'To the people who kept us awake by singing - I hate you': Angry neighbour reviews 'terrible' karaoke that stopped him sleeping

  • Oli Beale created a giant complaint letter and pinned it to the board in the communal area of his London block of flats
  • It included the names of songs sung, what time it was followed by a mark out of ten and a short critique
  • 'Your terrace faces 115 windows. I'm sure you are keen to hear our verdict,' he wrote
  • heir karaoke version of Elton John's hit Tiny Dancer got the most praise while Aerosmith and Run DMC's Walk This Way was the worst

By Martin Robinson

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Most of us have spent long uncomfortable nights being kept awake by a raucous party at a neighbour's house or flat.

But while the majority will have just buried their head under the duvet and shut all the windows, one Londoner decided to put his inability to sleep to good use and compile a detailed critique of the 'terrible' karaoke that disturbed him.

Oli Beale then pinned a giant newspaper-style review to the board in the communal area of his Hackney block of flats and then posted a picture on Twitter.

Scathing review: Oli Beale pinned a giant newspaper-style review to the board in the communal area of his Hackney block of flats and then posted a picture on Twitter

Scathing review: Oli Beale pinned a giant newspaper-style review to the board in the communal area of his Hackney block of flats and then posted a picture on Twitter

His handmade complaint included timings and titles of songs sung, how it was performed and a rating out of 10.

After the 'singing/screaming' finished at 9.10am, his final message to his east London neighbours was simply: 'I hate you'.

The 33-year-old, who works in advertising, wrote to the mystery group who did the 'epic performance' on a balcony in the middle of the night.

 

'Your terrace faces 115 windows so you really did have the perfect stage. I'm sure you are keen to hear our verdict,' he wrote.

First up was The Who's classic Pinball Wizard, which received a 'terrible' three out of ten at 2.23am.

At 3.14am was Aerosmith's duet with Run DMC: Walk This Way, which Mr Beale gave a 1 in ten and called 'the lowest point of the performance' and its chorus was repeated every ten minutes for the rest of the night, he said.

No stars: Oli said the performances of Aerosmith's Walk This Way and Elton John's Tiny Dancer weren't good

No stars: Oli said the performances of Aerosmith's Walk This Way and Elton John's Tiny Dancer weren't good

At 8.20am there was Elton John's balled Tiny Dancer, which was 'actually very good - if you're going to be woken up after only two hours sleep  it might as well be to a herd of morons screaming Tiny Dancer'.

The finale came at 9.10am with The Cure's single Friday I'm in Love, which was a 'return to poor form'.

Quoting its famous first line 'I don't care if Monday's blue' Mr Beale added: 'Judging by how wired you all looked by this stage, I can assure you Monday through to Thuirsday  will be very, very blue.'

Oli, after reviewing Friday I'm In Love, finished his missive with the words, 'I hate you'

Oli, after reviewing Friday I'm In Love, finished his missive with the words, 'I hate you'

It is not the first time Mr Beale's creative complaints have captured the imagination.

Three years ago he wrote to Sir Richard Branson about poor food on his Virgin flight, which was called the funniest complaint letter of all time.

He was so furious about his meal between Mumbai and London he sent six-pages of complaints with pictures of his food.

He called it his 'culinary journey of hell' and asked Sir Richard to consider how he had felt as a child when he opened Christmas presents, saying: 'It's your hamster Richard. It's your hamster in the box and it's not breathing. That's how I felt when I peeled back the foil.'

 

The comments below have been moderated in advance.

Why didn't he just knock on their door and ask them to quiet down when they started making the noise? Or would that not have served his self-promotion?- RGH , York, ..................................Oh! that's going to work with a flat full of drunken chav's, you try it if you like!!! ....- sior, courtice, 11/9/2012 14:51 Chavs singing along to Elton John, The Cure then hugging each other? They sound like well healed young professionals to me - still stranger danger and all that...

Click to rate     Rating   1

I'm actually laughing right now. To the person who wrote this review - I love you. Sorry for the sleeplessness though

Click to rate     Rating   20

Doesn't it make you long for a very highly-amplified 'Mosquito' ultrasonic generator, on a very tightly controlled directional beam? Make the drunken louts feel sick and disoriented without knowing why, but it'd SHUT THEM UP. I have noise issues with a young family over the back - they actually encourage their small girl to scream at eardrum-lacerating volume and frequency. I'm getting a Mosquito to blast back at the little beast.

Click to rate     Rating   12

What a well written, grammatically correct and funny message. Unlike so many these days.

Click to rate     Rating   32

I am in a very similar situation &I; go through it every day. I live in a flat and the Neighbours above me are complete chavs, living off state benefits. She uses the excuse of being a single parent with 4 kids to the maximum advantage. Her kids run havoc EVERYDAY till 12:30 / 01:00 AM in the morning, and the obscenities she screams at her kids, I would not use it on my worst enemy. Her 3 year old son uses the F word all the time. They leave the building close dirty & messy with all their junk, don't believe in bin bags, scream and shout every time they climb up or down the stairs, and she has called the cops on me because I went upstairs once to complain about the noise. The police / council have done nothing, they call it living noise. The police have done nothing / the council have done nothing, they call it living noise. There is nothing in the law that will HELP ME.So it seems Benefit seeking Chavs have more right than us, who work 10 hours a day, and pay taxes.

Click to rate     Rating   52

I spent 4 years fighting the housing association tenants over their noise and down right rude behaviour some years back. Video, diaries, photos, you name it, I recorded it but still the Council, the Association and the police did nothing for 4 years. I couldn't open my windows, hoped the sun didn't shine seeing as when it did their houses became speakers. The longest session lasted about 3 days. I totally understand what this guy is going through and wish him well. Unfortunately, people like this make you want to move from your home. I had to for my sanity.

Click to rate     Rating   62

Ha ha Superdrummer from Leeds. I did the same thing to a neighbour. When I got up at 7am for work, I played rock music at top volume. Luckily I lived in an end terrace house so didn't have to worry about neighbours the other side. No words were ever spoken with the neighbours who'd kept me awake, but they got the message as they never did it again.

Click to rate     Rating   58

haha love this, i wish he was my neighbour

Click to rate     Rating   57

I am sure he would like Sue Barker to do what she did to the Go Compare man to these baffoons...

Click to rate     Rating   33

So funny:))) It made me laugh so much

Click to rate     Rating   56

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