Sopranos mobster Steve Schirripa on his 'tough love' approach to raising girls and how 'fathers these days don't take charge'

• Actor Steve Schirripa, who plays mobster Bobby Baccalieri, has released a book called Big Daddy's Rules: Raising Girls is Tougher Than I Look

By Margot Peppers

PUBLISHED: 16:34 EST, 9 May 2013 | UPDATED: 16:59 EST, 9 May 2013

Actor Steve Schirripa, best known for his role as mobster Bobby Baccalieri on HBO series The Sopranos, has released a book called Big Daddy's Rules: Raising Girls is Tougher Than I Look, which outlines his brutally honest and take-no-prisoners guide to raising children.

The 55-year-old, whose two daughters Bria and Ciara are 21 and 17, explains that contrary to the way fathers are often portrayed as clueless in movies, he has maintained an active and hands-on approach to keeping his girls in line.

'I'm a big daddy, I take charge,' he told Matt Lauer on the Today Show. 'Fathers don't take charge these days. Every time you see a father in TV or movies, he's an idiot. I'm not an idiot!'

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Tough guy, tough love: Sopranos actor Steve Schirripa (right) has written a parenting guidebook on how to raise girls, citing his personal experience with daughters Ciara, 17 (left) and Bria, 21 (middle)

When asked what he means by 'big daddy', the six-foot-two New Yorker responds: 'Big heart, big mouth, big temper!'

In his anecdotal book, the protective father-of-two recounts all the times he has stood his ground to look out for his daughters' best interests, making no secret of his tough guy attitude.

Indeed, Mr Schirripa says his outlook to parenting is very much 'my way or the high way,' and if anyone tries to question it, he gives them a straightforward answer.

'When people tell me that I'm a hothead, I have one response: You got a problem with that?' he writes in his book.

'The point is, everybody thinks they have the answer to how to be a good parent. Here's mine: Everybody's gonna make mistakes.

'Kids don't come with an instruction manual,' he continues. 'So if you're gonna make mistakes, at least make them your own way.'

He also says that a parent should not try to be friends with his or her child, citing as an example a mother he knows who went to get a tattoo with her own teenage daughter.

Daddy's girls: When Bria and Ciara are asked whether they will imitate his 'loud' parenting style when they become mothers, they answer: 'On some level. . . but the yelling, I don't know about that part!'

How to be a Big Daddy: One of the most important rules he outlines in his guidebook is: 'Be there. There's no such thing as quality time, there's only quantity time'

'If she's gonna get tattoos when her mom is right there, what's she gonna do when you're not around?' he writes.

'Kids have to rebel. . . It's their job. Your job is to give them something to rebel against.'

The actor, who confesses that his book is more suited to the humor shelf of a bookstore than the parenting one, added: 'What does that kid with the tattoos have to do in order to piss her mother off, shoot somebody?'

Mr Schirripa admits that his parenting style - which his daughters describe as 'loud, intense and tough' - may not be for everybody.

'I'm not a parenting expert, I'm not Dr Phil or whatever,' he said. 'This is what's worked for me.'

Still, the book does contain some wise words of advice in a more serious tone.

One of the most important Big Daddy rules he outlines, for example, is: 'Be there.There's no such thing as quality time, there's only quantity time.'

Gangster: Mr Schirripa is famous for playing Bobby 'Bacala' Baccilieri (right), a mafia member on HBO series The Sopranos, which aired from 1999 to 2007

Indeed, the actor - who admits the book is partly a love letter to his beloved daughters - said: 'I'm present whether I'm there or I'm not there. I'm in their head, they know how I feel, they know how their mom feels about things, we'll be disappointed. They know what we want.'

For their part, Bria and Ciara do appear to be level-headed, even though they admit their father has been a little overprotective at times.

When asked whether they intend to imitate his parenting style when they themselves become mothers, Bria answers: 'On some level, I guess we will be protecting our children ourselves.'

Then she adds with a laugh: 'But the intensity, and the yelling! I don't know about that part.'

WATCH: Steve Schirripa on his guide to being a parent

 

'Big Daddy's Rules': Steve Schirripa's guide to being a parent