03.15.2012 It Costs Jennifer Aniston 141K a Year to Look This Good

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According to a website called Shine via New York Post, it costs a shit-ton of cash to still not compare to Angelina Jolie:

Jennifer Aniston was recently dubbed the “Hottest Woman of All Time” by Men’s Health magazine but, according to a new report, the “Wanderlust” spends $141, 037 a year maintaining her appearance.

Sure you could say the math in that article doesn’t in any way add up to $141,000, or even that I deliberately picked shots of her not looking her best. And you would be right on both accounts, but how is any of that is ever going make Brad Pitt forget that her vagina is a dusty chamber of sadness from which only Gerard Butler and he have escaped only to be driven directly to that succubus whore?


(Image Source = Getty, Pacific Coast News)

(17) Comments

  1. Finkle Who 03/15/2012 14:38

    First, dicknoses!

  2. SomeoneluvsU 03/15/2012 14:38

    I’ll apply a special cream to her face that won’t cost her anything…
    except maybe some dignity,
    but she’s given most of that up long, long ago.

  3. SomeoneluvsU 03/15/2012 14:42

    If she is 43 now,
    I wonder what her annual operating costs will be when she hits 50?

  4. iSlomoshun 03/15/2012 14:42

    While in one hand I would fuck the ever living shit out of this woman, the other hand makes me sick…sick that there are children and families living on the streets in America and this cunt spends double my yearly salary on maintaining her beauty.

    How fucking twisted is this world. I’m not a believer of God or the 2012 Mayan shit..but fuck I wish one of the two would just reset this fucking shit hole.

  5. SomeoneluvsU 03/15/2012 14:48

    In all fairness….
    Dusty chamber of sadness made me laugh

  6. jaxtheripper 03/15/2012 14:57

    Angelina Jolie is a fucking untalented skeleton…her movies suck almost as much as the succubus that has sucked the hotness right out of her body and turned her into Skeletor.

  7. B A Baracus 03/15/2012 15:03

    Where does Beppo stand on this use of money? How much could we save if she were sent to the ovens?

  8. Observer 03/15/2012 15:14

    SomeoneluvsU………@14:42….

    ….Present value of a future cash outflow…?

  9. Observer 03/15/2012 15:18

    Annual earnings according to Forbes:

    2010 – 2011 Earnings: $28 million
    2009 – 2010 Earnings: $27 million
    2008 – 2009 Earnings: $25 million
    2007 – 2008 Earnings: $27 million

    In 2007, Forbes ranked Aniston at #10 as one of the top 20 richest women in entertainment with a net worth of $110 million.

    141 K per year would appear to be a conservative investment on her part…..

  10. Observer 03/15/2012 15:24

    Personally……I’d STILL introduce my Mr Happy to her dusty chamber of sadness……

    …..anyday..

  11. Observer 03/15/2012 15:28

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2114414/Jennifer-Anistons-monthly-beauty-broken-down.html

    One neck ointment she uses, by beauty brand Euoko, is allegedly made with crystals from the planet Mars …….

    ……Mr. Poop…..Martian Crystals…!!!

    …just IMAGINE what she could do with something from Uranus

  12. Finkle Who 03/15/2012 15:30

    Sure, Obs can amortize…

    But can he stir mac and cheese?

  13. SomeoneluvsU 03/15/2012 15:32

    Observer,
    I think the correct formula of her worth will be…
    Future Cash outflows to look good
    Plus volume of semen inflow from random Hollywood hunk types
    Less the time value of Brad Pitt whining time
    Discounted by number of naked hacked cell phone pics released.

  14. Observer 03/15/2012 15:34

    SomeoneluvsU…….@15:32……

    ….nice balance of outflows and required inflows…..

    I HOPE we get the hacked phone shots soon………I’m sure those potions she uses are not magic….

  15. QueerWithaGun 03/15/2012 16:36

    Jesus, who knew it cost money to puke up everything you eat?

  16. russell2000x 03/15/2012 17:08

    even with that old asshole writer gone this site still has clear vendettas against specific people. Like seriously, Jennifer Aniston isn’t good looking? Are you guys fucking retarded? Just because she didn’t answer an email or wouldn’t talk to you in public doesn’t mean you have to be so blatantly biased - it just makes you look retarded when you constantly bash the same people for no apparent reason. Aniston is 39205X hotter than any girl you have ever talked to - get a life fuckface

  17. snc 03/15/2012 17:22

    “….. from which only Gerard Butler and he have escaped only to be driven directly to that succubus whore?” This is barely English.

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