Articles written by Ben


CBS Sunday Morning:

Ben on Taxes September, 2010

Ben�s Word of Warning September, 2010

Stumped by the World September, 2010

The American Spectator:

A Military Funeral November 2010

Late Summer Weekend October 2010

Old Articles
Two Days in Washington March, 2010

Stabbing the Constitution March, 2010

On the Brink of Depression March, 2010

Free James O�Keefe February, 2010

Let It Be January, 2010

Welcome to America�s Nightmare January, 2010


I�m Being Tested December, 2009

What a Piece of Work December, 2009

Breaking Fast with Bill Safire November, 2009


The Divinity of Dogs April 4, 2009

What I�ve Been Hearing April 27, 2009

From Coolidge to Harding April 14, 2009������

The Funniest Movie Since Ferris Bueller March 25, 2009

Straight A's for AA March 19, 2009

What I�ve Been Hearing April 27, 2009

From Coolidge to Harding April 14, 2009������

The Funniest Movie Since Ferris Bueller March 25, 2009

Straight A's for AA March 19, 2009


12/2/2008- Change to Washington?

11/30/2008- Obama�s Team isn�t Exactly a Break with the Past����������������� ������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������

10/20/2008- Why I�m Still Buying

10/7/2008- How to Ruin the U.S. Economy

9/21/08- CBS Sunday Morning- Regulate Wall Street

9/14/08-CBS Sunday Morning- On Rattling Sabres with Russia

8/30/2008- Obamas Questionable Stimulus Plan

8/19/2008- 9 Tips for Dangerous Times

8/24/2008- Connected, Yes, but Hermetically Sealed

8/10/2008- A Familiar Tax Tune

8/03/08-CBS Sunday Morning- I�m Ben Stein, and I�ve Erred Financially

7/27/2008- Dodging the Worst

7/21/2008�- Bear Market Advice

7/09/08- CBS Sunday Morning- A Hot topic for Summer

7/08/2008- Buy Index Funds and Real Estate

6/29/08- New York Times- Why Oil and Wages don�t Mix.

6/20/2008- Simple Investing Truths

6/15/2008 � CBS Sunday Morning - Father�s Day:Time to Accessorize

6/09/2008 � New York Times � When You Weren�t Looking, They Were Working

6/06/2008- Real Estate Realities

5/27/2008- Time to Sniff Out Juicy Dividends

5/25/2008 � CBS Sunday Morning - Stop Whining and Blaming Oil Companies

04/27/2008 � What Did the FLDS Kids do to Deserve This? (Text Version of Video Below)

04/27/2008 � Texas Raid Was Wrong

04/20/2008 � Pet Peeve

03/16/2008 - Elections More Important Than Call Girls

03/02/2008 - A Breathtaking Election

02/10/2008 - Valentine's Day

01/20/2008 - The Recession

01/06/2008 - Politicians and Change

12/16/2007 - What Makes a "Good" Christmas?

11/11/2007 - Ben Stein Thanks Veterans

10/28/2007 - Geopolitics and High Heels

09/02/2007 - Craig Was Lynched Twice

08/19/2007 - "Chill" Over Market Dips

06/10/2007 - Why Should I Care?

05/27/2007 - Blanche Dubois Was Right

03/18/2007 - Economy

02/18/2007 - Rich Get Richer While War Rages On

01/28/2007 - Bush is Not All Bad

12/31/2006 - Remembering President Ford

11/26/2006 - America the Beautiful

10/29/2006 - Bush and Iraq

10/08/2006 - Is Foley That Big A Deal?

3/5/2006 - Retirement and Baby Boomers

01/22/2006 - Oil

12/18/2005 - Christmas

11/27/2005 - Thanksgiving

06/26/2005 - Religion and Politics

05/08/2005 - Mother's Day

01/09/2005 - Wal-Mart

11/28/2004 - Retirement Planning

10/31/2004 - George W. Bush

10/10/2004 - Col. Dale Denman, Jr.

7/4/2004 - The Real Stars

Father's Day

US Forces in Iraq

Yahoo! - How Not to Ruin Your Life:


Bearing the Bad News

Irrational Times Call for Rational Measures

Homeowners and Investors, Time to Get Real

Take the Bait, Ruin Your Investing Life

No Pain, No Gain

Rethinking the Recession

Don't Buy the Panic


Bursting the Economic-Fear Bubble

Feeling the Crunch

Market Fluctuations and Subprime Morality

All Play and No Work Makes for a Poor Life

Arm Yourself for Job Fulfillment and Retirement Bliss

No Nightmare on Wall Street

Ten Ways to Blow A Sale

Big Oil, Little Gratitude

Recession-Proof Your Investment Strategy

Anticipating All the Retirement Variables

Old-School Lessons for the College-Bound

How Speculators Exploit Market Fears

A Peace Offering for Your Retirement

A View of the Economy from Abroad

When Paying off Doesn't Pay

Time Flies When You're Unprepared

Playing Politics at the Pump

A Few Lessons From the Road

Simple Pleasures Include Financial Security

How to Have a Business Conversation

Six Key Principles of Saving for Retirement

The Long and Short of Down-Market Investing

Keeping Your Cool in a Shaky Market

To Get Rich, Just Follow the Instructions

A Well-Oiled Defense

A Home Truth About Real Estate Investing

Investing Strategies for the New Year


Success is All in a Day's Work

A Season for Peace of Mind

Lessons from an Economic Maestro

A Formula for Long-Term Happiness

Investing for the Real Payoff

The Art of (Killing) the Deal

What to Do When a Boom Goes Bust

Signed, Sealed, Delivered, It's Yours

A Lifetime of Perfect Summer Days

Storm Warnings: What Katrina Taught Us

Do I Hear Cannons? Must Be Time to Buy

The Best Investment You'll Ever Make

Your Golden Years Don't Have to be Tarnished

Wise Words for Getting Ahead in Your Career

How to Succeed in Hollywood -- and Anywhere Else

After Enron, Corporate Wrongdoing Still Thrives

High Oil Prices: Don't Shoot the Messengers

Work Adds Shine to Your Golden Years

The Cruel Truth About Retirement

Three Big Mistakes in Retirement Planning

Who's To Blame for High Oil and Gas Prices?

Standards of Life in the Future: Think Grim

Trade with China: More Gain than Pain for Americans

Living Hand to Mouth -- and Barely Getting By

Income That Lasts as Long as You Need It

A Retirement Portfolio with Staying Power


When Investing, Profit from Serenity

Want Big Returns? Think Small

China: Friend or Foe?

Cement, Steel, and Stocks

I Love You Alan Greenspan, But...

A Model Portfolio for Weathering Retirement

The Early Bird Gets the Nest Egg

The Cure for Interesting Times? Money

American Spectator - Ben Stein's Diary

July/August 2006 - On the Road Again

October 2005 - Unshared Sacrifice 

June 2005 - Desert Stars

February 2005 - Scared at 60

 December 2004/January 2005 - Special Deliverance

 September 2004 - Swimming to Arkansas

May 2004 - American Salute

April 2004 - Going Places

October 2003 - Preserving the Civil War

August/September 2003 - Spiders with Tenure

May/June 2002

June 2001 - Defining Moments

May 2001 - Shock Shock

April 2001 - Hooked on Power

March 2001 - Our New Plumbing

November 2000 - Austin Power

American Spectator - Other:

Florida's Darwinian Interlude


I Had No Alternative

Al's Ignoble Nobel

Shut Up

Right to Worship

A Taste of Indian Summer

CNN Must Be Crazy

Bush Amazes

Our Founding Father

Stupak's Stupidity

Bush Much Greater

Sharpton in the Morning

Terror in our Midst

Gratitude is Wealth

Terribly Exciting

The Lynching of the President

I Smell a Borat

A Christmas Day of Peace

A Scary Russian Bear

Dinner with the Bushes

Dollar Signs at Ground Zero

Pedophile Nation

Foley in Perspective

Hypocrisy, Democrat Style

A Few More Little Facts

How to Lose to Terrorists


Out of Disproportion

A Precious Morning

Eretz Israel

How Was Your Weekend?

Defending the Flag

Why I Am a Republican

Let's Stand for Something

Keeping the Faith

Memorial Day Diary

They Did God's Work

What You Need to Know

Stop the Scapegoating

On This Good Friday

Greetings from Rancho Mirage

Better People Than I Am

Missed Tributes

We're Losing

Oil is Well

Saints in Armor

Oil, Oil, Oil

Good Morning, 2006

A Patriot Acts

As Thanksgiving Approaches

American Miracle

A Big Lie Put to Rest

More on Katrina

Get Off His Back

Tommy Turns 18

Bulletin from Ben 

Mr. Lonely

Father's Day Perspectives

Recruitment Improvement

A New Yorker Kind of Guy 

The Cost of the War on Terrorism

 I Don't Feel for Felt

Deep Throat and Genocide 

Reign DeLay

 The Truth About DeLay

 American Death Sentence

Simply Terrifying

Visiting Hours

One of Them

How Was Your Day?


Christmas Peace

How to Ace an Exam

Col. Denman's Luger

We Shall Overcome

The Land of $800 Haircuts

Homage to the Eastern Front

Happy Bush Country

Riefenstahl Madness

Democrats Taste Blood

Go To Yale

The Sharpie in Sharpton

Malibu Mystery Theater

Iraq and North Korea in Cahoots?

The Quality of Mercy

Roadway Pharisees

The Daddy Trap

For the Love of Money

E! Online - Articles

Do Jews Run Hollywood? 

E! Online - Monday Night at Morton's


How Can Someone Who Lives in Insane Luxury Be a Star in Today's World? (the often forwarded final column)

The Problem in Our Lives is Powerlessness -- the Solution Is Also Powerlessness

I Was Part of the In-Crowd -- and That's A Sweet Feeling, Here or Anywhere

Take a Fair Position and Stick to It--and You'll Almost Always Get It

Heaven Help Us if We Live in a Town Where Men Deserve Pity Because They Are Addicted to Shoes

Gray Davis Is the Eminem of California Politics, Only Without the Great Beat

Rap Amuses Me and Makes Me Think--but What Do White Suburban Kids Like My Son See in It?

This Is the Way of the Armed Forces: Team Playing to Protect a Nation Only Barely Aware They Exist 

Hollywood Is About Leaving 'Em Laughing When You Go

In All of the Time You Have Been in Hollywood, Who Are the Most Impressive Stars You Have Met?" You'd Be Surprised

All Those Years in the GOP Vineyards, All Those Years at Yale --None of That Means a Thing

Come Along for a Little Rap I Like to Call Saddam Insane

A Society That Does Not Care for Those Who Care for Us Will Not -- and Should Not -- Last

The United States is Strong in the Hearts of Americans at This Moment When We Are Under Siege

There Is a Lot Going on Out in the World -- and a Lot of It Is Being Done by People Braver Than I

I Am Still Totally Insane -- but at Least I Have a Home in Which to be Insane

We Tend to Think When Terrible Things Happen It's the End, but It's Always A New Beginning


How to Get Started in Hollywood? Have Smart, Kind, Well-Connected Friends

How Sweet Our Childhoods Seem -- for the Youth but, More Important, for the Safety

Kids in Cities Today Never Knew Any Calm -- the Revolution of Fear Is the Revolution of Our Era

A Man from Mars Would've Thought There Were Only a Few Blacks in America in the '40s and 50s

 Why Is Such a Huge Deal Being Made over Martha Stewart?

Win Ben Stein's Money is Gone -- but I Am Labor and Comedy Central Is Capital, and This Is How It Works

There Are Happy People in Hollywood, but for Each of Them, How Many Are in Torment?

"She's Holding Your Article over Me While I'm in Bed Without Any Clothes"

Men in Black II is the Best Movie I Have Seen in Years -- but There is One Little Problem

The Day Will Come When You Are Begging Your Parents' Friends for a Remembrance

I Can't Get My Mind Off Robert Blake -- What a Nut, but What a Likable Nut

I Can Feel the Fear and Tension Ebbing Away

Maybe We Need to Consider This a Tale of Ovitz Envy

No Movie or TV Show Ever Created Is As Haunting As Hollywood Itself

Stardom? Courage? I Saw Both in the Hollow Eyes of a Small Child

The Losers in This Town Disdain Work -- the Winners Embrace It

I Think I'll Stay At Morton's Now, Where I Am Safe


I Started to Cry As I Walked Up Rodeo Drive, and My Wife Asked Me Why

People in Hollywood Are Not Sensible -- They Throw Away Their Lives on Dreams

When You're A Big Star, You're the World's Property

The Hollywood Type: Self-Obsessed, Rude Babies -- But Cute in the Nakedness of Their Self-Importance

If Hollywood Were Running the Show, There Would Be No Wars

Fun, Fun, Fun Until the Terrorists Take My T-Bird Away

This Country is Not Weaker Now, It�s Stronger

In the Eyes of Those Cops and Firemen, I Was Blessed Enough to See the Chimes of Freedom Flashing

Hardly Anyone Can Imagine How Sweet Life Was Before the Revolution

Yeah, I�m Older Than You, but I�ve Also Had a Lot More Fun

All I Can Think About is Paul McCartney. Why? Why Is It So Exciting to Meet Him?

It�s a Total Myth that Movie Companies Boom in Bad Times

I Keep Thinking of the Lessons I learned in the 25 Years I've Been in Hollywood

It's Not True that Celebrities Are Selfish Punks -- They Often Have Very Good Hearts 

I Have No Thoughts to Spend on the Material Girl -- We Are All Too Busy Being Material Boys 

I Really Look Like a Very Jewish Version of the King 

Life in Los Angeles is More Unforgiving Than Life in the Outback 

The Farther You Get From D.C. and the Smug Guys and Dolls, the Happier People Are 

How Come All of These Guys Are So Thin? I Suspect They've Made a Pact with the Devil 

Of the Kindest People I Have Ever Met, Almost All of Them Are in Hollywood 

 "We Could All Go Back to Your House," Said the Woman Who Swings 

Deep Inside, I'm a Rock 'n' Roller -- That's Who I Really and Truly Am 

A Large Group Is Shouting "Ben Stein for President..." 

To Live in This Town, You Must Be Tough, Tough, Tough, Tough, Tough, Tough, Tough 


The Country Started Out Close to Perfect, and It's Better Than Ever -- Plus, Tom Hanks Lives Here 

Tonight, I Get to Be Honored by Sitting with Heroes 

Vitamin C Taught Me a Dance That Involves Shaking My Thighs 

I Had Hardly Ever Met Such an Interesting Psychological Case as Jenna Jameson 

I Still Have Yet to Meet Anyone in a Major Position of Power Who Is as Kind and Giving as Norman Lear 

She Seems to Have No Idea I Am a Major Star, but That's All Right 

Can You Even Imagine How Great It Is to Be a Star of Jennifer Aniston's Level? 

Tim Allen is Every Bit as Cheerful as Jay Leno is Sharp and Dour 

I Hate That the Conventions Are Over -- They've Been A Lot More Fun Than Working 

This Is the Civil, Good-Natured America of a Frank Capra Movie 

I Sure Love Sarah Jessica, but I Just Do Not Get Sex and the City 

We Stars All Wave to One Another As If We Know Each Other 

Little Did I Dream I Would Ever Be Walking on a Red Carpet with Daytime TV Stars 

I Would Pay His Mortgage for Drew Carey to Be My Next-Door Neighbor 

It's All About Hollywood -- New York Was the Center of the Universe Until L.A. Came Along 

The Handmaiden of All This Money Is Fear of What Happens If It Goes Away 

All Women in L.A. Look Unhappy All the Time 

Regis Has the Best Job and the Best Pay; I Have the Hardest and the Worst 

That's the Difference Between Doing Things and Writing About Things 

They'd Been Lied to So Many Times, They No Longer Believed Anyone 

I Didn't Even Know There Was a Dawson 

I Want to Be Like Grace Kelly in Rear Window 

Being a Star Would Not Have Stopped a Bullet 


In Washington, There are Nice People, but What Can They Do for Me or Maya? 

In Hollywood, the Smart Get Defeated and Lose Hope, While the Stupid Become Billionaires 

Stars Are Nice, and Fame Pays the Mortgage, but Puppy Is Life 

I Just Work on Maggie's Farm Like the Rest of the Talk-Show Hosts 

I Never, Ever Experience a True Miasma of Meaninglessness Until I Came Back to Hollywood 

To My Parents, Morton's, with Its Ranks of Bentleys and Porsches, Was a Mystery of Pretention 

You Can Get to the Middle Here, Even If You're Not Very Tough 

I Love Being a Star This Week More Than I Ever Have Before 

Blacklist? There Never Was a List. We Did it All on the Phone 

Going Home, up Outpost Drive, I Smell Star Jasmine the Whole Way 

Michael Eisner Was Not Born with Mouse Ears on His Head 

Hollywood Really Is a Machine for Redressing Childhood Slights 

If a Man Finds a Good-Looking Woman in Hollywood, He Doesn't Marry Her, He Rents Her 

I Wonder If They Show the Emmys in Heaven 

None of Them Had a Smile Like Sharon Stone 

I Have to Make a List of All the People in My Life Who Are Asking for Favors 

Here in Hollywood, It's Good to Be Greeted by a Studio Head, Not Good to Be Ignored by One

In Hollywood, It's All A Question of Servants and Masters--or Servants and Mistresses 

If You're Rich Enough, You Can Just Behave in Any Crazy Way You Want 

If They Are All Rich, I Am Probably Rich, Too 

Maybe Rose McGowan Sleeps with a Teddy Bear 

I Ask Roseanne If She Wants to Join Us - She Shakes Her Head 

Here's Proof of One of My Major Laws of Hollywood Women 

Hollywood Is High School with Money 


Happy Holidays from the Promised Land 

The Silicone Valley, or One of the Many Silicone Valleys in Morton's 

Why Did Tom Hanks Look So Worried? I Wasn't Going to Hurt Him! 

Hollywood A-Go-Go 

He Is So Successful That It's Amazing His Feet Touch Ground. But That Hair! 

A Website Called Jew Alert Seems a Long Way from Morton's 

 Where Do the Cool People Hang Out When It's Not Monday Night At Morton's? 

What's Important Is That There Are All of These Girls 

Why Bother to Have Such Thoughts at Morton's? It's Almost Treason 

And There in the Back Was Arsenio, Laughing and Scratching 

Since When Did 'Morally Deserving' Have Anything to Do with Getting Anywhere in Hollywood? 

That Was A Trick To Make Us Want Your Show Even More, Right? 

I Get People Saying 'Bueller, Bueller' to Me All the Time. I Don't Like It 

He Doesn't Look Like A Younger Tom Mount, He Looks Like An Entirely Different Tom Mount 

I Have A Stalker -- A Maniac. Actually, Two Maniacs 

I Have to Write A Check to the IRS, So Maybe You'll Buy Dessert 

That's Tommy Hilfiger -- Should I Ask Him To Join Us? 

I'm Trying To Count How Many Men I've Gone Down On To Get My Movie Made 

This Place is About Success, Not About Trials and Tribulations 

Someone Is Putting Ether Into Their Glasses 

How Long is Your Yacht? 

What Can It Mean That Scary People Are All Around Me? 

I Feel As If Someone Has Dropped a Bomb on Morton's Tonight -- A C-Bomb! 

People Are Noticing Me These Days, And I Like That 

Don't Tell Anyone What I Said About Universal...It's Scary There, and People Can Get Fired 


I'm Just Too Old and Set in My Dylan Ways 

Hey, Can We Get a Gulfstream V? 

What Luck for Me That the Kung Fu Guy Is There to Take Care of Me 

Smiling Faces, Smiling Faces, Tell Lies... 

It's Like Everyone Here is Underwater Tonight 

I Love This Little Lizard - He's My New Pal At Morton's 

Not Everyone Has A Game Show, Says The Real-Estate Woman 

What's Three Billion in the Bank if You Can't Get Your Food Done Right? 

The Chest Sizes of the Women at Morton's Have Exploded 

When You Have a Lamborghini Countach, You Can Park Anywhere and Never Get Towed 

That Bitch! She Ruined the Premiere of My Show 

If My Show Is A Hit, I'll Have to Get Used to This 

I Don't Recall That Morton's Was Always So Filled with Call Girls 

What If Something Happens to Harrison Ford on That Plane? 

How Much Do You Make From That? Enough to Buy Me a Condo? 

Why Can't They Turn Down the Noise? 

What A World: Money Is Everything, and a Person I Like Is For Sale 

It Breaks My Heart To Say It, But Somehow Larry King and Henry Kissinger Look Alike 

The Real Lines In Life Are Between the Big Scammers and the Small 

I'd Hug Everyone Else Who Was a Disney Director, Too, If I Were One 

He Has A Million Girls, So I Guess We're Finished 

We're All For Sale - Except Maybe Wanda and Richard from West Virginia 

The Place Was Like A Zoo of Rich Animals 

Morton's Is About Making Money, Not Giving It Away 

What Must It Be Like to be Young Like Jason Priestley? 

Commerce Is Our Goal Here in L.A. 

Sylvester Stallone and I Went to the Same Junior High School 

Baa, Baa, Baa 

My Grandfather Had a Duel with the Red Baron 

Isn't It Great to be Thin? 

Warren, uh, uh, Warren... 

Whatever Anyone Says at Morton's Is True 

How Can This City Be So Rich When People in It Have Such Wacky Ideas? 

What Do They Want? Why Are They Here? 

Martin Davis is Roughing it Tonight 

I Love This Guy! 

I Didn't See You in Hit and Run 

Other Articles

The Dream That Once Was Detroit

Fox News Interview on Congress Power Shift and the Economy

In Class Warfare, Guess Which Class is Winning

Looking for the Will Beyond the Battlefield

Fourth is a Time of Celebration, But Also of Gratitude

A City on a Hill, or a Looting Opportunity

Ithaca College Commencement Address

How to Ruin American Enterprise

Just for Today Affirmations 

Why You Should Stop Worrying and Learn to Love the Market 

My Father's Estate 

My Family Values 

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