Another blockage

I am down with plugged milk duct and this is my 3rd time in 3 months! *sigh* Anyway, it's not that bad yet, like the first time I had when with Zahra. Maybe because I dah pernah kena so macam cautious sikit. Dah rasa sikit2, terus treat it.

The previous two, I quickly ran hot shower and comb the breast to ease the milk duct, and nurse Emir a lot, and the plugged gone the next day. But this time, it still clogged even I did the hot shower, combing, massage, nurse, pump.. sigh. And it's getting worse. I pump pun dah tak keluar susu. Nasib baik sebelah je.

Later this evening will stop by at the shop to get cabbage and try it. Ni petua orang-orang tua, letak cabbage sampai kering. It will suck out the stuck milk.

Hopefully it will be gone the next day. Now nak dukung Emir pun dah tak boleh, so painful.

And the Routine Begins..

After a few months on pumping vacation (I stopped pumping around April 2011), now the routine begins. In fact this is a bit late compared during Zahra. I started to pump when she was 3 days old! Talking about semangat. And I managed to stock up a lot..like, A LOT! I was thinking that if I die, the milk can last Zahra for a year (my freezer freeze at -20, so macam deep freezer), that's how a lot. But most of them went to waste because she started to reject my EBM when she was about 13months.

So afraid sejarah mungkin berulang, I decided not to overdo it. I plan to just stock up a bit for emergencies and give Emir freshly pumped everyday. Kalau cukup. No no no. Can't say kalau cukup untuk breastfeed, MESTI CUKUP! I have to motivate myself, my body and brain that the milk is gonna be enough for daily supply. InsyaAllah..semuanya dengan izin Tuhan jugak..

Anyway talking about breastfeeding and pumping, honestly I feel a bit tired of it *sigh*. It is just a small feeling that linger in the air when I'm worn out. You know..something like this 'haishh...kena pam/susu again :('. Maybe it's part of the postpartum blues. Hopefully I can get it over soon. Breastmilk is the best and purest source to nourish them.. I'm keeping that in mind as my motivation and hopefully I can BF Emir at least for a year. Then we'll move to another a year *positive! positive!*

This morning session. So sleepy and have this strong urgency to go back to sleep after say bye-bye to MrComot and Zahra, but Emir is still sleeping, so I have to pump out, else susu kurang nanti, rugi.. Semangat! Come come to me!

And my sweetpea's latest pic! He is one smiley baby!

Ahh I forgot to write about Zahra and Emir punya progress. Later later..

Anyway, salam Muharram to everyone! What's ur resolution? Mesti Islamic punya sebab bulan Islam kan hehe. Mine as usual la, want to do more in ibadah, be a better person, a better wife, bla bla bla..same old story :( Must try harder to achieve it! And I was intrigued by one of my friend's status in FB, he says that Muharram means we have 9 months to Ramadhan! How fast time flies! Hope dipanjangkan umur for this Ramadhan, amin..

Weaning Zahra

As promised before, this is the story how we managed to wean Zahra! Yeayyyy!

Err...but but..we decided not to wean her. Boleh? So complicated. Nevermind, cerita satu2 dulu hehe.

As I wrote before, weaning a toddler (2yo) is hard because breastfeeding has become an emotional attachment to them, not as the drinking source. Kalau orang Melayu cakap, macam ketagih ganja! It's true..the moment Zahra latch on me, berpeluh-peluh dia macam syok giler sampai I pun saiko tengok ok. Are u ok? Are u ok? Haha. And now that she latches on me after come back from babysitter, normally the milk is gone already, I susukan Emir siap-siap, dia tak kisahh..bukan nak susu, saja je nak melekap. The first thing she asks when she steps into the house is 'bak' not mommy. Grrr....

I already can adapt 'two' babies and pretty much okay with Zahra bf-ing but during sleep time, it is very hard..because Emir will wakes up and I have to BF Emir and Zahra pun sibuk nak. I BF Emir with mengiring position and Zahra sanggup climb over to latch on the other boob. Gigih ni. Kalau kejap-kejap I won't mind, sometimes she's so sleepy so she is not that sober and doesn't feel 'kelenguhan' tonggeng nak melekap, so it will take sometimes, but I feel it, sakit pinggang ok. So I said, that's it, kena wean jugak.

I've put a lot of thing at my bak before, even ubat gamat, dia tak kisah ok. And this is the only thing that works for her...

Asam jawa!!!

It works on the first try, and until now! The moment she latch, she was stunned with the taste and stare at me and said;

'bak...yekkk!' (mommy's boobs got poop)

Apparently she thought that's how poop tastes like ahaha. Then I quickly said:

'hah? Ada yek? Suruh daddy wash'

And she rushed out from the room to her daddy while crying asking MrComot to carry her and wash her mouth. Hahaha.. for the first time I managed to sleep peacefully. Then when she woke up in the middle of the night, she asking for a latch, I will say, tak boleh, ada yek. Then she will say..'yekk..' with a very sad tone and went back to sleep. I'm so sedih too...see...I told ya, it's emotional attachment. Even myself not ready to let her go :(

Anyway she keep on asking for BF the next day, but then she will stop and told me my bak got yek and ask me to wash! Wahhh budak kecik ni dah improvised! Because she knows she can wash her mouth kan. So I just said, 'mommy dah wash, tapi ada yek jugak'. Then she will look pitifully at me and said 'bak..yek..washhh..eeeeeeee' and forget about bak after that. Haha that part tak sedih, dia cakap with cheeky tone.

By the way, I didn't do everytime because she never stop asking, and I have to go to the kitchen and open fridge and sapu and then basuh again when Emir pulak nak susu, so a bit hassle. So whenever she asks and my boob is empty, I just give it. So I think it gives her a wrong message that sometimes the yek is there, sometimes not. Whatever it is, the trick still works. I only do it during the weekend because she'll be with me the whole day kan..sikit2 mintak, susah la. During weekdays, I just layan her, only that I have to be smart, like BF Emir siap-siap before she comes back or pump some milk out for Emir later.

Talking about why I didn't wean her totally yet..well to be honest, I'm not ready. And I can feel she is not ready too.

And she has become a very good girl and sister. Sometimes, she just come and asking for bak, latch for a while, less than a minute and back continue her play. She doesn't get angry or upset anymore whenever I feed Emir and she understands that Emir need to drink.

Paling sedih after dia makan ubat in the morning, the medicine is so bitter that she'll ask for BF immediately. It's the only comfort source for her, for now... I have no heart to stop it yet. She's gonna finished the medication next month..so I'll see where it will take us from there. For now, I'm not gonna wean her totally.

So yeah, that's my story. If you are about to wean your kids, you can try this method! It's natural and harmless :D

I survived the day!

Thank God, I survived yesterday!

And today a bit free because my MIL is around, so she came here to pick up Zahra around 11am for lunch and will send her back for nap later. Zahra ni memang can't nap without me..

Anyway a little details about yesterday, MrComot readied my lunch and totti's soup in the morning, nasib baik! Kalau tak, memang I tak makan la the whole day. I mean, proper food hehe. All in all, it's a very exhausted day. But all taken care as in, three of us well fed, mandi (sekali je..jadi lahhhhhhh..normally Zahra mandi 2x, tapi I dah flat huhuhu) and no drama crying or whatsoever. Only that Zahra woke up from her nap at 3pm! Normally around 5pm baru bangun, so terpaksa la mommy melayan.

At a point I feel like SUPERMOMMY! Perasan sangat because I'm not kan. Of course la perasan because on the evening, my right hand is suap Zahra makan petang, and on the left tengah pangku Emir menyusu. Rasa nak menangis pun ada haha.

All and all, I managed during the day, but not at the night! MrComot came back and I was bf-ing Emir that time, and said

'U look thinner than yesterday..hmm kalau macam ni sampai next week, me nak bagi Emir formula lah'

I knowwwwwwwww...I look haggard. And rumah macam tongkang pecah. I was so tired and at a point is considering giving Emir formula ok! So bad of me! Zahra 1st experience I manage to BF for more than a year, and with Emir is like 1 month? Even though it's only a thought. I feel so bad. But I understand MrComot as well, he's so worried about me *sigh*

Btw, we were thinking of hiring a maid. It's more like MrComot la..as I don't favor the idea. I don't like having stranger in the house but ntah la..I kesian my hubby too. He has to do most of the work and I think tired la.. dah la penat jam from KL like more than an hour everyday, pastu balik rumah pun nak buat kerja (him and work, tak habis2, but that's his work, I can't complaint) and Zahra pulak sibuk nak play. Zahra sleeps at 12 midnight, every single day. I really don't understand her. Why tak boleh tidur awal like other kids :(

We tried everything, cut her nap, tuck her in earlier, but failed. Nanti lah I fikir macam mana...hmmmm..

I hope this only a phase where we can ride on it til the end. Ya Allah...kurniakanlah kesabaran yg tinggi for us.. I really don't like the maid idea.