So, the Great Ronaldo was 'deeply offended' by Blatter's comical impersonation... he should learn to laugh it off, just like Bally
By Jeff Powell
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Somewhere down the decades football has suffered a humour by-pass. The simple game we grew up with has become over-bloated with its self-importance.
Nowhere is that tendency more pronounced than among some of its most celebrated players, nor the comparison with heroes of the past more invidious.
Consider contrasting stories about Cristiano Ronaldo and Alan Ball.
VIDEO Scroll down to watch Ronaldo showing some bulge and talking Blatter
Self-important: Cristiano Ronaldo was 'deeply offended' by some mockery from Sepp Blatter (below)
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The ones about Ronny being ‘deeply offended’ by a comical impersonation of his glorified self… and Bally just having to laugh at himself upon being mischievously lampooned.
The Great Ronaldo – yes, football is as much a circus as a game these days – has persuaded Real Madrid to make official his complaint to FIFA about their president Sepp Blatter making harmless fun of him during a speech to the Oxford Union.
Yes, really.
Herr Blatter accepts, with a smile and a chuckle, being caricatured (mostly in the British media) as anything from a lederhosen-clad thigh slapper to a gnome of a Swiss banker.
Ronaldo leaps on his high horse when the head honcho of the world game mimics some of his grandiose mannerisms and teases him about his hair cut. He should have taken it as a compliment to his fame.
So let me tell him about Bally.
Our pint-sized dynamo had just been called up by England for the first time, to join the squad for a summer tour of North America.
He was, in truth, a mite full of himself as the lads boarded the plane for Canada.
The aircraft had a section upstairs which served as a bar and lounge area.
During take-off Bobby Moore sternly advised Ball that it was his job, as the new boy, to rush upstairs the moment the seat belt sign was switched off ‘to make sure we’re first on chalks for the snooker table.’
Eagerly, come the moment he rushed to do his captain’s bidding..
When he came back down he did so slowly, red-faced with embarrassment but ready to join in the hilarity at his expense.
For the record, wee Bally grew into a World Cup winner.
Contrast: Cristiano Ronaldo takes himself very seriously, whereas Alan Ball (right) could laugh at himself
Ronaldo, all his considerable and exciting ability notwithstanding, has yet to equal that accomplishment. Perhaps it would have helped accelerate the process had his considerable ego been punctured by the odd practical joke earlier in his career.
Meanwhile, if there is any real argument about who should win FIFA’s Ballon d’Or as the 2013 World Footballer of the Year, let the voters consider the virtue of humility.
Another delve into the archives brings us to Sir Tom Finney.
More years ago than either of us might care to remember, I stood next to the Preston Plumber at the launch of a first attempt to establish a Football Hall of Fame in this country.
That ill-fated venture in London is long forgotten but the memory of Finney’s modesty lives to this day.
One TV screen was showing old film of Sir Tom playing for England. The one next to it carried a recording of the latest FA Cup final.
Modest: Sir Tom Finney insists he would not have been able to cope with modern football but with training techniques today he would be the match of any player
‘What do you think?’ I asked him.
‘Oh, it’s a bit embarrassing,’ said Finney. ‘The game’s so much faster now.’
It took three or four of us to convince him that given up-to-date training techniques he would be more than the match of any more modern player and still England’s greatest footballer… which he remains to this day.
It is no coincidence that Sir Tom, now in his 90s, is hugely admiring of Lionel Messi.
Not only because one great player recognises another but because, like himself, Messi is modest.
Barcelona’s little genius is a mite embarrassed by all the praise. He resists attempts to elevate him above Diego Maradona, the brother Argentine he acclaims as the best player the world has ever seen.
Finney's favourite: The Preston Plumber loves watching Lionel Messi play
Quite simply, he just loves playing the game. Had he been of Finney’s generation, he would have done so for a like pittance and been happy to take the bus to training.
There are no prizes for guessing who Finney would vote for in the current ballot. And never mind that little Leo has won it the last four years.
If you’re the best, you should keep winning the title.
And as Bobby Moore used to say – and would tell Ronaldo if he was still with us: ‘If you’re quite good at something, you don’t have to tell everybody.’
The lack of even one English player on FIFA’s World Footballer of the Year shortlist serves as a reminder of how well manager Roy Hodgson has done to get us to Brazil 2014 – and how difficulty it will be to get over that quarter final barrier next summer.
The Premier League's five contenders are all foreign – Sergio Aguero, Robin van Persie, Yaya Toure, Mesut Ozil and, curiously, Eden Hazard – yet still have to concede numerical supremacy of nominations to Spain’s La Liga, where Gareth Bale is finally up and running.
In the running: Yaya Toure is one of the Premier League's five nominees for the Ballon d'Or
Foreign legion: Sergio Aguero (left), Mesut Ozil (right), Robin van Persie (below left) and Eden Hazard make up the Premier League's Ballon d'Or quintet
Write caption here
But even if the voters by-pass Messi and Ronaldo the Golden Ball is unlikely to be coming home.
Not with Zlatan Ibrahimovic scoring a goal of the season almost every other game.
Still, Sir Alex Ferguson must have a shout for Manager of the Year, probably in a head-to-head contest with another retiree, Jupp Heynckes, following his Champions League triumph with Bayern Munich.
Certain Premier League bigwigs were noticeable by their absence from the FA’s historic and wonderfully traditional 125th anniversary banquet.
No real surprise there, churlish though it comes across, since they seem to imagine that football in this country started just 21 years ago.
It was in 1992 that they broke away from the Football League, merely founded 1888.
Since they were so disparaging of the old League, let us remind them of the wisdom of numerous philosophers who have had this to say, in what amounts to these words: ‘If we forget our history, we are doomed to repeat it.’
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Claude Sachikonye, Harare, Zimbabwe, 14 hours ago
Very bad comment, missed the point completely. Messi has been winning the most important thing year in year out and out here we are busy saying Ronaldo is better than Messi because bla.. bla... ! How come FIFA choose Messi four times concecutively when there is such a close call. One would balance it by making the two concerned players win it, one more than the other, that would be better. After such a case, the FIFA President comes out and says he prefers Messi over Ronny. The world still expect Ronny to take it lightly, no way. Infact, it has madethe whole world to agree with Ronaldo that Messi has preferential treatments over him hence wining everything. The BaloonDor whaever lost its value especially on Messi. Look at the time we had Figo, Zidedine, Ronaldino, Ronaldo (Brazil), the cup was shared and it was fair. Not now when players are having to pay to win it, Blatter sad Messi is a kind man !!!