'Deliver us from the hypocrisy': U.S. Senate chaplain's caustic daily attacks on politicians during shutdown earns him army of fans - and even his own SNL skit

By David Martosko, U.S. Political Editor

Published: 20:47 GMT, 15 October 2013 | Updated: 06:09 GMT, 16 October 2013

The U.S. Senate chaplain has become a star after offering lawmakers his own caustic advice as the shutdown grinds on - so much so that he has even been parodied by Saturday Night Live comic Kenan Thompson.

Rev. Barry Black's words have become legend during the two-week partial government shutdown. 

Black, a former Navy rear admiral, offers morning prayers that open the Senate each day. Recent offerings have begged God to remove senators' 'stubborn pride' and 'forgive them for the blunders they have committed' as a potential debt default looms just days away.

'Have mercy upon us, oh God, and save us from the madness,' Black prayed aloud last Thursday morning, adding: 'Remove the burdens of those who are the collateral damage of this government shutdown, transforming negatives into positives as you work for the good of those who love you.'

Kenan Thompson executed a perfect sendup of Rev. Black's Senate prayers on Saturday Night Live

Kenan Thompson executed a perfect sendup of Rev. Black's Senate prayers on Saturday Night Live

Rev. Black, a former Navy rear admiral, ministers to the U.S. Senate with a mixture of prayer and anti-gridlock moralizing

Rev. Black, a former Navy rear admiral, ministers to the U.S. Senate with a mixture of prayer and anti-gridlock moralizing

ABC News interviewed the chaplain – the real one – who said that lawmakers are grateful for his direct approach to connecting with the almighty.

'One senator came to me,' Black explained, 'and said, "Chaplain, I hope our lawmakers are listening, because I've been following your prayers very closely for the last four to five days. And they are really making a difference in my reflections."'

Asked how he hopes to reach members of Congress when his prayers are really a one-to-one connection with God and not a communal, all-together-now prayer, he said that his flock gets the message anyway.

'The fact that they overhear it is just one of the fortuitous advantages of what I do,' he said.

But Kenan's send-up prayers were meant for millions to hear.

Rev. Black - the real one - told ABC News that senators tell him his prayers help guide their decisionmaking

Rev. Black - the real one - told ABC News that senators tell him his prayers help guide their decisionmaking

 

'Lord, bless and forgive these braying jackasses,' he intoned at one point, 'lest they do something and make people want to pin them on the floor, shove a sweaty sock in their mouth, and then whup them up and down with a pillowcase full of Skittles.'

'Make 'em taste the rainbow!'

'May they find themselves in a restroom stall devoid of toilet paper,' he continued, getting more absurd by the minute, 'with nothing to use but a receipt from CVS in their wallet.'

'A receipt for a small purchase that they will then tear into small piece.'

'And while they are futilely blotting their behinds, grant them grace to realize that they are destroying this great nation.'

'Lord, bless and forgive these braying jackasses, lest they do something and make people want to pin them on the floor, shove a sweaty sock in their mouth, and then whup them up and down with a pillowcase full of Skittles'

'Lord, bless and forgive these braying jackasses, lest they do something and make people want to pin them on the floor, shove a sweaty sock in their mouth, and then whup them up and down with a pillowcase full of Skittles'

 

The real McCoy, of course, is deadly serious.

'Lord,' he prayed on Oct. 9 before the Senate was gaveled into session, 'when our federal shutdown delays payments of death benefits to the families of children dying on faraway battlefields, it's time for our lawmakers to say "enough is enough."'

'Cover our shame with the robe of your righteousness. Forgive us, reform us and make us whole.'

It's unlikely Kenan studied that somber speech.

'Lord, send a flood to Washington and just drown everybody!' he yelled.

'Or at least allow your cleansing water to carry them to a place far, far away. Let 'em float down the Potomac, desperately grabbing at the branches.'

'And Lord, if it's not too much trouble, let me be in a row boat nearby, so that I can reach out my hand and then pull it back real quick, and run it through my hair as if to say, "Psych!" so that I may see them, but I do not want to be them. A-to-the-Men.'

Rev. Black is a fixture on Capitol Hill and at White House ceremonies, with a James Earl Jones-like baritone voice that demands attention and reflection

Rev. Black is a fixture on Capitol Hill and at White House ceremonies, with a James Earl Jones-like baritone voice that demands attention and reflection

Thompson 'prayed' with Weekend Update segment co-host Seth Myers that senators would 'find themselves in a restroom stall devoid of toilet paper with nothing to use but a receipt from CVS in their wallet'

Thompson 'prayed' with Weekend Update segment co-host Seth Myers that senators would 'find themselves in a restroom stall devoid of toilet paper with nothing to use but a receipt from CVS in their wallet'

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