Caught up in the rapture
The world is ending today. In fact, it might end before I get to post this, or before you get to download these five songs. It’s the day of Rapture. And we tend to get a lot of those these days. Yesterday Any Minor Dude said to me: “You can’t predict the end of the world.” Like the pedantic shit that I am, I reponded: “Oh, you can predict. You can always make a prediction, but most likely you’ll be wrong if you try and predict the last day of the world.” So whichever crazy cult said the world would end on 21 May will probably have made a wrong prediction. They’ll certainly feel pretty stupid if the world ends on Monday.
In any case, if the world were to end, it would be the Good News, because Jesus would come to save the righteous — and by mere dint of reading this blog, you are righteous. The Rapture thing is really what others call Judgment Day. So here are a few songs riffing on that theme, in lieue of Blondie and Anita Baker.
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The Rance Allen Group – There’s Gonna Be A Showdown (1972)
Great stomper by gospel-soul/funk guys who turned The Temptations Just My Imagination into Just My Salvation on Covered With Soul Vol. 5.
Johnny Cash – Redemption Day (released 2010)
Recorded shortly before his death, the devout Christian Cash gets ready for the Judgment. “There is a train that’s heading straight to heaven’s gate… And on the way, child and man and woman wait, watch and wait, for redemption day.”
Over The Rhine – The Trumpet Child (2007)
“The trumpet child will blow his horn, will blast the sky till it’s reborn. With Gabriel’s power and Satchmo’s grace, he will surprise the human race.”
The Carter Family – When Our Lord Shall Come Again (1939)
The original Carter Family turn up on radio in 1939 to sing a hymn by Johnson Oatman Jr.(1856-1922) with music by R.L. Ferguson. “When upon the clouds of heaven Christ shall come to earth again; will the world be glad to see Him, when our Lord shall come again?”
Arizona Dranes – He’s Coming Soon (late 1920s)
Early gospel-blues legend makes a prediction. If the world ends today, she’ll be just 80-something years late.
I must have been sleeping when the bearded one knocked on my door because I’m still here.
These folks will be plenty embarrassed but at least they didn’t buy matching sneakers and cut of their jumbly bits in anticipation of being swept up into a world behind the Halle-Bopp comet.
The guy who predicted all this was 84. I’m hoping that he had the pleasure of having a fatal heart attack this morning. That way he’ll have gone out thinking he was right. And really, don’t we all want that to be our final thought?
Who knew that salvation was as simple as stopping by a blog. To paraphrase Wilford Brimley’s assessment of eating Quaker Oats, it’s the right thing to do and a tasty way to do it.
Good call on Over the Rhine. As to the missed prediction, when I was still up at 1 a.m. Saturday, I figure it wasn’t happening. It had to be 6 p.m. somewhere, although I was too lazy to Google the time zones . . .
Oh, hell, one of us should have posted the similarly timely “Blow, Gabriel, Blow” from the musical “Anything Goes” over on Star Maker Machine today.
What a pity the Rapture didn’t take place. The average IQ on earth would have doubled.