Reparative Therapy Can Cure Homosexuality…
Karten, E., & Wade, J. (2010). Sexual Orientation Change Efforts in Men: A Client Perspective The Journal of Men’s Studies, 18 (1), 84-102 DOI: 10.3149/jms.1801.84
Karten and Wade (2010) discuss the conflict that exists within the minds of some men who hold deep religious beliefs and same-sex attraction. While the clinical world (psychiatry, psychology, etc.) has over the past 30 years or so given mixed messages about reparative therapy, the evidence emphatically states that it is intrinsically harmful. That reality has not stopped some men seeking out clinical and other support to try to transform their homosexuality into heterosexuality. This is highly contentious stuff, I would argue as implausible as wanting to transform the colour of your skin or any other immutable human characteristic. That said, on average, the participants in Karten and Wade’s (2010) research study reported that after their sexual orientation change efforts (SOCE), they had experienced ‘a decrease in homosexual feelings and behavior, an increase in heterosexual feelings and behavior, and a positive change in their psychological functioning (p.97)’. So, reparative therapy might work after all? I think not. We can truly want to change a characteristic of who we are if we have had it beaten into our heads that that characteristic is wrong. Reparative therapy, by whatever name, merely intensifies the sense of shame that many gay men are forced to endure because of the homophobia rampant in religion and elsewhere. Marsha Linehan uses the term ‘radical acceptance’ to describe one of the core therapeutic principles of her dialectical behaviour model of therapy, and that term springs to my mind here. Gay men must come to accept that no god, no therapy, no drugs or anything else for that matter can make that pure and loving desire they have for other gay men, go away.
Update: It would seem that the ex-gay movement is having its presence felt in Ireland, the home of my ancestors (see link, below).
http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/im-gay-and-these-people-claim-they-can-cure-me-2082448.html
Stop Censorship
Wow, great article but incredibly (understatement) misleading title.
The authors of this article concede that their sample consisted of mostly deeply religious men who truly wanted to change their sexual orientation. And for those men at least, they truly wanted to believe that they could indeed change their sexual orientation. I would challenge the possibility of such a pursuit, given that our sexuality is a fixed feature of who we are, not something we can transform via a weekend men’s camp.
Oh, dear! This is a terrible analysis on your part!
Why, heavens to BETSY! If the sick lifestyle of the hetero can be cured, why wouldn’t we? I mean they go about having unwanted children, drinking booze, smoking, doing drugs, selling their children off, beating and killing them, divorcing each other–who wouldn’t recognize the suffering of the poor hetero?
Besides, heterosexuality on an overpopulated planet is a psychosocial disorder! Please don’t take away the hope of straight men everywhere that they CAN live normal, happy, gay lives! (Let alone women can be freed up of the obnoxiousness of men to a more relaxed, proactive lesbian fulfillment!)
I have learnt from this article that if you wish hard enough for something it can become true, no matter how fantastic that wish might be. I had not realised until now that the ‘Wizard of Oz’ would become the grand narrative of reparative therapy.
Interesting. I didn’t read the article, but I’m a bit confused about your commentary. From your post, it seems like the article reports changes, but then you’re saying that those changes reported are not valid. Is this based on a personal conviction on your part, or can you point to specific shortcomings in the study that invalidate its results?
The authors note that the men in their research study had, ‘on average’, believed that they had straightened up and were all the better for it. I would contest the proposition as a matter of fact, that our sexuality can be so readily amenable to weekend camps away with other men, counselling or mentoring. Given that we can believe anything we want, I would be cautious in ascribing validity to a set of results that were completely belief driven.
I agree with you that any study relying on self report should be considered in light of its limitations. However, I’m still uncomfortable with your analysis because you seem to be starting from the proposition that sexuality is immutable, and disqualifying the study from there. Don’t get me wrong, when I debate this subject, I’m usually debating from the other side against the “Gay is a choice” crowd, but it seems to me that it’s equally sloppy science to start from the opposite conclusion. True, you can’t change your sexuality with the flip of a switch, but there’s plenty of reports of sexuality evolving over the lifespan. To discredit those reports, you’d have to label all the people who participated in this study as sorely misguided or liars. We can’t rule out that possibility, but it seems somewhat patronizing and/or disrespectful to assume that right off the bat. I’m not saying that you’re wrong, just that I think data should be treated as data without any of the politics or emotional baggage. Perhaps you’re basing your view on previous studies that I don’t know about, in which case, I’d love to hear about them.
Can you change your sexuality? I think that people can change how they choose to express their sexuality but that it is pretty much a fixed characteristic. I have worked therapeutically with hundreds of gay men over the years, and all had been aware that they were gay since adolescence or earlier. That some felt obliged to bury their sexuality deep inside because of external pressures, exemplifies the tensions of which I speak. The pressure put upon all men, straight or gay, to conform to hetero-normative masculine ideals, is enormous. And that pressure commences as soon as a male child is born, what Pollack (1998) refers to as a ‘shame hardening process’. Before they have hit kindergarten, boys well know that the worst thing in the world they could ever be is a fag. They grow up surrounded by homophobia at school, at home, and in church. Reparative therapy, played out through religious dogma, is nothing more than poorly disguised homophobia. There is no evidence to support the claims by the ex-gay movement and others that it works. It does not. It is a complete, unmitigated failure. However, it does traumatise already vulnerable individuals. I am left wondering why is it that after decades of trying without success, some psychologists, psychiatrists, academics, and others remain hell-bent on proving that homosexuality can be cured. Like any ‘experiment’, the ethics of deliberately causing harm to people to whom we owe a duty of care should be our first and foremost consideration.
PS–for the sadly literal minded, the above was a bit tongue in cheek. Sorta. I mean, yes, gosh darn it, I’m a queer. Tho rather disinterested in the whole notion of men anyway. They’re bloody tiresome. And yes, if more people were queer, it would be a LOVELY way to help reduce the earth’s population! But not to worry–I mean, really. Some of my best friends are straight! (Yes, tongue is back in cheek again.) (I just can’t help riffing on the psycho fundies who like to castigate being gay as a “lifestyle” issue. Someone should get them to read Biological Exuberance.)
Last weekend was the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras Parade here in Sydney. A great symbol of diversity. However, behind the scenes, that parade remains a magnet for homophobic men to come into town for no other reason than to kick gay heads. We have achieved so much in terms of GLBTI rights in Australia, as in many other countries around the world. Reparative therapy demonstrates, however, that the struggle is far from over. That therapy is nothing less than a form of torture. I can well understand that religious fundamentalists would advocate for its use. I am bewildered that so many academics, clinicians and others who would claim to possess common sense, have jumped aboard this ideologically motivated band wagon.
Some people’s biggest wish is for a type of treatment to be found, I didn’t say cure because some gays are happy with it. In my case I’am 27yo men and got homosexual feelings and attractions and it’s tearing my life apart to the point that I can’t function properly, that has been going five years that I have been trying to rid myself of these feelings because I want a wife and a family and I want to be sexually attracted to her more than anything. So if there was a pill to take or a any sort of treatment to have I would take it straight away and be able to live to my dreams. Am atheist so I am not religiously motivated at all but being gay just isn’t for me, this is why I never had sex or dated with the same gender. I will keep trying to rid myself of these feelings/attractions till my last breath. I just lost my girlfriend of 3 years who I love to bits over these feelings, I wanted to marry her more than anything but sadly I couldn’t just switch off those feelings and be dishonest to her. We ‘d be back together and living what we both want more than anything if it wasn’t for that. Thousands are in my case but we are being denied any sort of help by gay activism stopping any light of hope from research for the ones who suffer from it, Now is that fair???
I did not come out until I was in my mid 30s. I had fought so long and so hard to be straight. Getting on well with women, no problem. The sex, fantastic. But deep within I always knew that I was living a lie. Like you, I would have done anything to turn my sexuality around. I was deeply ashamed of who I was. Only when it came to the point of getting married and enforcing my lie upon my prospective wife and later, any children who might come along, did I stop and say ‘no more’. Now I realise that my sexuality is not a choice but innate, and the self-loathing that I experienced was a product of all the shite about homosexuality that exists out there. All the hateful bigots and their dirty lies and their pseudo science that has no validity. I think that ‘acceptance’ is a really useful tool in overcoming that history of rubbish that gay men grow up with: accepting our own sexuality, accepting that hateful bigots will never like us, and accepting that like any cultural minority, our struggle to achieve equality takes time and persistence. Those Christian freaks and dodgy scientists who tell us that they are on their way to finding a ‘cure’ for homosexuality are dirty filthy liars, craven and manipulative bastards. How you choose to navigate your way through life is, of course, entirely up to you, but I hope that you find happiness, peace, and love.
Been there, done that. I spent 8 years in an ex-gay ministry trying desperately not to be gay anymore. I got mad whenever anyone told me I should just accept being gay, or that change was impossible. But, it was impossible. Not just for me but for every other “ex-gay” I’ve ever met. Despite my firm conviction that “I can never be happy being gay” I am much happier now that I’ve stopped banging my head into a brick wall. The problem isn’t gay activists stopping a real cure, the problem is that the “reparative therapists” and “ex-gay ministries” are offering snake oil to desparate people-a cure that doesn’t work for a condition that’s not a disease.
I only found out years later that the counsellor I saw when I was coming out was (according to him, inadvertently) caught up in the ex-gay movement. The pervasive influence of that movement cannot be underestimated. I am sorry that you had to spend eight years with those freaks but relieved that you are now happy, accepting who you are.
I am a Catholic, and a somewhat half-hearted one. I am also gay. So I totally relate to the conflict. But even if I wasn’t, there would still be conflict, because I want children. I want to be fit in society, and not feel the odd man out. At least I am not married. I can’t say thinking about therapy has never occurred to me. Despite never being able to afford it, I doubt it works, and it means spending more energy on my short life for a doubtful and probably destructive result, instead of enjoying who I am. I don’t relate well to gay society either, like so many gays don’t. We despise so called ‘gay-culture’. We can be just who we are. Which seems the noblest and safest thing to be. And so it is. But it doesn’t mean our lives will stop being hard. Or lonely.
Big hugs to all the GLBTs who have posted! We’ve got the power!