Diana,

My boyfriend gets mad very easily and then spews whatever comes out of his mouth. He says that I shouldn’t get hurt by what he says but it does hurt me. I can’t just let it go the next day or even the next week for that matter. I can’t get through to him that words hurt. What should I do?

Devon
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Hi Diana,

My boyfriend is deployed. We have been together for years. He and I Skype. Lately, he has asked me to send him naked pictures and do sexual things on Skype so he can watch. I know part of being in a relationship is having sex and doing sexual things but I don’t feel comfortable doing the stuff he asks. I feel bad saying no because he says it’s a lot for him to be away. Can I say no?

Daniella
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Diana,

My husband left me about 3 months ago. We were only married for 4-5 months and he decided he wanted to live his life and be young and single (he’s 21, I’m 18) I’ve finally started getting my life together by enlisting in the Air Force, like he already is. All I’m waiting for is a date to leave for bootcamp. Now he’s saying how without me he realized how he’s not happy and doesn’t want to get divorced after all. He also doesn’t want me to go into the Air Force. I’m not sure what to do. Part of me wants that love story and part of me knows how badly he hurt me by leaving. If anything I want him to prove how he’s changed and become worthy of being with me again but I’m not sure what would prove to me that he’s different.

Jessica
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Hi My Wingman Readers!

I have been getting emails regarding how to give back to the troops and their loved ones this holiday season. There are numerous charities you can give to. Some of my favorites are The Wounded Warriors Project and Got Your Back Network. If you go to their websites you can find out how to donate. I hope that helps.

Wounded Warrior Project: https://support.woundedwarriorproject.org/Default.aspx?tsid=66

Got You Back Network http://www.gotyourbacknetwork.org/donate.html

All the best,
Diana

Hey Diana,

So I’m currently in AIT for the Army. I met this girl who caught my eye and for about 8 weeks now we have occasionally talked and flirted but she tells me her problems and we share little dreamy stares. I know a man’s mind is different at translating signals but due to all this I developed a crush on her.

The good, her friends tell me the least I could do is tell her. It wont hurt to say how she makes me feel besides, here comes the bad part! She is active duty and I am National Guard! Which means if you don’t keep in touch I might never get to see her again. I don’t think I can do that so what do you think, tell her and keep in touch or forget it its just another stupid crush? She is 18 and I am 19 if that does any good?!

John
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Hi Diana,

I have never actually done this before or gone on the internet with my problems but from reading all the other stories and your answers I can tell you give good advice. Anyways I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half and I love him more than anything. He is in the Army and currently in Arizona for AIT. Last year I lived with him and his family due to my family problems and now that I started college this year and he went to basic training.

I never thought in a million years I would ever do anything stupid to mess our relationship up. We had planned on getting married and I know he is the one. He comes home in 15 days for Christmas and he was going to propose to me. We have even been talking about starting a family even though we are still so young but that’s just how much we are crazy about each other.

He left for basic the end of August, in the middle of September I went out with my best friend and got drunk and had sex with another guy. I was so ashamed of myself because I’m not one for cheating and I did sadly. I had no reason to whatsoever because my boyfriend gives me everything and is the best guy in the world. The worst part is I’m extremely close to his family and they give me everything and help me out A LOT. So not only did I deceive my boyfriend but also his family. I consider them more family than mine.

Anyways after that night I was so ashamed and I blocked the guy from Facebook and Twitter and we never talked after that night once. Last night after my boyfriend and I got off the phone to go to bed he called me about half an hour later and confronted me about cheating on him. The other guy had called him and straight up told him because he didn’t know I had a boyfriend and felt bad. I instantly broke into tears and just admitted it and I know it tore him up. At first he said he wanted to end everything between us and that we were done.

I think he realized my remorse and decided to give me a second chance but he said there was going to be punishment. He said he was going to keep everything saying single for himself but I needed to act like I was still in a relationship for a few days. He also said he was going to have sex with as many girls as he wants as my punishment to get back at me and that if I still wanted to stay together I needed to accept it and trust him that things would eventually go back the same after New Year’s (which is the time he gave himself to get with other girls). He also said if I’m not in school or at work he wants he at his family’s house ALL the time.

I love him so much and I know I did him wrong and I want to be with him but I don’t know what to do and need help. All my friends say he isn’t really going to go out and have sex with girls and that he is just angry but I think he will. What should I do?

Thanks so much,
Elizabeth
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Diana,

An alleged soldier and I have been corresponding for the last few weeks.  He is overseas.  We have never met. I’m a big romantic but his last email I included below actually worries me.  Please read it and let me know what you think.

Cynthia

HIS EMAIL:

Good morning baby,. Thanks for sending me the link to see more, pls remind me to send you some pics tomorrow. I can say i feel so much love towards you. I keep wondering, who are you? A woman trying to be a goddess or a goddess pretending to me a woman. Whichever you are you have made me so happy and filled me with joy. If you are an angel, i am telling good you have done a good job. I am here miles a way and i find comfort in knowing someone out there is thinking of me in such a warm way. In my thoughts of you there is an underlying love that is present in every word, every glimpse I hope you feel it as I do, for it is what I am and ever I will be from now on. Even though you’re not here and nowhere to be found around here, my heart says you’re still here and everywhere to be found here. I only need to close my eyes and you shall be there in my heart just like a screen saver. If today, a smile should appear on your face, it’s because at this very minute, I am thinking of you and I am smiling too.

I will be a bot busy today but you should text me whenever you want and when i ever get time i shall respond ok? I am so happy and excited that this is all coming to an end, i only pray for a smooth extraction here and i shall have the opportunity to have a life with you. Now i understand what they mean when they say, Love is a noble act of self-giving, offering trust, faith, and loyalty. The more you love, the more you lose a part of yourself, yet you don’t become less of who you are; you end up being complete with your loved ones.

Waiting to hear from you soon
Your baby

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Diana,

HELP!!!! This is different from the other questions you get but I thought maybe you could give me some ideas. My boyfriend has leave for the holidays. I want to cook him a romantic dinner. I never cook so I have no clue what to do. Any suggestions?

Gloria
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Diana,

I’m talking to a soldier online.  I have never met him.  I don’t have any money and he knows.  I know many people have been scammed by fake soldiers.  Nothing so far strikes me as odd but I don’t want to fall for him and then find out he’s an imposter.  I don’t want to look like an idiot.

Shannon Continue Reading…

I am a military veteran. I completed a 15 month tour in Iraq from 2004-2005. It took a toll on my family. How do I know how hard it was on them? Well, for one, my sister began suddenly volunteering for USO, MWR, and FSG events while I was away. This led to her conducting interviews with other folks with loved ones deployed, which in turn led to her volunteering for Military.com and eventually her column, which you are reading now.

I have asked Diana to avoid using me and my stories as material for her work, and she has respected that. Recently, however, some people have essentially accused Diana of having no idea of what it is like to have a loved one deployed. This is simply not true. Continue Reading…