Smart way to MARRIAGE Blog
If they gave out driver's license the same way marriage license is, the streets would be all bloody. We don't apply "Trial & Error" to permit people to drive, why do we allow it for marriage?
My name is Behtaj Amiri. I created www.WeFree.Us (blog: Behtaj.com) to "Significantly Improve the World". I'm a professional analyst using the data commonly available regarding how we humans have been performing (our actions and their subsequent results). I've discovered wide open pockets of potential improvement to be had should we just wake up and see how seriously our ambivalence has been and continues to damage us. I'm sharing the results of my work on the Internet in hope to wake the world up and get the masses involved. I'm hopeful the points I'm making land in front of the experts associated to each of the 3 issues I'm targeting which are:
#1.Marriage, #2.Income, #3.Education. I believe these are the 3 most important things in the human agenda when it comes to damage control and significant potential for serious improvement of human kind.
My job actually ends at the problem identification phase. It's important that the solution phase is administered by professionals from around the world who are educated in one of the 3 issues identified. I invite them to fine-tune or completely change the following suggestions I'm making.
In this post I discuss Problem #1 - "Smart way to Marriage"
1. With the assistance of a specially trained Pre Marital Doctor, Require couples to put all their baggage on the table. If it turn either one off, they naturally separate prior to engagement saving the embarrassment and the added pressure of others watching. If the baggage doesn't turn them off, then it will undoubtedly make them fall into deeper love. If the same couple left their baggage to be exposed after marriage, it would drive a wedge between them instead. This is education which leads the couple into experiencing their honest emotions, thereby leaving a lasting impression by invoking an honest very valuable reaction. It enriches the couple if they share honestly. Best done prior to engagement.
2. I also feel we need to ripen our children for marriage by allowing them to know about the struggles and challenges we have in our own marriage (I invite professionals to come set the depth of what should be shared, and at what age). If it was up to me, I would share it all. If a father or mother is stupid and selfish enough to cheat while married, than maybe if they know that all the facts will be shared with his/her children will deter them if G-D hasn't (thank G-D this was not a problem in my marriage).
I think God instills in our children the desire to want to know more, and be inquisitive. But when they come to us and ask "Hey dad, what were you and mom arguing about?" we don't share, robbing them the opportunity of experiencing the pain / loss / improvements that can be had. It's this experience, even possible heart ache or achievement that can ripen them.
Experiencing like this is better than having to EXPERIMENT later in their own marriage. Sending the couple to classes prior to marriage is good, but there is a difference between Information (which a class provides) verses Experiencing which TRANSFORMS the person. Example: If I tell you to mix orange juice with milk or cream and drink it, you would think it will make you sick,. But when you drink Orange Julius, your experience is pleasant. This is the difference between learning by information and learning by transformation.
G-D tickles our children to want to know more, but we get in the way of that natural instinct, robbing them of the experience. Our children need to be better prepared for marriage. A new marriage is no place for experimentation, we need to stop that. Would you go to a surgeon who's been educated but has never done surgery? The first marriage is when most of us have children. Learning after the first marriage ends in separation or divorce is too late. We must learn during childhood. We may emotionality heart our child by doing this, but isn't that the first thing the surgeon does? You wouldn't stop that would you? Where the line is, I don't know. Soon I'm hopeful the concept will be refined by a professional who steps up to help me. In the mean time, please put this to practice using your own best judgment of how deep your willing to share and at what age. To not share at all is what we've been doing, and we already know that's not working.
The We Free Us mission is the most important thing in my life. More impotent than my life, even the lives of people I love dearly. I don't have a choice but to feel this way because I've discovered a way to improve the world in a very significant way (G-D willing) and I don't see any way I can fail as long as I can get the world's attention. My life has been detrimentally effected significantly as a result of how I feel, but nothing will stop me. Please help by sharing this mission with everyone in your email contact list, FaceBook and other contacts by sending them these domains:
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HIS elite servant,
Behtaj Baruch Amiri
Behtaj Baruch Amiri
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"It's easy to improve. It's hard not to" I've