ghibli (a season of 16 films by them is showing on Film4 in the run-up to Christmas) is slow to get going, but soon you’ll be hooked. It’s about the tanuki, mischievous raccoon-like creatures from Japanese folklore that are blessed with magic powers but whose idyllic way of life is threatened by Tokyo’s urban sprawl. AB
The Hairy Bikers’ Christmas Party
BBC Two, 8.00pm
Si King and Dave Myers throw a thank you bash for people they’ve encountered during their televisual travels. There’s no turkey or trimmings on the menu, just party food. The pair are soon whipping up spicy macadamia nuts, honey roast ham with Christmas chutney, Thai treats and Indian bites. They also build an ice luge for their plum pudding-flavoured vodka, and transform their venue into a winter wonderland. Special guest Roy Wood then arrives to belt out I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day – with a little help from our hirsute hosts. MH
The Butlin’s Story
ITV1, 8.00pm
It’s 75 years since Billy Butlin opened his first holiday camp, which quickly became a household name. Three years later war broke out, and the camps were taken over by the Armed Forces. We hear how Butlin’s in Skegness became HMS Royal Arthur, and Prince Philip had a wartime billet at Pwllheli. Home movie footage shows the changing face of holidays down the decades, while now famous former Redcoats including Roy Hudd share their memories, as do entertainers who played at Butlin’s (Status Quo and Ringo Starr among them). A heartwarming and very British story, narrated by Liza Tarbuck. MH
Young James Herriot
BBC One, 9.00pm
The last in this three-part period romp, harking back to the student life of the much-loved vet in 1930s Glasgow. James (Iain de Caestecker) meets Jenny’s parents, Lord and Lady Muirhead, and falls for their pet dog – a handsome Gordon Setter called Freda – almost as much as he has their daughter. However, the Muirheads’ Fascist sympathies soon come to the surface. As if his plate wasn’t full enough, Freda falls ill, final exams are looming and James gets feisty friend Whirly (Amy Manson) in trouble with some unwise comments. MH
The Comedy Annual
ITV1, 9.00pm
The return of this annual comedy special, which sees comedians deliver their verdict on the past year. Jason Manford, Alistair McGowan Jason Byrne and Patrick Monahan join silvery-haired, perma-smiling host Phillip Schofield to run through their highs, lows, loves and loathes of the past 12 months. There’s also an appearance from much-loved West End tenor Alfie Boe. MH
Jamie’s Christmas with Bells On
Channel 4, 9.00pm
The second half of Jamie Oliver’s festive foodie special, filmed at his family Essex home. Having covered preparation in the first show, he now deals with the big day itself. Alongside the traditional turkey, roast potatoes and mulled wine, Oliver demonstrates a tasty twist on Brussels sprouts, his festive fiesta tacos and a Bloody Mary seafood platter. Perhaps most useful of all, he shows how to make the best of leftovers with recipes including Boxing Day turkey chowder. Non-stop sandwiches begone. MH
Jerusalem on a Plate
BBC Four, 9.00pm
There’s no shortage of festive cookery programmes around but this one comes with a difference. Chef Yotam Ottolenghi cooks with Arab and Jewish chefs to find out about the food that defines the city of Jerusalem. From traditional street snacks, such as felafel, and recipes that have passed down the generations, to the influence of immigrants from the Jewish diaspora and some more modern creations, Ottolenghi finds a rich mix of culinary styles. SH
Romanzo Criminale
Sky Arts 1/SA1HD, 9.00pm
Last month the gunning down of two men in a Roman suburb served as an ugly reminder of the re-emergence of mafia gang La Banda della Magliana, on which this series is based. On screen, meanwhile, this bloodily convincing drama concludes with problems mounting for the self-destructive “Lebanese” (Pierfrancesco Favino). SH
True Stories: Little Matador
More4, 10.00pm
“Picasso was born to paint, Mozart to play music and Michelito to be a matador.” So says the father of the 10-year-old star of Mexico’s child bullfighting circuit in this eye-opening documentary. Michelito’s story is just one of three tales of an extreme rite of passage – also featured is 12-year-old Andrea who, after her father abandoned her, vowed to save her mother from poverty by becoming successful in the ring. SH
The Chronicles of Narnia – the Voyage of the Dawn Treader (2010)
Sky Movies Premiere/SMPHD, 10.00pm
In the third of CS Lewis’s stories about a magical parallel universe, Lucy and Edmund and their obnoxious cousin Eustace join their friend Prince Caspian on a sea voyage to find the Seven Lost Lords of Narnia. Enchanting. AB
Horatio’s Drive: America’s First Road Trip
PBS, 10.05pm
Back in 1903, Dr Horatio Nelson Jackson attempted something sensational. He drove all the way across America for a $50 bet. At a time when there were only 150 miles of paved roads in the entire US, he set off in his “horseless carriage” accompanied by co-driver Sewall K Crocker and his dog, Bud. Documentary-maker Ken Burns’s two-part film recalls a remarkable road trip. SH
The Bourne Supremacy (2004)
ITV1, 10.35pm; not STV
Continuing the story of Jason Bourne, this sequel sees the former assassin (Matt Damon) living in Goa with his girlfriend Marie (Franka Potente) when a Russian assassin arrives to plunge him back into the deep end of a CIA conspiracy. It’s not quite as good as the first and third instalments, but it’s still a cut above most spy thrillers. EC
WEDNESDAY 21 DECEMBER
CRITIC'S CHOICE: Downton Abbey: Behind the Drama
ITV1, 7.30pm
The second series of decadent costume drama Downton Abbey was a little disappointing. Barmy plotting was mainly to blame. Satisfying storylines were dropped at whim and sudden narrative twists jolted us into melodrama. That said it’s still seductive stuff: sumptuously set, sensitively acted and with a strong romantic core. Now, for Downton devotees, there’s double delight ahead. Along with a one-off special Christmas Day episode which is being heralded as a spectacular return to form, tonight we get to glimpse how the magic is made.
Narrated by the Earl of Grantham himself (Hugh Bonneville), we get interviews with the actors and a tour of the spots where the show is filmed. Cast members including Michelle Dockery (frosty Lady Mary Crawley) and Joanne Froggatt (canny head housemaid Anna Smith) wax lyrical about their characters and working with the rest of the cast. We go behind the scenes at Ealing Studios, where the servants’ scenes are filmed, and tour dreamy Highclere Castle, home to the upper-crust Crawley clan. We’re also thrown into the thick of the action on location in Ipswich, where the rather ropey-looking battle scenes which opened the series were filmed. TD
Christmas University Challenge
BBC Two, 7.00pm; Scotland, 6.30pm
University College London take on Magdalen College, Oxford – pitting Telegraph writers Lucy Jones and Harry Mount against one another – as the two teams battle it out for a spot in the semi-finals of the graduate version of this fiendish student quiz. Fellow contestants include brainy Booker Prize-winning novelist Alan Hollinghurst and hard-nosed newsreader Fiona Armstrong. Jeremy Paxman hosts. TD
Nigel Slater’s Simple Christmas
BBC One, 7.30pm; BBC Two Scotland, 7.00pm
Nigel Slater’s fuss-free recipes are infused with his personality and childhood, so it’s no surprise that his festive fare draws on family favourites. His father’s annual contribution, the Christmas casserole, gets a makeover and Slater cooks up winter slaw inspired by his family’s cheeseboard, with added blue cheese and walnuts. Carousing continues up in a grand house in the Scottish Highlands, where Slater indulges in a venison supper and creates a cocktail to toast the New Year. TD
Top of the Pops 2: Christmas Special
BBC Two, 7.30pm; Scotland, 8.00pm
Mark Radcliffe presents festive choices from the BBC archive which include songs that will either get your Christmassy juices flowing or make you groan “not that song again”. From the past come hits from Slade, Wizzard, Wham!, The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl, Shakin’ Stevens, Paul McCartney and John Lennon and Yoko Ono – along with rare footage of David Bowie from 1973 and Ringo Starr performing Don’t Come Easy. From the present there’s Coldplay, Adele, Kurtis Blow and a tribute to Amy Winehouse. CG
Night on Film: an A-Z of the Dark
BBC Four, 8.00pm
This extensive and eclectic collection of archive footage has been drawn together to make up an A-Z of what happens in the world after dark. Be it nature, the supernatural or stories drawn from the news, Night on Film offers a strange and sometimes eerie world encompassing both past and present. It’s one that takes in everything from fishing by moonlight to Second World War blackouts. We also witness the beauty of starlings at sunset, the peculiar pleasures of vampire hunting at Highgate cemetery and midnight moth-watching – plus a chance to experience the loneliness of the night through the eyes of a lighthouse keeper. SH
Kirstie’s Home for Christmas
Channel 4, 8.00pm
Cosy Kirstie Allsopp has wholesome appeal, but her mission to conquer the cut-throat world of craft competitions in Kirstie’s Handmade Britain really pushed the boundaries of twee. The theme gets a seasonal twist in the second of her festive specials, as she takes on experts at a Christmas fair. Reunited with her craft-loving chums, Allsopp throws herself into a yule-log contest, amid much carol singing and spiced cider. TD
A Night of Heroes: the Military Awards 2011
ITV1, 8.30pm
Supported by the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, this annual event celebrates the work of the Armed Forces – it’s like an Oscars ceremony for soldiers. Hosted by Phillip Schofield and Amanda Holden, it has award categories recognising various fields of military endeavour. It lauds front-line troops, medics and the personnel behind the lines, and includes prizes for “Best Soldier” and “Life Saver”. CM
Rick Stein’s Spanish Christmas
BBC Two, 9.00pm; Scotland, 9.30pm
After touring Spain in his campervan for his series earlier this year, Rick Stein brings his new Spanish influences to Christmas. Eschewing traditional turkey, he cooks up a big joint of lamb which has had its marinade massaged in. CG
Dark Arts: Art of the Night
BBC Four, 9.00pm
Painting at night can only add to the technical challenges faced by artists. So why have so many painters relished what appears to be a forbidding task? British art critic Waldemar Januszczak looks at the nocturnal works of Van Gogh, Rembrandt, Hopper, Velazquez and Magritte to explore what attracted them to the night, and asks why the dark adds so much more to the mystery of their works. SH
Cutting Edge: Obsessive Compulsive Hoarder
Channel 4, 9.00pm
“Someone said to me the other day did I live here. I said no I exist here,” says a bedraggled Richard Wallace, perched on top of a five-foot high pile of papers. Wallace is a hoarder – his extensive Surrey property (a bungalow, four-bedroom house and five garages) is so stuffed with paraphernalia it takes him half an hour to reach the front door. But this absorbing documentary is as much a study of English village life as it is of defiant Wallace’s health-threatening habits. His conservative neighbours, stalwarts of Britain in Bloom, are incensed at the eccentric outsider’s garbage-filled garden. As the programme continues however, the community comes good, rallying round to help Wallace forge a new life for himself. TD
Bad Santa (2004)
Channel 5, 9.00pm
Here’s a festive flick with a difference. Produced by the Coen brothers, Terry Zwigoff’s non-PC dark comedy stars Billy Bob Thornton as a self-destructive low-life who hires himself out as Father Christmas in order to rob department stores. Bawdy and tasteless, it’s a funny antidote to the yearly avalanche of cloying Christmas movies. PS
Ruth Jones’ Christmas Cracker
BBC Two, 10.00pm; Scot, 10.30pm
Ruth Jones proved herself a far less capable interviewer than actress when her lacklustre chat show debuted at the end of last year. Perhaps inviting gobby Gavin & Stacey collaborator James Corden onto the couch will spice up this seasonal special. Feisty singer Lulu, comedian Mickey Flanagan and Welsh rockers Manic Street Preachers will feature. TD
Bad Education (2004)
More4, 12.15am
A mesmerising film from Pedro Almodóvar, one of Europe’s most lauded directors. It tackles child abuse in the Catholic Church, teenage love and the slippery nature of identity through the story of Ignacio Rodriguez (Gael García Bernal), a man who tracks down his boyhood sweetheart to make a film about their shared damaged past. CR
Scarlet Street (1945, b/w)
BBC Two, 1.10am
Edward G Robinson plays a henpecked clothing store cashier and amateur artist who loses his heart to party girl Joan Bennett, in this classic film noir directed by Fritz Lang. He soon graduates from lying to stealing to murder in order to realise his romantic dreams at any cost. You know he’s got it bad when you see him painting her toenails. AB
35 Shots of Rum (2008)
Film4, 1.25am
Claire Denis’s delicate, observational study of a widowed train driver and his student daughter in one of Paris’s more welcoming suburbs requires a good deal of patience, but remains one of the French director’s most accessible films. Denis skilfully evokes a warmly lit world of picturesque railway lines and gracefully shifting relationships. AB
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