'It's so terrible, you'll need to ice your face to ease the pain': New Liz & Dick reviews mock Lindsay Lohan's 'frozen face' and 'blank stare' as Elizabeth Taylor

By Daily Mail Reporter

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The Hollywood Reporter has already slammed her performance in Liz & Dick as 'spectacularly bad,' likening her take on Elizabeth Taylor as 'half train wreck, half SNL skit.'

And unfortunately for Lindsay Lohan, more reviews of the forthcoming Lifetime biopic have been equally damning.

'It’s so terrible, you’ll need to ice your face when it’s over to ease the pain of wincing for two hours,'  David Wiegand of The San Francisco Chronicle reports about the drama, which airs on U.S. network Lifetime on Sunday night.

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Ice the pain: The reviews for Lindsay Lohan's forthcoming Lifetime biopic Liz & Dick are overwhelmingly bad

Ice the pain: The reviews for Lindsay Lohan's forthcoming Lifetime biopic Liz & Dick are overwhelmingly bad

The reviewer is clearly unimpressed with Lohan and her co-star Grant Bowler, who plays Richard Burton - describing their performances as 'ranging from barely adequate to terrible,' before pointing out that Taylor's fluctuating weight is not covered in the film.

'Unlike Lohan, she had hips,' adds Wiegand. 'It’s as though Burton is trading barbs with a 14-year-old boy in drag.'

Elsewhere, Entertainment Weekly calls the drama a 'dinky, tin-eared production,' and mocks the actress's 'frozen face' and 'blank stare.'

Even the couple's on-screen chemistry is derided, with Time magazine describing their coupling as 'a gender-reversed equivalent of Anne Hathaway and James Franco co-hosting the Oscars, him overstraining to drag her performance along.'

Slammed: Lindsay Lohan and Grant Bowler's chemistry as Taylor and Burton has been likened by critics to Miss Piggy and Kermit

Slammed: Lindsay Lohan and Grant Bowler's chemistry as Taylor and Burton has been likened by critics to Miss Piggy and Kermit

Slammed: Lohan's performance as Taylor has been derided as ranging from 'barely adequate to terrible'

Slammed: Lohan's performance as Taylor has been derided as ranging from 'barely adequate to terrible'

The Los Angeles Times writes: 'Unfortunately Lohan and co-star Grant Bowler have about as much sexual chemistry as Kermit and Miss Piggy and none of that couple's tenderness.'

The newspaper's critic Mary McNamara confesses herself 'bored' by the epic, reporting: 'Rather than pay homage to one of the most famous romances of the 20th century, Liz & Dick manages to make it boring.'

Starring as the Hollywood icon at various stages of her career, many critics agree that Lohan only passes as the late Hollywood icon through make-up and wardrobe.

The New York Times' Alessandra Stanley even says that Lifetime's decision to cast Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor is merely a 'gimmick' to draw viewers and publicity.

Film magic: The featurette explores Taylor and Burton's relationship throughout their roles together, including 1963 movie Cleopatra

Film magic: The featurette explores Taylor and Burton's relationship throughout their roles together, including 1963 movie Cleopatra

'There are moments in Liz & Dick when Lindsay Lohan looks a lot like Elizabeth Taylor,' she writes. 'There are others in which she looks like Elizabeth Taylor doing a Saturday Night Live impersonation of Lindsay Lohan'

Lohan's bloated and puffy features also come under scrutiny.

'Absurdly, given Ms. Lohan’s actual youth, her smoky voice and prematurely smoothed features and puffed lips suggest an ageing beauty struggling to look young, not a young actress made up to look old,' says Stanley.

The reviews will clearly make unhappy reading for Lohan in what was supposed to be her comeback role.

Melodramatic: The featurette co-stars Grant Bowler as the late actress' husband, Richard Burton

Melodramatic: The featurette co-stars Grant Bowler as Taylor's husband, Richard Burton

But she may take some crumb of comfort from criticism of the screenplay and production itself.

'Lifetime's Liz & Dick is very bad, just as you knew it would be,' writes The Wrap's Tim Molloy. 'Let's not pretend it ever had a shot at being decent.

'The decision to cast Lindsay Lohan as Oscar-winning screen legend Elizabeth Taylor told us right up front that the filmmakers were more interested in trashy publicity than quality. She isn't good, but no one could be good with this dialogue.'

However, The New York Post is a sole voice of admiration, writing: 'Lohan, in character as Taylor, is often so believable you might think you’re seeing the real thing.'

An early review by The Hollywood Reporter even encouraged viewers to watch the forthcoming featurette for all the wrong reasons..

Likeness: Lohan fails to pull off a convincing portrayal of the Hollywood legend, critics say

Likeness: Lohan fails to pull off a convincing portrayal of the Hollywood legend, critics say

No comparison: Another critic said the Lohan, left, had the odds stacked against her playing an icon like Taylor, right
No comparison: Another critic said the Lohan, left, had the odds stacked against her playing an icon like Taylor, right

No comparison: Another critic said that Lohan, left, had the odds stacked against her playing an icon like Taylor, right

Scandal: The poster for the drama promises controversy and scandal but many reviews say there will only be unintentional hilarity

Scandal: The poster for the drama promises controversy and scandal but many reviews say there will only be unintentional hilarity

The vitriolic review describes the film as so 'spectacularly bad' audiences will fail to take it  seriously.

'Lohan as Taylor was a bad idea in the dramatic sense, but it’s pure genius both for marketing and for belly laughs and drinking games,' Critic Tim Goodman writes, musing on its unintentional comedic qualities and comparing it to a high school play.

The vitriolic review describes the film as so 'spectacularly bad' audiences will fail to take it  seriously.

'Lohan as Taylor was a bad idea in the dramatic sense, but it’s pure genius both for marketing and for belly laughs and drinking games,' Critic Tim Goodman writes, musing on its unintentional comedic qualities and comparing it to a high school play.

'Lohan is woeful as Taylor from start to finish. But, whatever you do, don’t miss Liz & Dick. It’s an instant classic of unintentional hilarity,' he continues, offering, 'Drinking games were made for movies like this.'

'And the best part is that it gets worse as it goes on... By the time Lohan is playing mid-’80s Taylor and it looks like a lost Saturday Night Live skit, your body may be cramped by convulsions.'

Unconvinced by Lohan's performance ('There is not one minute in this film where she’s believable'), Goodman slams producers for naively casting Lohan in the lead role.

Life in the spotlight: Lindsay Lohan is seen in character as Elizabeth Taylor in a new behind-the-scene video of her upcoming TV film Liz & Dick

Life in the spotlight: Lohan sports the same clothes and accessories as Taylor in the drama

Tender: The film centres around the passionate and tumultuous relationship of Taylor and Richard Burton, who she married twice

Tender: The film centres around the passionate and tumultuous relationship of Taylor and Richard Burton, who she married twice

'Luckily, you can’t take your eyes off of Lohan playing Taylor, which the producers clearly thought would work because they share similar backstories,' Goodman writes. He continues with a personal attack.

'Except for the part about Taylor being a gigantic movie star and Lohan not being one. Not even a star bright enough to transport you at least halfway to believing she’s Elizabeth Taylor.'

But David Hinckley of the New York Daily News points out Lohan had the odds stacked against her.

'Maybe no re-enactment of their lives could replicate the scale on which those lives played out,' he writes of Taylor and Burton.

'It's tempting to say the movie's big problem is that Lohan is no Liz Taylor. And she isn't - though that's not entirely her fault.

Criticism: Lohan, pictured at the drama's premiere last week, has been slammed for her 'frozen stare'
Criticism: Lohan, pictured at the drama's premiere last week, has been slammed for her 'frozen stare'

Criticism: Lohan, pictured at the drama's premiere last week, has been slammed for her 'frozen stare'

'There aren't all that many actresses, or women, who can stop a room simply by walking into it,' he writes, adding the Bowler 'comes closer to Burton's rough, rugged charm'.

Lindsay herself opened up about the pressures of taking on the role in a video interview released in September.

Comparing herself to the Hollywood legend, she said: 'I relate to her on a lot of levels — living in the public eye, dealing with the stress of what other people say, whether it’s true or not.'

'I personally understand Liz, because you’re living your life for everyone to see, and people are growing with you.'

Meanwhile, it has been revealed that the Liz & dick producers had to get 'incarceration insurance' before hiring Lohan.

Speaking out: Lindsay Lohan made an appearance on Good Morning America on Friday to promote the film

Speaking out:  Lohan made a recent appearance on Good Morning America on Friday to promote the film

The star has been arrested six times, checked in to rehab five times, been jailed and completed 536 hours of community service and executive producer

Executive producer Larry Thompson admitted hiring her was a big risk.

He told Entertainment Weekly:  “When we first met with her, she had two probations, and when we finally closed the deal with her, there was only one probation. If we couldn’t have gotten insurance, there would have been no movie.

'We wound up having to go to Lloyd’s of London to get what we called incarceration insurance. We had to protect ourselves that if she were to have violated her probation during production, we wouldn’t have had to close down and lose our movie.'

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The comments below have not been moderated.

Lindsay Lohan and Grant Bowler's chemistry as Taylor and Burton has been likened by critics to Miss Piggy and Kermit ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm sorry, but that's hilarious! LMAO

Click to rate     Rating   1

They say there is no such thing as bad publicity. In this case, I am not sure that is right. I really don't know what Lifetime was thinking when they hired LL. No amount of publicity can make up for really bad acting. To me it degrades Lifetime as a channel that generally puts out decent quality movies. This could have been LL comeback, too bad she didn't bother to put any effort into this project.

Click to rate     Rating   1

I watched as much as I cold stand. Lindsay was absolutely horrible. She didn't look like Liz, move like Liz, and wouldn't you think that Lindsay at least could have tried to SOUND a bit like Liz? And please Lindsay you might think you can relate to Liz, but get real Liz was a super star with the press all her because of her and movie star status, and the world LOVED her. You on the other hand have the press following you around waiting for to drive drunk, hit a car, steal some jewelry, your disrespect for the court system and frankly waiting for your train wreck to happen.

Click to rate     Rating   3

To me Lindsay looks more like Joan Collins than Elizabeth Taylor. I believe Collins looks were often compared to Taylor.

Click to rate     Rating   3

Mind you the film will most likely make a ton of money because viewers will be watching it out of curiosity.

Click to rate     Rating   8

I watched it this evening on the Lifetime channel. I was bored to naffy breaks, lilo is definatley no elizabeth taylor that's for sure.

Click to rate     Rating   3

I'm quite sure the film is as awful as it's made out but it's a Lifetime movie not an official biopic. Truthfully I'm proud that she completed it, she presumably learned her lines and followed direction well, because it seemed like a really quick shoot. While her face cannot be reversed and it is an absolute tragedy, it has improved slightly, I do not believe she's touched it over the last year, the make up and lighting in the GMA screenshot makes for such a horror picture. Perhaps I am too hopeless an optimist, but I will always root for her.

Click to rate     Rating   131

Green arrow if like me you think Lindsay is way hotter than Liz ever was!

Click to rate     Rating   885

Lindsay Lohan has very limited acting talent.

Click to rate     Rating   433

Obviously, the producers just used Lohan to garner a welter of publicity for what they knew was going to be a piece of trash. The production values must have been incredibly cheap as the picture of Lohan playing Liz Taylor in Cleopatra shows her wearing a pair of gold stilletos. I would think that even the most junior of costume advisors would know that such fashion items were not a part of the ancient Egyptian woman's wardrobe. The whole thing just reeks of tackiness.

Click to rate     Rating   278

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