Friday, May 11, 2007

YOU TALKING TO ME??????



Fil at Pogo A Go-Go was the first person I saw have this little bit of fun.

Then it ended up with Crash at PLILAS.

And because Crash didn't want to be Johnny no-mates that he couldn't pass the chain onto, and I'm an all-round nice guy, I volunteered to be next.

Q1. Alerius C of Tralfamadore likes the cut of your jib, and empowers you to revisit specific live performances of five songs whenever you choose. What five performances do you choose, and why?

How joyous to find that someone at last, after almost 44 years on this planet, likes the cut of my jib.

I have no idea how many live gigs I’ve been to since 1979 – and lord knows how many live acts I’ve seen. I could go through the record collection and work part of it out, but for every one of them, there will probably be two acts that I’ve never bought any records by.

But enough of the gibberish – it’s time to face up to the question.

(a) Joe Jackson – Is She Really Going Out With Him?

Glasgow Tiffany’s 1980. Joe had enjoyed his chart success and was about to enter into a few years of oblivion before Stepping Out went Top3. The venue was maybe 70% full and I got right down near the front for the first time in my life. This song was the encore – and Joe turned into a masterpiece that lasted the best part of 10 minutes, starting it off as a piano-led ballad before bit by bit the rest of the band (who had been in top form all night) joined in. By the end it was an angry rant keeping in spirit with the true meaning of the song.

(b) Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – The Curse of Millhaven

Glasgow Barrowlands 2001. Mrs Villain’s favourite Bad Seeds number and one neither of us thought we’d ever see live. Another one kept for the encore and so rare in the live canon that Nick needed idiot boards to get all the words correct. The band thrashed away and Nick ranted and raved about murders and Prozac. A few weeks later he did the same again in Lyon, France and the results can be seen on the live DVD , God Is In The House. But being there in Glasgow was even better.

(c) Paul Quinn & the Independent Group– Will I Ever Be Inside Of You?

Glasgow Film Theatre - September 1995. A one-off gig in a cinema. the band played as movie montages unfolded behind them. A quite incredible night topped-off when a singer from Scottish Opera hotfooted it from her performance on stage some 500 yards around the corner and provided backing vocals, still dressed in her operatic outfit, for the title track of Paul Quinn & The Independent Group's second LP. Truly beautiful. Truly breathtaking. And the last time that i ever got to see Paul Quinn perform on the stage. Sigh


(d) TindersticksJism

Edinburgh Jaffa Cake late 90s. The hottest gig I’ve ever been at in my life. A tiny attic room that was part of an Edinburgh Fringe Festival venue more akin to hosting comedians and staging plays by undergraduate theatre groups. I’ve no idea just how the fire authorities were able to let so many folk in. So hot that the band removed their jackets. I know I’m likely to go to hell when I die – and it will be a dawdle compared to surviving that August night without passing out. The roar that greeted this epic number would have graced the winning goal of any cup final

(e) The Smiths – Hand In Glove

Glasgow QM Union 1982. The first time I ever saw them live. The first song I ever heard them play live. A life-changing moment.


Q2. Tell us about the high points and low points of a typical working day.

The high point is lunchtime and the moments that I’m able to spend in any one of a number of half-decent (Avalanche, Fopp, Missing) or indeed rubbishy (Virgin, HMV) record stores in Glasgow city centre.

I don’t think about the low points – if I did I wouldn’t make any effort to come in. But they’re usually the result of something happening outwith my direct control but which ultimately will end up at my desk requiring immediate fixing.

Sorry it’s a dull answer, but there’s little really exciting about working in a huge bureaucracy.


Q3. You’ve been convicted of the murder of the football commentator who said they’ll be dancing on the streets of Raith tonight, and your final appeal has failed. It’s time to choose your last meal.

I wouldn’t be settling for a last meal at this point. I’d be mobilising the troops, with hopefully comrades like Toad, Colin, Simon, Liz, Crash and everyone who has a modicum of love for me (that includes you Mrs Villain) organising last minute petitions to the top brass explaining that it was a mercy killing as all football commentators on British television deserve to be garroted.

But I guess you guys will get nowhere. So I would demand, as my last request, a bowl of pasta from a magnificent Milanese restaurant –
Da Ilia – to be washed down with a bottle of Valpolicella Amarone red vino. Failing that, a bowl of Kellogg’s Sugar Frosties – after all, on the eve of my execution, I will no longer be worrying about its effect on my waistline.

Q4. It’s 2012 and Scotland is to be retired in order to pay for the London Olympics. You’re responsibility is to preserve ten Scottish songs for posterity. What do you choose.

I could refer you all back to a series of earlier postings that appeared on TVV in which the choices of the personal Top 10s of myself & Jacques the Kipper for the poll at Jock’n’Roll were aired and discussed. I was only allowed one song per artist, and my list featured Orange Juice, Sons & Daughters, Bronski Beat, Bourgie Bourgie, Associates ec, etc...

But if Scotland is to be retired, then the lawmakers will inevitably deem that all good things associated with the country must be outlawed forever in order to prevent a revolutionary uprising. So all my choice of songs will come from a prescribed list of such crap that the authorities will thereby ensure that no-one in their right mind would ever want to be part of a nation once again….

Andy Stewart – A Scottish Soldier; Neil Reid – Mother Of Mine; Jim Diamond – I Should Have Known Better; Darius - Colourblind; Simple Minds – Belfast Child; Aneka – Japanese Boy; Wet Wet Wet - Goodnight Girl; Gun - Word Up; Lena Martell - One Day At A Time; Runrig - Loch Lomond.

Ten stinkers I'm sure you agree.

Q5. We all need a bit of direction in our leisure time. What should we be watching on the telly? Something current, something from the last few years and something to buy and enjoy on dvd.

The only long-running thing really worth watching is The Simpsons. Need I say anymore?


In terms of recent stuff no longer with us, I think it has to be
Our Friends In The North - the last thirty seconds of which had me blubbering away like a big southern jessie.

On DVD – make sure you get every episode of The Sopranos. It can be watched over and over again as small details emerge each episode as hugely significant for the future.

If I was to choose a DVD movie, it would be High Fidelity. I want to be as cool and handsome as John Cusack, and I want to own a record store but only if I could afford it to run at a huge loss as I would only sell records which I liked…..

So that's what I've got to say in response to Crash's five questions. If you'd like to play along, send me an e-mail and I'll get some probing stuff over to you. Go on...you know you want to.

Oh, I suppose I better put up an mp3 given you've got this far:-

mp3 : Tindersticks - Jism (live)

Oh and here's another while I'm at it. Sorry it's not live:-

mp3 : Paul Quinn & The Independent Group - Will I Ever Be Inside Of You?

6 comments:

ally. said...

if it was alan green you killed you'd be paraded through the streets as the worlds greatest hero and showered with frosties.
give it a go - you know you want to.
x
and thanks for the paul quinn record - i don't play this enough, it's lovely.

Anonymous said...

As ever, I'm with you on much of this.
PQ doing "Inside" that night is possibly my favourite live song ever. Smiths "Reel around the Fountain" yes. But it is tough to get it down to 5. Bunnymen "Back of Love", Dury doing "Spasticus Autisticus", James' "Earwig", practically all of Tom Waits at the Playhouse, Prince "Sign o the times" were all great moments. And we haven't even started on the Fall, Thomas Dolby (?!), Tindersticks, Editors, Pogues, Clash, Weddoes, early Mary Chain and Foil obviously..... If I come back in 15 mins I'll have thought of many more.

Jacques the Kipper

Mick said...

Interesting answers but surely any worst of Scotland list should include Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep.

FiL said...

Dearest JC, I am a fitba illiterate, despite my 15 years in the UK. That said, count on me to wave a placard, dress in purple, and chain myself to Big Ben in your support. Buu failing that, maybe you could choose death by six boxes of Frosties washed down with a case or three of said vino. I'm sure the chemical reaction would do you in most pleasantly...

As for Runrig... Worst. Gig. Ever. I. Was. Dragged. To. See.

Thanks for playing along!

JC said...

Ally

If you think Mr Green is bad, you should try listening to the jokers up here in Scotland - especially expert summariser Ian McColl.

JtK

I took a while to answer, and there's a few big occasions I haven't mentioned (e.g Pet Shop Boys at SECC, Pogues at Strathclyde Univ, Associates at Glasgow Pavilion, Carter USM at Glasgow Tech, Edwyn Collins at Edinburgh Venue, Billy Bragg just about anywhere, Editors at King Tuts, Lloyd Cole at King Tut's or Ayr Pavilion, Tindersticks in London, Martin Stephenson the other week at Woodend Tennis Club - you get the drift) that could easily have made it, but I tried to cover all periods of my life and going to gigs with different folk. It was far from easy.

Mick

Fair point. But which of the ten listed would be removed.

Fil

I was also once dragged to a Runrig gig at Edinburgh Castle to fill seats at a hospitality thing. It was, as you say, the worst gig ever. How can people listen to such drivel???

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