It starts slowly, but across the country a panic has set upon our church pews.
Quietly it grows, row by row, aisle by aisle, service by service as one by one, everyone who plays fantasy football resists the temptation to check their games during church.
It’s difficult, sitting their quietly while your team racks up points, not knowing how you’re doing.
Did the guy you sat blow up today? Is your quarterback playing well? Did anyone get injured?
And it sits there, your answer to all those questions, that tiny black box of statistical goodness.
Pick me up, just for a second, no one will know. It will be over before you know it, just one glance! Pretend you’re reading a Bible verse on your phone!
Do it during the offering and the announcements. That’s not worship, that’s housekeeping. Everyone knows you get a free pass to check your phone then. That’s in the Bible somewhere.
It’s even worse if you live on the West Coast. By the time you get out of church whole games have been played on the East Coast.
You throw the keys to your spouse and collapse in the passenger seat, desperate to see how your team is doing after church. Finally free!
It’s Fantasy Football Church Panic season folks, get ready.
Do you play fantasy football?