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Sunday marks the beginning of the U.S. military‘s 12th year in Afghanistan. It ain’t quite the Hundred Years’ War, but 12 years is 20% of this particular Battleland correspondent’s life. Eleven years ago today – October 7, 2001 — also was a Sunday. I was at the Pentagon, along with scores of colleagues, gathering whatever [...]
Today, I am tired of suicide.
I ache in my bones and muscles and soul for all the suffering that continues to occur.
I am tired of learning about people who reached out for help, sometimes screaming for help, and they were dismissed by the military.
I am tired of hearing widows who not only blame themselves unfairly, but are also blamed by the military (in writing) as the trigger for their husband’s suicide.
I am tired of an endless problem that seems to have no clear solution.
My heart breaks for each of us.
The moms, dads, siblings, widows and children. If we aren’t asking why any more (and many of us have learned to stop asking that question) we are asking what can we do?
Today, I am tried and frustrated that the number of suicides keeps going up and more and more families are in need of support from TAPS.
I don’t have the solution. But, I refuse to give up. We all have to refuse to give up.
Saturday one of the presenters, Franklin Cook — who is a suicide survivor himself — said: “You can survive anything if you keep showing up.”
And so, though at times today I was tempted to retreat to my room to process my fatigue and frustration, I kept showing up. And I will keep showing up until the path is clearer on what we can do to help our men and women in the military, and their families.
In the meantime, I’m going to process my grief (and too many others) the best way that I can. As TAPS says, I will Remember the love, Celebrate the life and Share the journey.
Thank you for sharing this journey with me for a while. I hope that together we can make it really count.
Leslie McCaddon of Massachusetts was one of two widows Time featured in its July cover story on the surge in Army suicides. Her husband, Dr. Michael McCaddon, an Army captain, died in March.
Saturday night was our “family dinner” at our suicide-survivors’ conference in San Diego.TAPS provided us with fried chicken (I was one happy Texan!) and several other comfort foods.
We sat at tables with friends both new and old and everyone had the same precious look on their faces- exhausted yet grateful. I was feeling tired, emotionally stretched, excited, comforted, and thrilled to hear our key note speaker Marine Corps Sergeant Major Brian Battaglia, the senior enlisted adviser to the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. In that role, his mission is to keep the nation’s top military officer — Army General Martin Dempsey — keenly aware of how the nation’s young men and women in uniform are faring and feeling. It’s a vital job after — as of Sunday — 11 straight years of war.
I first met Sergeant Major Battaglia in June at the Department of Defense-VA suicide prevention conference. He sat in the front row during our panel of survivors’ stories, and served as a grounding force for me while I poured my heart out.
I had no idea who he was, but was compelled to go thank him for giving me an encouraging smile when I struggled to grasp words. I soon learned that he played a very important role within our military, specifically working on suicide prevention. So, you can imagine my delight when I found out he would be speaking at the TAPS Suicide Survivor Seminar.
Saturday night, Sergeant Major Battagia spoke to our gathering of survivors, and encouraged us to continue sharing our stories. He honored our loved ones and affirmed what I, too, believe: they all died heroes.
He spoke of the love and support we all now have in TAPS and of his personal appreciation and awe of such a passionate and precious organization.
Lastly, he addressed the fiercest survivors among us, the children.
As a teacher, I was so incredibly moved by what came next. Sergeant Major Battaglia invited the children to come to the stage. He told them that that they were safe among their new TAPS family, and that they had a new family and set of friends who would do anything to help them.
Then, the not-so-musically-talented military hero led the group of tiny heroes in song. They sang That’s What Friends Are For, and brought the audience to tears.
The lyrics to the song ring so true to the heart of TAPS:
Keep smilin’, keep shinin’
Knowin’ you can always count on me, for sure,
That’s what friends are for.
For good times and bad times
I’ll be on your side forever more,
That’s what friends are for.
Hearing this giant of the military community sing to those children and promise his support touched me. It opened my eyes to a new kind of military, one that recognizes the problem and is working to solve it.
After I lost my husband, I felt that I had no support within the military — that his death would go unnoticed, and that others would join him.
I feared that the only people trying to change the suicide rate among our troops were those on the outside of the military. After tonight, I can testify that this is not true. We have a friend, an ally, and a warrior within the military named Sergeant Major Brian Battaglia.
TAPS’ mission was so obvious Saturday night. Bonnie Carroll and Kim Ruocco have spent countless days working to build strong links to the military. It would be easy for them to have written off the military, seen it as the problem, and gone on.
But that is not how it works in TAPS. This organization constantly works cooperatively with the military to find solutions to frustrating and devastating issues, including — but not limited to — military suicide. That is both powerful and amazing.
I was encouraged and inspired by the night’s events.
I want to speak to those who may be feeling like no one cares about the suicide loss of your loved one. I would like to offer you the promise of hope. You have the TAPS community, ably reinforced by Sergeant Major Battaglia and his team, working unrelentingly on behalf of you and your loved one. That’s what I learned Saturday night.
Rebecca Morrison of Texas was one of two widows Time featured in its July cover story on the surge in Army suicides. Her husband, Captain Ian Morrison, an AH-64 helicopter pilot, died in March.
(SANTA CLARITA, Calif.) — Authorities say a commuter train carrying more than 200 passengers struck a semi that was stalled on the tracks in northern Los Angeles County, leaving three people with minor injuries.
Shannon, Tim and John.
These names, prior to our trip to the TAPS National Military Survivors Seminar in Washington, D.C., in May were not names I heard spoken in our home. Now, they receive nearly daily mentions and are always accompanied by big grins on my three children’s faces.
(WAYNE, N.J.) — A tour bus from Canada carrying about 60 people bound for New York City overturned on a highway exit ramp in northern New Jersey early Saturday, slid down an embankment and landed on its side, injuring 23 people on board, authorities said.
The driver, who suffered a gash in his arm, told state police that he was cut off by another vehicle, though it was not immediately clear whether that caused the crash around 7:30 a.m. on eastbound Interstate 80 in Wayne.
Some windows burst during the crash and their frames pinned three people, but they were quickly freed and taken to hospitals with the other injured. The bus had been chartered by a church group.
Eight of the injured passengers were admitted in critical condition, hospital spokeswoman Liz Asani said. Further details on their injuries were not disclosed. The rest of the injured, including two young children, were being treated for minor injuries at two other hospitals.
State police have said none of the injuries are considered life-threatening.
(MORE: China Seethes Over a Rash of Deadly School Bus Crashes)
“It was terrifying,” Norma Cumberbatch, 66, of Toronto, told The Star-Ledger of Newark. Cumberbatch, who was traveling with her 68-year-old sister, Marjorie, said she struggled to free her legs from fallen luggage and other debris before trying to find her sister.
“I just took my leg out and then said, ‘Where’s my sister? I want my sister.’”
Marjorie Cumberbatch said she heard “thump, thump, thump. Then I looked up and I saw people over me screaming and crying.”
Passengers who were unhurt were put on another bus and continued their journey, authorities said.
The coach bus was from Toronto-based AVM Max 2000 Charter Services Inc., state police said. The phone for AVM Max rang unanswered Saturday afternoon, and the company did not respond to an email Saturday.
The crash was the latest of several coach bus accidents over the past few years on American highways. Last year, a bus carrying gamblers from a trip to a Connecticut casino struck a guardrail as it entered New York City, then toppled over and hit a signpost that sliced off the top of the bus. Thirteen people were killed. A manslaughter trial for the driver began last month.
Saturday’s accident backed up traffic in the area for hours while law enforcement officials and emergency services vehicles attended to the scene. Several highways connect there, and the area is known locally as the “spaghetti bowl,” according to The Record.
VIDEO: Three-Year Old Girl Stuck Under Bus Freed By Onlookers
(NEWPORT, R.I.) — The bodies of three women were pulled Friday from a car that had been in Newport Harbor for hours after it plunged off a pier and landed on its roof, police said.
A man charged in a series of fatal stabbings in Michigan in 2010 will face no additional trials in the state unless his first murder conviction is overturned, a prosecutor said Friday, citing the high cost of bringing each case to court.
(WASHINGTON) — A new estimate puts the deficit for the just-completed 2012 budget year at $1.1 trillion, the fourth straight year of trillion dollar deficits on President Barack Obama’s watch.
