The photo (see below) was meant to draw attention to the serious topic of men who are abused within intimate relationships in the UK (see link, below). Unfortunately, it has raised the obvious question: for a man, does being abused feel like having your dick cut off? And so denuded, are we like Superman in a kryptonite shower? Seriously, this need by men to ‘compete’ with women on this most sensitive of topics is gross, misleading, and immoral. You need to rock up to the morgue, to the emergency department at your local hospital, or to any women’s shelter or support service, to know the indefatigable truth: violence within intimate relationships remains horribly skewed, male against female. Many men do not like this sobering reality, many will not accept it. Creating a big lie to try and nullify male violence against women and children by putting men on an ‘equal footing’ when it comes to being abused, is pretty sick stuff. The unintended consequence of this grisly photo is that it reinforces the masculine ideal that men can never be physically overcome, since to be male is to be aggressive, and to lose out to a woman is equivalent to emasculation…
Male Domestic Violence Awareness Week
I just found this blog a few weeks ago and I’m impressed by it. I’m a feminist, and I think you do a fantastic job of writing about issues that effect men without turning it into Oppression Olympics. You’ve really demonstrated how gender roles negatively effect everyone involved.
Many thanks for your kind words. Current, dominant constructions of masculinity cause a great deal of trouble for men, women, and children. I don’t see any point in men crying ‘victim’, as has become the mantra for a large part of the so-called, ‘men’s movement’. We need to take responsibility for our acts, and our omissions. Chief amongst those is that men must reject violence in all its forms. It hurts us, it hurts people we love and care for, and it hurts people we do not even know.