Yo dudes,
I just got a comment on my last post, and it was question for me:
"I have a question for you: you as a bisexual guy and a pornor consumor, belive in the gay-for-pay pornstars or belive the they are bisexual?"
HMMMM, good question dude. To be honest, I don't know. If there is one thing I have learned in all of my years on this earth, especially in the last few years of experimenting, sexuality is anything but black and white. Through this blog, and through my sexual exploits, I've met so many varying degrees of homosexual men. Some swear they are totally gay, and even the thought of a vagina makes their manhood shrivel up. Some say the like both dick and vagina, but in fact the really only like dick. Some in fact do like both dick and vagina. Then of course there are straight people who swear they would never touch a member of the same sex. I am a firm believer that everyone's sexuality is completely unique, and who am I to tell them what they like and don't like?
Is a guy in a gay for pay porn video actually bi? It is a definite possibility, I mean hard dicks are kind of hard to fake, but then again, whats to say there aren't some sluts on set to blow this gay for pay actor every few minutes to keep him hard?
In my opinion, the bottom line here is a person's sexuality is no one's business but their own. Yes, I am guilty myself of suspecting a couple of guys are gay or at least bi, but that is not for me to really know, and it is definitely not for me to spread around to other people. Outing someone is definitely something I do not tolerate. A person's sexuality is extremely complicated, and society as a whole is simply not ready for people to be totally open with their sexualities. Yes, some parts of society are ok with a more complicated sexuality, but lets be honest, we live in an extremely judgmental world, and some people, myself included are not ready to face the reality of that.
I'm not perfect, I never claimed to be. I simply write what I feel, and hope that you all like what I'm saying. Even if you disagree with me, I enjoy hearing different points of view as long as they are civil counterpoints and not just verbal assaults and attacks on my character.
Welp, thats about all I got for you guys. As for the question, I hope I answered it. I know I kind of went off on a tangent, but I believe I got my general point of view across.
AA: In a nutshell, your attitude is "live and let live" approach -- people can do as they like without judgment. That's fine as a personal philosophy and I tend to follow that myself. Where it gets complicated though is when you are in a relationship with someone and thus their is more than you, there is an "us" involved. At what point should you disclose your sexuality to your partner?
ReplyDeleteThis is the difficult issue for yourself, besides the fact that you are bi, which is not always acceptable to all members of society. I think I can live without society's approval since that is a nebulous concept, but when you start fooling your loved ones, that's when you have to ask yourself, who or what are you afraid of?
You seem to want to live honestly but you are not secure enough to truly be yourself. What will take for your to be comfortable embracing your sexual identity? Does your GF have to give you explicit signals that she will be accepting before you come out?
Are your parents happy you are acting straight? That was not an attack. I'm just curious how your parents reacted. You said you came out of the closet, then you basically went back into the closet. Do you think you would have tried harder to find a man if you had informed your friends and brother? Just curious, you are the first person I've read that came out then when right back to the same relationship you had when you started this journey. Hope you answer. I just wander have they questioned this, like you must have?
ReplyDeleteYou are a fascinating individual, i'll give you that. while it would be easy for me to criticise or admonish you, i honestly can't say i'd do differently if i was in your shoes and had the same situations occur.
ReplyDeletei kind of agree with fan of, though. when your sexuality involves other people, then it really is more than just your own business. i don't want to be one to wag my finger at you, but i just kind of worry that some uncomfortable or otherwise bad situations could occur if your girl or others close to you are unaware of everything you feel sexually. (and yes, i say that as someone who once had a lover find my favorite straight and gay porn bookmarks. )
Just take care of yourself, be honest with yourself, and hey, have a wonderful summer.
I completely agree with this and hope you're dong well man!
ReplyDeleteI think bi's have a very hard time because straights fear that bi's are really gay and gays feel that bi's are just experimenting and will go back in the closet. As The Fresh Prince said, "People (parents actually) just don't understand!"
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to sex, everyone has a choice to have it or not, unless in prison. Some of the gayest friends I have had numerous sexual relationships with women. This always shocked me and I couldn't understand how they could do it but I learned I didn't have to understand, just accept.
When it comes to gay-for-pay, you can tell who's in it just for the money and those who are just sexual or sex addicts. That's also the difference between good porn and bad porn.
Living as a bisexual is one of the hardest things a person can do. You are pulled in all kinds of directions. Firs, who you are, then should you tell friends/family, then should you tell a partner, especially if it is a female. What are you willing to put on the line, and on and on. These kind of things make it hard for me because I know some people will judge my manhood, and everything else, and some will be cool, but you may not know witch is witch until it is too late. I feel your pain.
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