Falklands soldier undergoes a sex change and switches name from Trevor to Treva but STAYS with his wife who remains the 'love of his life'

  • Treva - who used to be Trevor - was in the army for 23 years
  • Wife Victoria is standing by her and helps her choose clothes and make up
  • Couple are 'happier than ever' and have no plans to divorce

By Alison Smith-squire

As they shop for clothes, Victoria and Treva Askey look like two friends simply enjoying a day out shopping.

But Treva, 41, used to be a very macho man called Trevor.  A former soldier in the army’s Royal Engineers, he once served in war-torn Bosnia and the Falklands.

And before Trevor became a woman, he married Victoria in a white wedding.

Yet today, despite Trevor’s transition to the feminine Treva – she is already taking hormones and has grown B-cup breasts - the couple claim they are happier than ever together.

The happy couple: Despite the changes, Victoria and Treva Askey say they are happier than ever together

The happy couple: Despite the changes, Victoria and Treva Askey say they are happier than ever together

They have no plans to divorce. In fact, mother-of-three Victoria, 39, who refers to Treva as ‘she’, is helping her to live as a woman.

'With Treva, I have the best of both worlds,' said Victoria. 'She is still the love of my life, the same person inside, but now I also have a best friend who I can talk about make up and clothes with.

 

'Of course I was absolutely shocked when she first told me. But now we are both going through the journey of her sex change together. I am as thrilled as she is to see her developing breasts and a new figure.'

And Treva, who out of desperation to become a woman once took Victoria’s contraceptive pills, said: 'Telling Victoria I wanted to change sex was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It is such a relief that she is standing by me.'

White wedding: Trevor and Victoria on their wedding day. Victoria is now helping Treva to live as a woman

White wedding: Trevor and Victoria on their wedding day. Victoria is now helping Treva to live as a woman

Today Victoria and Treva even share a wardrobe.

'We both have a huge passion for shoes,' says Victoria. We often swap clothes – we have the same tastes. We both love casual clothes although Treva is more girly than me. She prefers to wear full make up every day and always has her nails perfectly manicured.'

And Treva has even undergone plastic surgery to make herself look even more feminine.

'Telling Victoria I wanted to change sex was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It is such a relief that she is standing by me'

- Treva Askey

The pair took out a £4,500 loan before Treva underwent plastic surgery to make her nose smaller.

Brow surgery at a cost of £3,500 to make Treva’s forehead less prominent is also planned.

Victoria was just 13 when she first met Trevor, 15, at school. Then, there were no signs that Trevor was anything but masculine.

'Trevor was known as a tough bloke who everyone looked up to and no-one would cross,' she says.

'I developed quite a crush on him and for a few weeks we had a typical teenage romance with a few stolen kisses.'

But within a few weeks Trevor had disappeared. In fact he’d gone to serve in the Royal Engineers, where over the next 23 years he became a Lance Corporal, fighting in Bosnia, Kenya and the Falklands.

During the next two decades the pair kept in touch – but as Trevor was in the army, they went their separate ways.

'During these years I married and had my first son, now aged 21,' recalls Victoria. 

Treva has undergone plastic surgery to make herself look more feminine
Victoria helps Treva with her make-up

Transition: Treva has undergone plastic surgery to make herself look more feminine. Victoria also helps with her make-up

'And when that marriage ended I met someone else and went on to have two more children now aged ten and six. Meanwhile, Trevor also had various girlfriends and when aged 24, also married.'

But the couple never forgot one another.

'Trevor would suddenly ring out of the blue and when he was back on leave, we’d sometimes meet up,' she says. 'Sometimes years went by when we didn’t see one another. But when we did the attraction was always incredibly strong – but nothing happened because each time one of us was with someone else.'

However, in September 2006 Victoria suddenly got an email from Trevor that rocked her world – confiding he wanted to become a woman.

Brave: Former soldier Trevor served in war-torn Bosnia (pictured) and the Falklands

Brave: Former soldier Trevor served in war-torn Bosnia (pictured) and the Falklands

Victoria emailed back to ask if he was joking. 'But when he sent me photos of painted nails, I knew it was for real.'

Treva said: 'Ever since I was a teenager I’d always felt something wasn’t right because I didn’t seem to fit with men or women but in those days there was no information about men who wanted to become women.  So I kept any feelings to myself – there was no way I could have confided them at the time to any army colleagues.

'We both have a huge passion for shoes. We often swap clothes - we have the same tastes' 

- Victoria Askey

'I’d always had a secret stash of women’s clothes. My wife had no idea but when she went out I’d sometimes dress up in them and just sit around the house.

'In hindsight it was the only time I felt truly comfortable.

After that shocking revelation the emails between Victoria and Trevor dwindled and for three years they lost contact.

Treva admits she worried the revelation had ruined her relationship with Victoria forever.

But by May 2010 Trevor’s 15-year marriage had ended and when he emailed Victoria out of the blue Victoria’s relationship with her youngest children’s father was also on the rocks.

Treva said: 'I’d never been able to get Victoria out of my mind and she’d always been the one person I could confide in.'

Victoria recalls despite his revelation a few years earlier, she was thrilled to be back in touch with Trevor. 'Talking with him I realised it didn’t matter he still wanted to be a woman. He was my first love, a soulmate. I’d never forgotten him.'

Service: Trevor served in the Royal Engineers over 23 years, during which time he became a Lance Corporal

Service: Trevor served in the Royal Engineers over 23 years, during which time he became a Lance Corporal

Shortly after Victoria’s partner moved out and she started dating Trevor. On New Year's Eve, 2011, Victoria made him up for the first time as a woman.

'It was a very intimate moment and I proposed,' she said. 'Years ago Trevor had asked me to marry him but I turned him down because I’d only just come out of my first marriage. Now the time was right. I was delighted when he accepted.'

Within six months she moved with the children to live near Trevor, who was still living as a man at his army base in Water Beach, Cambridgeshire.

The pair were married in a small registry office in September 2011.

'On our wedding day Trevor was still as a man – and we made love as man and wife. No-one knew our secret but I already knew that I’d support him through his transition.'

Shortly after Trevor retired from the army and for the first time began dressing as a woman full time.

She said: 'I could immediately see how much happier Trevor was as a woman. As a man he was a typical quiet reserved British man but as Treva she was much more outgoing, chatty and relaxed.'

The first step for Treva’s transformation was to get rid of her body hair. 'That took a whole day,' admits Victoria.

'And she began taking my contraceptive pills, which I’d researched on the internet could help male to female transsexuals. The female hormones helped her start to grow breasts, softened her skin and thickened her hair.'

'Talking with him I realised it didn’t matter he still wanted to be a woman. He was my first love, a soulmate. I’d never forgotten him'

- Victoria Askey

Then the pair went shopping with Victoria helping Treva choose clothes to flatter her slim 5ft 7in figure, and helping her apply make up.

Meanwhile, the couple visited the children’s school to tell teachers about Treva. 'We were honest with the children – we simply told them that Trevor felt he was a woman trapped in a man’s body and was going to now live as a woman.

'The school have been completely supportive and the children, who still regularly see their dad who has remarried, have accepted Treva,' she says.

Despite this, Victoria admits she and Treva do sometimes get some odd looks and stares when they go out together.

'We decided it was because some of Treva’s facial features were still quite masculine.

'She had a large nose for a woman and we both decided her nose would look more feminine if she had cosmetic surgery to make it smaller.'

Happy together: Treva admits she worried the revelation had ruined her relationship with Victoria forever

Happy together: Treva admits she worried the revelation had ruined her relationship with Victoria forever

Today, instead of the pill, Treva now takes women’s hormones, which Victoria has sourced online.

As well as breasts she has a more womanly shape with hips and a smaller waist,' she says.

Treva now hopes to undergo surgery to create bigger breasts and to be accepted onto the NHS waiting list for gender reassignment surgery.

The couple admit many friends and family were initially shocked. 'Trevor was the last man anyone would ever imagine would want to become a woman,' says Victoria, 'but now people have got to know Treva, they are more understanding and in fact some of our friends are old army colleagues.

'They still call Treva her old army nickname – Arthur Askey – but no-one bats an eyelid now.'

The pair plan to stay married. Victoria, who has written a book about their journey to help others, reveals: 'To me she is the same wonderful person. In fact we are happier than ever together. Trevor becoming Treva has only brought us closer.'

  • Too Deep by Victoria Askey is available on Kindle from Amazon.