Pippa the society wedding guest from hell! When Miss Middleton is in the pews, there is only one guest that anyone is interested in...
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Boozy best men, pink-cheeked young chaps in morning coats, leggy girls in pashminas, country churches, choirs and confetti, disappointing weather . . . the ingredients for an upper-crust British wedding are reassuringly predictable.
But lately there is a new must-have among young Sloanes trotting up the aisle: Pippa Middleton as a guest.
Since her star turn at the Royal Wedding, every toff in the kingdom seems to have perky Pippa looking on as they pledge their troth. Nearly royal and freshly famous, she has become the popular party perennial, the talisman of any boisterous Shires wedding.
June 2011: The wedding of amateur jockey Sam Waley Cohen and Annabel Ballin
Pippa covers her enviable figure in a £399 chartreuse satin coat and dull print dress, teamed with £420 Prada shoes and over-large £645 Sylvia Fletcher hat. TOTAL: £1,464
Sept 2011: Rosie Laing and Jake French, friends from Edinburgh University
This outfit — a £295 Alice Temperley dress that needs an iron, £170 Wilbur & Gussie clutch and £325 Gina Foster hat — is more hen night than wedding. TOTAL: £790
Sept 2011: University chum Humphrey Bowles and Hattie Dawson
Floaty and rather land-girl, this £405 dress by Suzannah — worn with £280 Gina Foster hat — isn’t Pippa’s usual style at all. Nor are the £145 LK Bennett sandals. TOTAL: £830
Not a Saturday goes by without Waitrose’s new food columnist — and editor of The Party Times, the website for her parents’ Party Pieces company — squeezing in an early-morning blow-dry, piling on the black eyeliner, checking her nude tights for ladders and choosing a feathery fascinator. It seems no Hattie or Georgie wants to wed without her.
However, some brides have surely regretted inviting Pippa. For when their big day dawns, it doesn’t take long for them to realise that someone else will be princess for the day.
From the moment the hordes of paparazzi descend outside the church — how do they know she’ll be there? — everyone knows they haven’t turned up to see a junior barrister or chartered surveyor get hitched.
And it’s not just the photographers. At even the smartest of weddings, when Pippa is in the pews there’s only one guest anyone’s interested in.
May 2012: Katherine Phillips and David Marsham, heir of the Earl of Romney
Pippa’s been Tangoed in this £441 orange Catherine Deane dress and £1,200 earrings. The £122 Bundle Maclaren hat is baffling — like chopsticks on a plate.
TOTAL: £1,763
July: 2012 Old school pal Alice St John Webster and Gerald Avenel
While the colour of this £445 Alice Temperley dress is pretty, and she’s recycled her Prada shoes and Wilbur & Gussie clutch, the overall effect is seriously frumpy. TOTAL: £445
September 2012: Childhood friend Mary Buckwell and Simon Cox
Pippa’s navy lace £350 Project D dress is like an Erdem number her sister wore on tour in Canada. The hat and Prada shoes get another outing. TOTAL: £350
Indeed, not only do they spend their day staring at Pippa, when she’s out of earshot, she’s all they talk about, too. Which must be a little galling for the bride.
A friend who attended a Berkshire wedding with Pippa revealed that when the festivities were over, everyone wanted to reminisce — about the food (what Pippa ate), the clothes (what Pippa wore) and the dancing (was Pippa any good?).
Happily, bruised bridal egos can be assuaged by the buzz generated by having Pippa as a guest — it’s like having Marilyn Monroe turn up just as the congregation shuffle into a church in Nowheresville.
While Pippa always manages to look cheerful and delighted to be there, whether it’s Northumberland or Norfolk (for rarely does a Sloane wedding take place anywhere as convenient as London), this round of weddings is becoming more fraught for her.
For 29-year-old Pippa is a singleton in the wedding zone — the years between 28 and 34 when, in an irresistible domino effect, your entire social circle gets married, one after the other — and as such there will be times when that bleak worry dawns: when will it be my turn?
Sept 2011: Society chums Harriet Colthurst and Thomas Sutton
Pippa’s £465 Project D peplum dress is fussy even with a plain £325 Gina Foster hat, £269 Prada shoes and £150 Wilbur & Gussie clutch.
TOTAL: £1,209
December 2011: University pal Georgina Hewlett and asset manager Ben Fitzherbert
In a £725 Katherine Hooker coat, £325 Gina Foster hat, £260 Emmy shoes and £230 clutch, Pippa makes a valiant effort for a formal wedding. TOTAL: £1,540
April 2012: Hannah Gillingham, old schoolfriend of Kate’s, and Robert Carter
This £350 tiered outfit Project D dress is rather short and the £25 Accessorise bag is clunky. But Pippa’s £285 Madeleine hat is pretty. TOTAL: £660
But Pippa should fear not. Her most recent boyfriend, banker Nico Jackson, looks like a promising choice, being sporty, handsome, keen and available. But it’s interesting to note that, by and large, he doesn’t go to weddings with her.
After all, trotting along to weddings with a relatively new boyfriend when you’re nearing 30 is excruciating for everyone involved. Above the feathers on Pippa’s head there would be that giant question mark hovering in the air for the whole congregation to see.
Worse even than the fear of being alone for ever is the frightful fashion dilemma that weddings present.
For Pippa, this is nothing less than an ongoing crisis. She has been to at least 15 weddings since her triumph at her sister’s Westminster Abbey nuptials two years ago — and since she is usually the most photographed person there, she can’t wear the same thing to each one.
May 2012: Camilla Hook and Sam Holland, grandson of Lord ‘Dickie’ Attenborough
Red £899 Issa dress and bold hat are too Carmen Miranda. The £260 Emmy shoes and £175 Wilbur & Gussie clutch are a little heavy for spring.
TOTAL: £1,334
December 2012: Clothes designer Emma Logue and Alex Roupell
The Queen Mum in wartime springs to mind with this £398 Gina Foster hat, £750 Suzannah coat, £340 Louis Vuitton clutch and £420 Prada pumps. TOTAL: £1,908
May 2013: Former barrister Verity Evetts and Christopher Buchanan
The effect of U.S. designer Tory Burch’s £370 seahorse patterned dress, worn with a £99 cream Whiteleys hat and £208 nude Kate Spade heels, is just a little drab. Total: £677
Yet, despite having plenty of practice, Pippa’s ensembles don’t always hit the mark.
While she doesn’t flout the most obvious rules for guest dressing — no white, nothing see-through, no upstaging the bride on purpose a la Elizabeth Hurley’s sparkly knickers on show at her chum Henry Dent-Brocklehurst’s wedding — it’s true that Pippa’s wedding wardrobe is sometimes found wanting.
The Middleton women have developed a kind of family uniform for weddings, slightly different from the other guests.
There may be lots of leg (possibly too much), but it must always be safely housed in nude hosiery. Fascinators or hats — they have moved on from the former to the latter — must be quite small and feature feathers.
April 2013: Author Abi Elphinstone and City analyst Edmund Salvesen
The £578 Beulah dress, worn with £269 Prada pumps, seems a bit 3am for church and the £257 Rosie Olivia hat looks terribly odd paired with a long gown. TOTAL: £1,104
April 2013: The Hon Lucy Beaumont and financier the Hon Michael Marsham
Matthew Williamson’s £595 plain blue dress is smart, but what’s going on with his £495 ‘Opulent’ necklace and the fascinator? There’s just too much going on! TOTAL: £1,090
Sept 2012: Thierry Kelaart, a former tutor to Princes William and Harry, and Patrick Heathcoat Amory, son of Sir Ian and Lady Heathcoat Amory
This £825 Temperley London dress is chic if rather short. Worn with a pretty £700 Edwina Ibbotson hat and £195 Russell & Bromley courts, it’s all a bit beige.
TOTAL: £1,720
But Kate plays her wedding hand slightly differently. She sometimes wears High Street and, unlike Pippa, clothes she has worn before, with a keen awareness that she could be accused of decadence if she was seen in an endless stream of outfits.
Pippa, on the other hand, has no such
constraints. She also doesn’t play it so safe and experiments with
fashion — producing mixed results.
Once
her outfit is decided upon, Pippa will grab a walker — perhaps a banker
friend such as Tom Kingston — and flash her whitest smile at the
waiting hordes of photographers and guests.
At least the forgotten bride can console herself with the thought that the Pippa show has made her wedding go with a bang.
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Why don't you show pictures of other guests who attend the same weddings as Pippa Middleton? They move in the same circles so obviously they would also be attending the same events. Leave the girl alone.
- Lee , Vancouver, 22/5/2013 18:12
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