'You're giving me Sophie's choice': Former high-ranking Scientologist claims the church ripped her family apart 'by forcing her to choose between her son and daughter' 

  • Sara Goldberg, 63, and her husband were declared 'suppressive persons' by the church for refusing to sever ties with her son, Nick
  • Nick Lister was ousted from Scientology for having ties with known apostates and whistle-blowers
  • 'Disconnection' doctrine dictates that Scientologists must stop communicating with people who seek to harm the church
  • Mrs Goldberg's devout daughter 'disconnected' from her mother over her refusal to turn her back on her son 
  • Goldberg had been part of the church for 36 years and reached the top rank of Operating Thetan VIII

By Daily Mail Reporter

PUBLISHED: 20:48 EST, 15 March 2014 | UPDATED: 12:29 EST, 16 March 2014


Heartbreaking dilemma: Sara Goldberg, 63, says she was declared a 'suppressive person' by the Church of Scientology for not ending her relationship with her apostate son

Heartbreaking dilemma: Sara Goldberg, 63, says she was declared a 'suppressive person' by the Church of Scientology for not ending her relationship with her apostate son

Sara Goldberg, a one-time high-ranking member of the Church of Scientology, claims she was given an impossible 'Sophie's choice' by her superiors that ended up tearing her close-knit family apart.

According to Mrs Goldberg, 63, from Florida, church elders pressed her to sever ties with her son, Nick Lister, who was accused of being connected with Scientology apostates.

When the woman refused to willingly 'disconnect' from her renegade son, as church teachings dictate, she was put on trial at the Scientology compound in Clearwater.

According to Goldberg, who had been a devout Scientologist for more than three decades, she was presented with a choice: she could either turn her back on her son, or become a pariah and be estranged from her daughter.

'You're giving me Sophie's choice,' Goldberg reportedly said at her trial in July, as Tampa Bay Times reported in its detailed expose. 

The Church of Scientology defines the practice of 'disconnection' as the act of breaking ties with a person who is hostile to the teachings of L. Ron Habbard, and whose antagonism could impede the spiritual progress of those around him.

According to the organization's website, there are two ways of dealing with a 'suppressive person’ who wishes to harm the church: one either 'handles' the troublemaker by presenting him with factual data about Scientology, or 'disconnects' from the person by refusing to communicate with him.

The latter technique is described as a 'last resort' that is to be employed only when all other attempts to 'handle' the 'suppressive’ fail.

In his writings, Habbard compared 'disconnection' to the way the broader society deals with criminals.

‘In other words, they remove the guy from society and put him in a prison because he won’t handle his problem or otherwise cease to commit criminal acts against others,’ the Scientology founder explained.

Nick Lister
Nick Lister

Rebel with a cause: Sara Goldberg's son, Nick Lister, ran into trouble with the Church of Scientology when he started communicating with known apostates; as a result, he became a pariah

Sara's choice: Sara Goldberg was presented with a choice: she could either sever all ties with Nick (far left), or face the possibility of being shunned by her daughter and granddaughter (right)

Sara's choice: Sara Goldberg was presented with a choice: she could either sever all ties with Nick (far left), or face the possibility of being shunned by her daughter and granddaughter (right)

It is important to note that the Church of Scientology stresses that there is no policy on the books that requires congregants to disconnect from family members and friends who hold different beliefs.

'The Church encourages excellent family relationships, Scientologists or not, and family relations routinely improve with Scientology because the Scientologist learns how to increase communication and resolve any problems that may have previously existed,' the statement on Scientology.com reads.

But according to Mrs Goldberg, she was forced to cut ties with her own son, who was labeled a suppressive person - or 'SP' - for his ties to Scientology whistle-blowers - or face the possibility of being alienated from her daughter, Ashley.

In the end, Sara Goldberg, who had reached the highest rank in the church hierarchy, refused to turn her back on Nick and was ejected from the community that she had been a part of for 36 years.

Sara Goldberg first became interested in Scientology in her late 20s when she sought spiritual counselling – known as ‘auditing’ in Scientology parlance - following a painful break-up.

As time went on, Goldberg became increasingly drawn to the religion, quickly rising through the ranks of the organization, marrying a fellow Scientologist and raising her two children, Nick and Ashley, in the church. 

Following her divorce in the late 1990s, Sara married another Scientologist, Sheldon Goldberg. Together, the couple attained the highest level of spirituality known as Operating Thetan VIII.

Always faithful: Both Sara Goldberg and her second husband, Sheldon, refused to turn their back on Nick (far left), even as his sister, friends and even his biological father 'disconnected' from him as punishment for his subversive activities

Always faithful: Both Sara Goldberg and her second husband, Sheldon, refused to turn their back on Nick (far left), even as his sister, friends and even his biological father 'disconnected' from him as punishment for his subversive activities

Goldberg’s daughter, Ashley, was also an active member of the church who followed in her mother's footsteps by marrying a second-generation Scientologist. The couple have a young daughter.

Everything was going well for the family until Sara Goldberg's son, Nick Lister, began running into trouble and breaking church rules.

Growing increasingly skeptical of Scientology, the renegade teenager began spending time with known critics of the church, among them Marty Rathbun and Mike Rinder, who had been shunned for leaking damaging information about the inner workings of the religious organization to newspapers.

When news of Lister's affiliation with the circle of apostates became known to church officials, he was forced to stop communicating with them.

In response to the pressure from the community, the 22-year-old turned to alcohol and drugs. He entered a Scientology rehab center and returned home clean, but soon renewed his acquaintance with a church defector.

Fall from grace: Last year, the once-elite members of the Church of Scientology were declared 'suppressive persons' for their refusal to turn their back on Nick Lister

Fall from grace: Last year, the once-elite members of the Church of Scientology were declared 'suppressive persons' for their refusal to turn their back on Nick Lister

When the elders caught wind of Lister's behavior, he was punished by being labeled a ‘suppressive person.’

The consequences were disastrous: one by one, Lister's sister, brother-in-law, childhood friends and even his biological father turned away from him.

But his mother and her husband stood by his side. At first, church officials encouraged the Goldbergs to try and 'handle' their wayward offspring by bringing him back into the fold.

Nick Lister told Tampa Bay Times that he had made a good-faith effort to reconcile with the church by turning his back on the enemies of Scientology, revealing information about their activities and taking re-education courses in a bid to lift his 'suppressive person' classification.

Despite his efforts to make things right with the church, Lister felt that Scientology officials were stone-walling him. He finally stopped trying to get back into the good graces of the powerful organization.

Things came to a head in the summer of 2012, when an increasingly anxious Sheldon Goldberg asked his stepson to move out of their house.

Nick Lister responded by getting drunk and threatening to end his life.

The church continued ratcheting up the pressure on the Goldbergs to disconnect from the malcontent young man, but Sara said in no uncertain terms that she would not turn her back on her child when he was at his most vulnerable.

During her trial several weeks later, a tearful Mrs Goldberg declared to the judges: 'I'm not leaving my son.'

Over the next few months, Mrs Goldberg devoured news reports about allegations of wrongdoing against high-ranking church officials, doing so in violation of a strictly enforced policy that prohibits its members from looking up Scientology on the Internet.

Finally, in July 2013, Sheldon and Sara Goldberg received a letter from the church declaring the couple 'suppressive' for refusing to disconnect from Nick Lister.

Within hours, the woman's world came crashing down when her daughter, Ashley, confronted her and said that her entire family, including Sara Goldberg’s only granddaughter, must disconnect from her.

Mrs Goldberg, 63, told the paper that her final message from her daughter came in the form of an email asking her not to contact her again until she makes things rights with the church.
 

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Boo Hoo! When faced with being treated just like everyone else within the organization, she becomes the public victim.

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My dog had flatulence so I got one of those E-meters.

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Anyone or anything that tries to separate you and your family are BAD!! What kind of religion issues ultimatums?

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This is a perfect religion this is a perfect religion this is a perfect religion this is a perfect religion this is a perfect religion and my cat is L Ron Hubbard incarnated I call him Mr. Whiskers.

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Sophie's choice was to save one child and send the other child to her death. This woman may feel that she had to choose between her children, but she did not have to make Sophie's choice.

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Sophie's choice was to save one of her children and send the other to death. This woman may have felt she was forced to choose between her children, but it was not Sophie's choice.

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Danger sign: when people tell you that you must break off ties you want to keep. Religion, politics--it doesn't matter. If you are forbidden to keep ties, or others are forbidden to keep ties with you, whoever is doing the forbidding is on my personal ___ list.

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"Sophie's Choice"? Er, who died here? They're all wackos, even the ones who leave...

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Taking out the "religious" aspect and just dealing with the ultimatum part, I have always found it to be true that the person who is giving you the ultimatum is the person you should cut out of your life.

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son - easy choice.

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