I'm only speaking from the personal experience of myself and many of my girlfriends here, and I'm not blaming men for those few extra pounds. But we've all heard of "the freshmen fifteen," the weight gain experts say college students can expect when they leave Mom's healthy cooking behind and start living on greasy dorm food and pizza delivery. I call the weight gain many women experience when they settle into a new love the "relationship ten," and here's how I think it happens:
She's a single girl, and she's been that way for a while. Since she isn't part of a couple and doesn't live with her parents any more, she takes most of her meals alone. After a hard day at work, she can come home and slave over the stove to cook herself a full-course meal, eat it in front of her TV, and then spend the rest of her night cleaning up after herself. Or she can grab a handful of peanut butter crackers and a yogurt, or maybe a Lean Cuisine or a bowl of cereal, and call it a night.
Most single women aren't starving themselves to make heads turn in a bar. They're not starving themselves at all. They're just taking the easy way out when it comes to meals.
When she does go out to eat, it tends to be with her girlfriends. Chowing down on that burger and fries while her friend who has to make sure she can squeeze into that tiny number at next week's party is nibbling at a salad is sure to make her feel like a pig. So she orders the salad too.
Then along comes love. Suddenly, she's not just sharing dinner with her cat anymore. Evening meals and weekend brunches are something she enjoys with you. She's much more likely to prepare a full-course meal, partake of the meal you've prepared, or order takeout when there are two of you to feed. Just because she was fine with a cup of soup for dinner before doesn't mean she expects you to be. If one of you is making spaghetti and garlic bread anyway, chances are she's not going just have a bowl of cereal herself.
When the two of you dine out, the portions she ordered that looked huge next to what her dieting girlfriend was having don't seem so outrageous next to your meal, so she doesn't even realize she's eating much more than before. The pounds sneak up on her, and the next thing she knows those killer jeans are just a little too tight.
That's how relationship weight gain happens. It has nothing to do with snaring a man and then letting ourselves go. It's just that our habits change imperceptibly, without us even realizing it.
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