FYI (if you’re a teenage girl)

Dear girls,

I have some information that might interest you. Last night, as we sometimes do, our family sat around the dining-room table and looked through your social media photos.

We have teenage sons, and so naturally there are quite a few pictures of you lovely ladies to wade through. Wow – you sure took a bunch of selfies in your pajamas this summer!  Your bedrooms are so cute! Our eight-year-old daughter brought this to our attention, because with three older brothers who have rooms that smell like stinky cheese, she notices girly details like that.

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I think the boys notice other things. For one, it appears that you are not wearing a bra.

I get it – you’re in your room, so you’re heading to bed, right? But then I can’t help but notice the red carpet pose, the extra-arched back, and the sultry pout.  What’s up? None of these positions is one I naturally assume before sleep, this I know.

So, here’s the bit that I think is important for you to realize.  If you are friends with a Hall boy on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter, then you are friends with the whole Hall family.

Please understand this, also: we genuinely like keeping up with you. We enjoy seeing life through your unique and colorful lens – which is what makes your latest self-portrait so extremely unfortunate.

Those posts don’t reflect who you are! We think you are lovely and interesting, and usually very smart. But, we had to cringe and wonder what you were trying to do? Who are you trying to reach? What are you trying to say?

And now – big bummer – we have to block your posts. Because, the reason we have these (sometimes awkward) family conversations around the table is that we care about our sons, just as we know your parents care about you.

I know your family would not be thrilled at the thought of my teenage boys seeing you only in your towel. Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t ever un-see it?  You don’t want the Hall boys to only think of you in this sexual way, do you?

Neither do we.

And so, in our house, there are no second chances, ladies. If you want to stay friendly with the Hall men, you’ll have to keep your clothes on, and your posts decent.  If you try to post a sexy selfie, or an inappropriate YouTube video – even once – you’ll be booted off our on-line island.

I know that sounds harsh and old-school, but that’s just the way it is under this roof for a while. We hope to raise men with a strong moral compass, and men of integrity don’t linger over pictures of scantily clad high-school girls.

Every day I pray for the women my boys will love.  I hope they will be drawn to real beauties, the kind of women who will leave them better people in the end. I also pray that my sons will be worthy of this kind of woman, that they will be patient – and act honorably – while they wait for her.

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Girls, it’s not too late! If you think you’ve made an on-line mistake (we all do – don’t fret – I’ve made some doozies), RUN to your accounts and take down  anything that makes it easy for your male friends to imagine you naked in your bedroom.

Will you trust me? There are boys out there waiting and hoping for women of character. Some young men are fighting the daily uphill battle to keep their minds pure, and their thoughts praiseworthy.

You are growing into a real beauty, inside and out.

Act like her, speak like her, post like her.

I’m glad we’re friends.

Mrs. Hall

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326 Responses to FYI (if you’re a teenage girl)

  1. Judy Everswick says:

    Love it!!

    You go girl!

    Especially love getting Mid week blogs and not having to wait til Friday

  2. Anonymous says:

    Fantastic post. We need this in todays world!

  3. Anonymous says:

    Fantastic Kim, well said.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Amen! Thank you Kim! I’m forwarding this to some of our high school friends in other towns too! Well said. :)

  5. Stephanie fuller says:

    I loved this post…and all of your posts. Makes me so glad FB wasn’t around at that age when my poor decisions might be forever left in cyber space!:)

  6. Anonymous says:

    You are a gift!!! This is wonderful!!!

  7. carole says:

    Great post! I shared it and saved it to share with my kids for when they are older. Thank you! :)

    If I may ask a question that a friend brought up because her young (8yo) daughter looked over her shoulder as she was reading this and commented on how muscular and good-looking your boys are (and they are!): where do we draw the line for pictures of boys? I know these aren’t in “sexy” poses or anything, and women don’t usually have the struggle with mental pictures that men often have, but technically they *are* fairly scantily-clad, and doing things to show strength which is what most women find alluring. Not trying to be critical, like I said, LOVE the article! Just wondering your take on the girls vs boys photo thing. Would girls in swimsuits be okay if they weren’t posing sexily? Bikinis or no?

  8. I second the poster who thought that you should reconsider these photos of your boys. I agree with everything you said about the girls’ poses but these are also not something I’d like to see my girls linger over. Ironic to find them in such a post. It goes both ways!

  9. Anonymous says:

    Well said Kim xx

  10. Jennifer says:

    I agree!! I have taught this lesson to my daughter many times, so tough when so many teenage girls aren’t modest.
    I do agree with the others that find it ironic that you chose pics of your boys shirtless. I wouldn’t allow my daughter to have friends who post shirtless. Just a thought, it does go both ways with the rules at our house.

  11. Jennifer says:

    I agree!! I have taught this to my daughter many times, so tough when so many teenage girls aren’t modest. I also agree with the others who find ironic that you posted pics of your boys shirtless. I wouldn’t allow my daughter to be friends with boys who pose shirtless. It goes both ways with the rules at our house.

  12. I appreciate the thoughts in this post (and do agree!) but I find it a bit funny & thought-provoking that you decided to illustrate this post with pictures of your boys (?) in their swim suits. They are good-looking young guys and of course that is perfectly normal and acceptable for them to be in their swim trunks, but couldn’t a young teenage girl looking at that with friends be led to talk about them looking “hot” or whatever if they were popping up in their instagram account? (My oldest is an almost 10 year old girl who has no interest in boys, so not too sure yet how teen girls think!) I really want to know if this could be an issue for some girls (or guys) or not really.

  13. Stef says:

    I thought the same things as others. Great message for girls! But, I can’t show this to my girls…I can only read it to them tonight because you have your handsome sons half dressed???

  14. alaska-shivers says:

    This is so ironic… why would you post these pice of your sons while bashing the girls? In the end it comes of as… gasp… self righteous…

  15. Anonymous says:

    This is brilliant. I will read it to our two teenage girls tonight. These girls have no idea what they are doing. They are simply trying to find their way. Keep writing.

  16. Monique says:

    SO interesting to read these comments. I am a mom to five grown married daughters so I really appreciated your thoughts. I was however so surprised that you choose beach photos of your guys to post. I instantly had a check in my spirit. At first I thought, well maybe she is going to make a point that these kind of photos of her boys would not be allowed to be posted either. Otherwise, loved all that you had to share.

  17. Anonymous says:

    as much as i enjoyed this post & the message is “right on” – i agree w/those who mentioned the pictures of your boys & husband. would it not have been just as appropriate to post picts of them in t-shirt & shorts?

  18. Denise Tolton says:

    I thought you might appreciate this perspective. I pray the girls will too if you decide to share it with them.

    Love Mom

    Sent from my Verizon Wireless Device

  19. Mr. Gwynne says:

    A.W.E.S.O.M.E.
    -Mr. G.

  20. Anonymous says:

    I can’t tell you how much I love this. One problem is that parents just don’t patrol what’s on line. Another is that they think all the sexy pictures are cute. You didn’t mention all the sexy beach pictures but I guess that goes without saying. I hope your boys do go for the girls with high morals cause it’s a lonely world for those girls in middle school.

  21. Mrs. Colley says:

    Thank you!! My words exactly as I try and raise two teenage boys myself. Will be sharing this with them.

  22. Hello Pot, meet Kettle. It’s not okay for girls to post pics of themselves in a vaguely-sexual pose.. but lets totally put pics of our teenage boys/husbands in wet swimsuits and muscle poses up for the world to see. Seems logical to me.

  23. K says:

    Thanks Mrs. Hall you hit the nail on the head…beautiful, wonderful and enlightening post. I may need to send this to the girls that post to my son when you said wow I know where that came from thanks again

  24. Anonymous says:

    I see you have had some bashing here for the pics of your sons in swim trunks. I think we need to consider the different circumstances. They are playing at the beach. The poses are not provocative (arched back, pouty lips……we have all seen those teen girls and the pose I am refering to). I have both sons and a daughter and I hope to teach each to be modest. To me that is not just what you wear but how you wear it. If the boys were posed in speedos on their beds with a come hither pouty bad boy look – then there would be something to throw rocks over. Good message for the male and female.

  25. Isha says:

    AWKWARD. Your message to girls falls flat when coupled with your very sexy young sons (and hisband?) frollicking half dressed all shiny and wet. Girls need to guard their thoughts too.

  26. This is such a respectful, heartfelt plea to young ladies today. As a youth worker, I believe that this is vital for young ladies to understand. I will be reading this to my youth group tonight.

  27. Mrs. Hall
    Well said. We are right in the thick of it with you in raising three teens. Thank you for your kind yet bold approach. May I be so bold as to encourage you to consider the other side of modesty. We link arms with you in your approach and your standard. But we also hold our boys to the same thing. Our teen boys have great tans from the 3 weeks we spent at the beach and they do all they can to pump up their teen aged six-pack but they must guard their hearts and not share posts that may cause they teen aged female followers to linger too long on their photos. For us there is no double standard. We don’t post photos of pictures of our daughter or our sons that may be a temptation. No bare-chested selfies or group shots. You want it posted…put on a shirt. Easy.

    Thanks again for your great post. Looking forward to see how you use the responses you get to think even harder about what it might mean to be men of integrity on both sides of the photo.

    Grace to you,
    Eliza

  28. Anonymous says:

    I can understand some of the posts referencing the boys without shirts. Modesty applies to all. However, just to provide perspective, it is known that men (and boys of pubescence and beyond) are stimulated by sight. Ladies (and girls) are not nearly ‘turned on’ by what they see and far more motivated by what they “feel” – either physically or emotionally.

    After dealing with Christian teenagers for 30 years, one thing I have learned is that without proper guidance boys will say they “love” a girl just to get physical gratification, and girls will give up their purity just to hear boys say they “love” them.

    God simply designed males and females differently.

    Unfortunately, in our current culture, human nature is turned on its ear and the world at large is purporting lies as truth when it comes to purity and God’s design for human sexual relationships. The result is frustration and sorrow beyond measure.

    While the author may have used different illustrations, the message is no less true or needed. I applaud parents who care enough about their children to provide distinct guidelines. As the father of two daughters, I could be no more blessed than to know that the parents of their future husbands made such an effort to keep their minds pure.

  29. Anonymous says:

    An important message to everybody today. Thanks for your courage in writing this. A subject to be discussed at home and in church.

  30. The words of your post are a very good word. However, as the father of girls, I would probably block them from being friends with you over this blog that has several pictures of scantily clad boys.

  31. When in the world will we stop telling women to be ashamed of their bodies!? How about you teach your sons to respect women? Seems like a much easier solution. “Son, don’t be a creep”. Was that so hard? Why then would so many people rather jump through hoop after hoop in their attempt to control every possible piece of visual information that could reach their children?

    Stop attacking everyone’s daughters, and start shaping your sons into men who view and treat women as equals.

    I’m just worried that the primary message you are sending your sons is that it is the responsibility of every women they encounter to make sure they aren’t exposed to something sexually stimulating. This message damages men and it is entirely unfair for all women. The primary message should be “son, it is your responsibility to control yourself. No one else is responsible for how you think, act, or fantasize. Don’t blame women for your desires. It is not the job of all women to look and act just how you need them to for you to not be attracted to them. It is your job to treat women as people. It is your job to understand your sexuality. It is your job to conduct yourself with integrity.”

    Do you not trust your sons? Do you really view your sons in such a negative light that you had to compose this elaborate and often times accusatory, insulting, or belittling essay directed to every girl they have or may encounter rather than trust them with the responsibility?

    I view this essay as very damaging. You have taught your sons to blame others for their own behaviors and thoughts, and you have added to the myriad of voices already placing shame and blame on young women.

    Also, you are actively combing through the social media pages of teenage girls? You don’t see how this is a bit odd?

  32. In todays society, a shirtless man, (or young man) is not necesarilly a sexually provocative sight. Notice the boys pants are either knee length or almost knee length. A shirtless female is always a sexually attractive sight. So, if you find the boys sexually attractive or their poses inapproriate, then by all means unfreind or block them. Hypocrisy would say you have no right to block them. However, this family is laying a clear foundation as to what is acceptable to their family, not what is acceptable to anyone else’s family, especially the naysayers on the comment list.

  33. Nancy says:

    Best post, by a parent, I have ever seen:)

  34. Anonymous says:

    I am the mother of a grown woman with a young girl of her own & am older & more experienced than you are. I must say I kept wondering & am still wondering why you posted pics of your sons scantily clad. They are just goofing around but of all the pics you must have of your sons, I’m curious what your reason for these pics was? Everything you stated would have so much more impact if you had chosen pics of your boys fully covered. The one with you & one of your sons was so sweet & shows mutual affection between you & wholesomeness. The other ones raise questions when included with your post. I certainly agree with what you said but you know how things can be misinterpreted when they’re read? I think your post would have been taken much more seriously if you had chosen different pics. It isn’t too late to change the pics & make a stronger statement to others who will read your post. Actions speak louder than words & I’m concerned that your action of posting these pics speaks louder than your words do. I may have a point since I read comments from many others who questioned the pics along with your statements. Frankly, you didn’t need any pics. The words alone would suffice.

  35. Other things to consider:

    1. Women are attracted to men. It is a lame lie that women aren’t visually stimulated. They are.
    2. Let’s pretend women aren’t visually stimulated. What about other males? What if some of your sons’ friends are attracted to other males? Why then is it ok for your sons to have pictures half naked and flexing? Shouldn’t you follow your own guidelines?
    3. Your comment about males not being able to unsee is revolting. Men aren’t disgusting pigs. We are fully capable of operating apart from our sexuality. You honestly need to have higher standards for the men in your life. And maybe more accurately, you need to stop telling the men in your life that they are disgusting and incapable of operating outside of a hyper-sexualized lens.

    Mrs. Hall, I am obviously having an impassioned response to your article. I apologize if my tone is too harsh or if it is comes across as rude for the sake of being rude. I don’t intend to harass you, but I do honestly think you are very misguided. You clearly have a heart that wants what is best for your family, and that is worth celebrating, but I would strongly urge you to reconsider your approach and perspective on the issues in this article.

  36. Marie says:

    I must agree with several of the other commentators: why is it okay to talk about the woes of scantily clad young women when you’re revealing your sons to be half-naked in all but one picture? I also have great issue with the stereotype that boys can’t just “unsee” something… but girls can?
    I can’t unsee your very attractive, athletically built sons. I am married, though childless at the moment. But I must say that when teaching my sons and daughters about modesty (which, as a side note, I believe is about bearing your soul appropriately, through your clothing, not covering up your body) I will be unable to reference this article. It sends a message that was sent to me, and sent to my friends and my husband as we were all growing up that now we desperately want to change: that there are different standards between boys and girls for sexuality, modesty, and well basically anything. If I apply a rule to my daughters, I apply it to my sons. Therefore, your sons’ posts (assuming they have similar pictures on facebook) would be blocked from my daughters’ newsfeed.
    While science may show that pubescent boys and girls respond to imaging differently, is that really biological or is it sociological? From day 1, girls are taught that boys only want sex and we ladies need to get the guy to love us first and boys are taught that it’s okay to treat a woman as an object because she’s beautiful but then blame her for his lust because he’s just driven by imaging. It’s degrading to both of the gendered humans. I take great offense that, because I am female, I will not struggle with just wanting sex. It puts God’s creation in too tight of a box. There is no freedom to find healing from the sinful nature. Instead, it says that there is something wrong with me because I am not a “normal” girl who prefers roses to intercourse. A man who chooses to wait until his wedding day to have sex is considered a “wimp” and comments about his sexuality are made. Yet, a woman who does NOT choose to wait until her wedding day is a used-up slut. Where do these stereotypes come from? I believe they originate in the sociological training of our young ones that girls are this way and boys are this way.
    I appreciate what you’re trying to do, Mrs. Hall. I really do. I think you made some excellent remarks about modesty. I just would ask you to apply the same rules to your sons, as well.

  37. Anonymous says:

    I was thoroughly enjoying this post and in complete agreement, until gradually, the words no longer mattered as I continued to see half naked pictures of your teenage boys. I love your words and while I am in complete agreement, I do believe that you killed your credibility with your sons pictures. I am NOT someone who has dealt with “christian teenagers” for the last 30 years but I am a mother with a teenage daughter who ALSO lives in a world that is driven by sex. While I do believe that men are stimulated visually and women emotionally, TODAY, young lady’s are stimulated visually as well. The young “christian” girls that I know are also receiving pics of shirtless boys and have become accustomed or mentally trained to visually approve of a sexy boy picture. Mrs Hall, with all due respect, unless you change something in regards to the message your sons are sending (obviously you are oblivious as you have encouraged it) Your sons will draw the exact same attention that you so carefully tried to prevent. Temptations arise from both sexes. Job 3:25 That which I feared the most came upon me. God bless you and your family Mrs Hall and good luck to you.

  38. Anonymous says:

    Oh my.. I have to say that I disagree that you can relate the pictures of the boys to what the poster is talking about in her post. The pictures of the boys could be placed on the wall in your home, for other family members to see, and guests.. no embarrasement, however, the kind of pictures that she is talking about are not WALL-WORTHY in the house nor should they be on the facebook “Wall”..

  39. Jenáe Goede says:

    Hello, I just want to say that I was blown away by your post. Oftentimes while praying over my girls, I also pray for their husbands to be. I’m left wondering if there will be any pure hearted young men available when my girls are ready to take their next step in life. It does my mother’s heart good to know that such young men do exist!

    I will keep you and your family in prayer as you endeavor to counteract our very loose and liberal culture. I can only hope that my daughters will be fortunate enough to meet young men who have parents like you. This was so encouraging! Thank you!

    From the heart of a Homeschool Mom

  40. Great post and a great reminder for us girls. Here is one for you, though. I am with some of the other commenters on this post who didn’t like the photos of your boys without shirts on. What is up with that? I skipped a bunch of your article as I didn’t want to be looking at those photos. My brothers never go without shirts, even when swimming with just our family. It isn’t legalism, it is just modesty.

  41. Rae says:

    I agree with Kyle in the sense that this is damaging to women to feel that they have to hide themselves from all men who are looking on only with perversion at anything they do. Why is it our jobs to prevent your sons or any man from thinking “impure” thoughts.

  42. Mom2Two says:

    LOVED the words written… however, I agree with others that the pics are inappropriate coupled with the message. Girls won’t be able to “unsee” these pics either.

  43. Anonymous says:

    I really like what you have to say…but if you are encouraging you ladies to post decent photos, then why did you post pictures of your boys without shirts in muscle poses…Girls can just as easily be tempted with these photos while they overlook your amazing and honest insight.

  44. Kristene Edwards says:

    You rock!!!!!! I want to be just half as good of a mom you are.

    K

  45. Here’s an idea instead of bashing this mom for posting pics of her boys, copy and paste the blog, remove the pictures and email it to your daughters. The message is one I agree with. Making the necessary modifications so that the message is best received by my girl without distraction. Thanks Mrs. Hall!

  46. aqua66 says:

    Funny how you reprimand teenage girls for posting photos of themselves without bras under their shirts or only in towels while posting a photo of your own sons while they flex their muscles and pose topless. By your own logic, I will now only see them in a sexual manner. Only this is not funny. What a hypocrite.

    Your sons’ dirty thoughts are their own and their own to deal with, not these girls. It’s not simply old fashioned as you say, it is sexist and hypocritical. You might really assess what message you’re sending to your sons when you post this kind of drivel.

  47. Ben says:

    I wanted to love the article too, but the “Boom, Boom, Firepower” poses reminded me of the infamous “shirt held up showing my 6-pack” provocative boys’ selfie compiled all over the internet. It’s a shame that I only walked away with the thoughts of hypocrisy with such a well written article. I would remove those pics, explain to my sons how that might seem like a double standard, and repost the article. Because, fortunately in my book, there are second chances =)

  48. concerned father says:

    As a father of a 13 year old daughter, I applaud this article. NO, a standing ovation! It is a great article for all girls to read. From a father’s point of view, I do not understand why it is okay for boys, not men I would want my daughter to date, to post photos of them with their swimsuits or shorts so low on their waist that it leave little to the imagination of a young lady, nor do the “I got abs” photos that are posted, and sometimes sent to my daughter, before she go her Ipod and phone taken way until she matures enough to know what is and is not acceptable to get from boys. If my daughter were to read this article she would only get lost in the photos that accompanied the article. Again, I agree that girls need to have more respect for themselves than to post such photos, but I would hope a young man would do the same when posted photos of himself. Who are we kidding here! It is not a gender issue, it is a morality issue. Do not just blame the girls whom your family befriends; set the standard high for all genders.

  49. Josh says:

    So one question then why are your boys shirtless in the pic you have on this page and also posing as to show off their muscles. Seems a bit do as I say not as I do if you ask me!

  50. Given Breath says:

    Um…OK?

    Since I usually have the audience of about 19 people – and I average one comment from either my mom or grandma, I’m a bit unnerved.

    I didn’t put any thought into those pictures. I should have, huh? Thought is really important for writers.

    That said, do I think those family pictures are in any way sexual? No.

    Am I surprised that people might think they are? Yes, actually.

    Have I ever been totally wrong before, and needed correction? Too many times to count:)

    Could this be one of those times? Absolutely.

    If I could take another minute of your time: the pictures I refer to in the post, as I mentioned, are ones taken by young ladies in closets, bedrooms, and closed-door private places. In the hundreds of fun teenage-girl summer photos we see (many at the beach), these bedroom pics are notably different and more provocative, even to the casual observer.

    Do I think this is a different situation than a photo taken with your siblings, or your dad, on a public beach? Why, yes.

    My main hope in writing this was not to muddy the water (and I regret my pictures may have done exactly that) but for our young people and their parents to grow in wisdom and joy. I am truly sorry if my pictures troubled you, or if you still see a double-standard.

    Thank you for your thoughts, especially those who were gracious. You’ve given me much to consider as I press on in parenting, and faith (and writing) and I humbly ask for your continued prayers as I do so.

    Peace, to you and yours,

    Kim

  51. Anonymous says:

    I agree, double standard here. Your intent was good, but the delivery failed. Cover up your sons too, and then preach to the choir.

  52. Mamacat says:

    Perhaps not the best pics to use for the subject matter, but not wholly inappropriate, either. I find the issue to be contextual in nature: the pj-clad girl sans bra with a torso thrust in her boudoir vs. boys on the beach in long boxers horsing around and posing for the camera. Which picture would your parents display in the den? Apples and oranges, really.

  53. Anonymous says:

    My hat is off to you!!! Wish we had more parents watching their kids that close….Nothing wrong with “Old School”

  54. David says:

    Josh, you’re sexualizing teenage boys in swimsuits? We played shirts and skins in P.E. in elementary for crying out loud. There is a huge difference between being perfectly modest in a normal fashion, and taking self portraits the give the image of being sexy or the intent of looking sultry. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not the fault of anyone here that women have more to cover than men, either. It’s just the way we’re made.

  55. Aly says:

    She was spot on in the article…I did find it awkward that she posted multiple pictures of her boys shirtless etc. And no, I do not have a problem letting boys go shirtless at the beach…or even taking pics and posting them on Facebook…but in the spirit of the article it did not make sense. It just seemed off that she was making such a GREAT point about girls being modest etc in the pictures that they post…she has some good looking teenage boys…I did think the shirtless, “muscle” poses might have caused some girls some issues too…oh well…taking away the pics she used to illustrate, I think it was a GREAT article! =) Well worth the read…but if you have young teenage daughters I might read it aloud to them instead of having them read it themselves…as the photos sent mixed messages or alluded to a double standard!

  56. Jenáe Goede says:

    I do agree with the last comment that both genders should take a more modest approach. By choice, my girls turn away from certain advertising with a sexual undertone, however, at the beach it is common sense that all participants will be in less clothing. There is a massive difference between a girl posing with the intent of exuding her sexuality and brothers playing with their little sister on the beach. Honestly, intent is most of the equation. A bedroom is easily equated with activities of a sexual nature….. boys on a beach fooling around is hardly sexual. Why was Gidget and her buddies on the beach never equated with sex? Because of the intent. However, two people giving the look as they disrobe in a bedroom leads an audience to one place only.
    So rather than picking every detail of the original post apart, look at the big picture, the heart of the message, and appreciate that someone else is trying to encourage self-worth to girls who are desperate for the wrong kind of attention. The bigger picture people, is what should be focused on, not the petty details. If more parents were clued in and doing their job, this woman wouldn’t have to be.

  57. Anonymous says:

    Nice picture. Double-standard, much? The double standard regarding “modesty” in Christian circles appalls me. This seems to be yet another woman-shaming post where no one cares what the men wear. No thanks.

  58. D. J. Haas says:

    I am not saying I know exactly where to draw the line here, but I am a Wife of 26 years, a mother of 2 men and one women and a grandmother to a 4 year old girl. I also am a leader of Christian teens. The fact is girls are taught to flaunt their sexuality and boys can’t help seeing it everywhere. Modesty needs to be taught to both sexes and sex needs to be brought back to something special between one man and one woman that make a commitment for life. God created it to be beautiful and all that the world tells you is that it is fun and always exciting. That isn’t true nor the full picture. The wrong kind of sex and the wrong timing has awful consequences for both males and female. It can leave you feeling like something is wrong with you because it didn’t work like in the movies and no one tells you why. We keep it too much of a mystery and then they want to try it all the more. There are other pleasures in the world to be discovered that don’t have such life-long consequences. As for women being visual I say yes we are. Don’t tell me you have never just looked at your husband doing some everyday thing and suddenly found him sexy. I find my husband sexy with out his shirt on. Girls look as much as boys and they judge them to be worthy of the “first time” or not more by sight then not. Why else do they giggle over the “cute” ones only? We all have to be careful to stay pure in thought and deed. A good parent monitors and sets examples while applying what they believe is best for their family. Keep being good parents, you will keep making mistakes, but I congratulate those that do what they believe is best.

  59. Amanda says:

    Well, while I may agree 100%……I do agree with the fact the boys in swim trunks was perhaps an ill choice, albeit, boys obviously don’t wear shirts swimming, its the point of the post that seems to loose punch. Girls are, simply put, stimulated by visual pics nowadays. A product of the society. Was it once weighed heavily in the male corner only yes, but not so now. I have two of each sex and two are teens. I promote modesty in both their lives. I was a youth leader for 2yrs and several girls struggled with lust. Visual lust. So, I would like to encourage you that the sum total of your article is WONDERFUL we do the same. The little blurb of pic choices need NOT take away from that!!!!
    God Bless

  60. Ondrea says:

    Double standard

  61. Anonymous says:

    Seriously, can we get you to start a parent organization? Cause the world needs more parents like you guys…
    I applaud you..YOU ROCK MOM!

  62. So boys’ bodies are wholesome and girls’ bodies are filthy. Gotcha.

  63. anonymous says:

    Its a family photo, her daughter is there too. Really people? You can’t see the difference between a beach photo and a photo of a girl in a sexual pose on a bed? Wow.
    I think it was an extremely well worded post.

  64. WOW!! Being the mother of four boys and two girls, everything I have prayed for and taught my children for the past 23 years is in your brain!!! How does that happen? Thank you for putting on paper what a lot of us protective and caring and loving parents think every day. God Bless! ~Linda

  65. Stuart Hall says:

    Same goes for pictures of the boys just in swimsuits. There are girls out there who judge a boy by his physical appearance instead of the character they exhibit. The Internet is good as is social media as long as we remind and teach our children the consequences of improper poses or posts. If a girl in too brief a swimsuit is wrong so too are some pictures of guys poses, strutting like peacocks trying to gain the attention of females. But I agree with everything you said. Another thought: Magic Mike, ladies went for the written word and story, not the scenes of half to completely naked Channing Tatum et. al.? Or Tiger Beat with the young shirtless “studs?” If you want to show your guys having fun at the beach and share with family, send privately. You put it out there for all to see, it’s there for good. Not everyone on the social media has pure intentions, male or female. Some female teachers have gotten in trouble by being overly fond of good looking young men. Just be careful ALL parents which is what I think this post is truly about.

  66. ilyston says:

    I liked the post, but I agree with the posts about having your boys modest themselves! Sorry to say it, but it modesty is a two way road.

  67. Wendy says:

    I saw this link in my facebook news feed. As the mother of four (two girls and two boys), the title peaked my interest, so I clicked on it and began to read. The photos immediately stirred something in my spirit, as they certainly don’t match Mrs. Hall’s words and admonitions.

    I dislike provocative selfies (of girls AND boys) as much as the next mom. However, I think we need to be VERY, VERY careful to avoid putting the responsibility for purity on the shoulders of girls and women. Blaming them for their provocative dress, poses, flirting, etc. is a dangerous precedent. It is often the reason boys and men are not held fully accountable for their “impure” actions toward girls/women.

    I agree with other commenters that girls/women are sexual beings too. We are stimulated visually as well, and thus, we ALL have the responsibility to understand and protect ourselves. My message to my sons and daughters is not to judge and blame others but to be accountable for themselves.

  68. Marisa says:

    Sigh. Once again it’s “Girls, cover up your shameful bodies, boys will be boys and they can’t help themselves,” etc. etc. Why are women always asked to cover up and men are never asked to control themselves? Why? Also, I would like to put this whole “women are not turned on visually as easily as men are” myth to rest. I can assure you that I, and all of my heterosexual female friends, have absolutely NO trouble imagining attractive men unclothed, and doing all manner of naughty things with them, and getting extremely turned on by said imaginings. Desire does not favor one gender over the other; it burns brightly in both. If we expect our daughters to dress and behave modestly, we should expect our sons to do the same. Period.

  69. brgulker says:

    But if you’re a teenage guy, by all means prance around half naked and let your mom posts pictures of you on the internet.

    Do you see the double standard here?

  70. Robin Whetzel says:

    I absolutely agree with your post….but, I have a question! Are you not at all concerned with the girls having impure thoughts about your boys? I believe, and its my opinion, that modesty is best with both genders…..and if my son walking around with no shirt, showing off muscles, is going to cause young ladies to think about his body instead of him as a person, then he needs to be covered as well…..it works both ways in our house!

  71. Dawn says:

    I also wanted to like this article. I rarely post pictures of myself in a bathing suit because I know that some men out there will view me like what you are talking about and for me personally, I do not want strangers viewing me that way. However, that is my own decision from my personal convictions, NOT due to someone else trying to dictate what I do or do not post. Whether or not you like it, if you succeed in getting one girl to second guess her posts, there will be hundreds of other sexually explicit images that will come in their place. I’m sure many of us find these images offensive and sexually suggestive, however it is the world we live in and they will always be there even if you succeed in changing the minds of many of the girls in your immediate circle (which I also believe is midguided because you are teaching the women to be ashamed of themselves and live in a world where its okay for men to treat women poorly and simply view them as sexual objects.)
    I think the focus of this article is one of blame shifting and controlling rather than learning to raise your boys. Rather than try to shield them from what’s out there (which will be worse when they leave your home), your time might be better spent developing the character and integrity of your boys so that they view girls as fellow humans. I would encourage you to teach them to emulate Jesus…to be able to be in the world, but not of it. Look how Jesus hung out with ‘sinners’ and in the low places and brought with Him a pure heart, not the sort of views it seems you are perpetuating in your home. Teach them to see a naked woman and be the sort of man who would walk up and offer her cover rather than be at the whim of their hormones rather then the compassion they have which tells them this is a human being, not an object.
    Finally, I’m concerned about the message you are sending both your boys and girls…that their body, and furthermore, their sexuality is something they should be ashamed of. As much as I also dislike seeing young girls posting the pictures you’re talking about, you must understand that adolescents and that everyone is a sexual person. The urges you are talking about is part of how we procreate. Sex is a gift given to us by God, not something dirty. Yes, many girls and boys make stupid decisions in what they post and how they behave when coming into their own sexuality. Everyone understands that. But, I implore you to understand your children are also ‘sexual’ human beings as well as ‘good’ human beings made in the image of God. It is not one or the other and I hope you can come to peace with that.
    You are free to raise your children however you wish, but honestly I do not believe the ‘hide and shame’ method works and am concerned for your children and the obvious double standard here that others have mentioned as well.

  72. Mia says:

    Sounds like it’s blaming everything on the girl as usual. “Don’t tempt the boys!”

  73. BlessedMomof5 says:

    I applaud you Kim. Great job. I have 3 daughters and 2 sons. I review their facebooks as well and will delete their account if they are posting things they should not. Or delete friends that post inappropriately, including boys. Yes, could have posted a different picture for your purpose but the ones who are saying negative things, are the ones probably doing it or allowing their daughters to post it. Boys in bathing suits on the beach is appropriate in public. GIrls in just a towel or pj’s without a bra in their bedroom,NOT appropriate! Like they say, “when you throw a rock among a bunch of dogs, the only ones that yelp are the ones that get hit”.
    Stay strong and a brick wall when it comes to this issue. If you give a mouse a cookie……..

  74. Brina says:

    As a mom of 3 boys (11, 9, 7) that are inching closer to teenagedom and 1 daughter not quite 3, I love this! They aren’t on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter yet, but there will be evenings much like this in our home one day. Thanks!

  75. Gabrielle says:

    What an excellently written article, Kim! Our fellowship recently hosted a purity conference in Cape Town which was well attended, clearly highlighting the thirst for many to guard their purity.
    With the news rampant with stories of women & children raped & subjected to horrendous abuses, I applaud you for being a family that takes a stand to help your sons see women as being worthy of dignity & respect.
    I loved the pics you posted! I’m a mum of a teen boys & what I saw was beautiful family memories on a summer’s day. I’m guessing that’s the spirit it was intended to be posted with. The pics of the boys together & the one of you & your son together brought a heartwarming smile. The one of your son alone, slightly angled away, made me feel wistful – a time for contemplation. I’m disturbed by some of the mudslinging thats resulted at the bottom of the post because of the pucs, but I guess we all see life through different frames of reference.
    It takes courage to share your convictions in a public forum. Thank you for doing it with strength & without apology. I stand alongside you raising sons who are taught to treat women with dignity & respect. To guard the hearts, feelings & purity of the young ladies they interact with. I too pray for the parents raising the future wives of my sons, that their daughters will be women of Godly character & principles.

  76. Laura Wayland says:

    amen!!

  77. Can I reserve 2 of your boys for my girls for later when they’re all grown up and looking for each other? Thank you for this post…gonna share it with my girls…and probably others!

  78. Dean says:

    So, it is ok for your boys to run around shirtless on the beach, but if a girl arches her back too far, they get the boot? Baloney. This whole modesty conversation, girls are special flowers ‘under the coverings of their daddies’ is ridiculous. Boys have impure thoughts because they are boys. Teach your boys how to deal effectively with their sexuality; parents of girls should do the same. You didn’t grow up in some kind of prudish era where no one had sex outside of marriage. Be realistic with your children. And, stop encouraging double standards between girls and boys. It weakens girls’ power over their own sexuality, experience of themselves, and confidence in themselves. I’ve seen this happen to young women I grew up with.

  79. Libby says:

    Love this! Such a needed message in the world I live. I would love to pass it along, but…I actually hide most beach/pool photos because of this reasons you make in your blog post.
    Unfortunately, I have some FB preteen/teen girls who would be going on & on about the pic with the good looking guys in their swim shorts. I guess it goes both ways.
    Thanks so much for addressing this issue and don’t stop leading the way for the rest.

  80. Anonymous says:

    If you look at the provocative “selfies” most posted by boys (or sent via phone to girls), they’re generally shirtless and striking a flexing pose. Does the context matter? (Beach vs. Bedroom) If the image is the same (shirtless and flexing)? I understand the point of the post, and it’s not something I totally disagree with, but while I monitor a lot of my kids’ online interactions while they’re young, they have to learn to navigate the waters themselves at some points also. My girls are going to see pics of boys with their shirts off. My boys are going to have Facebook friends that post provocative selfies. I teach them to do the same thing I want them to do in real life, when confronted with someone who is dressed/acting in a way that might tempt them; avert your eyes, and learn to control your thoughts. If it’s necessary to change company, then do that. But keep a spirit of love for the other person. Their ideas about dress and modesty might differ from yours (the way a burqa wearer’s might differ from ours), but they’re no less a child of God, and no less deserving of respect. (One mom’s opinion).

  81. shanon says:

    Liked the message for my daughter, but why was it important to include ‘half-clothed” pictures of your boys in this post? I like to teach modesty to my boys as well.

  82. Anonymous says:

    I am glad there are parents rearing their boys the way we are our girls. We are teaching them that dating is for marriage and that there is no need to “go out” until you are ready to make that step in your life. There is plenty of time to do the “grown up” stuff in life and the kid time is far too short to waste. We pray that our kids future spouses will be Christ followers that have made the tough decisions to honor God and their bodies by waiting. I see nothing wrong with the pictures of your kids on the beach as it was obviously intended to be pictures of and for the family, not them posting “selfies” in order to look attractive to someone else.

  83. Sook says:

    What a great post! I am glad that you have rules in your home to better your boys and to teach them strong moral values! I feel the same way about everything you said.

  84. Renee says:

    LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! I just had almost this exact conversation with the girl my son is dating over some of her posts. Hopefully it made sense and was even encouraging, but I have to leave it in God’s hands now and pray my son will make the right decision.

  85. Cheryl says:

    I am a mother of 6 boys and 2 girls. As I was reading the article I was so happy to see someone saying these things. The first time I saw a picture of one of my daughters friends in her bedroom I was taken back. (even if the pose wasn’t bad). You were right on! I was also a little surprised with the pictures posted of your sons. No, they are not sexual but I often hear girls also talking about, “He is ripped!” or “He is buff.” I agree with the fact that girls look. A family vacation….how fun and they are great pictures. I know you have wonderful memories. Just with the point you made in the letter, which was GREAT, the pictures did not match. Thank you for taking a stand to try to protect your boys!

  86. JayBee says:

    Yup! Double standard. I’d also add, that while men are generally visually stimulated, just trying to protect your son’s eyes is not going to be enough. You need to teach them to examine their hearts when they are tempted to objectify another person (scantily clad or not). Many men will lust even if women are dressed like Little House on the Prairie. Teach your sons to respect ALL people as human even when they choose to present themselves in a one dimensional (in this case sexy) way. Behind every flat image of a young lady (or young man for that matter) is a real person who is simply looking to be loved and respected. Instead of “blocking” those girls out of you and your son’s lives because you deem them slutty (even though you found a very nice way to call them that), why not see them differently and respond to them unexpectedly with respect. Often people will only learn to see themselves differently when others first see them differently and show them their true selves. Teach your sons to SEE WITH DIFFERENT EYES! You underestimate them. They are more than raging hormones. Blessings!

  87. Kristie says:

    I can wholeheartedly agree with the text, for sure. However, modesty was for both Eve and Adam. As far as i read in the Bible, there is no such thing as public situational modesty. Just as you wrote this post about the friends of your sons, I implore you about the same thing with your blog post. My teenage daughters are in the room with me right now, as i read this blog post. Perhaps one of them could walk by just as I scroll down the page and notice the picture of the boys. We shouldn’t think that just because it’s “normal” for males to go without a shirt sometimes that females can’t be attracted to males in such a way it makes them lust. I mean, seriously, my mind can really take me places when I see my husband without a shirt on, as I am sure most wives can relate. It’s not any different with other males. We have to guard our minds and protect our hearts, keeping them pure. It doesn’t matter if they are in their bedroom or on the beach, making pouty faces or just smiling and having fun, if they are lacking in modest clothing, Out of love, Kristie

  88. Kristi says:

    I completely agree with the mother’s thoughts; however, it wreaks of a double standard!! While she scolds young girls for pictures with arched backs and pouty lips, she chose to post a picture of her 4 sons bare chested & with 2 of the 4 making a “muscle” pose. Can’t we assume that a bare chested, muscles out teenage boy has the same effect on a teenage girl as an arched back, pouty lipped teenage girls has on a teenage boy? Yes, it’s time for all our kids to re-think what they post on social media, but it’s way PAST TIME to end the age old double standard!!! Why not hold all our kids to the same standards & stop making girls the trashy vixens and boys the little rascals who just can’t help themselves.

  89. Bobbie says:

    My son and daughter wear less swimsuit when they swim competitively – nobody sits around commenting on how skimpy or sexy they look. It’s just swimwear and it’s for sport. Those photos are no more provocative then the ones taken of my child in their swim season photo. The message is a great one. I support it entirely. And yes – the message is for both guys and gals – always keep your future spouse in mind- and respect the person you are talking to as an individual, not an object.

  90. Haley Bolton says:

    I completely agree! I love the way you come across in this post– very understanding, forgiving, and loving. Being a 20 year old girl in today’s culture isn’t too easy, but your post encourages me to continue dressing modestly– that attracts the right kind of guy.

  91. carrian says:

    Thank you. I recently had a discussion on my Sweet Basil facebook page with my readers about, you guessed it, Miley and why it’s about attention and approval. I was shocked that there were a few girls defending her and they’re right to be women and show off. Ooops, I guess that they forgot that a sexy pose actually only turns them into an object thus saying, “Please don’t treat me with respect”. THank you for teaching your boys that in this world of lust, they want something that is lasting and amazing. I hope and pray that my girls will one day find honorable young men who will treat them as if they already know their divine potential.

  92. Everyone seems to be caught up on the “double standards” issue…while I think there ARE double standards on display here, I’m worried that the truly alarming nature of this post is being ignored.

    As a few have said, the behaviors and thoughts of your sons are theirs alone. Ultimately, the only person who has control over their behaviors and thoughts are them. I can understand removing stimuli when possible (such as blocking certain people), but I absolutely reject your appeal for every female your sons meet to cater themselves to your standards.

    I reacted so strongly to this article not because of the double standard, but because of the repercussions of telling males that it is the female responsibility to make sure they don’t break their standards for sexual behaviors/thoughts. These repercussions are accessories in the rape-culture America so fully embraces: women are afraid of reporting sexual violence because they are constantly bombarded with messages, messages just like this essay, that tell them it is their fault if males “can’t control themselves”; men rampantly blame their victims.

    If you want to block girls’s social media pages, fine. That is your prerogative. But don’t you dare cast guilt and shame on your sons’ friends while concurrently teaching your sons that it’s easier to ignore than to know how to deal. As others have said, you can only block so many stimuli and for so long; your goal shouldn’t be to have sons who never have to deal with stimuli…your goal should be to have sons who are equipped to deal with any stimuli when they do come…because they will.

  93. Jen says:

    Wow, I love your post, and as a mommy of two young boys, I am especially interested in teaching them about this. There is a huge difference in the picture you posted with your boys at the beach and a girl in her pjs on her bed trying to look sexy. Anyone on here who is saying that is the same thing is not being honest with themselves. Boys and girls are equal ONLY in their WORTH, everything else they are not equal in. So, to treat them the same lacks wisdom, just at it lacks wisdom to treat two people the exact same, everyone is different in everything but WORTH. Girls unfortunately bare too much of themselves online, it’s not what I want for my boys to see or to pursue in a girl. I’m in complete agreement, those friends would be de-friended at once if they acted like that., that’s called wisdom. Yes, the most important thing is to teach my boys what to do with the images and thoughts once they have them, AND one of the things they can do is to stop looking at it, stop putting themselves in situations where they can see that kind of stuff, which means de-friending some people. I likewise do not want to see boys in their underwear trying to be sexy (Beckham’s commercials come to mind) But this is quite rare to see, most of the time it is the girls being inappropriate. Not to say that girls can’t be beautiful, but to act sexy in the their pjs is one of the many things that are highly inappropriate. I can tell you my husband would never have been interested in me if posted that kind of thing for anyone to see, including him.

  94. mb says:

    I once went to a lecture on Islam, and I distinctly remember when the topic of women’s dress code was addressed. She had interviewed several men regarding why they believed women should wear burqas (the full body covering). Every Muslim man told her that if he were to see any part of her body, he would sin – whether in thought or deed (forceful deed, really) – and it would be her fault. Thus, this is why we continue to hear that rape victims in the Middle East are stoned or executed in some other manner. If they were raped, it was their fault. How dare they tempt a man? He could not control himself.

    Before I continue, I will say plainly: Your post does not go to that extreme. But, such thinking is the building blocks for such ideology.

    While I lament the fact that modesty is not what it was, the fact is that reality – the world as it is and not as you think it should be – will continue marching on whether you train up your son well or not. And in that world, women wear revealing clothes. Do I feel like there are good reasons for wearing extremely revealing clothes? No. But I do recognize that if a woman chooses to wear something revealing, that is her choice and hers alone to deal with. If your son goes out into the world – where he cannot demand that people abide by his ideals – he will see a great deal of bare skin. If he chooses to feed off such imagery and continue in it, that is his choice and his alone to deal with.

    We live in a world, as seen in my example of Islamic culture, that has forgotten what it is to choose. We have become so reactionary that we have forgotten that no one can force us to be angry, to hate, to harm. I sometimes recall the harm others have inflicted upon me, and in that moment, grow angry. But they aren’t even there! I chose to dwell on such memories and I alone made myself angry.

    There is only so much of the world around you that you can influence or pretend to control. There will be girls who walk in front of your sons, nearly as naked as the day they were born. And what should they do? Blame her outfit? No, they should be trained to remember that before each reaction, there is a choice. They should learn to slow down and remember that they can choose to feed off such things or let it be. Focus on your boys, and regardless if girls listen or not, it will not be the demon it once was.

    Until then, I feel that such blaming and shaming (is it stockholm syndrome or have you forgotten the ridiculous pressure on women to be ‘attractive’ in hip or Christian culture?) only tells your sons, “It’s their fault that you’re lustful.”

    Not so. A man is one who takes responsibility for his actions and reactions. It can get hard – as it can for me and I am a woman with a highly imaginative mind – but that does not mean that he suddenly is no longer responsible.

  95. Kara says:

    Thank you so much for this! Teenage girls have no idea what they do to boys by trying to be sexual. I have been much enlightened by my husband as to the extreme difference in men and women and just how visually stimulated men are. (Any replies denying this dichotomy are not true and show a defensive person rather than one seeking the truth.). I had no idea what immodesty could do to a guy until I had some very honest guy friends in college and grad school. Teenage girls need to understand their part in not providing further temptations for boys. Thank you for raising your sons to be men of character. As I raise my daughters it gives me a glimmer of hope after looking at a world full of permissive, child-centered parenting, and a morally decaying nation. And do not take these negative posts to heart, ‘in this world you will have trouble…’ Clearly your boys innocence is shown in happy times at the beach, which is in sharp contrast to the intentionally seductive photos of females that was mentioned.

  96. Anonymous says:

    As the mother of a teen son, I must join in and agree that the photos of your sons are inappropriate. I believe that while you are earnest (and correct) in your assessment of the modesty issues surrounding young women and social media, I also believe that you are incorrect when you say that the photos are not sexual in nature. Had the photos been of your children standing together, playing volleyball, building a sandcastle, flying kites or other appropriate beach activity, I would have no issue with them. However, they are purposely posed in such a way as to accentuate their bodies, something that you are adamantly opposed to young women doing.

    Does this mean that I don’t have a problem with inappropriate photos of girls/teens/women on social media? Of course not! A discussion of self-control is definitely in order! Both the girls that are posting these photos and the boys who see them, whether intentionally or unintentionally, must be involved in ongoing discussions with their parents about self-control, self-respect, respect for others, maturity and a host of other characteristics that indicate readiness for a mature relationship.

    There is much more to teaching our teens about relationships than teaching them what we as adults see as inappropriate dress. Generosity, self control, kindness, etc. are a great way to determine the character of a person. Let’s camp out there, instead.

  97. Elizabeth says:

    I hope my daughter meets a man with a mom like you.

  98. Anonymous says:

    This quote has really bothered me: “and men of integrity don’t linger over pictures of scantily clad high-school girls.” I agree, men should not lust over high-school girls. Because men are adults, legally over the age of 18. Girls are children under the age of 18. But I know you don’t mean it like this. You mean it like: I don’t want my sons to linger over pictures of scantily clad high-school girls. And if that’s what you want, then fine. But don’t make your boys out to be mature, adult men and their female peers are mere children; especially when you don’t even trust your boys to have self control over seeing a photo of a female potentially without a bra.

  99. Moe says:

    Ugh…… I understand why parents write these things, really, I do. BUT, as the mother of 4 well endowed teenage daughters, I have to take issue with this. Is it good for women to be modest? Absolutely! My problem comes when these mothers who have sons blame girls for their sons’ inability to look at a girl without a coherent though other than, “WOW, Sexy!!” Last I checked, it says in in the Bible that lust is a sin, and if your eye offends you, pluck it out. Why don’t I see more of these mothers handing out spoons and knives for eye removal? Because it is easier to make the problem the girls’ only, because well, they can change their clothes, and only boys are built that way. Bull. If you have not heard of a series of books taking the world over in the past few years, AIMED at women, WRITTEN by a woman, that is pretty sexually graphic and basically porn for mommies, then you have had your head in the sand. Women are just as visually stimulated as men, there is just more attention paid to the men, through magazines and TV channels. Get over the double standard, people. You are not doing your daughters any favors by teaching her she is responsible for the way a boy thinks, and HIS CHOICE to see her in an objectifying way.

  100. Anonymous says:

    Prudish and controlling. Your boys have normal interests in girls. Get over trying to control and censor normal sexual response.

  101. Stephanie says:

    good perspective!! Totally agree about the half dressed boy pics. I have both boys and girls and think showing lots of skin is not the best idea for pics! Keep up the good work on this open communication!

  102. Pete says:

    The irony of making such a weirdly condescending post while including pictures of your own adolescent sons half-naked is liable to make my head explode. Yay for hypocrisy.

  103. Anonymous says:

    Who are you to tell a girl that she can’t be confident with her body? Understandably, there should be some discretion when girls are of a young age, but to shame them for posting picture which contain no nudity simply because your boys are apparently incapable of controlling themselves is ridiculous. There will always be suggestive images floating around throughout your sons’ lives. What good does it do to shelter them and tell them it is wrong? They should be allowed to choose and make decisions for themselves. This whole post is just so controlling and demeaning I find it sickening.

  104. Anonymous says:

    Wow. Great article! Always going to be those that find something wrong about it. I never once gave a thought to the pictures you chose of your sons. It looks like family friendly beach pics to me so don’t let those that are negative (especially the ones that throw the “double standard” and “Christian” punches) steal anything away from this. :) They are always there waiting to find something wrong with any truth.

  105. Kamiko says:

    i am in a interracial relationship. we weren’t judged by our pats mistakes, there was only 1 requirement. they had to love our spouse, like they love us. those who couldn’t were ejected from my life. im glad you weren’t my mother in-love who treats me as one of her own. she doesn’t mention my past or any mistakes i might have made, she only loves me for loving her son and accepts me as a daughter. oh, and if your sons do happen to find a girl you dont approve of, the more of a stink you make, the more he will love her and eventually make the mistake of marrying her (if she was truly not right for him). i went through 2 mother in-laws who judged me by my past, and because of it, the third mother in-love has enjoyed me for 15 yrs, someone who stood by her son during his cancer when many would have walked away. the girl you reject, could be the love of his lifetime. but i guess that would be his loss, not yours.

  106. Anonymous says:

    I won’t repeat what others have said. But I will add this. I am sure writing this felt very cathartic. You undoubtedly gained a sense of satisfaction putting it on the Internet. In the end, however, it will be ignored by your target audience. The greatest teachers do not preach or grandstand in public. They guide and shape through individual relationships. Teenage girls simply won’t read this because it will be viewed as another clueless mom being dictatorial. Shape the world you live in to effect change in the world. Additionally, stop parenting other people’s kids. Parent your own (as you did by blocking posts) and hope their good raising affects their peer groups or get them better peers. So far your efforts paint you as a savior of teenage decency and morality, but paints is superficial; it cracks and fades easily. You’ve failed in teaching teens and only complimented your own ego and verbosity.

  107. Nadia M. Ratliff says:

    I totally agree with the fact that girls and women should not be posting inappropriate pics online or through phones. My issue is that you have pictures of your son’s with shirts off and the thing that i think is wrong is that your wanting girls to stop taking half naked pics of themselves but your posting pics of your half naked sons that get girls to only look at them sexual regardless of them having a fun day at the beach!!!! I don’t do pictures that show my body like that and i don’t want any guys looking at me that way so even if it is with my family I don’t take half naked pics of myself! Regardless of whether it is with a swim suit or not in a swim suit! I just think we need to have high standards of what our Lord sees when anyone post pics like that!
    19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.
    1 Corinthians 3: 19 – 20

  108. Susan B. says:

    The words & concepts that you present are WONDERFUL. That said, I cannot help be notice that you posted shirtless pictures of your sons. As a former teenage girl, I know that to teenage girls this is a temptation to lust. I think your comments would be MUCH more impactful, if the pictures that you shared where not sexually tempting to the young ladies that you are reach.

  109. Amanda says:

    I don’t know who said it, but someone said “Young teenage girls are not nearly as stimulated by sight as young teenage boys are.” I once was a teenage girl. I can say with 100% certainty that sight is the FIRST part of any attraction. Hence the phrase, “love at first sight”- so please, if you think that teenage girls are not “turned on” by a young boy or man’s looks- I ask you to enter any teenage girls bedroom and see what is all over her walls….. I assume only a scant few are bare walls, and more likely filled with half-naked men. Sibilings or fathers present in a picture or not, once you see a half naked person, you cannot “unsee” them that way. I was so “in-love” with so many singers, actors and models when I was young, and I promise it did not have anything to do with the way they comforted and shmoozed me. It was all physical attraction! (PS- I am a mother of 3 fabulous boys.)

  110. julie says:

    Awesome awesome article. Very well said and very well put. Amrn to your entire post.

  111. Love the article. I understand the types of provacative pics you are talking about. I got that, but I still noticed your son’s pics too. I wasn’t ready to cry “double standard,” but I’ll say this: What you are getting at is intent. Those braless, pj clad, puckering pics by girls were taken with the intent of being posted online, your pics are fun family pics. But then, a boy could look at the beach pic and think of how “good” he looks and post it online with the intent that the girls will like it. So maybe his intent was not being sexy when the pic was taken but it could be posted in that manner. I also had to laugh at how someone said boys always swim shirtless. We use rash guards around here for boys and girls. Another funny comment was the one about how the swim trunks are modest because they go to the knee. Girls are attracted to the lowcut pant and seeing the hipbones, abs and chest. So, yes I agree with your article, I just don’t think your standards are high enough for your own son’s modesty. Those same girls who post provocative pics see pics of boys like this and post hoping they notice.

  112. Anonymous says:

    So pics of boys in swim trunks posing is ok but girls posing in pajamas is not? Hmmm.. Sexist? Chauvinist?

  113. Kamiko says:

    Imagine if i judged my husband because he couldn’t have kids, i would have left 15 yrs ago, instead of giving up what i could have had, to have the true love of my life!!

  114. Melanie Diebel says:

    Thank you so much for raising Godly boys! I hope my future mother in law raises her son the same way as you raise your boys

  115. Emily H. says:

    Thank you so much for this. I’m a mom of all boys and though they are young now this is something I will have to deal with soon enough. So well put!

  116. Anonymous says:

    It seems ironic that you wrote this message while posting pictures of your sons, shirtless, at the beach doing their macho poses. Kind of a double standard don’t you think?

  117. Mom of Teenage Girl says:

    This is well-done and I loved it until I saw the accompanying photographs of the boys. Ummm – shirtless?? Have you had the opportunity to hear what teenage girls say when they look at those pictures?? It absolutely goes both ways.

  118. Mrs G says:

    While I whole heartedly agree with your basic message here, as the mother of 5 daughters, you probably don’t want to know what they said when I showed a couple of them this picture of your boys posing all hot, flexed an sexy there on the beach…it would make any normal girl who didn’t normally struggle with wearing modest swimwear want to wear a bikini…it just seems like you might not be holding the same standard for the generic girls in this world as you do for your name brand “Hall” boys.

  119. Vicki says:

    Please take off the pictures of the boys without their shirts on. The same thing goes for girls looking at boys! I would LOVE to share this, but can’t with half-dressed boys on it.

  120. Anonymous says:

    I like the article, and the strong family bond, but I’d be interested to know how tables would turn if one of your sons were to end up being gay?

  121. Nikki Brim says:

    Great post. I think the picture of your boys (and girl) on the beach is very tongue and cheek, not sexy and not trying too “strike a pose”. Just a family behaving naturally.

  122. Anonymous says:

    Love it! I am a single mother to a 9 year old boy. I will be the same way or worse. Thanks for voicing the way that I feel!

  123. trea says:

    you are a bit much. seriously.. just stay off the internet.

  124. Anonymous says:

    As a mom of soon-to-be three boys, I LOVE THIS! And, what a great message for all the young girls out there too!

  125. Bonnie Wells says:

    Great advice. I hope all the teenage girls out there will PAY ATTENTION!

  126. I have two teen boy’s and have taught them that it is their responsibility to develop the Godly self-control required to view females as fellow human beings, worthy of full respect – regardless of how the girls are dressed. As I told my 14 year old recently, “I don’t care if a woman walks up to you topless, you’d better look her in the eye and treat her like any other human.” My boys find the idea that it’s the job of girls to prevent them from being disgusting pigs by dressing a certain way repugnant and insulting. If a man looks at a woman and mentally undresses her, that a problem with his self-control and character which needs to be addressed. Yes, there are women who dress scuzzy. But especially with young women, that’s in good part because they’ve been taught that men are such stupid pigs that the sight of a scantily clad woman will drive them to peruse her.

    How about instead of worrying about what your boys see (and how other humans who you don’t control dress), you focus on teaching your boys to manage their own thoughts and sexuality. That’s their job and no one else’s. Trying to protect them from seeing girls dressed or behaving in objectionable ways simply leaves them with under-developed self control and the idea that it’s female’s job to do that heavy lifting for them.

  127. Bev M says:

    Thank you so much…. As a 2nd round Mom… (raising a grandson), I have often wondered how I was going to handle these situations…. I will follow your example… very wise indeed… thank you again

  128. Meredith says:

    I think there is a lot of correct statements on both sides. I have 4 daughters (oldest is 12) so helping them to be their best self as they grow up in a social media dominated world looking for instant praise and gratification scares the crud out of me. I see girls posting pictures that are way too suggestive (10-13 yr olds!) and i wonder who is in charge and teaching these girls. We talk about modesty in dress, attitude, behavior, etc. We can’t put all the blame on “oggling” boys and men. We as girls and women have responsiblity in this. But I also see boys obsessing about their bodies now too in a way that never happened in the past. My 10 yr old nephew wants to diet because his friend said he doesn’t have a six pack! My nephew is NOTHING close to overweight yet he wears a shirt to swim becuase unlike the rather skinny neighbor boys, he has some very age appropriate and not overweight meat. Boys are judging each other too. And if girls are looking at the boys and constantly walking around with a phone and seeing boys posting stud selfies and having constant access to these pics on their instagram feed, then the problem goes both ways. So boys don’t need to have their instragram feed filled with girls arching in their bedrooms or posing with their girlfriends in bikinis in the hot tub. And girls don’t need to see boys flexing and stretching and going all Mr. Universe on Instagram. If any of this is happening, then no one is thinking about the person inside. Only the traights they are choosing to highlight. I am married to a man who is 39 yrs old. I joke and call him my 39 yr old son. But these men have very basic biological reactions to visual stimulation. He has seen some things pop up on facebook, daughter’s of friends of ours, and he asked me to talk to the mom and see if it could be taken down. He said “I can’t see Katie at church on sunday knowing I just saw her and her 17 year old friends jumping on a trampoline in bikinis. I can’t unsee that.”

  129. Maria Lewis says:

    I’m so glad some could put in words the way a feel raising a teenager boy that has just entered high school!!! Love it

  130. Savannah says:

    Thank you so much for posting this. I’m a high schooler myself, and even though I’ve never posted anything that I think is considered innapropriate, it’s wonderful to have constant reminders like this. I constantly pray for the man that I will fall in love with as well, and that he will be raised in a good Christian home, and be taught things such as you are teaching your sons now.

  131. brilliant, I’m saving this to share with my daughter, she’s counting down to when she’s old enough for a FB profile and I’m SO worried, AND for ways to handle the girls in my boys lives. Thank you!

  132. Gogol says:

    Thank you for perpetuating the myth of female purity and reinforcing the trope that men are (in regards to sexuality) thoughtless beasts who are incapable of self-control, reason and respect.

    I believe in the radical possibilities of pleasure, babe.

  133. margil56 says:

    The problem here is not what you think of the pictures of your (very handsome) boys, but what the girls you are addressing would think. You think girls don’t lust after boys, or imagine them naked, etc? Plus, do you really want these particular pictures of your sons out there for the whole world to see? The pedophiles out there collect photos like this. Your words however are very wise, and I applaud your methods. But it is best to be ultra careful with your own sons on the internet as well.

  134. Xamayta says:

    Ironically however, your boys are shirtless and posing. Girls struggle with boy’s bodies too! On the other hand, kudos to you for standing up for purity in your home! Your boys are blessed!

  135. Anonymous says:

    The truth is that God made us all male and female. Our culture is teaching our boys to treat girls as sexual objects and that what they are wearing or how they dress will somehow cause them to sin. Our young men need to learn to see past the sexy in girls and women and to see them as God does with clothes or without. If we teach men to save their sexual thoughts for their spouse in a God-ordained sexual relationship, then they will remain pure. If a girl does not wear a bra – that is somehow sexual? We have been sending the wrong message to so many young men and boys these days that all they can think of when they see a cute girl is how hot she is. So very sad. We are teaching our boys and our girls to see every human as an image of God and to treat them as such no matter how they are dressed. And if they happen to see a friend on Facebook who is dressing provocatively, then it is not okay to go down the sexual road with their thoughts but to entrust them to God and see them as still created in His image and to pray for them. This is the message we have been teaching our children who have become young adults and we are seeing tremendous fruit in their attitude toward their own bodies and the bodies of others. God has been faithful as we have watched grow into healthy young adults.

  136. Anonymous says:

    Then why have pictures if your half naked boys in this blog.

  137. Marielle says:

    Yes! I am the mom of 4 boys and I feel like the “dear (boys name) are all over the place. Everything I read is blaming the boy, telling the boy to be a gentleman, to treat the lady right, etc… I work very hard to raise decent, caring, valiant young men but a boys brain is a boys brain and you are right…once they have seen it, it cannot be unseen. Girls can be ladies and boys can be gentleman and if everyone does their part it will be better for all youth and their parents. Thank you so much!

  138. Anonymous says:

    umm take these pics down of your half naked sons and then post this hypocritical post. cause half naked boys tempted girls the same,

  139. Anonymous says:

    Maybe I’m missing something here, but this post seems a bit self-righteous. I understand the point that girls should be careful of what they post on social media, and I agree; however, it seems like you’re making a point that it’s some high honor to be allowed on your Facebook feed.

  140. Andrea says:

    Oh, the irony. I believe very much that we need to teach our children to beware of what they post online, that it could follow them forever. But to tell girls they must not dress immodestly — such a subjective term — while pasting numerous pictures of your own partially clad boys is a bit of a double standard, don’t you think?

    Contrary to popular belief, women do indeed experience a significant sexual response when presented with arousing images. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2739403/

  141. Double standard much? I appreciate the sentiment, but posting pictures of your men without shirts doesn’t say much for your moral standards. If you are concerned with people behaving modestly online then don’t post pictures of them in that state of undress in the same blog post where you are asking young ladies to behave like young ladies. I’m sorry but that’s a double standard that needs to be addressed. I’m NOT saying its ok for a girl to post those pictures online. In fact I agree with you there. What I AM saying is that sets a dangerous precedent. So the next time you want to tell these young ladies not to do something, maybe you should make sure the pictures you post are showing that same moral compass you’re asking these young ladies to have.

  142. Amy says:

    Thank you!! These are the kinds of conversations we have with our daughter, and we are always trying to help her see it from the boy’s (& his family’s) perspective. Many, many thanks for helping us raise Godly young men and women.

  143. Mary says:

    I think you hit a nerve here, Kim. But, it’s a good nerve to hit. May God add His blessing to your excellent, albeit touchy!, message, and to the lives of your handsome boys. Keep up the encouraging writing!

  144. Anonymous says:

    Agreed on many levels….young girls don’t realize what their digital footprint will look like when THEY are wives and mothers. That being said, they are practicing the same poses and facial expressions that they see on commercials, magazines etc. THEIR moms should be as wary and watchful as you are. Nor do I think your boys or husband should be wearing t-shirts; they’re on the BEACH. But whose poses are they copying? They are a message to girls…look at MY muscles, I’m hot. I’m sure the pictures were taken in fun; it looks like you have a lovely family having a good time on the beach. I just think maybe they were the wrong pictures to post with this particular message. It took away from your well said and all too true words.

  145. Anonymous says:

    Kim
    I just want to encourage you. With a beautiful young family, you should be proud to show them off. If we are honest with ourselves as moms, we know there is nothing at all sexual to bare chested boys.. Beach attire for boys is completely non-sexual, as are the strong man poses. I think most of these people are forgetting how impressionable young people are. It is the WORLD that tells young ladies it is ok to be secure in your sexuality and show it. They can be happy and proud as young ladies without pretending sexual poses and acts. I am proud of you and your stand and if these moms want to block you, let them. Just rest in knowing God has given you a special gift of encouragement and continue using it.

  146. Crystal says:

    Wow this is amazing! I totally agree with everything you just said and I am also a teenage girl! My parents raised me to watch for all this stuff in my pictures and if there was ANY way for someone to think sexually of me I would take it down or not post it! Praise God that their are still parents that raise their boys to not look at bodies! It gives me hope that there will be Real men out there when the time comes for me to get married.

  147. Anonymous says:

    I really agree with all that, but I was a little disappointed to see only shirtless pictures of your boys. Girls will look, too.

  148. Angel says:

    I agree that women should be modest BUT it’s hypocritical to blame the girl for taking those type of photos. YOU should teach your sons to respect women instead of seeing a little bit of skin sending them off the edge and into their rooms to masturbate. It is even more hypocritical to be reading through this blog and seeing shirtless photos of your underage sons when someone else could easily objectify your sons and rub one out at the sight of your half-naked sons.

  149. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for this post! It’s just funny to me to read some of these comments–I agree that it is a little ironic that your boys were shirtless in these photos, but to me, it does not take away from the material point. Bedroom photos and things that would normally be considered private should not be on the internet for all to see. Swimming–normal, public, everyday activity (even there, modesty is an issue if you feel one way or another about bikinis, speedos, etc.) But irregardless, it’s funny that so many people that have commented here are, once again, trying to make men and women the same. We just aren’t and that’s the way it is! Men swimming with their shirts off is a completely normal and acceptable thing! Shirtless girls, NO (at least not pertaining to our society as a whole!) :) Does this mean girls are being cheated and “it’s not fair” that men don’t have as much to cover up! Well, it’s not their fault–our bodies are just made differently and yes, I think girls do have to take more care to be modest. I agree also with intent–sexual innuendo through bedroom photos and seductive poses as opposed to playing on the beach, COMPLETELY different! Parents of both sexes should teach modesty and responsibility–and girls may bear more of that burden simply because of inherent differences in anatomy and thought processes. Bottom line: good message and I love that you were kind about it and not demeaning in anyway (as opposed to some who commented on here). Thank you!!

  150. Stephanie rodriguez says:

    Well said!!! I completely agree with you 110%. I really enjoyed reading your post. I hope & pray that we will be able to raise our baby in the same manner.

  151. Anonymous says:

    And I would not want my girls viewing your half naked sons and their flexing poses.

  152. Anonymous says:

    The truth is that God made us all male and female. Our culture is teaching our boys to treat girls as sexual objects and that what they are wearing or how they dress will somehow cause them to sin. Our young men need to learn to see past the sexy in girls and women and to see them as God does with clothes or without. If we teach men to save their sexual thoughts for their spouse in a God-ordained sexual relationship, then they will remain pure. If a girl does not wear a bra – that is somehow sexual? We have been sending the wrong message to so many young men and boys these days that all they can think of when they see a cute girl is how hot she is. So very sad. We are teaching our boys and our girls to see every human as an image of God and to treat them as such no matter how they are dressed. And if they happen to see a friend on Facebook who is dressing provocatively, then it is not okay to go down the sexual road with their thoughts but to entrust them to God and see them as still created in His image and to pray for them. This is the message we have been teaching our children who have become young adults and we are seeing tremendous fruit in their attitude toward their own bodies and the bodies of others. God has been faithful as we have watched grow into healthy young adults.

  153. Anonymous says:

    I, too, really appreciate the message you have here! However, the first thing that got my attention before I even started reading was how low riding the swim trunks were on your son (with the hand on the sand)… leaves little to the imagination. Probably not the most appropriate picture with the topic. Girls can be driven by image as well.

  154. Anonymous says:

    Wow, I read this article not long after you posted it (when there weren’t any comments) and the pictures you posted did not even cross my mind. As you stated in your response comment, maybe they weren’t the best pictures suited for the article considering the subject matter, but give me a break people! These are family pictures at the beach. The boys are in entirely appropriate beach attire. For goodness sake, people are just on attack mode.

    I agree with some commenters that we need to teach our boys that they are responsible for their own thoughts/actions and need to learn to keep them in check. I do not want my boys to ever think that anyone else is responsible but themselves. I’m sure you do the same. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t also teach our boys to avoid things that make it more difficult to keep that in check. Just like we, as adults, should avoid certain things to help keep our own actions and thoughts in check. So yes, I will tell my boys to avoid pornography like the plague, to not see movies full of filth, and to block friends (both male and female) who post any sort of inappropriate materials/language. Not because those people are at fault for my kids’ thoughts, but because like it or not those things do make it more difficult to keep our thoughts and actions clean. And why wouldn’t we try to make it easier on ourselves??

    Anyway, I think your heart and message are absolutely in the right place, and people have just blown up over it because this is a touchy subject these days. Everybody take responsibility over your own thoughts and actions, and don’t be so offended when people try their best to censor themselves from all the crap that is out there.

  155. Lisa says:

    Wow, I read this article not long after you posted it (when there weren’t any comments) and the pictures you posted did not even cross my mind. As you stated in your response comment, maybe they weren’t the best pictures suited for the article considering the subject matter, but give me a break people! These are family pictures at the beach. The boys are in entirely appropriate beach attire. For goodness sake, people are just on attack mode.

    I agree with some commenters that we need to teach our boys that they are responsible for their own thoughts/actions and need to learn to keep them in check. I do not want my boys to ever think that anyone else is responsible but themselves. I’m sure you do the same. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t also teach our boys to avoid things that make it more difficult to keep that in check. Just like we, as adults, should avoid certain things to help keep our own actions and thoughts in check. So yes, I will tell my boys to avoid pornography like the plague, to not see movies full of filth, and to block friends (both male and female) who post any sort of inappropriate materials/language. Not because those people are at fault for my kids’ thoughts, but because like it or not those things do make it more difficult to keep our thoughts and actions clean. And why wouldn’t we try to make it easier on ourselves??

    Anyway, I think your heart and message are absolutely in the right place, and people have just blown up over it because this is a touchy subject these days. Everybody take responsibility over your own thoughts and actions, and don’t be so offended when people try their best to censor themselves from all the crap that is out there.

  156. Brenda French says:

    Love it.

  157. Lisa says:

    Oops, sorry that got posted twice :)

  158. Julie Baskier says:

    Wow. This is straight to the point, while respectful and encouraging. Thank you.

  159. Anonymous says:

    This was a wonderful way to approach such a difficult and timely subject. I had all girls and thankfully, they were grown before the explosion of social media. But the lesson was the same, if you want a man of worth to spend the rest of your life with, you need to be a woman of character! I always told them to dress immodestly is unfair to the young men. Two of them have married Godly men and the third is dating a peach! Thank you for raising great young men who know how to respect a woman!

  160. So serious question, what happens when you realize your sons can still have sexual thoughts and desires after looking at a picture of a girl who isn’t in a sexy pose and who is dressed within your standards of modesty?

  161. CeeBee says:

    Good points, but be careful not to be too controlling or judgmental. Girls are sexual too and they need to figure out their sexuality as they mature — especially if they want to have fulfilling married lives. Ideally, we want our girls to grow into a sexually confident and aware women, not women who associate their sexuality with shame. That is a heavy burden to bear.

    Just something to think about.

  162. This was a wonderful way to approach such a difficult and timely subject. I had all girls and thankfully, they were grown before the explosion of social media. But the lesson was the same, if you want a man of worth to spend the rest of your life with, you need to be a woman of character! I always told them to dress immodestly is unfair to the young men. Two of them have married Godly men and the third is dating a peach! Thank you for raising great young men who know how to respect a woman!

  163. gracemom says:

    Thank you Kyle David Greenberg and mb! Sad it takes men to so passionately and eloquently defend their sisters. I am a woman of faith, I am mother to a teenage son and pre teen daughter and I exhort both to be self disciplined and practice self respect and respect for others. The implication that “half naked” girls are evil and “half naked” boys are just being boys is so ridiculous and outdated; I am so sad to see it trumpeted in social media by modern moms!

  164. AB says:

    Perhaps you could have just told your sons what your wrote towards the end of the article – not to linger over the photos – instead of writing up a letter publicly telling girls how you think they should behave? I see so many blog posts chastising women and girls… perhaps there should be more directed at boys and men about controlling their own minds, moving past “questionable” images, not holding women responsible for their thoughts, respecting all women as human beings regardless of how they’re dressed, and not viewing women as sexual objects.

  165. Shannon says:

    I want to SHAKE YOUR HAND, momma. Well done. (From a momma of three teenage boys and one little girl!)

  166. Anonymous says:

    I’m sorry, but I think this is a huge double standard. Why do we as women always have to watch what we’re posting? Why are we constantly told how to dress, how to pose for pictures, how to act? As to how your sons to react to those photos? That’s THEIR responsibility. You act like boys have no control of their urges. It’s that kind of logic that has people blaming the rape victim instead of the raper, because their clothing let people to believe “they were asking for it.” I think people need to watch what they post in the case that they might lose a job over it. I see guys posting topless photos, flexing, and making stupid faces all the time and no one tells them “take this down! How inappropriate!” Why is that guys can get away with it, but we can’t? Why are we ridiculed for being sexual, but not them? Guys can control their urges just like women can. How about just teaching your boys self-control?

  167. Anonymous says:

    This is disgusting, if you don’t like what the girls post unfriend them without making a scene. It’s not your job to parent all your sons friends. Very hypocritical and self-righteous! And what’s with the half naked pictures of your sons posing? Is that not the same thing as you just deemed to be innapropriate? Think before you post such nonsense.

  168. Jennifer says:

    I’m glad there are mom’s of boys who are as concerned about this type of thing as I am as a mom of girls. I pray my girls end up marrying boys who have been raised like this!

  169. Ralynn says:

    Thank you for this I too have a son and 4 girls. I wish I had the strength and integrity that u have. Good luck and thanks for sharing

  170. Anonymous says:

    I agree with purity and modesty is equally important for boys and girls. Not only in attire but also and most importantly in thoughts and actions. Unfortunately we will not escape the woes of society when it comes to sexual exploitation because it is everywhere so it has to start in the heart. With that said, I lost the momentum of the message due to the nudity of the boys. I am sure the mother has plenty of pictures to choose from and chose from this selection (which, to me, is exploitation in and of itself). If you want to drive home a point of modesty, because it is important, one should also practice it or find yourself judging. My children (ranging from 22-2), both boys and girls, are saving their first kiss for marriage. Purity is more than clothing. My daughters and sons, all 8 of them, where t-shirts over their swimsuits when they co-swim.

  171. Mark Cannon says:

    Amen Mrs. Hall! Thank you! Well said!

  172. Anonymous says:

    These boys are posing with their sister on the beach where its public and we wear swimsuits. Not in our private rooms like bedrooms and bathrooms. And not in towels or in provocative poses with no bra on or the maleness exposed. I think there is a huge difference in the photos here versus the type of photos she is describing.

  173. anonymous says:

    I’m sorry, but I think this is a huge double standard. Why do we as women always have to watch what we’re posting? Why are we constantly told how to dress, how to pose for pictures, how to act? As to how your sons to react to those photos? That’s THEIR responsibility. You act like boys have no control of their urges. It’s that kind of logic that has people blaming the rape victim instead of the raper, because their clothing let people to believe “they were asking for it.” I think people need to watch what they post in the case that they might lose a job over it. I see guys posting topless photos, flexing, and making stupid faces all the time and no one tells them “take this down! How inappropriate!” Why is that guys can get away with it, but we can’t? Why are we ridiculed for being sexual, but not them? Guys can control their urges just like women can. How about just teaching your boys self-control?

  174. Anonymous says:

    A very nicely written post. But, like others mentioned before, the same can be said regarding boys. Boys, too, should be careful of what pictures they post of themselves. Girls, too, are interested in a half-clad boy. And as a mother of two young and beautiful girls, I will also be watching the pictures that boys they know post on social media and use the same rules you have instilled in your home. Things need to go both ways on this one.

    I do appreciate you writing this at this time as it is a good reminder for us as parents not to be slack on the social media front. Keep up the writing!

  175. Autumn Ogletree says:

    Love it! I have three girls. The oldest coming up to the age where she has begun the posting on social medias. Trying to teach and explain why some pictures and behaviors are appropriate and some are not is a very hard lesson in the world today. I honestly did not think of any of the things the others noticed. Enjoy your wonderful day!

  176. Angel! How ironic that you use that word. You’re no defender of women as long as you use the most dehumanizing and violent word that exists in the English language.

    In your previous post you said something about how she should teach her sons to respect women. I hope you find the time to teach yourself.

  177. Anonymous says:

    I’m just wondering if you are going to respond to any of the comments left regarding the pictures of your boys. I honestly don’t know anything about you, or your family, or your blog, but I am hoping that you do not have a double standard in regard to what is proper for boys and girls. The same rules should apply to both.

  178. CeeBee says:

    Oh. And also, if you don’t think that girls/women get distracted by boys who act flirty on social media you are wrong wrong wrong. Girls quite often go for boys because they are HOTTIES and not because they are modest, caring, upstanding young men. Don’t you want your sons to attract girls who want to be with them for their character and personal qualities too? I sure do. :)

  179. Kevin says:

    I’m upset and sad seeing so many people on this blog jump on the bashing bandwagon! You’re all just followers. One person criticize’s and suddenly everyone is a critic! Focus on the great point that this mom made. I have a feeling the folks being defensive in their comments are the very ones who know and allow their daughters to post inappropriate pictures on social media. It hits a nerve towards those who don’t like to be called out. Way to go mom on a topic that desperately needs addressed in this day and age! Written from a high school teacher.

  180. Meg says:

    I have four sons and one daughter. I would hope that I am able to instill in ALL of them a sense of modesty, but also that while EVERYONE – girl or boy – is responsible for her/his own actions, a person is more than one facet. If you want to delete their friends – well, your house, your rules. But you’re boiling down the entire person to one photograph. Would you say Katerina Witt – a 8-years-running National champion, 6 time European Champion, 3 time World champion, winner of two Olympic gold medals and competitor at a 3rd Olympics – should be written off because she once posed for Playboy? That doesn’t mean I want my kids (all figure skaters) to see the photos (I’m not sure I want to see them!) but her spirit, grace, poise, and determination should mean more than a handful of photographs. You’re teaching your boys that these girls, no matter what else they are, are worthless if they take a picture you don’t approve of.

  181. Anonymous says:

    I have 4 sons. At the beach they wear swim wear not ski clothes. Their shorts are over their waist and at or below the knee and not white. We are followers of Christ. It is odd to me that finding beach pictures problematic and equated to girls sending pictures in a towel from their bedrooms. These are NOT the same.
    My daughters wear tankinis and I post their pictures from the beach and pool. They will NEVER be allowed to post pictures from their bedroom. it’s different. IMHO
    I pray my girls meet boys that have been raised like yours. God bless

  182. Lee Ann says:

    Wow! It appears a lot of people aren’t getting the point! LOL….I do not know the author of this post…a friend of mine posted on facebook and I came here to the link. She isn’t demeaning beautiful girls or even saying if they are wearing bikinis and short shorts that her boys have to block them. She is asking these girls to consider what they are doing behind closed doors. She is posting to these young ladies who are purposefully using their bodies to get attention by posting pictures of themselves in sultry, sexy ways. She is speaking to the girls who’s purpose is to lure guys. She wants them to respect their selves. She is referring to what is the “heart” of the picture. This post isn’t about wardrobe, it’s about attitude and heart issues.

  183. LOVE THIS!!! I have a 7 year old son and 5 year old daughter. LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!

    I pray my future daughter-in-law and my future son-in-law grow up in the same kind of home. If yours weren’t so much older than mine I might just be praying for a Hall in-law :D

  184. Anonymous says:

    Great message for teenage girls! Thank you.

    I have to wonder, however, the one sided nature of this post as you have posted several pictures of your half-naked boys. Boys need to be equally aware of what they are posting and the nature of their photos and comments.

  185. michelle says:

    Why can’t it be both/and?

    Girls need to seek modesty- not JUST for the sake of men/boys but for the sake of CHRIST! We need to cover up as a kindness to guys because we know how the male mind is wired. God created the male mind and it’s not all bad, by the way! I teach my daughters that it is the right thing to do for others as well as themselves. For what it’s worth, I don’t think that just because we’re dressed modestly that men can’t be attracted in an inappropriate way.

    At the same time, men/boys need to guard their hearts in Christ Jesus. My boys need to know that there will always be someone out there – either a literal person or an image- that is immodest. They need to know how to protect themselves. It is an issue of the heart… an issue they will always deal with on some level.

    Please, let’s stop saying it’s all the girl’s fault (not that I’m suggesting the author of this article is saying such). Please let’s stop blaming the boys! It’s a SIN problem. We are ALL vulnerable.

  186. thedianestory says:

    Great post. We need young men of integrity in this world. And girls need to value themselves more.

  187. Erin says:

    I love the post but do somewhat agree on the pictures. Love the post though – and definitely agree.

    Also just wondering… did you expect this much attention to your post? LOL.

  188. lacy crowell says:

    I LOVE this article, it’s fantastic, & thank you SO much! However, as a mother of three daughters & one younger son I find it very unfortunate that you chose to post pictures of your sons half naked with an article encouraging my daughters to present themselves in a pure way.

  189. Mama Kim says:

    Kim – I don’t know you, but I saw your blog post on a good friend’s facebook page. I LOVE what you wrote. Please do not take any of the negative feedback to heart. I have raised 2 girls and have one left at home. I have taught them to dress modestly and have also taught them IN DETAIL what kind of physical reaction & thought process dressing immodestly can provoke in young men. Because I have taught them that how they dress directly affects what people think of them and reflects their morals, or lack thereof, they have CHOSEN to dress modestly. This is also a sign of self-respect. Girls can’t dress “scantiliy” and then blame the boys for looking at them as a sexual object. Anyone who says that it is boy’s fault if he looks at a girl that way, is dillusional. People dress to fit the part they want to play. It is the world’s point of view that it’s OK for girls to dress like they want to be viewed as “sexy”, then go after the men & boys who look at them as sexual objects, with disgust and acting offended. I love your point of view and hope and PRAY that my 2 unmarried daughters will be blessed with husbands who have been taught as your sons have. :) My son-in-law was taught right, thank goodness! He is an amazing father & husband. My daughter earned that, by dressing modestly and attracting the right kind of man.

  190. THEMrsSearcy says:

    As a mom with many daughters thank you for your post. I am dismayed by some of the comments but that’s the chance we writers take when sharing our thoughts and ideas. My 12 year old daughter found the pics of your boys funny, never once noticing that they shirtless. She noticed that they were at the beach which promted her to remind me that Dad promised we’d go, but the trip hadn’t yet materialized. She noticed that your daughter had three big brothers and will probably never date, she listens when her dad and ONE brother tells her she’ll never date.

    I get that we each have our own opinion. I also don’t think that you were placing yourself in any other catergory than a mom who has boys who notices girls and we live in a world that tells young women that “getting noticed” is the thing to do if you want to be popular. I get you, my boys are hooked on some commercials that we girls don’t get the appeal of… anywho…. thanks again for the post.

  191. Mama Kim says:

    P.S. Your boys are adorable! Looks like you have a lot of fun as a family, and that you have a very happy family. :) Playing on the beach in a swimsuit then posting the pics on your own, PERSONAL blog is not a reason for others to find fault. However, in the words of my kids “haters gonna hate.” LOL! Keep up the good work!

  192. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for your post!! I am a mom with 3 boys and see nothing wrong with your pictures. Keep raising good boys and praying for their future!!!

  193. Jacquie says:

    I wish there was a “LOVE” button on here…. I just love how you worded this post!!! I wish more parents were keeping an eye on their children’s social networking activities! Keep up the great work!!

  194. Anonymous says:

    wow… talk about double standards. Half dressed women – WRONG. Half naked boys – Perfectly fine. Guess that’s another thing the men in your family will grow up learning…

  195. John Wright says:

    I don’t accept your premise that girls aren’t as turned on by a guy’s body as vice versa, I don’t accept your premise that it would be a bad thing if they were, I don’t accept your premise that the human body is something to be ashamed of and covered up, I don’t accept your premise that NORMAL sexual response in teenagers is a bad thing and I don’t accept your premise that any lack of control on the part of your sons is any young woman’s fault. AGH!!!!

  196. Andrea says:

    “Men swimming with their shirts off is a completely normal and acceptable thing! Shirtless girls, NO (at least not pertaining to our society as a whole!) :)

    Wow, I totally missed where she stated the girls were actually topless in these photos! I thought the mother mentioned girls who were posing seductively or in their PJs.

    Posing topless is indeed a major issue and most likely a FB TOS violation. Additionally, if these girls are underage, this could become a legal issue. Instead of writing a letter on FB, the mother would be far better served by contacting their parents directly AND reporting these topless teen pics to Facebook.

  197. Lisa Moore says:

    SO well said!!! WOW. I just love this post TONS. Thank you!

  198. mirele says:

    Young women are not the guardians of young men’s chastity. Young men should be trained to keep their eyes and their hands to themselves. You set entirely too high of a burden upon young women to dress to some sort of imaginary standard. It’s imaginary because you don’t know if a mere shapely ankle is going to cause some young man’s imagination to run wild. *shakes head* Seriously, you moms are not doing your daughters any favors at all by imposing this JUNK on them.

    Oh yeah, and what about the young men without shirts? That’s something of a double standard here, don’t you think?

  199. Sarahkay Ims :) says:

    thank you :) i’m a teenage girl…. and i’m wayyyy opposite the road of sexy, even if i ever tried! but that’s such a good perspective. so thank you thank you thank you. it brings a smile to my face to know that there ARE teenage boys desiring to follow and obey the Lord and that there IS hope. i pray EVERY single day for my future husband, that he’ll be a man after God’s own heart. and that he’ll pursue me with whatever is true, just, honorable, of good report, lovely…(Phil. 4:8) and that to find my heart, he’ll have to really really REALLY search God with his entire being. and it sounds like you are raising your boys to do just that. so thank you :) you’re doing the right thing. i want to encourage you, and others, myself eventually included ;) , to keep following God and obeying his law for your young men. train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

  200. Karen Watson says:

    I guess I’m surprised these girls were FB friends of your family in the first place.

  201. pockychoc says:

    I admit. I am a young female and I have been “lingering” over the pictures of the young men in swim trunks. Longer than I probably should have. What can I say, they are cutie hotties! Sooo, is this okay since I am a female? Or has my moral compass been corrupted?? And if my moral compass has been corrupted, whose fault is it?? mine? the boys? the author who posted the pic? Please tell me, please tell me!!! Quick, before I go astray!

    Also, sometimes I even linger over pictures of boys who are fully clothed because I find them attractive. Please tell me the status of my moral compass in this situation.

    Thank you!

  202. bbbbarry says:

    Thank you for steering *just* clear of saying that women are responsible for men’s purity of mind. Of course, reason (and Jesus) says *men* are responsible for their own purity of mind, so thanks for not putting that on them.

    Now, I will continue my search of Christian blogs for one post — just one — that talks about modesty the way that the Bible does: in terms of expensive clothing and haircuts and jewelry, and in terms of one’s own vanity, rather than about anyone else’s lust.

  203. Andrea says:

    “Playing on the beach in a swimsuit then posting the pics on your own, PERSONAL blog is not a reason for others to find fault. ”

    So would girls posing in bikinis by the pool be ok? If not, why not?

  204. Anonymous says:

    I agree with all you said but its pretty one sided. What about boys? Having all girls I have seen some pretty nasty pics of some teen boys. I’m sure that you meant this towards all teens not just girls.

  205. Anonymous says:

    …..posting pictures of your shirtless teenage boys posing all ‘muscley’ is the EXACT same thing those girls are doing.
    Your blog post is something I’ll share with those I love- because it’s down right humorous that you think teenage girls should be held to a different standard.

  206. Anonymous says:

    Great. Now I’ll never be able to unsee your boys flexing without their shirt on.

  207. Kristie says:

    One’s picoral intent does not make a female “unsee” a naked chest of a male.

  208. Laura says:

    So thankful for another parent on the same page! We have four boys, two of which are teenagers, who think we are old fashioned! Thank you!

  209. Teri Eicher says:

    I also came across this post randomly. Firstly, let me say that I thought the message was sound and very clear. Closed door pictures of anyone posing provocatively are unacceptable, period. I would hardly liken that image to one of a family romping on a beach, and the allusion that it is unacceptable for boys to not have shirts on on the beach is laughable. She made no comment on girls beachwear, simply that photos at ni-night time in skimpy jammies in your bedroom were not ok, specifically when coupled with provocative poses. I liked the comment that compared photos as living room wall appropriate or not. I think it’s amazingly off base of the anon person who said girls were not stimulated by visual images, and I applaud the person who said it’s equally important to teach boys how to behave. This is what the author is saying she does with her sons, in case you missed it: Discuss these images and why they aren’t appropriate before removing the girl that posted them. Jeez people, think before you type.

  210. Tami says:

    I have to say I thought the choice to include pictures of your half-dressed sons doing manly poses was a really odd choice and took away from what you were trying to say. What an amazing double standard.

  211. Anonymous says:

    From the father of Three boys and a Girl, well said!!!

  212. Anonymous says:

    I enjoyed your article and having 4 boys and a girl of my own I will keep this in mind as they grow older. My oldest is only 8 and has special needs but it does not mean he will be immune to the lure of social networking as he gets older. So many things to keep in mind as my kiddos grow.

  213. AZmom says:

    I am with those who say you are contradicting yourself when you posted your half naked boys while chastising skimpily dressed girls. I understand it is a beach picture where males walk around shirtless but so do girls in bikinis. Your boys SEE those girls in bikinis growing up and are probably quite used to it. So the girl posed bra-less? Same thing as a bikini top. Selfie in just a towel? Girls wrap themselves in towels on beach too. I think you are just passive-aggressively calling those girls in the pictures sluts for posing selfies. Teenagers, girls and boys both, are at the stage where they are narcissistic so selfies seem to be quite normal behavior for teenagers. Skimpy attire is very similar to girls walking around on a beach or swimming pool or spa…..but NAKED is something else. I would agree with you if you were talking about THAT. Or posing in sexual way like hooking the top or bottom to give a peek of a private part, pulling up shirt to give a peekaboo of the bottom of the breasts…along those lines…that is blatantly sexual…and, yes, slutty.

  214. Anonymous says:

    I agree with those who have pointed out that teaching your sons that they are responsible for their own behavior would be an invaluable lesson, rather than putting the burden of responsibility onto the girls.

  215. plr says:

    I didn’t read the other comments, but I don’t see how you can post this lovely read, and include your half naked boys and think that is okay or any different from what the young woman was doing. If girls are supposed to be fully clothed for online photos, then your boys owe that too.

  216. Anonymous says:

    Way to go mom! Keep raising those young men the right way!

  217. Anonymous says:

    So a girl that is totally clothed, (though braless) in her room, posing with her sultry lips and an arched back are unacceptable, but your sons posing shirtless, in macho men poses are perfectly acceptable to you? I am genuinely confused by this. Yes, I agree, they are at the beach, of course they are shirtless, in bathing suites. But a girl in her room dressed in night clothes braless is pretty normal also.

    I applaud you for taking an active interest in your children’s social media accounts, and think that’s a great idea to connect with your teens, and see what they see. Great idea! But before you delete and block a bunch of girls for doing the SAME thing your boys are doing, maybe you should reflect on the double standard that YOU are saying is acceptable.

    I did not see the pictures in question, nor do I find anything wrong with teen boys shirtless at the beach. I do, however, find the hypocrisy of this post hard to swallow. I am raising a daughter, and a child of God, she (at 2) goes to church, says her prayers, and has more manners than most 12 year olds. There will come a day when we battle over social media, and what she can and can not wear to the beach, and what is acceptable to post on her page, and so on. I get it, but maybe you should remember the old saying “People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.” You glass windows could use a little windex there.

  218. Rusty Shackleford says:

    Don’t blame girls for the boys thoughts. Girls do not, can not, and should not be expected to police boys thoughts. Their bodies are their own and it’s only the business of their parents what they post online. I understand that you think you are merely insisting upon modesty, but the underlying message is that boys cannot control themselves and so girls have to do it for them. This is not only sexist, but it is dangerous as it reinforces in the girls’ minds is that all that is important is their body–which is something we both agree just isn’t true! Perhaps your energy would be better focused on the parents of these girls? Or on your own sons?

  219. KC says:

    No offense- but your article sounds judgy and preachy. #1. Your boys are flexing and showing off their bodies. Those photos seem to have the same point as the girls’ selfies, to get the opposite sex interested in their bodies. I encourage my boys to NOT photos like that, but you don’t see me writing a judgey post about boys that do that. #2 Wait until your daughter is that age to judge those teenage girls. If your girl makes it to 19 without doing something stupid, judge away. #3. Kids need to learn to manage their own media. Dictating who they can and cannot contact on fb or social media past the age of 15 will teach them how to a. create a private account to hide from you, or b. go crazy in college because they never had the chance to exercise their decision making skills in high school.

  220. bubba says:

    Thou shall not judge. Say that to yourself. Its your job to protect your boys how you see fit but remember your little judgement sessions around the table are probably sending the wrong message.

  221. Cristina says:

    I was really liking the post until I saw the picture of your boys. I still like your message and hopefully you are also teaching your sons to be responsible for their thoughts as well – it can’t always be the female’s fault. I thought you were going to say how the picture of your boys would be the male equivalent for a girl but that never came. You may not think it is a sexy picture but you are their mother and I bet there are some teenage girls out there who would beg to differ. I do applaud you for your hard line stance and not being afraid to enforce some difficult rules at your house!

  222. L. Oveson says:

    I love this and am going to make sure my teenage daughter sees it. We may even try going through our kids social media.

  223. Libby says:

    You speak about teenage girls in such a demeaning way that it really makes me sad. Let the teenage girls do what they want. It isn’t your business what they do or do not do unless it is physically or mentally harming you or your family. If these girls want to project themselves in a certain way, they should certainly not be made ashamed of it. Going through teenagehood can be very hard, which I’m sure you know, and there’s no need to make it worse.

    I grew up in a quite liberal household, and for a brief time I was a Christian, but I found that I felt very trapped by it. However, I respect all religions and all choices people make. If you choose not to take what you call “sexual” photographs or you have raised your sons to do the same, that’s perfectly fine. Do not demonize girls who choose differently than you.

    You imply very frequently that a woman should do things for men, and that it’s important that she is respectful of herself (please note that your standards are the only important ones) in order to find a husband. But what about being respectful of herself by her own standards that she can love herself in a world where it’s very easy to dislike one’s self. I find that this particularly hits home for me, as I am still a young woman and still struggling to accept myself and hold myself to only my standards, not that of men or the media or anyone else.

    I would also encourage you to teach your sons to stop sexualizing the female body. The female body is not always sexual, even if they are presenting themselves with “arched backs” and “pouted lips” and your sons should know this!

    And, as you note, these girls are lovely and vivacious and very smart (not “usually” as you so condescendingly note. They are very smart in their own way, regardless) and they are also your children. You do not get to police what they say, do or post.

    On another note, you say that you want your sons to fall for “real beauties”. What does this mean? Why are you shaming girls you may not even know for not meeting your ludicrous standards?

    I hope that you rethink this post and rewrite it to create a less offensive tone where you do not shame girls for being different than you. I’m sure they do not do the same to you.

    Lastly, you are not their friend. No friend would post such a demeaning and probably hurtful article on what children who are not your own do. Do not even bother including this ridiculous device to try and make this post “friendly”. There is no kindness here, only thinly veiled sarcasm, and as we all know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

    Good luck with your family,

    A Liberal Girl

  224. Mom of Four Boys says:

    I understand what you are saying– we all want our sons to be upright men and to be surrounded by the kinds of people that make right choices.

    But this post buys into the cultural bias that if a woman, or girl is ogled that it is their fault. Boys need to be taught to respect women, to not excuse themselves for their imaginations or their ‘evil thoughts’ just because they happen to be male. The whole idea that men are attracted through sight and women are not is a myth of our society.

    I want to raise my boys to have their eyes open and choose to make decisions because they understand the choices, not because they have learned to run as fast as they can from anything that may force them to admit weakness. I believe that weaknesses can only be conquered if they are face, challenged, and overcome. If a boy sees his friend and notices she’s not wearing a bra, he needs to have the self control to look away and reprimand himself for objectifying her. He may be behaving as a ‘natural man’, but the point is all of us are supposed to be attempting to overcome our basest selves, yes?

    In my experience, strongly intervening and sheltering children only leads them to heartache when you are not there to protect them from the evil world. There are things that we hate for our children to be exposed to, but we need to give them the tools they need to deal with problems in their lives. They cannot hide forever– at some point they will have to confront sexuality. Instead of coating it with shame, why not embrace it with sacred respect? Why not teach them to honor themselves and others?

    The issue isn’t the girls in the pictures or your boys in your pictures. The issue is that you seem to buy into our societal illness– this idea that women and their bodies are innately evil, sexy, dangerous– and that men can’t help themselves– like they are born rapists. Boys are just as vulnerable as girls. They are born as pure and delicate. We, as a whole, in our cultural do not allow them to grow. We tell them they cannot help themselves. We tell them that their imaginations are evil.

    No wonder so many of them buy into it.

    What will your sons do without you there to tell them how to be safe– will they be the same person with you hanging over their shoulders as they are alone? I really don’t think avoidance is constructive.

    All you’ve done is called innocent girls whores and taught your sons that it’s OK to objectify them.

    After all, they’re just men.

  225. Jessica Hughey says:

    I completely agree with those who’ve chastised you for including pics of your sons, shirtless on the beach, instead of a pic of them sitting around your dining room table, fully clothed. VERY odd choice, given the subject matter of your post. You must have pics of your boys with their shirts on, I’m certain. In addition, it’s this type of attitude that teaches boys to put the responsibility for their sexual urges and actions on the woman, rather than on themselves, where it rightfully belongs. Sound familiar? “She was asking for it.” “She had on a short skirt.” Teach your sons to resist such urges and to see women as people, rather than sex objects, regardless of their poses or mode of dress.

  226. Anonymous says:

    you do realize at some point they are going to lose their virginity? whether is 15 or 24 whats the difference if they arent married?

  227. Angie Carr Robinett says:

    I posted this to facebook with this comment “I love this blog article !!! I feel so sad when I see pictures of young ladies AND young men who are clearly trying to be sexy . I know it’s often seen a lot everywhere…..but it doesn’t have to be you. ” thank you ! I don’t have children of my own but would respond the exact same way. I do have the opportunity to be in the lives of our teenage and 20 something step children and unfortunately don’t have the opportunity that I would like to as far as helping to raise them. May you be continually blessed in your practices to raise your children with integrity. Keep up the great work!

  228. Kaitlyn Taylor says:

    Sometimes it feels like I’m one of the only Girls who still keeps it classy and respectful in photos now-in-days. It’s nice to know there are guys being raised to look for more than just a low cut shirt and Skin tight shorts.

  229. Anonymous says:

    “Men of integrity don’t linger over pictures of scantily clad high-school girls.”

    Why does this not translate to teaching your sons to control their own thoughts and actions, despite what anyone else is doing or wearing? Why does it instead translate to ‘shun all young girls about their bodies’?

    This kind of attitude is shameful and wrong. It promotes rape culture and takes your sons’ accountability away and places it, unrighteously, onto someone else. No one else is accountable for whether your sons chose to linger on a picture of a cute girl (and really, on some level, that’s completely normal). But they are capable of clicking off BEFORE they start to objectify the girl. It doesn’t matter what she is, or is not, wearing. It is THEIR choice. You don’t teach your sons to respect for girls and women by shaming girls and women right in front of them, and teaching them to do it, too.

    PLEASE read this article. I don’t want my sons to be influenced by boys who are taught these kinds of harmful messages, and I certainly don’t want my daughters to date or marry them.

    http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/

  230. So you don’t see the hypocrisy in posting photos of your boys all shirtless while condemning young women for being covered in towels.

  231. I read this to my husband because we’ve noticed tons of our youth group girls doing this exact same thing. He asked for the link and plans to read it in our high school Bible class tomorrow. THANK YOU!!

  232. Paul Lynn says:

    Wait a minute. I GET what youre saying, but youre blaming the GIRLS for the way they look and pose because of the NATURAL thoughts your boys MIGHT have that are being triggered by a photo!?!?!?! Come on now. I get what the overall tone is, but I think youre way off on a couple points. Like girl in towel: They’ll now think about them nude because they were in a towel?! REALLY???? Do you HONESTLY believe this!? In my day we didn’t need a towel photo to picture a girl nude. And its somehow inappropriate to see them in a towel but your boys in nothing but shorts (colored underwear) is OK? So would a girl in a bikini be appropriate since your boys are in their beach shorts?

    Its really sad that parents always have to look to lay the blame on others instead of teaching their own kids right from wrong.

  233. RaeAnna Goss says:

    I thought it was interesting when I read the article and then saw the pics of shirtless boys flexing their “guns” – I see I wasn’t the only one surprised! haha! Great thoughts and I’m glad you guys sit around the table to hold the standard high for your boys! I pray that they will continue to walk the straight and narrow! My parents raised me and my brothers with the same standards – I’m very thankful for their influence and that my husband and I are continuing the heritage with our young kids. *Probably* won’t be posting pics of them in their swimsuits while talking about purity though. ;-)

  234. I appreciate this post, but like others had said I had to quickly scroll over the pictures of your sons and husband who were bare chested. I teach my daughters not to look at bare chested men in public to give them the modesty they need but don’t seem to recognize and I teach my son to do the same to scantily clad girls. We do need to take our thoughts captive but I don’t think it’s demeaning to women to teach them to dress modestly and stay covered just like I don’t see it as demeaning to request my son cover his chest. It’s not shaming, old fashioned or horrible to expect everyone regardless of gender to dress modestly and pleasing to the Lord. To the comment who said that women aren’t aroused or easily swayed by looks like men are – then please explain why we pay to see movies with Hollywood hunks in them. I’ve had to quit watching T.V. shows before because I found myself becoming too fond of the actors who are good looking men and they had their clothing on! It’s not just men who become attracted to those of the opposite sex by just looking. So please, I’d appreciate it if you extended the same care in posting the pictures of your men as you want the women to do – I don’t care if their at a beach or swimming pool – I do my best to not look or linger on bare chested men – and honestly I’m also okay with avoiding swimming areas during the summer because of this.

  235. lisak33 says:

    I totally agree with everything you said. It needs to be said to these young ladies over and over again until they get it. However, I find it ironic that the pictures you chose to post of your sons are of them in the state of half-dressed. Did you know that once a female sees them in a state of undress, she can never un-see it? Please reconsider these pics.

  236. kate schell says:

    I appreciate your heart for your sons to have integrity, but I would have been absolutely mortified to have read this post about me as a teenage girl. I sure hope the girls you’re writing about don’t read this.

    I grew up hearing modesty advice like:
    - girls should never have wet hair publicly because boys will picture them in the shower, naked
    - girls should never sit on a bed in mixed company because boys will picture them in bed, naked
    - girls should avoid wearing swimsuits without cover-ups or putting on towels after swimming, because boys will picture them taking off the towel/suit, naked
    - girls’ bodies, boys’ mind, naked… ad nauseum

    (And yes, by the standards of the above advice, those pictures of your boys are extremely sexual, and you’ve just posted them online.)

    That advice didn’t make me respect myself more. It made me scared of the ravenous, gross, predatory minds of my peers, and even more terrified of my own body — and accidentally doing something wrong and “sexual” with it. Honestly, I hurt for the teenage girls reading this and equating towels/beds/their bodies with “OMG boys are picturing me naked!?!”

    Girls, yes, please respect yourselves and know that you don’t have to look a certain way — sexy or otherwise — to get boys to like you, or to “compete” with other girls. Yes, be aware that what you put online is there forever. Know you are beautiful and don’t need to flaunt it. But your beauty, however you decide to present it, is not dangerous or bad, and you are not responsible for how men react to it. You are not responsible for other people’s lust.

  237. As a mom of a son and a daughter , I find your article harsh towards girls. We are an Indian Christian family and we are trying to raise both our kids modestly. We dont allow our son to wear basketball shorts to church like we see many Americans do here. Our daughter does not wear pants to church and we dont allow short shorts or booty shorts as its called here . I see young teenage girls here in churches wearing soccer shorts ALL the time. They consider it modest. Moms allow their girls to wear such clothes and then the boys are expected to shut their eyes???
    Whats with that? In India ever rape is blamed on a women for dressing provocatively. We fight a battle in our country that just does not seem to be ending. I agree whole heartedly with your idea that girls should be more modest and treat their bodies as it were a Temple of Christ. Yes that is 100 % true and I support it. But dont blame ALL girls in general. In this country modesty standards are crazy! Short shorts and gym wear is supposed to be ok for gym and church and dinner outside.Maybe if young people of both sexes dressed properly and Boys were taught to respect girls and Girls were taught to respect their bodies and keep it Holy and pure till matrimony then we would not have all these issues. Your article though accurate and true is harsh towards girls. You make it sound like Girls are to blame for everything. Thats not the case. Boys look! They will look at legs in soccer shorts, girls in skinny jeans which are way too tight and arms in tank tops. Lets also teach our boys to respect women and look at their faces instead. You are brave in writing this article but it could have been toned down a little. After all one day your little girl is going to be a teenager also .

  238. Well Done Hall Parents! I hope more parents follow your level of involvement.
    Sincerely a parent who wants to raise Men and Women, not boys and girls.

  239. Yet here are your boys on your blog half naked…. a raging hypocrite!!!!!!!

  240. Okay, I just read through the comments and saw that my comment was a little like re-inventing the wheel. And I read your response to the other comments. I’m sorry to have posted before reading all of them (well, many of them, not all). I hope you don’t feel bashed and please don’t feel like you need to approve my previous comment. I have both a son and a daughter, both too young for this to be an issue yet, but I think about it a lot. I want my daughter to respect herself enough to dress modestly and I want her to care about the effect of her actions on others (boys included). But I want my son to realize that his thoughts are his responsibility. He must choose to see a girl as a human being first and foremost.

  241. Jean Schafer says:

    to your accounts and take down anything that makes it easy for your male friends to imagine you naked in your bedroom ?????? are you kidding me? so know the girls are supposed to know what triggers you disgusting male sons from having improper thoughts…okay. I have some advice for you, instead of that, try teaching your sons to see females as human beings and not sexual beings, to look at their eyes, instead of other things, this isn’t 1940 lady, get with the program, teach your sons to be responsible for their own thoughts.

  242. marybethbern says:

    While these young women are certainly responsible for what they post, let’s not forget that they are products of a culture that we have created, and sharing your concern for them. a culture that you have perpetuated by hanging out pictures of your sons as physical specimen to which young women should aspire when looking for romantic relationships.

    Next time instead of a public, self-righteous, sharply judgemental critique of their posts, why not write a heartfelt, compassionate, and kind note sharing your concern for them.I think you might find that it would be received much more warmly than this patronizing vitriol. If you are as concerned for these girls as you claim to be, do what you can to guide and shape them instead of publicly blasting them.

    And while you’re busy being self-righteous, don’t be too proud to think that it won’t be your daughter one day. How might you want someone to respond to her?

  243. I do appreciate the concept of the article. It is something we do with all our children with ALL inappropriate photos. Some of my daughters’ female friends have been blocked in the interest of the young men who are on their pages. Also, we have been known to block boys as well.

    While I feel you have the right to determine what is acceptable dress in your own family, I have the right to disagree. In our family, all people are covered. No one in our family is allowed to be shirtless in public. The basic thought is that naked bodies are to be shared with one’s spouse and not with the general public.

  244. I read the article and loved it. I think some of the comments about the boys are over the top. What boy goes to the beach and covers his chest? It hasn’t been until recent years that it’s become taboo for a man to go shirtless. I consider my family to be normal not legalistic, modest people. I think some people take pleasure in being “right”. In short, get over it, boys wear swim trunks at the beach.

  245. I love your article. The pictures of your family are wonderful, too. I love that so many people out there noticed your beautiful family portraits and had the discernment to *consider* whether they are modestly dressed or not. I do NOT, however, love the critical attitudes with which some responded to your article. I, in no way, consider your article to be hypocritical or ironic as some called it. You have a different definition of “modest” than some out there. These are guys at the beach (not to mention your daughter too!) wearing swimwear that is as modest as one can get without looking like you’re Amish or something (with no offense to the Amish intended. Just saying any more modest swimwear than these would be well beyond the social norms of our society).Their swim trunks aren’t falling off, or too short, nor are they sitting so someone could see up a pant leg, or making sultry bedroom poses, or anything like that. They’re posing to look muscular, as most young men like to do, especially young men who aren’t ASHAMED of their bodies. I grew up ashamed of my body and often wore an over-sized t-shirt over my bathing suit — “in the name of modesty” — but it was too much. My heart was great, but the teaching I had received went too far. We don’t expect our kids to swim in scuba gear at the pool, so I find their swimwear totally appropriate.

    I hope not too many people missed the point of your wonderful article because of their overzealous need to point out that you’re not as extremely modest as they are.

    Thanks for the great tips! I hope to be like you when my toddlers are teens!

  246. You are my kind of mother!

  247. I will be reading this In my Sermon on Social Media Thank you so much.

    Pastor Andrew

  248. Thank you for writing this. I too, have boys, and am trying to raise them to respect the women and girls in their lives. I hope that I will be this bold and unafraid when they are old enough to understand social media.

  249. Sorry, mom, but you’re being quite the hypocrite here when you post a picture of your sons shirtless and whose swim trunks are pulled down so we can see their tan lines. What you’re saying should be told to both girls AND boys — even yours.

  250. “Why does this not translate to teaching your sons to control their own thoughts and actions, despite what anyone else is doing or wearing? Why does it instead translate to ‘shun all young girls about their bodies’?”

    ^^^That. It is not the responsibility of any young woman to control the thoughts of your sons. I, for one, will teach my son to respect a woman no matter how she’s dressed.

  251. Kim! Love this! And how fun to see it is you writing it! I have two teenage sons so definitely agree! Greetings to your family!

  252. Grace for everyone. Truly after raising three teen daughters and dealing with social media on many occasions…..This is my two cents only from my own experiences. 1. Often I was upset by something I saw on my daughters wall. But truly it usually was not something that was from her rather someone else. 2. Take a look often to ensure your kids get it regarding what is seen by others etc. 3. If parents truly do not know what is going on with their kids then they don’t want to know. Pointing it out to them or others will not help the situation. Even if your heart is coming from the right place don’t do it. UNLESS there is an immediate danger. And I have found that calling a third party like a teacher, coach or mentor is better than the parent. Keep your self out of the middle if possible. 4. Social media means more work for us as parents but also more eyes for us to watch out for our kids. There is good with the bad. I can check out what is going on at a party, in a home, at school IF I NEED TO KNOW. Example, “mom i was invited can i go?”…Check it out you will find the skinny on the situation with a few clicks. 5. Looking to often will drive you to drink or go crazy. Some of the things we had to work out in life growing up were done outside the parent view. And although you need to know what is going on getting too invested can hurt, badly….Going through it all over again is hard. 6. For those posting pictures that are indecent. a. ask your son or daughter to block them so their feed is not coming in. If you are asked or they are asked kindly explain that your parents didn’t approve of some of the posts. 7. If you see someone who is really struggling by posting about them selves seeking attention all the time…..pray for them, send them a private message with zero judgement but rather telling them how smart, funny, witty, courageous and so on and so forth, you get the idea. and LAST, if your child has social media you should always have the password to gain access. ALWAYS! After all of our experiences often it comes down to kids having too much freedom without enough parental involvement. And our kids need to know we will be checking in. Again, be in balance about it. Don’t go crazy. But I have a baskent and when I decide it is phone or computer check I go around and collect and check in with them. If there was something a bit on the edge or over the edge I would ask them to sit next to us and view and have them read it out loud to us. That did the trick!!!!! And our kids tell others that hey I can’t do that my mom and dad check. We take the heat!

    All of this has worked for us. Take what you like and leave what you don’t. Lets help each other rather than rip one another apart.

    Becasue we all realize that these kids are desperate for someone just to love them. See them for what it is truly not what is actually being shown.

  253. while I dont think the pics of your sons are inappropriate, I would say that from now on think before you post. yes those pics of your boys are different than the bedroom poses, but they are nonetheless pics of boys without shirts on. if we are going to speak on modesty, let it first start in our own homes. girls can just as easily linger over the boys pics and then go on to daydream about a day on the beach with them, is that what you want? I do see your point about the pics that girls post and I agree that they should not do that, I do not want my son to see things like that as he does strive to live a life of purity. I think in the day and age of internet and access to so much info and social media that parents have to be more vigilant than ever before

  254. Mama Kautz says:

    But it’s ok for your boys to be half naked in front of my daughter. Kettle meet pot.

  255. Lina says:

    Sorry you’re getting so much negative feedback on here! I saw a bunch of kids on a beach being goofy. That’s all. I agree that there is a serious difference between what I see on Facebook and what I see on here. It could just be me. I have a daughter and although she is only 8 months old, I try to set a good example of modesty. I have always been a very modest person, and I can only hope I pass it down to her. Modesty is beauty. Powerful post! Congrats!

  256. While I agree with everything you said, I think if you hold those standards for girls then hold them for boys. If you dont want to see girls without a top on, you shouldnt post pictures of your boys with no shirts on.

  257. bethlunday says:

    Thank you! I have three girls still home and I constantly try to watch what they say, what they post and who they watch. Good to see you are too! Good job Mom!!

  258. “Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t ever un-see it?”

    And did you know that I can’t un-read that? I truly understand your good intentions here, but am having difficulty with the delivery and thought process behind them. As a mother of a young girl, I know the teenage years are going to give me a run for my money. And it is my job, mine, to ensure that she grows into a young woman who not only respects others, but herself just as much. It is your job to raise your sons to be respectful young men. It is definitely not my daughter’s job to make sure your sons’ thoughts “stay pure”. While I agree that provocative and half-naked social media posts are inappropriate, don’t blame the girls for the boys’ straying thoughts. It’s one step closer to claiming “she was asking for it”. And maybe while you’re preaching to our daughters, you should post pictures of your boys with clothes on.

  259. Pictures… no pictures… who is responsible… who’s not… whatever…

    BOTTOM LINE: Parents DO NOT spend enough time policing their children’s data access and social media. Does your child have a phone with data & text? Do you KNOW who is texting/Face-booking them in the middle of the night? Because SOMEONE is… I guarantee it… if you’re not keeping an eye on it. Your teenage girl should not be accessible to boys her age at 3 a.m. …but she is, if you are not keeping an eye on it. Your teenage sons shouldn’t be able to skype into a girls bedroom in the middle of the night… but he can, if you’re not keeping an eye on it.

    And you can spend every moment teaching your kids personal responsibility and the principles of guarding themselves against unsavory influences, but you can’t control EVERY possible scenario or every point of access. You can only teach your kids your best rendition of “the right thing to do” and hope that they are not swayed by the hurricane of lesser standards that swirl around them in the maelstrom of social media. Because there ARE lesser standards out there… there ARE parents who are NOT doing the same… there ARE children, who (through no fault of their own) are attempting to make moral sense of the world without a strong guiding hand. It’s not their fault, it’s ours, but you can’t ignore something just because you can’t control it.

    I read an article just today about how teens on Facebook are manipulating the privacy settings on their accounts so their parents/family cannot see things that are posted there. They want privacy… they want to be able to live their lives without the prying eyes of their parents. They want to diminish the parental controls and make their own choices. But are they mature enough to do so?

    It’s not an issue of trust. It’s an issue of TRUTH. Parents are not the number one influencer in teenagers lives, their peers are…

    And I haven’t even talked about the predators out there who KNOW the access they can have to your children through unmonitored social media. I don’t know of a single parent whose child has lost their life/innocence to a predator who ever thought “I’d do it exactly the same if I had a chance to do it over.”

    We have five teenage sons… and we’ve worked very hard to keep in touch with their digital footprint… it hasn’t always been easy, and we haven’t always been happy with the things we’ve discovered, but we’ve always tried to use it as a learning experience to make us all better, more conscientious people.

  260. Pingback: FYI (if you’re a teenage girl) | Inspirations from Wake and Sea

  261. pjkuhn says:

    God gave me daughters and I’ve tried to keep them modest — in dress and mind. A friend sent me here to read the post — a guy friend who could enjoy your son’s pictures as much as any girl. I suggest a third caution — for those boys not interested in girls, That said, your words hold important truth and I’d love for the girls I know to read them.

  262. As you can see if you say anything with any conviction you will have people who disagree with you. I noticed that quite a few of those were people named “Anonymous.” I appreciate your gracious response. I would just say take heart. May God bless you as you raise your kids.

  263. Hello, I agree with your article about girls in sexual poses being inappropriate material for your sons to be viewing. I understand the difference between a fun beach photo (for both genders) and the intent of a sultry bedroom shot (also for both genders, guys have been known to post inappropriate photos as well after all). This all makes perfect sense, I agree with and applaud your boldness. I do disagree with one statement you made, however, and would like to draw attention to it so you may consider it in the future:

    “Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t ever un-see it?”

    This type of generic statement can not only offend some males (it sounds insulting and reduces them to products only of their environment through implication) but also, for those men who are leaning toward perversion, this type of belief (which seems to be widespread in Christians now, unfortunately) gives them an excuse to do whatever they want with their thoughts, holding others accountable for their perversion instead of themselves. I have dealt with men like this in my churches before. This type of implied thought, that men are helpless victims to their sexual desire is irresponsible in Christianity and dangerous in the secular world (every heard a rapist say on the stand “she was dressed so sexily, how could I resist her?”)

    Please do not misunderstand me, I absolutely loved your article, and I hope you hold your boys accountable for their thoughts in the circumstance they do see a sexily clad woman, and teach them personal responsibility. I just thought you should be aware, that whether intentionally or unintentionally, that one sentence contributed to the belief that men cannot help themselves when in the grips of lust (which both genders struggle with in different ways, and both can change their thoughts). After all, the first thought is not a sin, it is what you do with the thought that determines whether a sin has been committed.

  264. This was awesome so needed! I have 4 young boys and this has motivated me even more to raise my sons with a Godly perspective of women!

  265. jcsmithblog says:

    From reading the previous posts, my reaction to your pictures juxtapositioned with your post is not isolated.
    Beware that you don’t teach your boys that only girls are vain and capable of objectifying their bodies. Even Christian boys can grow to be husbands whose egos can get in the way of loving their wives as Christ loves the church (selflessly), because they are obsessed with other women’s attentions.
    It’s easy to “beat up” girls for their desire to illicitly seek men’s attention, but our culture won’t change until men realize that they too have the same tendency with women. Our future heads of household should be wise and discerning, and mothers like yourself should look to help train her sons’ hearts to look inwardly at their own sinful self-centeredness. Moms can be blind to (and proud of) the beauty of their boys as well as those Moms who are blind/proud of their girls.

  266. to Mrs.Hall I just love how you tell girls to cover themselves,but in two of the three photos your sons are not wearing shirt.Don’t you think that will cause young ladies to see your boys in a sexual way? They are after all l very handsome young men.Just FYI don’t preach a double standard if you wouldn’t let your daughter take her shirt off in public don’t let your sons.

  267. While you apparently have good intentions this is a narrow-minded display of sexism. So the girls are going to be blocked for posting fully clothed silly photos in their bedrooms but your boys are just fine flashing their muscles in their beach wear? I assume that if some of the photos in your feed are of girls in their swimming suits posing like models you would block them? Funny you view girls goofing around in a sexual light and not the boys. This post reeks of smugness, ignorance and, above all, a mom who treats girls unequally and thinks her family is better.

  268. I am a mom to 2 boys and 2 girls. I can totally relate to what you have posted and I agree. I did read your comment where you suggested that maybe you should not have posted these particular photos of your boys and I agree! When I was a teenage girls those photos would have been awesome to hang on my wall (if I had been allowed. LOL!) Thankfully my parents were involved and taught me to wait for marriage, but girls AND boys have the same struggles. Boys AND girls are called to modesty. We encourage our boys to wear shirts. It truly does go both ways. Do not think teen girls are not attracted to those photos. And guess what photo they can now not “unthink” of when they think of your boys? BUT I do applaud you for your grace and humble attitude! Kudos!

  269. I wish there was more moms like you!!!!! Thank you!!!

  270. It is so interesting how when people are confronted with truth, they will always look for something to point their finger at, for example, the “scantily clad” dressed boys. Mrs. Hall, you’re doing a wonderful job protecting your boys and raising them in a God-honoring way. Keep up the good work and do not worry about the people who are trying to put you down to build themselves up. Blessings to you and you family.

  271. Joel Park says:

    I love this article. As a dad, I don’t have a problem with the photos of your boys that you chose in the article, however it would have seemed to support your point more so to not include photos of your sons in their swimsuits. Not that they are seductively posed, but after reposting your article on Facebook (because I like your thoughts so much), I’ve received many negative responses due to your choice of photos. Just an observation that I wanted to share.

    Thanks for raising your kids with good standards and for sharing your thoughts on this subject. The line about the male mind being unable to “un-see” something is an incredible truth. Blessings.

  272. “Dear Mrs. Hall, I am glad you have such lovely, pure as the driven snow teenage boys and such a great family that loves to look at FB together as a family but…until you’ve raised a teenage girl, please don’t judge so harshly. Holy crap!! I mean, I HATE that all the girls (and I do mean all) do the duck pouts and the selfies and do so in their bedroom or the bathroom mirror (honestly, how many self portraits can you take??) …but just wait until your darling 8 year old turns 15 and then when you figure out a way to stop it, let me know okay? Meanwhile our daughters are growing up in an environment where looks are prized far more than “what’s inside” and “their beautiful personalities” – and yes, even your wonderful boys are probably guilty of it too (just look at them in their own ravishing bodies – showing off! Wow! What hotties!). Our daughters want to look attractive and unfortunately that translates to how many “Likes” they get. I hope my daughter grows out of this, but until then, yes please, “unfriend her”. Ya, that will help her, I am sure.”

  273. LOVE this blog post! I just read all of the comments and I think overall people are missing the point of the message. As a mother of two daughters I’m already dreading social media and the challenges that come with it as well as the internet in general. I’m teaching my daughters to dress modestly because although it is up to the man to guard his thoughts, it’s also up to the woman not to flaunt what she has and make it any more difficult for them, or anyone for that matter. I see nothing wrong with your photos and I am actually going to have beach photos of our family up in my living room. It’s sad that people are attacking the “double standard” of this message when there really isn’t one in my opinion. It’s nice to know that there are mother’s {and sons} out there who care enough to go through FB pics together for just this reason. I hope and pray that my daughters will marry sons like your boys.

    Well written article and although some people are a bit crazy about their opinions, I think you’re doing a great job. Keep it up and don’t worry about the negative comments. I fully plan to have the same type of awkward conversations with my children. :-D

  274. I really do appreciate the post. I don’t agree with girls posing in their bedrooms in such a manner. I do understand that the pics of your own children were taken during a time of family fun. However, the spirit of your article and these pictures are setting a double standard. I have similar pics of my own kids/husband but I refrain from posting them all over the internet. I believe we as individuals are to dress modestly. I dress modestly for myself and for the sake of my brothers in Christ. If I am dressed modestly and a man looks at me with lust… that sin lies at his door and the corruptness of his own heart. I obviously, do not want my son to see the pics of girls that you described. Nor would I want my daughter to see these pics of your boys. We always mention the man is stimulated by sight, and this is true. However, if you look up the statistics of women that are caught up in viewing pornography it is shocking! Females have issues with their eyes as well as men. I honestly do appreciate the spirit of the post and would even share it…..but cannot due to the pictures.

  275. Amen! This post gives me hope for my three girls and son. We pray nightly for their futures spouses, and my 14-year-old is concerned there is no one else raising their boys like we are raising our girls (and son). I now have hope. Thank you.

    Dabney

  276. I have to applaud you for your comments regarding pictures that girls post on social media. I have 1 grown son and 3 girls at home, 2 of which are teenagers. I constantly watch what my girls wear including my 7 year old daughter. I watch what they try on at a store and I watch what they purchase as well. My almost 13 year old is very modest. She is 5’7″ and developed compared to her friends. When I first saw the pictures that you chose to post along with this I didn’t find them appropriate at all but thought maybe I was just being too judgmental. But then I noticed that others were having the same issues with the pictures. I also remembered just recently as I drove in the car with my almost 13 year old daughter as she almost broke her neck to check out the half naked HS cross country team boys running by. This is coming from a girl that has never appeared to be boy crazy like I have seen a lot of her friends. This is coming from a girl that has always had boys as really good friends over the girls that are so dramatic. My daughter has definitely changed her outlook on boys and seeing boys dress in less clothes doesn’t help in this matter at all. My daughter doesn’t have any of the social media like Facebook and Instagram so she isn’t able to post pictures that she might not seem inappropriate at the time of her posting them. I don’t feel that she is mature enough (even though she is very mature for her age) to handle to pressures that come along with the social media like becoming friends with complete strangers or making the decisions if pictures of her and her friends are appropriate for others to see. I have always been one to dress modestly but I am also blessed to have a husband that shares honestly about what men see when women show a little to much. I have often wondered how that compared to boys or men in the way the dress. I got that answer from my soon to be teenage daughter while watching the HS cross country team run by. Your boys are very cute and have nice bodies so I could see my daughter gawking over my shoulder at the fact that they are in swimsuits showing their nice bodies. I’m not judging at all but just trying to give a different perspective from a mom with a very honest soon to be teen.

  277. hannahfatina says:

    Reblogged this on Walk With Me Jesus and commented:
    When your own future sons are in mind, this post makes a lot of sense. I think about them, often.

  278. mkey2013 says:

    I found your discussion frank, open and wonderfully written. I do hope that you will consider this: modesty goes both ways ~ for girls and guys. You eloquently write of blocking a girl from your son’s account because of immodest dress but then you post pictures of your boys without their shirts. Girls lust too and they like looking at pictures of boys that show off skin too.

    Please apply the same standard to your boys that you so rightfully so apply to the girls.

    I really did like what you had to say on the matter. Our children really need to hear this message.

    Thanks!

  279. Rob Vedrenne says:

    There was much in this post that I liked but one overwhelming thing that left me wanting. The culture that produces the ability, desire and execution of posting pictures of yourself in a inappropriate way is now reached an epidemic point. The decision to give these fair maidens the digital boot is little deterrent. The same culture is still pervasive and will present tests for your boys and those girls. I would love to hear more on how you are building virtue into these boys. How do they temper the pull of the flesh and not dive into the unbelievable sensually saturated world around them? Do we who see this happening around us have the ability to counter the undertow? I am not in disagreement with the sheltering, setting limits and healthy boundaries but have a greater desire to see how we produce a generation that has a desire for the beauty you eloquently described in the latter paragraphs of your post.

  280. I don’t know you but your sons or someone like yours is who I am praying will meet my daughter every day.

  281. So this is currently going around my timeline and I clicked over to read and was kinda blown away.

    Our boys should be taught to respect women and not just see them as objects. You seem well intentioned to me, but by teaching your sons and daughter that boys have no control over their own thoughts, desires, and actions, and the responsibility of the entire situation rests squarely on those girls, you aren’t doing yourself any favors. Guess what, boys absolutely can be taught to appreciate a female body, to know why he appreciates that body, and how to appropriately act when he sees a female body. He should also be taught that underneath that body, a girl is a whole person, not just what they see. Why should girls be shamed in such a way? I’m a pretty modest person, even before I became and old fuddy-duddy mom, and I think there are limits to what should be shared online, for sure! But maybe you should just turn off all media if you think your boys are too tempted to not do something inappropriate with her. Goodness, have you watched TV lately? I think the problem with our society runs much deeper than girls sharing photos on instagram. There will be no way for you to completely edit the world they are in, sorry to say. Boys have an equal responsibility for how they react, maybe they should be the awesome boys you claim to be raising and tell the girls, “hey, you don’t need to be sexy to be liked”, ask the girls “hey, show me what book you are reading, or music you are listening to” instead of shaming the girls publicly and telling your boys it’s unnatural to have an attraction to a girl his own age. Lead by example, don’t just judge and delete. No one learns that way.

  282. snideygirl says:

    There is nothing inappropriate about boys wearing swimming trunks at the beach. Get a grip, people! And stop trying to act like you don’t understand where the line is. We’ve all seen the bedroom selfie pics she’s talking about and kids having fun on the beach isn’t it!

  283. Bryan W Gary says:

    What a great message. Unfortunately you ruined your credibility by choosing to post pictures of your naked sons, in provocative poses.

  284. How about you raise boys that do not think of girls and women as sex objects exclusively.
    If men of integrity divert their eyes and you are raising men of integrity, then why do you have to block these picture on social media.

    Raise men who can control themselves and be accountable of themselves and their actions. As a young college woman, this is what I am looking for in a man, not what you are teaching your sons.

  285. so what about the boys who post pictures of themselves in just their low-slung boxers, flexing their un-covered abs, or posing with their hands in a sexual way…? where is the blog post about how young men do exactly the same thing? what about the way your sons respond to the unfortunately partially clothed young girls in those pictures? you’re chastising only one side of this presently occurring problem in young adults online.

  286. I agree with a lot of the things you said Mrs. Hall…
    But I must bring to your attention that as a 17-year-old girl, it took me half a second to think “Oh… hello.” when I saw the pictures of your older boys. And no, I can’t unsee that.
    I firmly believe in teaching both boys and girls about modesty. Girls have eyes to… as I just explained above lol. :) A good article overall, and I get the message your trying to say, but you should consider what me and other people are saying.

  287. Bryn Warner says:

    Excellent Excellent Excellent

  288. Interesting perspective. While we will have to agree to disagree on most of your points, I do question your use of half-naked photos of your boys throughout this post. Why is that appropriate when revealing photos of girls are not?

  289. Sorry you have gotten so much negative response over the boy’s pictures. There is much truth in your article, and some are crying foul for all of the wrong reasons. At any given time on the planet, at least 2/3 of the men are shirtless. Very few people have the expectation that a man must wear a shirt at the beach, or that he is automatically sexually provocative for doing so. Your photos are clearly intended as family fun, and since they are not even very clear or well lit, your obvious intention was to show they are happy and well-adjusted, fun loving kids. If those folks are sensitive, they can avoid those situations: they can honor their convictions without unnecessarily criticizing others. I raised two girls who are modest young ladies, and it paid off: I have two of the finest sons-in-law on the planet! Girls who are flaunting are insecure, and need encouragement to respect themselves, and not make distressing mistakes that can harm them publicly forever. Straight talk from the point of view of a boy’s parent may be just what they need to think before they post, and wait before they give away their innocence and purity. The thought that girls have to be provocative or promiscuous before marriage, in order to be well-adjusted physically, is a lie with desperate consequences.

  290. I’m really sad. REALLY saddened so many people are casting the first stone on here. wow. just when I was encouraged by your post… then i started reading further, and the body of Christ has to go and get all ugly up on your blog. you shared your heart, transparently giving people insight into your family and principles and BOOM the ones you have aren’t good enough for the average internet joe who has read your story. cray cray up in here! i am starting an adoption blog this year and i’m actually TERRIFIED to be transparent because of this very reason. on the bright side, perhaps you’re getting a lot more traffic than you ever thought possible? : ) i appreciate your sincerity and attitude even through the criticism. It shows that you actually have the very character you are working to instill into your sons. i have encouraged countless teen girls over the last 13 years to wait for the one – that there are young men out there like yours. thank you for raising them well. and thank you for sharing, Mrs. Hall!

  291. Kim I loved your response to those who opposed your pictures. You humbly agreed the choice of pics could have been an error since it “muddied the water” casting a different light on your intentions in the article. God bless your heart, it was in the right place. <3

  292. Ok people – this is ridiculous..My instagram is constantly being updated with girls in silly poses, looking as sexual as possible. The photos of this womans’ children are likely on a wall in the family room. I seriously doubt these girls would stand in public in some of their poses. If they do? they are already working for some cheesy photographer and you have some work to do. I applaud this article. Your pictures are just fine.

  293. Leia Jex says:

    As the mom of a little girl and the sister to much younger step-sisters, I really appreciated this article. As a teacher, I freaking loved it. I wish that it could be mandatory reading for both boys and girls, and particularly for their parents. You took some flak over the picture you chose, and I thought you responded to that criticism very well. Having taught teenagers, I think that they’re hormonal creatures, both boys and girls. They think about the opposite (or same) sex ALL the time, both the boys and the girls. Even if we as adults don’t think of the pictures as sexualized, the fevered teenage brain can and does. That said, I love the article. I love the message to the children and the implied message to the parents. I’d love to see more of my students’ parents take as active a role in the lives of their children.

    Thank you for being such an involved parent.

  294. This is awesome…this is the kind of mother-in-law and family I pray for my 3 girls and teaching boys to guard their eyes and save as much of their hearts, minds and thoughts for their future wives. Dressing modestly is a battle these days but not impossible. My heart hurts for the sexualization of children and girls in every single way. =) btw, I disagree with you completely anonymous ^^^. Do the research, see the trafficked children (girls and boys); the broken marriages from pornography addictions; watch tv and remove the blinders… marriage and sex are sacred. We’ve let the culture hijack what really matters and twist and turn it into something empty and shallow.

  295. Cheyenne says:

    I believe your post was written with good intentions and smile at the humour and wit you bring in writing it. Raising healthy teens, guiding them to make good choices is the toughest thing to do in today’s world. You have written from the perspective of a Mom of teen-aged boys. As a Mom of a teen-aged daughter, my perspective is different. When your son(s) do make a mistake, exercise poor judgement, I hope it is not shared and judged by an entire family at the dinner table. It is also my wish that your son(s) have true friends who will stand by them when they err and not “unfriend” or be rejected by them and their families for a choice they have made. If we lived in a perfect world…..would that not be grand.

  296. BTW…thanks and keep up the good work.

  297. I grow really tired of the argument that says “asking women to cover up disgraces women”. Christ tells us “but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” So guys…..love your sisters in Christ by controlling your mind. Girls….love your brothers in Christ by covering up. Mutual love and respect. Instead of touting your own rights, humble yourself and do what is best for someone else. Like Jesus. (Phil. 2)

  298. It really bothers me that Mrs. Hall would post the half naked pictures of her kids while preaching that girls are not wearing enough clothing. I have seen the girl pictures and some are a little risque, but the ones my daughter posts in her jammies (pajama bottoms that are covering and tops that are covering) are very innocent and just girls being girls and posting pictures. My daughter knows what she should and should not post. What is wrong with bra-less with a top? You can’t see her nipples outright. You are preaching to girls. At least a girl wearing pajamas is wearing clothes. What are your boys wearing? Nearly nothing. I see boys posting the same sexy pictures with their ab shots and other half naked boy shots. Why is it ok to post your half naked pictures of your kids and for our girls that have p.j.s on that cover completely and you consider that wrong? I have to ask myself, is this what the writer of the letter “Mrs. Hall” is trying to get across? That she is a hypocrite?? That is all I got out of this letter. I agree that some girls are doing these said things, but don’t put a picture of your half naked boys on a letter that you write about modesty. Really????

  299. cjcris23 says:

    Yes, the pictures are totally ironic. I’m not one of them personally but many women and girls do list after men with their shirts off. And to be perfectly blunt, many boys and men do as well.
    But more importantly, I am so tired of girls and women being blamed for men’s bad behavior. Your boys will be confronted with sexuality for the rest of their lives; it is so much more important to teach them how to interact with that in a healthy way than to just block people in an effort to shield them from something they will deal with every day for as long as they live.
    Yes, girls should have the self-respect to not post pictures like the ones you are describing. But there it is: self-respect. Not because some boy or man can’t handle themselves when they see the image. I believe your boys, my husband, my son…they’re better than that. They don’t have to be controlled by their baser instincts and if they are, a girl or woman isn’t the one to blame: they are.

  300. What an awesome idea! I’ll have to pass this onto my mother so she can one day take this approach with my little brother!

  301. As a Christian, and father of two girls and a boy, I’m saddened to see you’re raising your “strong Hall men” to believe they’re helpless victims of biology, walking libidos the rest of the world must protect from themselves. I’m angered that you’re trying to teach young women everywhere that no matter their hopes, dreams, talents, ambitions and desires they’ll never worth be anything more than what the horniest male on Facebook sees them as.

    Please, let your young men discover attraction and temptation as God and nature intended, and trust they have the strength and intelligence to understand the difference between lust and love, and desire and action.

    They (and, not to put too fine a point on it, YOU) need to learn to see young women as people, not only as sex objects.

    Peace
    Ty

  302. I think it is very ironic that your boys are half naked in the pictures you posted while chastising young women about “modesty”. Double standard….Keep teaching your sons that they have no accountability for their thoughts, words, actions, because women are sexual objects and should be either be lusted after or cast out as harlots? Either stance is objectifying and sexualizing; you are perpetuating the problem you are attempting to condemn.

  303. There is nothing sexual about a boy in board shorts playing with his brothers on the beach. That is NOT the same as a bra-less or half-naked teenage girl in her bedroom posing erotically. It’s about context, people.

  304. Could have been an awesome message, Mrs. Hall! Your weird choice of pictures ruined it. You’re promoting a double standard here. By posting pictures of your half naked sons, you’re saying that it’s ok for boys to pose with their shirts off, but girls can’t pose in their pajamas unless they have a bra on underneath? You’re not even saying that the girls are half naked, but that they just don’t have a bra on under their pajamas! What decade is this, the 1860′s? What if I’m another parent from the obviously hypocritical 1860′s portion of Facebook and I don’t want my daughter seeing half naked pictures of boys flexing their muscles and pursing their lips in a suggestive manner as if they want to kiss the first girl that walks by? I am in complete agreement that teenage girls AND boys should be very careful of what they upload to the internet. They shouldn’t post anything they wouldn’t want plastered on a billboard on the main street of their hometown. However, your approach is extremely judgmental and hypocritical. Next time “if you hate something, don’t you do it too.”

  305. I teach Social Media and wrote the course and I am proud (as a mother of a 12 year-old) that you are standing up and telling it like it is. You don’t have to be trashy to get attention. I would rather my son respect you for your intelligence and inner beauty than think of you in your towel or what you look like going to bed. Respect for yourself is more important that what the “group think” on what you should be showing is. I aim to be a mother just like you and when his “friend girls” transition to girl friends, I hope he becomes the respectful, young gentleman that I have raised him to be and not treat women as objects, even if they portray themselves that way.

  306. Phoenyx says:

    I love this blog post. Thank You!! Thank you for speaking out and voicing your concern as a mother. I read comments that said you were hypocritical because the picture with the blog posting shows your boys with their shirts off. Well first of all, they are at the beach and having fun. There is nothing hypocritical about that in my opinion. That is completely different from the photos that you are voicing concern over.

    I do understand your concern about the young girls posting pics of themselves in various poses that should not be put up on social media for anyone to see. I believe that children have no place on social media at all. The provocative, sexy poses, scantily clad, leaving little to the imagination photos that should never be taken, never should be on social media photos…These I have seen by Both young girls and young boys. It frightens me. It frightens me for them, for their safety and for their very lives.
    .
    I am a mom of one grown son, proud nana to 4 precious granchildren, a survivor and an outspoken advocate…I know the evil that lurks and trolls the internet looking for victims…they look for photos like the ones you describe – these kids, both young girls and boys, have no idea that these monsters are out there and what they can do with a simple picture…they also have no clue that with the information they put out on the internet with the 20 question games they play, that these monsters can find out where they live and hunt them down and they can go missing…..they have no idea the harm that can happen to them, the torture, then murder, that can and has happened to countless children. I see photos and information that should be made Private for friend only and then other stuff that should NEVER be put on Social media period!

    If anyone reading this has any doubts, Please check out the information from my friend Bonnie Lang of C.O.P. (Child Online Protection. They are an Internet Safety Organization geared toward kids and teens. Their goal is to educate them about the dangers online and teach them how to protect themselves. They also educate them on the procedures to take if they are solicited, or sent inappropriate materials)

    Both men and women of integrity are not just born. They are raised by warm, loving, attentive, nurturing parents (or parent) who teaches them what is right, what is wrong, how to treat others with respect and so much more. It is the responsibility of the parent(s) to bring their child(ren) up with integrity whether male or female. The weight of responsibility does not all fall on the males. Females also must be responsible and be taught to dress and behave appropriately. When there is a terribly dysfunctional family then naturally the child or children will not have that positive model they need in their parent(s). Me, I was blessed with at least my mom and my grandfather for those positive models and unconditional love and guidance.

    With love and support
    Elizabeth Brawley

  307. The world sure needs more families such as yours Kim Hall!!! Kudos to you and your family!!! March on!!

  308. Mrs. Hall, you and your husband are to be commended. Hopefully you will not be discouraged by those commenters grasping desperately to their misguided ideals while spewing contorted and contrived perspectives in attempt to deny the natural order of things. I’m confident you will continue to raise your boys to be strong men, unswayed by the pop-culture attempts to redefine reality to fit with those folks’ emotional desire to make male and female “the same” not just equal. I hope that someday they “get it” as you obviously do. Bravo.

  309. What an insane double standard you set here. How about you teach your sons to have some self control instead of shaming other people’s daughters?

  310. Mrs.Hall, I totally agree with your post! And what’s more, there isn’t a darned thing wrong with the photos you posted of your family. The people complaining are either complete dolts, or they are feigning offense to distract from the truth of your message.

  311. As soon as I came across the shirtless photos of your son, this post stopped holding water. I agree with you so much. Girls have no idea what they are doing to teenage boys with their half naked photographs. I somehow think you have no idea what those photos are doing to teenage girls. I am only 30. I remember being 15 pretty clearly and I think I would have loved those photographs. As a mom to 3 boys and 1 girl myself, I have to remind myself often that I cannot hold a double standard when it comes to the genders.

  312. jkflutterbug says:

    Excellent article! Thank you for writing it and posting it. I agree completely!

  313. Way to go Kyle thought your reply was right on it. So says I, a mother of 3 daughters.

  314. Photos of shirtless boys flexing and you are shaming girls for taking selfies in their pajamas? Can you say double standard? How about we focus on teaching boys that they are responsible for their own thoughts regardless of how a woman is dressed? How about we turn the conversation away from putting the onus on females and sexually shaming women (which is a tired, old pattern) and turn the conversation onto exactly WHY women are made to feel their value is so intertwined with their sexuality? I think this misses the real conversation that needs to happen. I respect your intentions, but disagree with the way you executed it.

  315. Dear Kim,
    Thanks for writing that letter and thanks for your clarification follow-up. I believe both were spot on. I have found that most everyone on blogs feels a sense of freedom…and yes, even aggressiveness that probably wouldn’t be there were it a face-to-face encounter. I am a mother of 17 and 19 year old girls. My husband and I would readily agree with your parenting approach.
    And yes, while I loved the value in your post, I must admit that the points made in response are most definitely valid. I love that we moms can come together to share and end up learning from one another and being encouraged. I wish more and I hope the rest of the posters will be sure to keep that in mind…we are all in this together. We were created for relationship and nothing matters more to any of us than raising up children and doing it well. How awesome…in fact…how very sweet it is for women to get to come together from all over the globe and share our experiences. I think it’s that heart for women and for mothering that brought out this wonderful site from within you to begin with and I’m grateful for you. It is evident in your body of work over the years how much you enjoy serving others. Your family is precious! Many blessings mama!

  316. Tara Paisley says:

    I see boys enjoying the beach. My husband does not swim with a shirt on, nor does my son. I have no trouble with pictures with boys in a pair of swim trunks. It isn’t as if they were wearing Speedos. And yes, the rules for modesty ARE different for boys and girls because we ARE different. Would you suggest that I allow my girls to go topless just because boys do? How insane!! I do expect my daughters to wear one piece bathing suits at the beach and even at home. We are trying to teach respect and self worth to both our son and our daughters and part of that is dressing modestly, but it also acting the right way as well.

  317. Some ppl posted that the pictures of your sons at the beach, shirtless, was contrary to what you were “preaching.” I disagree. It is normal for boys/men to just wear swimming shorts at the beach. Shirts are not required swimming apparrel for males. The boys are posing together as a family, probably acting goofey to spoof each other later. It would be different if they were taking inappropriate pictures of themselves in their underwear in their bedrooms behind closed doors. I seriously applaude this mother’s courage and standards. There are soooo many girls who wear very short dresses/skirts, low cut blouses/tops, and taunt guys their age with their sexiness. I know this b/c I worked at a high school for 5 years and saw this every day. I understand hormones run rampant in both young girls and young boys. It is difficult at best to try to keep life under control, even having the best examples at home, discussions of modesty and values, and taking your children to church with you every Sunday. A boy will treat a girl how she expects to be treated. It’s up to the girl to set the bar, and insist she be respected. A boy is not going to like a girl any more if her clothes are immodest…..many young men are searching for a girl who respects herself and upholds modest dress. These are virtues that are becoming more difficult to find, and the girls that hold on to them, stick out like a shining diamond. These are dark days & I know how difficult it is for young girls when the world is screaming at them that it’s okay to dress like that-all their friends dress like that, singers and rock stars certainly dress like that, and the world says that anything and everything that you want to do is “okay.” We know that is Satan talking there. We have to arm our kids with the word of God, and let them know throughout scripture, what God has to say about this. Sexual sin has been going on since the beginning of time, and if our kids have a good background of the scriptures, they can be armed to fight the good fight on God’s side. They need to be told and shown since little girls that they are beautiful and smart and funny and all things loveable and wonderful, so they do not go seeking this validation from just any guy that will pay attention to them. Mom and Dad, love your kids. Please don’t be afraid to discipline them when they make poor choices. Don’t even think of being their friend until they are grown. They have LOTS of friends-they only have 2 parents. Don’t let them down.

  318. Oh gosh, please don’t listen to the complaints about the photos of your boys. They look like they are just having fun and being goofy. SO NOT the same as a girl or guy in their bedroom purposely trying to be sexy for attention. This post is FABULOUS. I have a teen girl that just recently had a lightbulb moment regarding modesty! YAY! It came from spending time with good, moral, Jesus loving boys like yours :)
    God bless you and your beautiful family,
    Sherri Ohler

  319. Great post – loved the message and the content – but I couldn’t help but notice the irony in the fact that you posted such immodest pictures of your young boys. As their mom, I’m sure this was just another day at the beach. But for a young girl, this the exact same thing you were cautioning them against.

  320. Randy Aven says:

    Funny reading some of these comments. You sure can tell the liberal tree huggers from the rest. Some seem to just wait and read every single reply just so they can pounce with theirs and spew out some more drivel.

    We get it. You don’t think the boys should be in swimwear and blah blah blah.

    Double standard you say? Well you’re darn right it is! And in this case, absolutely nothing wrong with it. You think boys should be taught to respect women no matter how they see these young girls dressed? Well yes of course they should, but it makes it so damn hard as a parent to do so when all they see are these gals disrespecting themselves by their dress and their mannerisms.

    This world is and always will be a Man’s world. Chauvinistic statement? Nope. Not at all. Why? Until all women learn and adhere to the principles and morals that Mrs. Hall has just spelled out, they will always be looked at as objects. You put yourself out there as some “sex object” then that’s how you’ll be treated … forever. The porn industry and Hollywood has done wonders in setting back women. Mrs. Hall is merely doing a small part in helping these young ladies who are surrounded by so much immorality to learn a better path for themselves.

    My two cents.

  321. I was all for the letter until I saw the picture. I really was on Mrs. Hall’s side at first. The picture of the barely clothed children threw me off. It was what changed my perspective on what was being said. I just want to clarify that as to not appear to be rude. It is just what I am perceiving from what I see and read. I would not post a picture of my daughter half naked if I was preaching that boys should be clothed and more modest on the internet (boys do the same thing in their boxers and no shirts), because then I would be doing exactly what I am trying to prevent. I guess I am crazy, but it just does not seem right. I would have posted a picture that had fully clothed modest kids if that is what you are trying to get across to my daughter. You are giving my daughter food for thought when you put the boys out there scantly clothed. I thought that was exactly what you were not trying to do so I thought I would point it out. I just wanted to clarify why I said what I did because I guess sometimes I can come off rude when it is not meant to be harmful.

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