26, engaged and still a virgin: The groom-to-be abstaining from sex because he 'takes it seriously'
- James Ivan Layne, a writer and photographer from Indianapolis, wrote about being a virgin in a public essay for Salon.com
- 'I'm not abstaining because of religion, rebellion or any kooky anti-sex group. It’s actually a decision I made all by myself,' he revealed
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A straight 26-year-old man has opened up about the fact he is still a virgin - not due to religious reasons or lack of opportunity - but because he 'takes sex seriously'.
James Ivan Layne, a writer and photographer from Indianapolis, reveals in a candid article for Salon.com that he's a 'pretty typical' twenty-something - a keen fan of 'rock music, Tiger Woods and tattoos' - the one difference is, he's never slept with a woman.
The red-head, who says he had girlfriends throughout high school and is now engaged to be married, goes on to explain his reasoning: '[Sex] is the deed that creates life . . . I [take] it seriously.
Sticking to his guns: James Ivan Layne, 26, has opened up about the fact he is still a virgin - not due to religious reasons or lack of opportunity - but because sex is something he 'takes seriously'
'I knew, even [as a teenager], that I only wanted to experience its joy and pleasure with one person, and not until we were ready.
'What might be even more surprising is that [I'm not] abstaining because of religion, rebellion or any kooky anti-sex group. It’s actually a decision I made all by myself.'
He says that he has always felt 'ashamed' about his abstinence and only confided in close friends.
When the topic came up at work or in social situations he would usually lie or stay silent.
'I'm not abstaining because of religion, rebellion or any kooky anti-sex group. It's actually a decision I made all by myself'
The most prejudice, he says, usually comes from 'middle-aged men with a deep love of fried food and Vin Diesel.'
But now by speaking up, he hopes to make others feel at ease about 'waiting for the right moment'.
'If you haven’t had sex yet because
you’re not ready, you are not weird. You don’t need to get laid.
'Find a group of people who let you feel at ease with the decisions in your life,' he encourages in his public essay, which has attracted mixed responses.
Indeed, one commentator wrote: 'Congratulations. You missed your sexual prime. Sex will never be as good as it is when you are 18 . . . [when you can] have bed-destroying marathons.'
Perfect match! The red-head has been in a relationship for the past four years with Emily Weis, 24, she is also a virgin - the two plan on tying the knot in the summer of 2015
However, another added with more encouragement: 'Good for you. Be true to yourself . . .When the time comes, put a do not disturb sign on your front door, take a long vacation, and enjoy!'
Regardless of other peoples' opinion Mr Layne says he will stick to his guns.
He has been in a relationship with a 24-year-old woman named Emily Weis for the past four years and they plan on tying the knot in 2015.
Making them the perfect match, Miss Weis is also a virgin for the same reasons as Mr Layne.
'It’s no wonder we found each other, right?' joked Mr Layne.
He says, along with regarding sex as something 'serious', the risk of pregnancy also weighs on their minds.
'I can't wait to have sex. Frankly, my fianee and I will have sex whenever we decide to - whether it's before our wedding or not'
The couple say they want to 'play it safe' while concentrating on their careers.
'Yes, there are many forms of healthy protection, but none is greater than abstaining,' Mr Layne writes.
'In addition to being a full-time wedding photographer, my fiancée is also a kindergarten teacher, which is a form of birth control itself. Teachers know what I’m talking about.'
Mr Layne says that no intercourse does not mean a 'lack of intimacy, 'sexual behavior' or 'love' between him and his fiancee. They may or may not wait until their wedding day to sleep together.
The groom-to-be concludes: 'An important point I must bring up is
that I want to have sex. I can’t wait to have sex.
'Frankly, my fianee
and I will have sex whenever we decide to - whether it’s before our
wedding or not - and when that day comes we will deal with the
ramifications, good and bad.
'But I don’t feel that there’s anything missing in my life right now for not having it.'
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Jay, New Jersey, United States, 3 hours ago
Waiting until marriage is one of the stupidest things a person can do, enjoy being young, and settle down when you're ready. As long as you have safe sex and aren't hooking up with people minutes after you meet them, there's absolutely nothing wrong with pre-maritial sex
Melannaise, Florida_USA, 56 minutes ago