Baby Blues

Strollers may be the new stilettos, but for women who are childless by choice, motherhood just isn't in the cards.

"Do you have children? Really? Why not? How old are you?" This is a common line of questioning from supernova moms to childless women who happen to fall into their bottle-wielding orbit.

Ambivalence about having children isn't a particularly welcome stance in this culture of childcentric übermommies, with their tangle of parenting accoutrements — nannies, twin Maclaren strollers, Tumble Tots classes, socially vetted playdates. Questions inevitably arise as to why one wouldn't want to join their Pampers-changing ranks.

In the past several years, motherhood has taken on a different sheen, especially among the privileged set. A very precise, smug mummy syndrome has emerged, leaving nonmoms vying for credibility in its Vuitton-diaper-bag wake. Because, after all, what are we if we can't join the conversation with our own preschool-application woes?

Granted, of course, there are lovely, well-meaning mothers out there who aren't judgmental and don't fall prey to the competitive culture. But it's hard to remain uncertain when growing numbers of celebrities trot out their mini-me kin for countless photo ops. Indeed, no one is immune to the insecurities bred by the idealized vision of mommyhood.

"As celebs have their perfect pregnancies in the pages of magazines, it seems like a trend, when, in fact, motherhood has been around for, oh, ever," says Momzillas author and mother of three Jill Kargman. "When the concept of an It girl was ubiquitous in the late '90s, it was all about the PYTs being fabulous. Sex and the City was all the rage, and being single and stylish was something many women could relate to.

"But now, those legions of ladies have moved on, trading fetishy footwear for flats to chase after kids, and it seems like everyone has a belly bump or a baby."

The cultural benchmark has changed, which is a natural evolution, after all, but why has the pressure to procreate reached what feels like a fever pitch? According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the number of births in 2006 increased 3 percent from 2005 — the largest single-year rise since 1989 and the largest number of births since 1961. In some ways, it's as if we've circled back half a century. "In the 1950s and 1960s, people believed that it was unnatural not to be or to want to be a mother," says Stephanie Coontz, a professor, author, and the director of research and public education for the Council on Contemporary Families. "There was really extraordinary social pressure. The pressures were so great, in fact, people gave in to them."

But the dawn of feminism allowed for a backlash. Women burned their bras, became CEOs, loved men and left them — in short, they got liberated. Yet now, perhaps due to our increasingly conservative sociopolitical clime, something has shifted.