TulipGirl

Today I came across this facinating article about The Chemistry of Attachment, by Linda F. Palmer. My mother was asking me more about Reactive Attachment Disorder this week, and this article touches on the oxcytocin/cortisol impact on infant brain development. The wonderful way God has designed mothers and babies continually amazes me.

Here are some quotes from the article, of the creative chemicals that connect us.

Oxcytocin

Under the early influence of oxytocin, nerve junctions in certain areas of mother’s brain actually undergo reorganization, thereby making her maternal behaviors “hard-wired.”

Persistent regular body contact and other nurturing acts by parents produce a constant, elevated level of oxytocin in the infant, which in turn provides a valuable reduction in the infant’s stress-hormone responses. . . the resulting high or low level of oxytocin will control the permanent organization of the stress-handling portion of the baby’s brain-promoting lasting “securely attached” or “insecure” characteristics in the adolescent and adult.

When an infant does not receive regular oxytocin-producing responsive care, the resultant stress responses cause elevated levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Chronic cortisol elevations in infants . . .are shown in biochemical studies to be associated with permanent brain changes that lead to elevated responses to stress throughout life,

Vasopressin

Released in response to nearness and touch, vasopressin promotes bonding between the father and the mother, helps the father recognize and bond to his baby. . . It has gained a reputation as the “monogamy hormone.”

Prolactin

. . .prolactin is released in response to suckling, promoting milk production as well as maternal behaviors. Prolactin relaxes mother. . . so she has no strong desire to hop up and do other things.

Opioids

Babies need milk, and opioids are nature’s reward to them for obtaining it. . . The first few episodes of sucking organize nerve pathways in the newborn’s brain, conditioning her to continue this activity.

Prolonged elevation of prolactin in the attached parent stimulates the opioid system, heightening the rewards for intimate, loving family relationships. . .

Once a strong opioid bonding has occurred, separation can become emotionally upsetting, and in the infant possibly even physically uncomfortable when opioid levels decrease in the brain, much like the withdrawal symptoms from cocaine or heroin. When opioid levels become low, one might feel like going home to hold the baby or like crying for a parent’s warm embrace. . .

Norepinephrine

Norepinephrine helps organize the infant’s stress control system

Pheromones

Newborns are much more sensitive to pheromones than adults. . . . Through these, baby most likely learns how to perceive the level of stress in the caretakers around her, such as when mother is experiencing fear or joy. . . .body odors and pheromones can only be sensed when people are physically very near each other.

Congratulations to Daniel and Amy!
Happy Birthday, Isaac Daniel!

I just read a moving letter about a short-term medical team that spent 13 days in Bam, Iran. Because the Islamic government restricts evangelism, the team worked at showing mercy and “preaching the Gospel” without words.

“. . .one of my responsibilities was to counsel people that were going through severe grief from their loss of family members. And as a Christian, I would normally find out what had transpired, share the gospel where appropriate, read a portion of Scripture and pray with the family member. But most of those resources were not available options. However, God provided other resources as I was soon to find out. One of the first persons that I was asked to meet with was a woman who had lost 9 of her 12 children in the quake, and another 150 extended family members. What do I do — what do I say? I learned from one of our translators that the book of Job was included in the Koran

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I love my hubby. And I guess it shows. . .

Evangelical Outpost said we’re one of his Favorite Husband and Wife Blogs, along with Jeremy and Samantha.

If you haven’t yet, you simply must visit Monergism.Com, for great theology and Bible study resources.

James Taranto of the Opinion Journal theorizes that Dean has fared poorly in the Iowa and New Hampshire primaries because of Roe v. Wade. Dean’s strongest support is among 18-to-29-year-olds. Not only did this demographic fail to show up at the polls, about one-third failed to show up at birth.

Read the rest of the story here.

This afternoon, T6 was looking through the book, You Can Change the World–it’s the kids version of Operation World.

He said, “Mom, I think there are some countries missing. Iraq isn’t in here–and we need to pray for Iraq.”

If you were here now you would almost feel Iraq bleeding from its wounds. You would almost see the palm trees weeping and shedding tears. You would almost hear the two rivers murmuring and moaning in pain. You would almost hear Baghdad wailing and crying for help. You would smell the tension in the air which even rain is unable to wash away. You would sense the years of deprivation and negligence in its soil. Who is trying to steal the smile from its weary face? Who is going to heal Iraq? Who is going to help it stand on its feet? And is this going to be the end to all its sorrows or is there more?
from Healing Iraq

(via Marsupial Mom)

So much of life here is different from anywhere I grew up. One of my purposes in starting to blog was to have a place where I have all the little stories about life collected in one place, for later years and especially for the boys.

Today I came across Notes from Kiev, which are the collected impressions of a former Peace Corps worker. His blog tends to focus on anecdotal economic indicators, and reflects some of the thoughts I’ve had.

I never read the Business section of the newspaper when we lived in the States, but it is the first section I turn to in the English-language Kyiv Post.

We’ve all heard discussions about JRR Tolkien’s intent in writing Lord of the Rings, and we’ve all heard he never meant to have it allegorized.

But now, the truth comes out. . . Matthew Baldwin has deconstructed LOTR and has discovered it’s all about pregnancy. For instance:

But only one person is the appointed bearer. And that poor sap has to carry the burden the entire way, a burden that just gets heavier and heavier as the weeks wear on. The bearer gets increasingly tired and cranky as they approach their destination — and who can blame them? Their good-for-nothing companion doesn’t do anything useful, except flit about and say things like “jeeze, I wish I could carry the burden for a while!” and occasionally fight off an enormous spider and/or fetch chocolate ice cream. . . .

When people see the One Ring they feel an almost irresistible urge to reach out and grab it; likewise, strangers in the supermarket are seemingly compelled to reach out and touch The Queen’s belly.

(Via MamaMusings)

I just got word that Patty McLaughlin’s new book has been released, Different But Equal : Adoption Education and Preparation Manual.

We were blessed to know the McLaughlin family when we lived in Florida, and were treated to some of the Chinese cooking they brought home with them, along with their daughters.

If you are considering adoption, I encourage you to order this manual. Patty has been a great encourager to me, both when we lived nearby and even now through e-mail. I’m sure you will be blessed by the information she has gathered on preparing for adoption.

(Oh, and it is her oldest son who is responsible for the Courtship Pick-Up Lines Hubby posted. . .)

This morning, Hubby and the boys were watching Homestar Runner clips (thanks to Tim for hooking us on Homestar Runner, months ago. . .)

They noticed a new link. . . Hmmm. . . A Trogdor the Burninator game!

They’ve been playing it this morning and singing Trogdor the Burninator, burninating the peasants!

Boys.

Speaking of Tim. . .

Please update your links and bookmarks to the new-and-improved TimBerglund.Com. Glad to see you settling in at your new URL, Tim.

Ask parents, “Who most influences your teen’s sexual decisions?” and they say their kids’ friends or the media.

Ask teens who’s most influential and their No. 1 answer is:
“My parents.”

Teenagers “may fuss or stare out the window when you discuss sex, but even the poorest kids in the most chaotic environment said their parents are very influential,” Brown says.

Ironically, “the more parents talk about sexual health, the less sex kids have,” Juzang adds.

From Donna Britt’s “Stats on Teens Don’t Tell the Whole Story”
Also check out TRW’s and LaShawn Barber’s posts on Sex Ed

What is RAD?

RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) is a psychological and neurological. . . disorder that occurs during the first two years of life when a child does not attach and bond properly to their primary caregiver. Fundamental processes do not occur resulting in on-going rage, fear of attaching to anyone, lack of trust, an unusual effort to control everything in their lives, a lack of self worth, and an inability to fully comprehend cause and effect.

Today I heard from a friend whose son has RAD. Her son and J7, my oldest son, are roughly the same age. We both used Gary Ezzo’s “Preparation for Parenting” materials, as they were written and intended. We both love our children dearly and are devoted to them.

J7 was diagnosed with Failure to Thrive at six months old. J7 is still a little small for his age, but well within “average” and quite normal considering our family genetics. It took several years before my friend had an accurate diagnosis for her son’s RAD. She shares about the evaluations her son went through, and how it linked back directly to her well-intentioned use of Ezzo’s materials.

During these interviews and evaluations, they began to see what I had suspected all along. Finally, they asked me if his infancy might have been traumatic in any fashion, medically, emotionally or if he’d suffered abuse.

I froze. I had already been learning about the problems in the Ezzo materials. I had already done enough of my own research to know that extensive use of “crying it out” could cause major damage. And I began to talk and talk and cry and told about how we had implemented Ezzo methods with him.

The first question to me, after talking about the program was “do you think that during the times he was left to cry, that at any point he may have felt abandoned or hopeless?” I said “of course, I never thought it could hurt a baby, but now that I’m learning more, I know it can and I know he must have felt terribly afraid and alone.”

My friend has worked hard at re-forming bonds with her son, and he has had a period of gains. But recently he has had some severe setbacks, and my friend is having struggles that no mama should have to go through with a child who is so dearly loved.

Reality is, the medical and developmental information in Gary Ezzo’s parenting materials is severely flawed. His theories spring from personal opinion, not the Bible and definitely not medical fact. When parents make decisions based on inaccurate medical information, they are setting themselves up for medical problems.

Even when those choices are bathed in parental love and good intentions.

EO shares the happy news–the new and improved Beta Technorati is up and running!

Also, after being down for ages, Blog Tree is back up and stable.

Earliest Memory. I have two: wailing and clinging to my mother at nursery school (which was located in our Congregational church) and sitting on my maternal grandmother’s lap, reading cloth Bible books.
– the 100th Sheep

Oh, what a poignant illustration of why we need to think through family worship and how to include our children in corporate worship.

We are spreading a virus from my husband’s work address. If you received a Christmas e-mail from us last month, you may have received an infected e-mail from us this week. I’m sorry!

We rec’d and opened the virus THREE TIMES because it appeared to be a legit e-mail attachment from someone we knew. *groan*

As soon as we realized what was going on, we deleted our address book completely (along with the virus.) We’re taking further steps to irradicate it.

We haven’t had any computer or system problems other than passing it along.

The most common incarnation is an e-mail from “maureen k” with the subject “Peter Pan” and the attachment daily03.pdf.pif . Another variation has a subject line of “Security Alert” or “Contact List.” The attachment may be named Board_Meeting2004.doc.scr .

This virus is marked by the suffix .pif or .scr .

I’m so sorry.

Update:The virus has been identified as W32.Bugbear.B@mm . According to the computer guy at the office, It can be removed by following these instructions.

In Memorial: The Blackmun Wall

Women killed by legal abortion.

While this troublesome trend is apparent in the culture at large, it is even more disturbing when it makes headway in the Church. Superfluparents is how Joanne diagnoses the problem she sees in many churches, including her own.

The condition is characterized by a gradual decline in parental authority, a deterioration of the family unit as socialization vehicle, the slow give away of each aspect of the child’s life to someone/someplace else. Advanced stages of the disease are shown by children who care more about peers than parents, parents whose “dealing with children” muscles have atrophied due to lack of use. . .

God has called us to worship corporately, as families. He has made our children part of His Covenant. Why does it seem the Church so often rushes to exclude them from worship, in the guise of “ministering” to these little ones?

Beal Heights PCA’s Infants and Children and the Word of God offers a positive approach that helps families worship together, meets the needs and noises of little ones, and provides for guests.

And for the practical side of corporate worship with very small children, Jeri has some great ideas.

Update: Marsupial Mom adds to this discussion.