The 10 Best Pop Singles Of 2016

All you fucks thought we were dead, but nah — the past 14 months have been like an extended vacation. Plus, if the Bush era taught the world one thing, it's that the Chart Rigger THOTs thrive best when there's an low-rent imbecile headed to the White House.

So, yes, D'luv (follow me on Instagram) and Moogaboo (follow him, too) took, oh, all of 2016 off from dispensing our pearls of trashdom around here. And December 2015 marked the first time in a decade we didn't do our annual 10 Best Pop Singles of the year list. But screw it — the world is spiraling down the garbage bucket at the speed of light, so it's time to say FUCK YOU TO 2016, flip the lights back on at this dive and educate the chyldryn all over again in the new year.

Before that happens, though, let's look at what was actually good from the past 12 months.

 — Robbie and John | Pittsburgh, PA, December 2016 —

xx

10. Zara Larsson, "Lush Life"

D'luv says: "I listened to 'Lush Life' a lot while poolside over the summer, which is exactly where you'd want to play it. 'Never Forget You' was Zara's big US hit, while this far superior jam flopped on the charts. Isn't that always the way?"
Moogaboo says: "Perfect pop without pretensions, Zara's light summer anthem landed on the right side of the 'tropical house' trend and deserved more play than radio afforded it."
Charts: SWE #1, UK #3, US #75 

9. Ariana Grande featuring Nicki Minaj, "Side By Side"

D'luv says: "Ariana gets a one-song pass from me per album...especially when that song is about getting fucked so hard you can't walk straight."
Moogaboo says: "This catchy fuck-jam broke me down until I found myself reveling in its complete lack of shame. Where were you when you first found yourself repeating the line 'wrist icicle, ride dick bicycle'? (I was at the public library.)"
Charts: AUS #3, US #4, UK #4 

8. Clean Bandit featuring Louisa Johnson, "Tears"

D'luv says: "I think Clean Bandit are the modern day Ace Of Base, and for that alone they should be given the keys to the pop kingdom."
Moogaboo says: "If you watch only one video with an exploding violin this year, it should be 'Tears!"
Charts: UK #5, US Dance #17 

7. Pet Shop Boys, "The Pop Kids"



D'luv says: "I first heard 'The Pop Kids' while crashing at a friend's house in L.A. in February for a few weeks, and that throwback house sound was fantastic while driving around under the sunny skies. Now that the dust has settled on Super, I feel like this will be one of the standout tracks from the duo's whole Stuart Price era."
Moogaboo says: "I love that the PSBs aren't afraid to wear their aged-pop-aunties titles on their impeccably tailored sleeves. 'The Pop Kids' is both wistful and witty, an elegy to '90s disco nights gone by that manages to sound more contemporary and chic than output by peers half Neil and Chris' age."
Charts: US Dance #1

6. Rihanna, "Kiss It Better"



D'luv says: "This just makes me think of sex. Easily RiRi's best single off Anti...so of course it flopped."
Moogaboo says: "Of course! The squealing guitars, pleading chorus, and ghost-sex video put this one over the top for me. In all fairness, Rihanna did leave for lunch before anyone could write a second verse, but I find the copy + paste effect adds to 'Kiss It Better's out-of-fucks charm."
Charts: UK #45, US #62, US Dance #1 
 
5. Justin Timberlake, "Can't Stop The Feeling!"



D'luv says: "Suck it, haters! 'Can't Stop The Feeling' — a Grammy and Golden Globe nominee, plus the best-selling US single of 2016, mind you — was the feelgood smash in a very feelbad year. "
Moogaboo says: "I bought some new size 32-waist jeans to this Trolls anthem back in October, so I'll let it live. Yes, that's a shallow summation that has nothing to do with anything but my own vanity... THANK YOU, it's great to be back!"
Charts: US #1, CAN #1, FRANCE #1, UK #2, AUS #3

4. Zayn, "Pillowtalk"




D'luv says: "So while 'Kiss It Better' makes me think of pleasant, by-the-numbers sex, 'Pillowtalk' is like a 'STRANGLE ME WITH YOUR DICK, KING!' fuck sesh."
Moogaboo says: "Bad boys with delusions of deepness are one of my magnificent obsessions in life. So I'm here for ZaYn and his sleaze-sex-pop magic."
Charts: US #1, UK #1, CAN #1, AUS #1 

3. Calvin Harris featuring Rihanna, "This Is What You Came For"
 

D'luv says: "Now here's a perfect springtime jam that stuck around all through the summer, too. I love everything about euphoric house gem 'This Is What You Came For', despite the late reveal that it was penned by beige cock hound Taylor Swift."
Moogaboo says: "Making me long for the days of up-tempo Rihanna — she was always an underestimated disco doyenne in my book. Yes, T. Swift's involvement threw a yoga mat over some of its shine for me, but in the end, it's an undeniable twirler."
Charts: AUS #1, CAN, #1, UK #2, US #3 

2. The 1975, "Somebody Else"

D'luv says: "Dreamy new wave synths and regret. This was the first song that snapped me out of wanting to hang myself in the dead of winter earlier this year."
Moogaboo says: "Sometimes this three-Kleenex sad-bop comes on the radio and makes me wish I still had feelings."
Charts: AUS #34, UK #55 

1. The Weeknd featuring Daft Punk, "Starboy"



D'luv says: "This is my 'stealth loner warrior stalking around the city with a disaffected/manic look' song. It's also about Bella Hadid doing coke, plus somehow also a David Bowie tribute. Go figure."
Moogaboo says: " OHHH. Is that what 'she clean it with her face' means? Any song whose title reminds me of RuPaul's crude beginnings as Starbooty! has got a lot to live up to and, IMO, Mr. Weeknd does more than meet expectations with this kinetic, dark-sided meditation on fame."
Charts: CAN #1, FRANCE #1, US #2, UK #2, AUS #2 





HONORABLE MENTIONS:

D'luv: Clean Bandit feat. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie, "Rockabye"   
 (Three words, kids: Ace Of Base.) 



Moogaboo: Crystal Waters feat. Stead-E & Hybrid Heights, "Believe"
(Admiration for Crystal's tenacity aside — she's been putting out several anthems a year for a quarter-century — "Believe" is a high-energy house throwback in the best way.)

ALSO SEE:

* The Best Pop Singles Of 2014
* The Best Pop Singles Of 2013
* The Best Pop Singles Of 2012 
* The Best Pop Singles Of 2011
* The Best Pop Singles Of 2010
* The Best Pop Singles Of 2009
* The Best Pop Singles Of 2008
* The Best Pop Singles Of 2007
* The Best Pop Singles Of 2006
* The Best Pop Singles Of 2005
* The Top 40 Pop Singles Of The '00s

US Chart Roundup: Nick Jonas Needs To Just Whip It Out Already

With 13 weeks at the top of the Billboard Hot 100, "Uptown Funk" is now the longest running #1 of this decade, and it's just three weeks shy of matching the longest running #1: Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men's "One Sweet Day," which spent 16 weeks at the top between December 1995 and March 1996.

Now, let's talk about hot piece of sexy Nick Jonas, whose "Chains" finally breaks free from the #20 spot it's been stuck at for a while now and flies all the way up to...#19. Given that the song is actually a hit now, Nick's label sunk a bit of money into a brand new video for "Chains."



Hmmm. I have to say, I kind of preferred the previous, much more gritty "Chains" video, which was released last summer when the song was merely (I guess?) a buzz track. This new one looks like it was shot on an iPhone during a two-hour break from all the fucking and drugging going on at the Ultra music fest.

Also slowly inching up the chart, Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding's previous UK #1 "Outside" climbs one position to #29, while Tove Lo's third Top 40 single "Talking Body" squeaks up from #39 to #37.

On a final note, it was one year ago this week that Calvin's "Summer" video premiered. What a slut.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Uptown Funk" - Mark Ronson feat. Bruno Mars *13 weeks*
2. "Sugar" - Maroon 5
3. "Thinking Out Loud" - Ed Sheeran
4. "Love Me Like You Do" - Ellie Goulding
5. "Earned It (Fifty Shades Of Grey)" - The Weeknd
6. "Trap Queen" - Fetty Wap
7. "Style" - Taylor Swift
8. "FourFiveSeconds" - Rihanna, Kanye West & Paul McCartney
9. "G.D.F.R." - Flo Rida feat. Sage The Gemini & Lookas
10. "Somebody" - Natalie La Rose feat. Jeremih

Calvin Harris' Bulge, For Emporio Armani

Calvin Harris is the new face and crotch of Emporio Armani's spring and summer 2015 line. That means we get photos like these...which are much better than his musical output lately.

Calvin Harris And Haim's "Pray To God" Video Should Properly Freak You Out

I used to really love Calvin Harris' musical output, and that all changed with this past album, whateveritscalled. I bought his first two CDs on import as soon as they were released, in 2007 and 2009, respectively, and also picked up his third, hit-packed one, 18 Months, domestically, as he'd become quite a pop force in America by that point.

But by the time his fourth album rolled around, Calvin went from being the scruffy-cute Scottish kid who looked like he'd just rolled out of bed to something of a perceived pop lothario, content with banging models and strippers on yachts and in racing cars and on jets. Sure, "Summer" was a decent track and a huge hit. But most of this last album sunk beneath the weight of Calvin's penchant for bland, passed-its-sell-by-date EDM trappings.

Anyway, one of the three good tracks on the set is the Haim pair-up "Pray To God." The song finds the Grammy nominees singing atop a blatant Stevie Nicks "Edge Of Seventeen" riff, and its accompanying music video sees the trio paying homage to said Iconic Witch, via their acts of sorcery and shawl-twirling. Hell, there are even white-winged doves in there!



It's a super creepy video, and one that will no doubt get raked over the coals for its heavy usage of animals...but an interesting watch, nonetheless.

Calvin Harris And Ellie Goulding's "Outside" Might Just Be Better Than "I Need Your Love": Listen

Calvin Harris' previous album, 2012's 18 Months, was full of several absolute gems and a couple of clunky tracks. One of the great ones was the global hit "I Need Your Love," a pair-up with Ellie Goulding.

The two of them got back together for "Outside," a cut off Calvin's upcoming Motion LP, and it's surprisingly less harder-edged than, say, Harris' current single "Blame." It plays like a really nice, melodic pop track that's slightly reminiscent of Rita Ora's hit from earlier this year, "I Will Never Let You Down."



This is definitely the best of the four songs we've heard so far from this album. Now, bring out the Gwen Stefani one already!

US Chart Roundup: Fergie's New Song Makes Me Want To Die Horribly

With the same pack of broads locking up much of the Top 10 with the same boring songs, let's look elsewhere on the Billboard Hot 100 for a smidgeon of enjoyment this week.  

Sam Smith's "I'm Not The Only One" is now his second Top 40 single as a lead artist in the US (and fourth overall, if we include Disclosure's "Latch" and Naughty Boy's "La La La"), as it moves up 27 positions to #25. Let's just hope he's not spending all his cash on coke and dildos, because that would be a dumb-dumb thing to do.

Not far behind, Nick Jonas' "Jealous" is up to #28, while Calvin Harris and John Newman's "Blame" inches upward to #31 and Mr. Probz's "Waves" is at #32. Might be nice to see them all drop their pants and have a sword fight...possibly for a TV Christmas special?

Way down in the lowest tier of the chart, Kiesza's "Hideaway" drops to #94 after peaking at #51 awhile back. I don't know if I want to live in a world where "Anaconda" is a Top 10 single for two months while "Hideaway" can't even crack the Top 40.

Making matters even worse, Fergie's atrocious comeback single "L.A. Love (La La)" debuts at #97. What an abysmal ho.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "All About That Bass" - Meghan Trainor *6 weeks*
2. "Shake It Off" - Taylor Swift
3. "Black Widow" - Iggy Azalea feat. Rita Ora
4. "Habits (Stay High)" - Tove Lo
5. "Bang Bang" - Jessie J, Ariana Grande & Nicki Minaj
6. "Don't Tell 'Em" - Jeremih feat. YG
7. "Animals" - Maroon 5
8. "Anaconda" - Nicki Minaj
9. "Stay With Me" - Sam Smith
10. "Hot Boy" - Bobby Shmurda

Everyone From Gwen Stefani To Tinashe To Ellie Goulding Is On Calvin Harris' 'Motion' Album

Calvin Harris' fourth album Motion arrives in less than a month (on November 4), and while we've already heard singles off it like "Summer" and "Blame," the hot Scot posted on Twitter a number of artists who'll feature on the LP. Witness below!

About to tell you who's all on my new album 🙌
— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) October 5, 2014

There's a new track with @elliegoulding on my album Motion http://t.co/ogi8vx7Oeo
— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) October 5, 2014

There's a new track with @UmmetOzcan called Overdrive http://t.co/ogi8vx7Oeo
— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) October 5, 2014

There's a new track with @BigSean on Motion... http://t.co/ogi8vx7Oeo
— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) October 5, 2014

There's a new track with @R3HAB called Burnin http://t.co/ogi8vx7Oeo
— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) October 5, 2014

There's a new track with @Tinashe on Motion http://t.co/ogi8vx7Oeo
— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) October 5, 2014

There's a new track with @HAIMtheband http://t.co/ogi8vx7Oeo
— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) October 5, 2014

A new track with @Firebeatz is on there http://t.co/ogi8vx7Oeo
— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) October 5, 2014

Another brand new song with @theohurts @AdamHurts http://t.co/ogi8vx7Oeo
— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) October 5, 2014

A new track with @allaboutshe http://t.co/ogi8vx7Oeo
— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) October 5, 2014

Also @gwenstefani is on my new album Motion... http://t.co/ogi8vx7Oeo
— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) October 5, 2014

And there's a couple more with me singing http://t.co/ogi8vx7Oeo
— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) October 5, 2014

Incidentally, All About She did a pretty nice remix of Clean Bandit's "Rather Be" this year.

US Chart Roundup: Nick Jonas' "Jealous" Is My Jam

Meghan Trainor continues to gyrate her bass at the top of the Billboard Hot 100 this week, while Charli XCX yo-yos once again and jumps back into the Top 10 (at #10). Meanwhile, Calvin Harris and John Newman's "Blame" debuts at #31, marking the fastest-growing single (so far) for either of those two in the States. In the UK, "Blame" is at the top of the singles chart.

Outside of the Top 40, Dutch rapper-turned-crooner Mr. Probz climbs to #58 with the Robin Shulz remix of his song "Waves." And that brings us to Nick Jonas, who sees his very first solo single chart on the Hot 100 (minus features and songs that didn't have an official single release) with "Jealous," at #78. And, I have to say — "Jealous" has totally become my jam over the past week, so I completely approve of his Jonas-ing.



The U.S. Top 10:

1. "All About That Bass" - Meghan Trainor *2 weeks*
2. "Shake It Off" - Taylor Swift
3. "Anaconda" - Nicki Minaj
4. "Black Widow" - Iggy Azalea feat. Rita Ora
5. "Bang Bang" - Jessie J, Ariana Grande & Nicki Minaj
6. "Stay With Me" - Sam Smith
7. "Break Free" - Ariana Grande feat. Zedd
8. "Maps" - Maroon 5
9. "Rude" - MAGIC!
10. "Boom Clap" - Charli XCX

It's Calvin Harris & John Newman's "Blame" Video

I've watched Calvin Harris and John Newman's "Blame" video twice now and I'm still not able to fully wrap my head around what's going on.

Overall, it seems like an excuse to parade a bunch of scantily-clad broads around in Victoria's Secret's finest. I guess if you scratch the surface, John (and, briefly, Calvin) are supposed to be emotionally troubled over said ladies, who, by the end of this whole shebang, leave the club they've been hookin' in, jump into a puddle of water and resurface in some far off land.

Maybe it's the land where this trash has a plot. Oh, well — still a decent jam, "Blame" is.

Calvin Harris & John Newman's "Blame" Is Better Than You Expected It To Be: Listen

 

Calvin Harris and John Newman are two artists I can get behind — Calvin in more ways than one — and so when news came three months ago that Harris' follow-up to "Summer" would be a collaboration between the two, well, it was cause for party hats and Barbie Doll legs.

So here we are now with "Blame," which sounds like much more of a thought-out song than "Summer" ever did. No disrespect to "Summer," of course; I like that one. It's just that "Blame" represents something of a new melodic direction for Calvin Harris, which is something I think he needed for his fourth album, lest he veer to far off the path into Avicii/Guetta EDM Hell territory.

Calvin Harris & John Newman's "Blame": Here's A Preview Of The Single

Calvin Harris has been teasing his Instagram followers by posting a couple shoddy snippets of his "Summer" follow-up single "Blame," but now there's finally a clear clip where we can hear John Newman's chorus on the damn thing.

The song is set for release on September 7, while it will officially premiere (possibly via the Emil Nava-directed video) on September 4. Until then...

US Chart Roundup: Full Disclosure

Oh, the Billboard Hot 100... it's finally gotten interesting for the first time this year. My main squeeze Calvin Harris is still at #8 with "Summer," while Disclosure are up to #11 with their Sam Smith jam "Latch" and Sia is now at #20 with "Chandelier." And then there's Charli XCX, who creeps up to #25 with her first hit outside of being a feature, "Boom Clap."

Sure, this might all seem like taco cock on the surface. But it matters. It really really matters.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Fancy" - Iggy Azalea feat. Charli XCX *6 weeks*
2. "Rude" - MAGIC!
3. "Problem" - Ariana Grande feat. Iggy Azalea
4. "Am I Wrong" - Nico & Vinz
5. "Stay With Me" - Sam Smith
6. "Wiggle" - Jason Derulo feat. Snoop Dogg
7. "All Of Me" - John Legend
8. "Summer" - Calvin Harris
9. "Turn Down For What" - DJ Snake & Lil Jon
10. "Happy" - Pharrell Williams

US Chart Roundup: It's A Sam Smith World...

Iggy Azalea and Charli XCX hold down the top spot on the Billboard Hot 100 for a third week with "Fancy," while Charli finally lands a chart hit all by her lonesome with "Boom Clap." Her contribution to the Fault In Our Stars soundtrack, the song goes in at #62.



Also staying put this week is Calvin Harris at #9 with his highest-charting US hit to date, "Summer." More people should be buying that song rather than finger-jamming themselves over "Fancy" and "Problem," if you ask me. Oh, wait — what was that about finger-jamming?

Just below Calvin, at #10, Sam Smith scores his first Top 10 single, stateside, with "Stay With Me." Meanwhile, Disclosure earn their first Top 20 hit (at #17) with "Latch," a song that features Smith on vocals.

Isn't it funny how that works?

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Fancy" - Iggy Azalea feat. Charli XCX *3 weeks*
2. "Problem" - Ariana Grande feat. Iggy Azalea
3. "All Of Me" - John Legend
4. "Turn Down For What" - DJ Snake & Lil Jon
5. "Wiggle" - Jason Derulo feat. Snoop Dogg
6. "Happy" - Pharrell Williams 
7. "Rude" - MAGIC!
8. "Am I Wrong" - Nico & Vinz
9. "Summer" - Calvin Harris
10. "Stay With Me" - Sam Smith

Calvin Harris Announces John Newman-Featuring Single "Blame"

Just when you thought Sam Smith had ripped John Newman's wig off and flushed it down the chute that goes straight to the bottom reaches of the flop chopper, here comes this news...

US Chart Roundup: Major, Vulgar Sex With Shirtless, Naked Calvin Harris

This calls for a shirtless Calvin Harris pic or three! The 30-year-old Scottish electro-stud's "Summer" jumps up to #9 on the Billboard Hot 100 this week and becomes his third Top 10 hit, stateside, in the process (after his and Rihanna's chart-topping "We Found Love" in 2011 and last year's #10-peaking pair-up with Florence Welch, "Sweet Nothing").

That means "Summer" is now his highest charting hit in the US as a lead artist. So far, the only other single of Harris' to make the Hot 100 that doesn't contain another featured artist is "Feel So Close," which peaked at #12 in 2012. It was also his first chart hit in the States.

"Summer" is now Calvin's sixth single to make the Hot 100. Annoyingly, the only one of those to miss the Top 40 (or the Top 20, for that matter) altogether is my favorite of his, the Ayah Marar-featuring "Thinking About You," which stalled at #86 earlier this year.

Anyway, I always knew my boo would make it over here, ever since I bought his first album on import back in 2007 and we started having frequent sex in my dreams that involved the backseats of cars, peanut butter, salsa, crowbars, a leaf blower, three bungee cords and a Real Girl doll with its legs sawed off.

It was a lot of sex.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Fancy" - Iggy Azalea feat. Charli XCX *2 weeks*
2. "Problem" - Ariana Grande feat. Iggy Azalea
3. "All Of Me" - John Legend
4. "Turn Down For What" - DJ Snake & Lil Jon
5. "Happy" - Pharrell Williams
6. "Am I Wrong" - Nico & Vinz 
7. "Dark Horse" - Katy Perry feat. Juicy J
8. "Rude" - MAGIC!
9. "Summer" - Calvin Harris
10. "Wiggle" - Jason Derulo feat. Snoop Dogg

US Chart Roundup: Michael Jackson, Coldplay & Nico & Vinz Give A Good Spring-Jam Jolt

I'm astonished that, in this month with so many great singles — the pick of the pack being Ariana Grande's "Problem" and Michael Jackson and Justin Timberlake's "Love Never Felt So Good" — John Legend's shit piano snoozer "All Of Me" is #1 for a third week on the Billboard Hot 100. But anyway, here we are...

As for "Love Never Felt So Good," the song jumps up to #9, marking MJ's 29th Top 10 single in the States and Timberlake's 16th (including his *NSYNC entries). Billboard also points out that Jackson has the third most Top 10 singles in the US, following Madonna (38 total) and The Beatles (34).

On a personal note, I've fallen in amore with "Love Never Felt So Good" quite hard while on vacation in Italy these past two weeks. I get that Xscape — which debuts at #2 this week on the Billboard 200 — is a big Sony cash-grab. But something about that song just clicked with me. Maybe it's the buckets of booze I've downed in the past 12 days?

Anyway, Coldplay finally land a hit off their just-released sixth album Ghost Stories with "A Sky Full Of Stars." The song jumps to #10, marking their third Top 10 single in the US, and their first since 2008's "Viva La Vida" reached the peak position on the Hot 100.



Just outside of the Top 10, Calvin Harris' "Summer" inches up to #11 and becomes his second-highest charting single here, after "Sweet Nothing" peaked at #10. Coldplay reach a new high of #14 with "Midnight," while Norwegian duo Nico & Vinz move up one spot to #17 with the undeniably catch "Am I Wrong."

That's all I have time for, pop kiddies. Time to soak up the Italian sun in these last 36 hours of my trip. Ciao for now!

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "All Of Me" - John Legend *3 weeks*
2. "Fancy" - Iggy Azalea feat. Charli XCX
3. "Problem" - Ariana Grande feat. Iggy Azalea
4. "Happy" - Pharrell Williams
5. "Turn Down For What" - DJ Snake & Lil Jon
6. "Dark Horse" - Katy Perry feat. Juicy J
7. "Talk Dirty" - Jason Derulo feat. 2 Chain
8. "Not A Bad Thing" - Justin Timberlake
9. "Love Never Felt So Good" - Michael Jackson & Justin Timberlake
10. "A Sky Full Of Stars" - Coldplay

UK Chart Roundup: *&#@("%!!!!!

Oh, nice — two weeks after Calvin Harris topped the UK chart with "Summer," the song he produced for his girlfriend Rita Ora, "I Will Never Let You Down," has gone to #1. Perhaps they $%^%&%* each other's ^@@! with a big, banana-shaped *%&^% after using butter and Kayro syrup to slide a &&^%@ up his (*&^ and then her %%$}) as a celebration?

*(#&$)*&$Y)*%&&$^%)*^&6!!!!

The UK Top 10:

1. "I Will Never Let You Down" - Rita Ora *new* *1 week*
2. "Waves (Robin Shulz Remix)" - Mr Probz
3. "All Of Me" - John Legend
4. "Summer" - Calvin Harris
5. "Hideaway" - Kiesza
6. "Only Love Can Hurt Like This" - Paloma Faith
7. "Nobody To Love" - Sigma
8. "Love Never Felt So Good" - Michael Jackson
9. "Calm After The Storm" - The Common Linnets
10. "Fancy" - Iggy Azalea feat. Charli XCX

US Chart Roundup: "Happy" Days Are Over

I can't even believe John Legend's boring piano trash "All Of Me" is the song that dethrones Pharrell's "Happy" after 10 weeks. Hopefully that particular sleep aid fucks off by next week in the wake of the rapid rise of Ariana Grande's saxy "Problem," which has to settle for a #3 debut. Still, "Problem" goes in with 438,000 downloads sold — the eighth largest debut for a digital single.

Elsewhere, Calvin Harris' "Summer" stays at #18 for a second week while Michael Jackson and Justin Timberlake's "Love Never Felt So Good" goes in at #20 after only three days on sale, and 80,000 downloads sold.



Everything feels like Satan's kisses right now.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "All Of Me" - John Legend *1 week*
2. "Happy" - Pharrell Williams
3. "Problem" - Ariana Grande feat. Iggy Azalea *new*
4. "Fancy" - Iggy Azalea feat. Charli XCX
5. "Dark Horse" - Katy Perry feat. Juicy J
6. "Talk Dirty" - Jason Derulo feat. 2 Chain
7. "Turn Down For What" - DJ Snake & Lil Jon
8. "Not A Bad Thing" - Justin Timberlake
9. "Let It Go" - Idina Menzel
10. "Pompeii" - Bastille

UK Chart Roundup: Calvin Harris Shirtless Stuff

Unsurprisingly, Calvin Harris' latest single "Summer" hops straight in at the top of the UK chart. It's his sixth #1 there altogether. It's Harris' 10th consecutive Top 10 hit, and also his second consecutive #1, following "Under Control."

But, really — the important thing...

The UK Top 10:

1. "Summer" - Calvin Harris *new* *1 week*
2. "Waves (Robin Shulz Remix)" - Mr Probz
3. "Hideaway" - Kiesza
4. "Nobody To Love" - Sigma
5. "All Of Me" - John Legend
6. "Take Me Home" - Cash Cash feat. Bebe Rexha
7. "Stay High (Habits Remix)" - Tove Lo feat. Hippie Sabotage
8. "Touch" - Shift K3Y
9. "Fancy" - Iggy Azalea feat. Charli XCX
10. "Loyal" - Chris Brown feat. Lil Wayne & Tyga

US Chart Roundup: Calvin Harris Has Another Top 40 Hit In America

Iggy Azalea and Charli XCX's sassy broad-pop trash "Fancy" flies up to #7 on the Billboard Hot 100 this week, giving Iggy her first US Top 10 hit and Charli her second (following her feature on Icona Pop's "I Love It"). Over on the album chart, Azalea's The New Classic fared so-so, coming in behind the Frozen soundtrack, now in its 12th week at #1, and Future's Honest at #2.

Back on the Hot 100, Calvin Harris lands his fifth Top 40 single with "Summer," which climbs to #26. Crazy stuff when you take the time to think that seven years ago right around this time, Calvin was most famous for being plucked off MySpace to work on Kylie Minogue's then-upcoming 10th album X.

At any rate, Harris' UK dance-pop contemporary Naughty Boy does one better by jumping from #26 to #19 with "La La La."

And that, folks, is how it goes.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Happy" - Pharrell Williams *10 weeks*
2. "All Of Me" - John Legend
3. "Dark Horse" - Katy Perry feat. Juicy J
4. "Talk Dirty" - Jason Derulo feat. 2 Chainz
5. "Turn Down For What" - DJ Snake & Lil Jon
6. "Let It Go" - Idina Menzel
7. "Fancy" - Iggy Azalea feat. Charli XCX
8. "Pompeii" - Bastille
9. "Not A Bad Thing" - Justin Timberlake
10. "Loyal" - Chris Brown feat. Lil Wayne & French Montana