'Black Friday' stampedes in BRITISH stores: Chaos and arrests as shoppers across the UK fight it out for best bargains and electrical goods sell out in Asda in just TWO MINUTES

friday

A male shopper has been arrested at an Asda store during the Black Friday rush for cut price goods. These extraordinary pictures show the man being tackled by security guards at the store in Cribbs Causeway, Bristol. Frenzied shoppers were scrambling to make the most of Black Friday this morning - with Asda stores across the country selling out of electrical items in minutes. According to one witness, there was an orderly queue outside the store in Benton, North Tyneside - where tablets were on sale for just £49 - from around 6am this morning.

Sir Bradley Wiggins forced to apologise after cracking sex joke at Barnado's charity event for child abuse victims

Off comment: Sir Bradley Wiggins with his wife Catherine were at the event earlier this month where the cycling star made a rude joke that shocked diners

The cycling great asked the compere to 's*** me off' because he had a 'posh voice' but diners at the £300-a-head event in Harrogate were 'stunned into silence'. Alcohol had been running 'extremely freely' at the exclusive Rudding Park Hotel in North Yorkshire, but MailOnline understands that Sir Bradley, who was there with his wife Catherine, was not drunk. Wiggins had donated a signed shirt to raise money and as his face appeared on a big screen he was heard saying to Jon Hammond, the auctioneer, 'You've got a posh voice. I like posh voices. S*** me off'. His shirt still made around £5,000 for charity.

NHS wards that 80 per cent wouldn't recommend: Damning first results from Government's flagship 'friends and family' test

No-go: Blackpool Victoria Hospital's ward 12 which no patients said they would recommend

There are 19 wards across England including Blackpool Victoria Hospital’s ward 12 where patients said they would not recommend the care to their friends and family.

Sony's PlayStation 4 finally launches in the UK - and gears up for the pre-Christmas console battle with the Xbox One

Sony's PS4 is finally launched in the UK

Hundreds of gamers camped for hours to be the first to get their hands on the fourth-generation Sony console when the shops across the UK opened at midnight.

Pensioner's false leg pulled off by police after they mistook him for a burglar in his own home

Officers thought the pensioner was a burglar after being called by a neighbour who was spooked by the noise

Officers dragged Peter Williams, 70, from Boothstown, Salford, from a window causing his prosthetic limb to become detached and dislocating his shoulder.

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Freezing weather to last until March: Britain to be stuck under cold front 'for the next three months'

Britain will have to wrap up warm from next week as Arctic winds bring a cold front for the next month at least

Forecasters have warned temperatures in December and set to be lower than average for this time of year as the country is hit by northerly winds.

Woman who mysteriously died when living at London 'slave house' Maoist commune went to University with Cherie Blair

Sian Davies studied for a masters degree at LSE

Sian Davies graduated with a masters degree at the London School of Economics in 1975 alongside the wife of former Prime Minister Tony Blair who had studied law.

E-cigarettes could be outlawed by Brussels plan to treat them as tobacco products because they are 'too realistic'

E-cigarettes with high levels of nicotine or which taste like tobacco could be banned under new EU rules

European officials claim the devices ‘normalise the action of smoking’ and should be subject to the same rules as other tobacco products.

Nigella and Saatchi aides blew £1million a year on credit cards: One woman splashed £8,000 on designer clothes in a single day

Charles Saatchi

The couple's huge wealth meant paying £1million a year in credit card bills for their personal assistants was considered too ‘trivial’ to worry about, a court heard.

Nigella and Saatchi's assistants 'treated worse than Filipino slaves': Jury hears claims by aides accused of £76,000-a-month 'shop till you drop' spree as Charles Saatchi makes brief appearance at court

Charles Saatchi

Mr Saatchi (pictured) will give evidence against his two former personal assistants at Isleworth Crown Court tomorrow.

Last time he looked like this was throttlegate: Charles Saatchi appears confident and professional as he arrives at court

Evidence: Charles Saatchi is ushered into the court by security as he makes his way past press photographers this afternoon

The trial of the their former aides the Grillo sisters at Isleworth Crown Court has already spilled so many secrets of Mr Saatchi and Miss Lawson.

'A crucifix is now just a fashion statement and has lost religious meaning': Justin Welby says the purpose of wearing a cross has been lost

The Most Rev Justin Welby claimed the cross has been trivialised and is now a sign of beauty as well as faith

The Archbishop of Canterbury has written in the foreword of a new book that the cross has been trivialised and ceases to shock or challenge people.

Annual house prices surge by 6.5% - the highest rise since 2010 as average house prices rise to £175,000

Boom time: House prices rose 6.5 per cent year-on-year in November, marking the fastest annual increase seen in more than three years

Prices have been rising every month for the last year and the latest monthly increase of 0.6 per cent took average UK house values to £174,566.

Not acting her age! Thirtysomething mother-of-one lands body-double role standing in for 19-year-old Hollywood screen siren

Laura Harold 33, who was a body double for teenage Hollywood starlet Saoirse Ronan 19

Laura Harold, from Dinas Powys, is a 33-year-old mother of one who appears in the Hollywood blockbuster 'How I Live Now' in place of actress Saoirse Ronan, 19.

Two armed men 'hit soldier Lee Rigby with a car at 40mph before trying to decapitate him with a meat cleaver'

First day of trial: Family members and loved ones of murdered soldier Lee Rigby (left to right) Ian Rigby, his stepfather, fiancee Aimee West his sister Sara McClure and his mother Lyn Rigby arrive at the Old Bailey

Michael Adebolajo, 28, and Michael Adebowale, 22, are charged with killing the Fusilier, from Manchester, as he walked back to Woolwich Barracks in south-east London on May 22. They are also each accused of attempting to murder a police officer on the same day, and conspiracy to murder a police officer on or before that day. Drummer Rigby's fiancee Aimee West walked into the Central Criminal Court with Ian Rigby, his stepfather, mother Lyn and sister Sara McClure.

Three-quarters of girls are sexually harassed and a fifth of primary school-aged pupils have been on a diet, worrying report reveals

Girls aged 11 to 21 are as likely to have been harassed at school as on the street

Sexism has become so rife in everyday life that 75% of schoolgirls say they are sexually harassed, while one in five 7-year-olds admit to having gone on a diet to conform to body image pressure.

The best things in life are free: How cuddles, country walks and saying 'I love you' are our everyday pleasures

The good life: A cuddle with a partner came in at number one, followed by lazy days at home (posed by models)

Our favourite experiences really do cost nothing, a poll found - with the top 50 including receiving post, winter weather and cuddling a partner, which hit number one.

A very unlikely affair: Aggressive dog that was due to be put-down mellows after falling in love with a goose

She's my bird: Rex the German Shepherd dog has puppy dog eyes for his Geraldine

Rex the German Shepherd was so vicious it would take two people to feed him, but he has settled down after finding love with a goose called Geraldine in Somerset.

Energy bills chaos: Government denies begging Big Six energy firms not to put up prices until 2015 ahead of green levy cut

Prime Minister David Cameron said he was determined to roll back the green levies which push up bills

David Cameron said he was determined to ‘roll back' costs which add to bills, but again dismissed Labour’s promise of a two-year price freeze as a 'con'.

Old Etonian army officer shot dead at point blank range moments after giving a gun back to Afghan 'ally'

Inquest: Lieutenant Edward Drummond-Baxter, 29, was shot dead by a man in Afghan Police uniform at a checkpoint in Afghanistan, an inquest heard

Eton-educated Lieutenant Edward Drummond-Baxter, 29, from County Durham, pictured, returned an AK-47 to an Afghan he believed to be an ally who then shot him at close range, an inquest heard.

It is 'old-fashioned' that only mothers stay at home to look after babies, says Nick Clegg as he extends parental leave for dads

Working couple: Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg and wife Miriam who have three sons

The Deputy Prime Minister said the current system, which means a father can only take a fortnight off after the birth of a child, was ‘Edwardian’.

Body of woman not seen for THIRTY YEARS is found with her dead daughter after police break into their home that was on verge of collapse

Grim find: A police officer stands guard outside the crumbling home where the bodies of two women, believed to be Caroline Jessett and her elderly mother Pauline were found

Police are not treating the deaths of Caroline Jessett and her mother Pauline, who lived in the rundown home in Littlemore, Oxfordshire, as suspicious. After discovering Caroline's body last week police had to leave the house due to fears it might collapse on them. They returned today and found Pauline. Neighbours described both women as reclusive, and said they had not seen the older woman for 30 years.

Furious Cameron tells EU chief to rein in commissioner who called Britain 'nasty' for curbing benefits for migrants

Laszlo Andor has accused David Cameron of not telling the truth about immigration

The Prime Minister, who is in Lithuania for talks with EU leaders, said Laszlo Andor’s remarks were 'inappropriate' and suggested he should be sacked.

Human Rights Court is dictating law like East Germany, warns leading judge

Sweeping attack: Lord Sumption, pictured, made his case against the European Court of Human Rights in a speech in Malaysia

Lord Sumption, a judge in the Supreme Court said the court has 'a significant democratic deficit' and is undermining Parliament.

Church of England to allow blessings for gays: Decision could pave way for reversal of opposition to same-sex marriages

Recommendations: The report was put together by former civil servant Sir Joseph Pelling, pictured

A report by former civil servant Sir Joseph Pilling said parishes 'should be free to mark the formation of a permanent same-sex relationship'.

'They should be fired!': Alan Sugar in blast at BBC jobsworths who stop money being spent on better programmes

Star: Lord Sugar is one of the BBC's best-known figures, fronting The Apprentice with Karren Brady and Nick Hewer

The Apprentice frontman said the BBC should axe the bureaucrats and managers who obsess with penny-pinching and instead focus on producing world-class programmes.

Salmond's dream of independent Scotland joining the EU is shattered by threat of Spanish veto

Scotland's First Minister Alex Salmond was challenged about his plans to join the EU

The First Minister was challenged over his plans to stay in the European Union after Spain's Mariano Rajoy insisted Scotland could not become a member automatically.

UK could clear its deficit within five years as recovery gathers pace, predicts leading City think tank

George Osborne said the UK¿s 'hard work is paying off' and the country is now 'on the path to prosperity'

The report, by the research group Capital Economics, will come as a boost to George Osborne (pictured) ahead of his autumn statement next week.

Politicians fiddled their expenses because they were bored by increasingly 'irrelevant' Parliament, says John Bercow

Claims: Commons speaker John Bercow, pictured with wife Sally, said the scandal was a result of Westminster becoming less 'meaningful'

The Commons speaker, pictured with his wife, Sally, blamed the scandal on Westminster becoming less 'meaningful' and said it was not a case of 'malice or malpractice'.

Salmond's dream of independent Scotland joining the EU is shattered by threat of Spanish veto

Scotland's First Minister Alex Salmond was challenged about his plans to join the EU

The First Minister was challenged over his plans to stay in the European Union after Spain's Mariano Rajoy insisted Scotland could not become a member automatically.

Did banks 'con' Cable over Royal Mail sale? Business minister tells MPs that powerful financial players threatened to walk away if share price was more than £3.30

Grilling: Business Secretary Vince Cable answers questions in front of the Business, Innovation and Skills Select Committee over the privatisation of Royal Mail

Banks ‘conned’ ministers into setting the Royal Mail share price too low - causing the taxpayer to lose out on millions, MPs were told yesterday.

Some people are just too stupid to get on in life, Boris Johnson claims sparking row about his 'unpleasant, careless elitism'

London Mayor Boris Johnson, pictured on a visit last week, said some people were simply not bright enough to succeed in the modern world

The London Mayor sparked a furious political row after arguing that tackling economic inequality is 'futile' because some people’s IQ is too low for them to compete.

The immigration backlash: Germany and France join PM in call for crackdown on benefit tourism as Hungarian eurocrat brands UK the 'nasty country' of Europe

Hours after David Cameron outlined a crackdown on benefit tourism, France and Germany sensationally followed suit with similar plans

Hours after David Cameron outlined a crackdown on benefit tourism, France and Germany sensationally followed suit with similar plans.

Baby choked to death on shepherd's pie on her third day at nursery after '999 call handler told staff to phone back if she got any worse'

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Millie Thompson was being fed mashed-up shepherd's pie by staff when she started coughing and crying and her lips turned blue, an inquest was told today. Staff at Ramillies Hall nursery in Cheadle Hulme, Greater Manchester, performed first aid on the nine-month-old and called an ambulance. However, because she was still conscious and breathing, a call operator told workers there was no need to stay on the line and advised them to call back if her condition worsened.

Widow whose husband died from a heart attack after being told he had indigestion and muscle ache four times gets £100,000 compensation

After a four-year battle, Sharon has been awarded £100,000 by Queen Elizabeth Hospital King¿s Lynn NHS Foundation Trust

Ian Jardine suffered crushing pains in his chest and shortness of breath at work and was rushed to Queen Elizabeth Hospital in King’s Lynn, Norfolk.

Grandmother, 82, is served with eviction notice in HOSPITAL where she's been a patient for nine months... and she has to leave by today

Homeless: Joan Parker, 82,

Joan Parker has been in Milton Keynes Hospital since suffering a brain injury in February. Despite being fit to leave since June, the local council has been unable to find her suitable accommodation.

'I started pulling my hair out at 12 - and was bald by 16': Student with 'compulsive' condition becomes online sensation after making videos about her ordeal

Rebecca Brown preview

Rebecca Brown, 20, from Essex, has trichotillomania - the compulsive urge to pull out her hair. She has now posted videos on YouTube showing photos she took of herself everyday for five years.

Headmistress BANS excited school children from mentioning Christmas until December

A head teacher has defended her schoolís policy of banning children from talking about Christmas until December

Headmistress Jane Porter at Whitehill Primary School in Gravesend, Kent said festive excitement was taking hold too early and distracting the pupils.

Boy, 9, had half of his ear chewed off after he was mauled by his teacher's Labrador on school trip

Collect photo of Marshall Gearing at Northampton A+E

Marshall Gearing, nine, from Northampton was stroking the brown Labrador when it suddenly jumped up and sank its jaws into the side of his head.

Heartache of British woman forced to live as single mother because new immigration rules prevent Ecuadorian doctor husband moving to the UK

Family separated

Elizabeth Celi Parr, from Devon, met Ramiro Alexander Celi Moreno in his native Ecuador - the couple have been married for two years and had their first child, Olivia, 21 months ago.

'I grew a moustache for Movember - and now I want to KEEP it': Woman, 29, ditches her razor to raise awareness of medical condition that caused facial hair

Awareness: Sarah O'Neill has facial hair on her upper lip and chin as a result of suffering from polycystic ovarian syndrome.

Sarah O'Neill, from Hull, suffers from polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), which can cause excess hair on the face. She said: I wanted people to know that I'm not lazy or unclean, it's just a medical condition.'

Make ginger taunts a hate crime, says father of girl, 15, found dead in the woods after being bullied

Helena Farrell

Helena Farrell, from Kendal, Cumbria, suffered bullying all of her life over her ginger hair - and her father Enda claims it contributed to her death.

PCSO sues property firm for thousands after tripping and injuring knee while investigating reported break-in

Claim: Merseyside PCSO Pauline Harrison is suing a property firm after injuring herself while on duty

Pauline Harrison fell over while investigating reports of a break-in at a derelict building in Merseyside which once housed a school.

Guilty, carers who abused dementia patients for fun: One resident was tipped out of his wheelchair, while another was stomped on

Care home

Carol Ann Moor, Katie Cairns and Gemma Pearson (left to right) mocked, bullied and assaulted eight residents at Hillcroft home in Slyne-with-Hest, Lancashire, with severe dementia because they would have no memory of the abuse, which lasted 16 months. One man was slapped on the face and tipped out of his wheelchair, Preston Crown Court heard. Another had his foot stamped on while a third was humiliated by having his nipples twisted. Residents were also pelted with balls and beanbags.

One of Britain's longest serving coroners is jailed for plundering £2million from the estates of dead people

Alan Crickmore will be sentenced today for plundering the estates of dead trustees in a bid to relieve his own debt

Alan Crickmore served as coroner for Gloucestershire since 2002, during which time he plundered the estates of dead trustees in a 'frantic' bid to relieve the debt of his own law firm. He was jailed for eight years today.

Teacher, 33, jailed for sex in her home with pupil of 16: Drama mistress met strangers for outdoor trysts while pursuing boy

Janette Kilner, 33, collected him from outside St Thomas the Apostle College in Nunhead and taking him back to her home, Snaresbrook Crown Court heard.

Janette Kilner (pictured), 33, met the boy while teaching him at St Thomas the Apostle College in Nunhead and later took him back to her home for sex, Snaresbrook Crown Court heard.

'You left her body to rot': Judge condemns 'breathtakingly wicked' conman as he jails him for 27 years for stabbing wealthy escort to death and stripping her assets

Rakesh Bhayani, 41, has been jailed for 27 years at the Old Bailey for the murder of Carole Waugh, 49

Rakesh Bhayani, 41, befriended 'lonely' Carole Waugh, 49, before killing her at her London flat and hiding her body so he could steal her identity and blow her money on gambling and prostitutes.

'You executed the man you hated': Chinese man jailed for 40 YEARS for slaughtering former business partner, his wife and their two young children in revenge attack

Guilty: Anxiang Du has been convicted of murder over the death of the Ding family in 2011

Anxiang Du, 54, was convicted by a jury at Northampton Crown Court of murdering university lecturer Jifeng 'Jeff' Ding and his family.

I never want to see canoe conman again! He's just a sleazy old man says Ukrainian blonde, 25, he flew 1,700 miles to date

Pictured: The blonde 25-year-old Ukrainian mail order bride who will land canoe conman John Darwin, 63, back in jail

Canoe fraudster John Darwin is up the creek again after a failed effort to find a Ukrainian bride. The 63-year-old has been dumped by a woman less than half his age who labelled him a ‘sex-starved criminal’.

A real hard man: Accepted by the SAS, Lewis Collins was even tougher than his legendary role in The Professionals...and, amazingly, he almost joined The Beatles

Lewis Collins preview

The British actor, who died yesterday at his home in Los Angeles, was a super-fit part-time paratrooper from the docks of Birkenhead on Merseyside. He applied to the Special Air Service when The Professionals finished but senior offices ruled his celebrity status made him a security risk. He started out training as a hairdresser in the Sixties before turning his attention to being a musician before he eventually took up acting. He might have thought that fans had forgotten him. But the extraordinary outpouring of affection - as news of his death spread on social media yesterday - proves how fondly he was remembered.

Legal highs Benzo Fury and NBOMe to be banned by ministers after being linked to deaths

Deadly: A sample of 251-NBOMe - a recently discovered psychedelic substance which is to be banned

The government’s official drugs advisers said NBOMe would be outlawed permanently as a class A substance and Benzo Fury be controlled as a class B substance.

Caring teacher died after being exposed to asbestos from hanging pupils' work on contaminated classroom walls for 25 years

Marion Potts last worked at the Romsey School in Hampshire though it has been declared safe by Hampshire City Council. It is not known where she was exposed to asbestos

Marion Potts, 63, died in June after contracting mesothelioma, a form of cancer related to the inhalation of asbestos. The teacher was not exposed to asbestos in her last post at The Romsey School, Romsey, Hampshire (pictured).

Clarifications & Corrections

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Clarifications & Corrections

'Rip-off' pension fund charges will be capped - but minister WON'T say whether people already in schemes will be included

The pensions minister said new caps on the rates company management funds can charge customers will ensure 'value for money'

The pensions minister Steve Webb today said the Government will introduce laws to ensure people paying in to pension funds receive value for money, though did not reveal whether those already paying in will benefit from new regulations.

The cry of a baby? No, men are 'genetically programmed' to get emotional about flash CARS, claim scientists

The cry of a baby? No, men are 'genetically programmed' to get emotional about flash CARS, claim scientists

Men and women were shown pictures of cars and crying babies by car maker Volvo, who then analysed their brainwave patterns.

Woman driver lucky to be alive after her car exploded into a giant fireball seconds after she fled the vehicle

fireball

A female driver fled her car moments before it burst into flames on the A217 near St Dunstan's Hill in Surrey. The student lost all her college assignments in the blaze, though fire fighters were able to retrieve her make-up bag.

Every instrument tells a story: From Willie Nelson's Trigger to John Rzeznik's Halfcaster, new book sheds light on the world's greatest rock star guitars

Every instrument tells a story: From Willie Nelson's Trigger to John Rzeznik's Halfcaster, new book sheds light on the world's greatest rock star guitars

The supersized book '108 Rock Star Guitars' (Glitterati Inc.) demonstrates that six-stringed instruments owned by celebrities and virtuoso sidemen can look as good as they rock. The 17-year undertaking by photographer Lisa S. Johnson partly benefits the Les Paul Foundation. Paul, the Rock Hall musician-inventor, wrote the foreword before he died.

One hump or two, sir? Family who share their breakfast with a hungry camel

Joe the camel

Joe, a six-year-old Bactrian camel visits the Anderson-Dixon family's home every morning, and enjoys munching his way through carrots and bananas on the breakfast table.

Look what they've done to the Red Lion! Disused Mayfair pub is transformed into £25million five-bedroom home with cinema, roof terrace, underground swimming pool... and EIGHT bathrooms

Conversion: The whole of the building was demolished apart from the old facade of the former pub

The Red Lion, in Mayfair, shut down in 2009 and was sold to developers, who demolished the whole building apart from its facade.

What HAS this python eaten? Photograph of giant snake that appears to have eaten a human sweeps the internet… but did it actually kill anyone?

This incredible photograph, which appears to show a snake shortly after a human-sized meal, has sparked debate and confusion across the internet

The image, which has sweeped across social media sites, appears to show a python that has just finished a human-sized meal.

At least one of them is happy! Queen of Spain enjoys a cuddle with a panda cub... but it seems less pleased to be squeezed!

Queen Sofia of Spain hugs the panda at Zoo Aquarium in Madrid

The three-month-old giant panda bear received a regal hug from Queen Sofia of Spain at Zoo Aquarium in Madrid.

One dog's farewell to an old friend...and the tiny new companion who is helping to heal her pain

harlow and sage - COMP.jpg

Indiana the Dachshund is Harlow the Weimaraner's best friend after Sage died last year shortly after they became an Instagram sensation.

Art attack! The CIA's secret weapon: How an Alabama museum features paintings of spy works formerly displayed only at CIA headquarters

The Central Intelligence Agency used works of art to portray once-secret events that have since been declassified. The artwork provides a rare glimpse into decades of U.S. spy work.

The Central Intelligence Agency used works of art to portray once-secret events that have since been declassified. The artwork provides a rare glimpse into decades of U.S. spy work.

Orphaned baby flying foxes find a new home… with their own blankets, bottles and DUMMIES

These orphaned fly foxes are being cared for by volunteers who are refilling formula bottles, rotating dummies and swaddling them in blankets

The tiny Australian natives are being cared for at a special flying fox nursery at Wildlife Victoria in Melbourne, Australia.

The creepiest calendar ever? Scantily-clad models pose with COFFINS to advertise casket company

The church said the calendars were 'inappropriate'.

Polish company Lindner has released its fifth publication to feature half-naked models draped over its wares, each copy costs £30.

Rusting SS United States undergoing massive renovation to save the world's fastest ocean liner from being sold for scrap

America's flagship: Workers began a project in October to transform SS United States into a massive dockside attraction

The SS United States was launched in 1952, and by 1969 - after carrying four presidents, Marylin Monroe and a million other people across the Atlantic - it was retired from its regular duties.

Al Qaeda militants filmed executing rival Syrian rebel faction as the Islamists seeks to marginalise other groups

Members of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant stand over seven kneeling men before shooting them in the head

WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT: The amateur video shows members of the Islamic State in Iraq and Levant shooting seven more moderate rebels in the head in the town of Atarib.

Commuters PUSH train off a suicidal woman who had jumped in front of it on Japanese subway

Dozens of people worked together to push a train carriage back far enough for station staff to be able to help a woman who'd got trapped under a train in Tokyo

The incident happened yesterday afternoon on the JR Yamanote Line at Shibuya Station in Tokyo, Japan. The woman, reportedly in her 60s, was heard crying out for help from beneath the train.

France's socialist government warn they could ban private companies paying executives too much after pressuring Peugeot boss into giving up £17.5m pension

The French socialist government have threatened to stop private companies paying their executives too much after PSA Peugeot Citroen CEO Philippe Varin finally decided to turn down a £17.5m pension pot

Finance Minister Pierre Moscovici said 'we will have to legislate' after PSA Peugeot Citroen CEO Philppe Varin (pictured) to finally turn down the multi-million pound pension pot.

Four giant South American tropical fish survived being used to smuggle liquid cocaine on flight from Colombia to London

fish preview.jpg

Olaf Urlik, 33, and Norbert Jarzabek, 32, both of Poland attempted to smuggle 17 kilos of pure cocaine, worth millions, into the UK using bags containing live tropical fish. Both were jailed for 11 years for drug smuggling.

Now the Taliban target CRICKET commentators: Terror group spokesman condemns Pakistani media for praising Indian batsman Sachin Tendulkar in video rant

Sachin Tendulkar .jpg

In a bizarre rant, the terror groups' spokesman (pictured) urged the Press to praise much criticised Pakistani cricket captain Misbah-ul-Haq instead of Tendulkar.

Petrol bomb attack on moving bus leaves 18 people horribly burned and forces passengers to jump from the windows as vehicle crashes into electricity pole

Witnesses said some passengers were on fire as they jumped from the windows of the bus after a petrol bomb was thrown at it in Dhaka

Doctors said some passengers have suffered 40 per cent burns after the petrol bomb was thrown into the bus as it was driving through the capital Dhaka.

WORLD NEWS

WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT: The amateur video shows members of the Islamic State in Iraq and Levant shooting seven more moderate rebels in the head in the town of Atarib.        

Today's my 60th. I've only ever had two presents that I really liked. So what does my wife buy for a curmudgeon like me?

Ingenious: Since opening his iPad Mini last year, it has been Tom Utley's pride and joy

TOM UTLEY: It's not as if I've tried deliberately to be uncooperative. On the contrary, I've racked my brains to think of something. It's just that I can't.

LITTLEJOHN: And over on BBC... another £1bn wasted

Littlejohn

BBC boss Tony Hall says the Corporation should be 'less British' in promoting itself and justifying the licence fee. Here's how the schedules could look next year . . .

DAILY MAIL COMMENT: Will Mr Clegg ever join the real world?

Posturing: Nick Clegg's top priority is to impose more burdensome red tape on employers

In the rarefied, politically-correct world of the posturing Nick Clegg, his top priority is to impose a hugely complex and burdensome new regime of shared parental leave on struggling employers.

QUENTIN LETTS: After cigs, will they ban jazzy designs on fruit pastilles?

Jane Ellison, Health Minister, bootishly told MPs about moves to the 'standardisation' of cigarette packets. Euphemism alert. They don't mean 'standardisation' so much as 'de-inking'

After filing this sketch I’ve a mind to go and buy a packet of Chernobyl-strength fags. I don’t smoke but an exception may be necessary in order to flick two nicotine-stained digits at our tut-tutting, pose-striking, lobby-nodding legislators.