Gender Differences in Perceptions of Action and Aggression…
Weaver, J., Vandello, J., Bosson, J., & Burnaford, R. (2009). The Proof is in the Punch: Gender Differences in Perceptions of Action and Aggression as Components of Manhood Sex Roles, 62 (3-4), 241-251 DOI: 10.1007/s11199-009-9713-6
I read on the Australian version of the AskMen website (au.askmen.com) today an article on men and emotions.
Tongue in cheek or foot in arse, whatever the motivation, it gave this bleak throwback view that men must keep their emotions in check. For example, that a man should only show sadness under the ‘gravest of circumstances’. Having worked therapeutically with many men who have been deeply troubled by cultural practices which impinge upon their fundamental right ‘to be’, I say we need to stop this arrant nonsense that somehow, restricted emotionality is ‘manly’. Or should I stress, that restricted emotionality is manly with the exception of aggression, which real men are meant to spread around with gay abandon. In this article by Weaver et al. (2009), they confirm that ‘physical aggression’ remains synonymous with manhood. And that many men feel that they must be ready to defend themselves with violence to keep their manhood intact. I know, this is the 21st century, right…?
Stop Censorship
Yes, it is the 21st Century and gender roles have barely changed for men since time immorial. It is still men who exlcusively fight on the fontlines in war and mainly men who have to take the risks of rejection in relationships, work in the most hazardous and health-diminishing jobs on earth, be the main breadwinner in families and design then enforce the laws. Aggression is an imperative for many aspects of manhood and masculinity. Whether it be to separate a fight, go downstairs to see what the noise is, fly a plane with a tracking bomb following it or any number of actions men are expected to do for society; the suspension of emotions and use of aggression is necessary, in some contexts, to be effective – while in others it is necessary for survival.
Social construction notions of re-inventing masculinity is fine for those who face no risk of ever having to be in the above mentioned contexts. But please spare those that do ideological feminist diatribe. It is insulting.
Sadly, many men confuse strength with aggression and violence, wrongly believing that to be a ‘real man’ is to be aggressive, or violent. That is total rubbish. We are not living in the cave any more; we are living in a sophisticated, civilised society. Some of the best examples of strength that I have ever seen are men who have turned their lives around and rejected further hurting the people who they love and care for.