Female Sea Captains! Lady Gaga's missing sketch on SNL gets a second look after being thrown overboard
|
There's usually a reason why a skit ends up on the cutting room floor and in this case seasickness might have been the cause.
Yet Lady Gaga's not-so-funny sketch First Female Sea Captains has managed to resurface on the internet allowing Saturday Night Live fans a glimpse of what they missed when the Poker Face singer did double duty as host and musical guest on November 16.
Lady Gaga is seen in full sea captain garb from cap to heavy navy coat as she struggles to steer the ship, her face contorting comically.
Scroll down to view video...
Arr: Lady Gaga took to the high seas in a deleted sketch from her November 16 stint as host and musical guest on Saturday Night Live
'The salty air's grizzled our voices and worn away our feminine charms!' the entertainer blasts in her best seafaring shout.
The sketch begins with an overly dramatic voiceover explaining, 'Centuries ago, Portsbridge, Connecticut was a quaint but prosperous whaling town selling everything from whale oil to... whales. Just pieces of whales.
'It was the jewel of New England! Until one day, all of the sea captains in the town fell ill of scurvy. Or herpes. We'll never know which one. Although they definitely had plenty of Vitamin C... But I digress.'
No feminine flair: The singer is shown struggling to steer the ship amidst a group of babbling mates in the unaired skit entitled Female Sea Captains
Feeling seasick: Lady Gaga's sketch features a slew of silly jokes about crow's feet, feminine flair and women's penchant for asking for directions when lost
The voiceover continues: 'With the fate of the town in their hands, the womenfolk replaced their husbands at the helm of the ship. They became the first Female Sea Captains!'
'This is life on the open ocean,' one of the cast members dressed up as a rowdy second mate shouts in Gaga's ear.
Another lady sailor breaks in to tell them, 'Fellow female sea captains, I've just come from the crow's nest!'
'Nonsense, I can barely notice your crows feet!' Lady Gaga replies.
Whale of a time: The entertainer blasts a white whale for borrowing her earrings and never giving them back and for stealing her boyfriend
'No, I said crow's nest!' the sailor repeats emphatically.
'On, my mistake,' Lady Gaga corrects.
When the sailor says she fears they have lost their way, Lady Gaga asserts: 'That is no worry at all for we female sea captains are very comfortable pulling over and asking for directions.'
Through the telescope she spies a trio of bare-chested men with pretty green tails relaxing on the rocks.
Born This Way: Lady Gaga's turn on SNL, which included a Madonna spoof, won mostly positive reviews
Flapper: The singer danced and clapped through a riveting jazz number
'It's a merman!' she shouts. 'Don't be fooled by their devilish merman charms. They are not good long-term prospects.'
Then they all sing a song: 'What do we with a drunken sailor ... hold their hair while she pukes.'
A male stowaway in striped shirt is found, and he tells one sailor that he doesn't like her eye patch, 'it's so 1831.'
'He must catwalk the plank!' Gaga orders, and as the stowaway dances and prances on the wooden beam he says his final words: 'I'm so overboard.'
Loving life: Lady Gaga was literally skipping for joy as she left the SNL after party on November 16
'I feel terrible taking a man's life like that,' Gaga scoffs while the camera pans to the stowaway getting cosy with the three mermen on the rocks.
The sketch also features a white whale a la Moby Dick, with the singer belching out: 'There she blows! It's the white whale herself... Slay this foul creature once and for all... She borrowed my earrings and never gave them back. And then she started seeing my ex-boyfriend... Let's attack and send that beast between the devil and the deep blue sea.'
The skit ends with the ladies dancing and singing a diddy.
- Moment heavily pregnant woman hits belly with HAMMER
- GRAPHIC: Russian man nails testicles to Red Square in...
- Prank goes sour when girlfriend admits she's cheated too
- Take a glimpse inside the world of competitive TWERKING
- Guy makes gun AFTER passing through airport security
- Take a tour inside the hand-made £150 COB HOUSE
- Watch Duffy the dog work the washing machine and do the...
- Latest in horseshoe chic. How to put on GluShu
- Watch Aussie family's record half-million Christmas lights...
- VIDEO: Wedding Gangnam Style dance ends with three dead
- Chef Giada gets stitches after cutting her finger live on TV
- WATCH: Topless Kim Kardashian straddles Kanye in Bound 2...
- Pictured on his death bed: Beloved son who fell into a coma...
- 'We've got to finish the job': Obama takes on hecklers to...
- Inside the sinister bedroom of the Sandy Hook shooter:...
- Man broadcasts naked, passed out wife live online with his...
- Olympic skier Bode Miller begins latest round of bitter...
- Farmer builds a house for just £150 using materials he found...
- Horror as screaming woman collapses in the streets after...
- Father of boy, 9, killed in tornado says he believes photo...
- 'Take that haters!': Pregnant mother whose body-building...
- Man builds homemade gun from items that can all be purchased...
- Why two best friends, 40, with non-life threatening diseases...
- Budge up possums, Edna's here! Charles and Camilla left in...
The World, Earth, 16 hours ago
yeah get why it was cut.