EXCLUSIVE: 'I may never get to kiss a boy': Parents of cancer victim, 16, who inspired hit film The Fault in Our Stars reveal she dreamed of a boyfriend just like movie's Gus
- Esther Earl tragically died of thyroid cancer in 2010. She was a huge fan of author John Green's books
- The author met Esther at a Harry Potter convention and they became fast friends. She was his inspiration for the character played by Shailene Woodley in The Fault in Our Stars
- Esther's parents Wayne and Lori tell MailOnline they feared that watching the movie would be more than they could bare, but they found it 'comforting'
- They reveal how her illness devastated them, but how Esther remained brave and selfless til the end
- Esther was ready for romance. 'She wasn’t looking for a knight in shining armour,' says Lori, 'she was more looking for someone with purpose,' like Gus - the fictional boyfriend in the book and film
The Fault In Our Stars hit movie theatres last Saturday and instantly became a smash hit that that beat Tom Cruise's latest action flick to the top of the box office charts.
The emotionally charged tear-jerker is the tale of the tumultuous relationship between two teenage lovers starring Shailene Woodley and Ansel Elgort as both battle terminal cancer.
The film is based on John Green’s best-selling novel of the same name, which sold around three million copies worldwide and developed a huge cult following.
While the book is a work of fiction, Green has revealed the inspiration behind his main character Hazel Grace – played by Shailene Woodley - came from his close relationship with teenage, thyroid cancer sufferer, Esther Earl.
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Bubbly: Esther Earl was a vibrant teenager despite the cancer diagnosis. At their home in Quincy, Massachusetts Lori and Wayne Earl shared fond memories with MailOnline of their daughter Esther Earl who died at age 16 of thyroid cancer in August 2010. Earl became an internet sensation before her death as she chronicled her illness
Lookalike: Shailene Woodley plays Hazel Grace in the film version of The Fault in Our Stars. Ansel Elgort portrays Gus. Esther confided that she wished she had a boyfriend in her life
Esther was obsessed with Green’s earlier books – starting fan a group dedicated to his work. They met at a Harry Potter convention in Boston in 2009 and became great friends and close confidantes after Green fell in love with Esther’s incredible courage and spirit.
Tragically after bravely battling for four years, Esther, from Quincy, Massachusetts, succumbed to her illness and died in 2010, just three weeks after her 16th birthday, leaving Green heartbroken.
But his friendship with the inspiring schoolgirl gave him the boost he needed to write a book he had been agonizing over for years. After her death, he completed The Fault In Our Stars – with centers on the love between Hazel Grace and Gus - in just three months.
He has made a point of staying in regular contact with Esther’s loving parents Wayne and Lori and they were at the star-studded premier of The Fault In Our Stars in New York last Monday.
They were incredibly nervous about watching a film so deeply linked with their beloved daughter and there were a few very emotional moments as the movie mirrored their experiences so closely.
One scene in particular really got to Wayne Earl, 54 - who has four other children with Lori. ‘In the film, there is a moment when they think they are going to lose Hazel Grace and we went through an almost identical incident’, he told MailOnline.
When they think they are going to lose Hazel Grace we went through an almost identical incident.
-Wayne Earl
‘We turned the dining room into a bedroom for her and she was at home one day when she started coughing up blood. As far as I knew that meant the tumor had impacted on her lungs, which could be irreversible and ultimately fatal.
‘We rushed
her to the hospital and she was in a really bad way. She was so ill the
doctor told us to get the whole family together, because they thought
she might not make it.
‘I
was alone with Esther for a few minutes and I was convinced I was going
to lose her. What do you say to someone who you love so much, who is
dying? It was indescribable.
‘But
even then, it was her who was comforting me. She was telling me, "Daddy, I don’t want you to be so sad that you can’t go on, promise me".
I said, "I can’t promise you that, but your courage has taught me I
have to be brave".
‘In the movie Hazel says exactly same thing to her mom, the scene is so similar and it is mesmerising. The only difference Is Hazel is with her mother and Esther was with me.
He went on: ‘I know Esther told John about that incident, because I was there. I heard him say, "Esther, I might use this in the book," and she said, "Use whatever you want."'
Inspiration: A Fault in Our Stars author John Green became fast friends with Esther at a Harry Potter convention. He was heartbroken when she passed away
Icing on the cake: Esther was obsessed with John Green's earlier books and started a group dedicated to his work
Brave: 'Esther and Hazel Grace are so similar in their personalities," says Esther's dad
Lori added: ‘In the film Shailene puts a real emphasis on love and a deep connection. That is incredibly similar to Esther.
‘Another major similarity is she was not as concerned about herself and her own health as she was about how her illness affected others. She was so worried about how we would cope with her death.'
The majority of the film revolves around Hazel Grace’s romance with the charismatic Gus, who meets at a Cancer support group.
The relationship is fictional. Esther did not have a boyfriend, but Lori explains she would have loved to have met someone like Gus.
‘In Esther’s journal she says, "Oh, I may never get to kiss a boy". She was ready for romance. She wasn’t looking for a knight in shining armour; she was more looking for someone with purpose, who was striving for something. Gus was ambitious and Esther would have liked that.
‘I was very nervous watching the film. And I was even more nervous for our other two daughters. It took them a long time to read The Fault In Our Stars, so I thought the film might be upsetting for them.’
Wayne and Lori, 50, have immersed themselves In Esther’s memory since her death. She kept a number of journals and posted scores of videos on YouTube, documenting her life and her thoughts.
In fact,
even before her death and depiction in Green’s book, she had a
significant online following and impacted many lives for the better with
her unbelievably positive attitude in the face of incredible adversity.
'She was ready for romance. She was looking for someone with purpose'
-Lori Earl
Before
she passed Wayne and Esther made a pact that if one of them died the
other one would write their life story.
And Wayne has fulfilled his
obligation, compiling a book of all Esther’s journals, thoughts and
letters called ‘This Star Won’t Go Out’. It is published by the same
company as The Fault In Our Stars.
But
despite having constant reminders of their daughter in every aspect of
their lives, they still felt watching the film might prove too much for
them to bear.
Wayne
said: ‘I have been asked the question, if I could spend a day with any
person living or dead, who would it be. Most people would say, Abraham
Lincoln, or Churchill, or Jesus.
‘Obviously,
my natural inclination would be to say Esther, but in reality I
wouldn’t want that because that would mean I would have to say goodbye
to her at the end of the day and I couldn’t bear losing her again.
‘Sometimes, watching her blogs and reading her journals feels a bit like that. You see her again, but you don’t actually have her back. I feared watching this film might be a bit like that, seeing her, but not actually having her. But I watched it and it was actually comforting. It is a great movie’
Family ties: A family photo of Esther Earl (front and center) with her siblings Abigail, Graham, Abraham and Evangeline
Devoted: Esther's parents Wayne and Lori have fulfilled a promise to his daughter by compiling a book of all Esther's journals, thoughts and letters called This Star Won¿t Go Out, published by Dutton
Having already been to the premier, which happened to fall on their 30th wedding anniversary, Wayne and Lori took their two sons to see the film on its opening weekend.
Again, that brought a certain level of anxiety, partly because Wayne was worried his youngest boy may start to confuse the memory of his sister with Shailene’s onscreen character.
Wayne said: ‘Abraham was only six when Esther died. They were very close and she would always make a lot of time to play with him. But I realized that he would undoubtedly start to associate Esther with the character Hazel Grace.
‘We are trying to remind him of those experiences he had that were just he and Esther. I was concerned about him confusing the two before the movie came out, but then after seeing it I thought, "that’s a good thing", because Esther and Hazel Grace are so similar in their personalities.’
Esther
was diagnosed on Thanksgiving Day at the age of 12 when the family were
living in Marseilles France. It was an absolute hammer blow to the
Earls, but worse was to come, as on a trip back to Massachusetts, they
sought a second opinion and were told the disease was far more advanced
than first thought. They didn’t go back to France and settled in Quincy.
From
that moment on, their lives revolved around Esther and her care. But
far from wallow in self-pity Esther, who was almost bed-ridden for a
significant part of her final years, used the internet to communicate
and build up a huge online friend group.
She
started a fan site, which focussed primarily on Harry Potter and John
Green books. And it was at a Harry Potter convention in Boston that she
first met her idol Green.
Green
describes their first encounter, saying: "My brother sings songs about
Harry Potter…. he attends a lot of these conferences, and I went to one
in Boston.
‘So
I went to this concert at the conference; there's a lot of dancing
going on. I don't dance, and neither did she, so we ended up talking in
the back of the room and became friends.’
Lori explained: ‘He’d spent ten years trying to write this book based on child cancer patients. When he met her, she was an example of that and he wanted to get to know her for that reason, but then they connected on a far deeper level.’
A-OK: In the eulogy at Esther¿s funeral, her sister Abigail references a conversation she had with Esther, who told herwhen Esther was telling her, 'You are going to be OK'. OK became their word and that becomes the special word between Hazel Grace and Gus in the book and the movie, explains dad Wayne.
Some parents would have reservations about their young daughter developing such a close bond with a man in his late 30’s. But that was never a concern for the Earls, who saw the relationship for what it was, innocent and pure.
Wayne
said: ‘I first met John at a Make-A-Wish event; I could tell how much
he cared about her, it was clear to see. I said to him John, "you chose
our daughter to take on this journey with you and you love her".
‘Maybe
it’s like what a father goes through when his daughter getting married,
we both just loved Esther so much it was easy for us to understand each
other.
‘People
need to appreciate it was totally appropriate; they just had an
incredible connection. She just got into his heart, that’s what she was
like, she was so infectious.’
'That night, and I’ve never spoken about this before, I don’t know whether I was asleep or awake, but I looked up and I saw Esther walking over this bridge. It was an incredible experience and I suppose I knew she was at peace'
Lori
added: ‘She represented the personification of his fan base. She ran a
group online and he would come into their chat sessions and ask for
feedback on his work.
‘This
was the first time he opened himself up to his fans. Esther was one of
the most important people in John’s fan group. She was at the center.’
Wayne
finished: ‘I think he was just struck by her sense of humor, her
directness and her spirit. He was trying to write this book and she was a
catalyst.’
Other
than her unbelievably resilient spirit and sharp sense of humor the
other reason John loved Esther was the fact that, despite being a huge
fan, she was not intimidated by him in any way.
Lori said: ‘She was incredibly confident as a child and she carried that into her adolescent years.
‘She would
always tease John, she wasn’t in awe of him. Once he tweeted about how
upset he was that he lost his camera and she tweeted him back, ‘that’s a
real first world problem.’
John has always fully recognized that his work was inspired by Esther, even giving her a significant tribute in the acknowledgement section of the book. But he has been keen to stress that it is ultimately a novel and a work of fiction.
Healthy baby: Esther was diagnosed with thyroid cancer when she was 12 and the family were living in Marseilles France. It was an absolute hammer blow to the Earls. But worse was to come, when on a trip back to Massachusetts, they were told the disease was far more advanced than first thought. They didn't go back to France and settled in Quincy
The
Earl’s are happy to concur with Green’s standpoint. But they explain
his stance is partly because he didn’t want to take away from the book
he knew Wayne was going to write about Esther’s life.
Wayne
said: ‘John has said that the book is a work of fiction, but he was
inspired by Esther and her life force informed and influenced his
writing.
‘Aside
from that incident in the hospital when Esther nearly died, there are
just so many parallels. Anne Frank features heavily in the movie and she
was someone who was very important to Esther.
‘In
the eulogy at Esther’s funeral, her sister Abigail references a
conversation she had with Esther, when Esther was telling her, ‘you are
going to be OK’.
‘OK became their word and that becomes the special word between Hazel Grace and Gus in the book and the movie.
‘There is a
very funny scene in the film when Gus is asking Hazel Grace what she
did with her one wish from a charity for terminally ill children. Gus is
incredulous that she used it to go to Disney Land, because it is so
clichéd.
‘Esther was offered Disney Land, but turned it down for that very reason. In fact she didn’t want anything initially.
‘Ultimately
she decided she wanted to go on the road in an RV to see the friends
she had made online, but she was too ill, so she couldn’t.’
That is also incredibly similar to the movie, because at first Hazel is too unwell to fulfil her dream of going to Amsterdam with Gus.
Lori
added: ‘Hazel is more cynical, Esther didn’t really have that, although,
she didn’t want to go to cancer support group, just like Hazel Grace.
‘She
used to say, "why would I want to talk to a load of people with
cancer?" In one of her letter’s she wrote a reminder to herself and
said, "remember, not everyone with cancer is boring".
Lori
went on: ‘With regards to the film, Fox don’t mention her, because it
has moved away from that somewhat, but John speaks about Esther whenever
he gets the opportunity.
‘In
almost all of his articles he says the book was inspired by Esther and
he couldn’t have written it without her. He found the voice for the
novel in her.
‘He
has often said, one of the hardest things he has to deal with is
knowing the person he most wants to read the book, won’t be able to.’
The fact Esther has had such a huge impact on the literary and cinema world is a huge source of pride to Wayne and Lori.
‘There are at least two TV series coming out about pediatric cancer.’ Wayne said.
I'm your puppet: Esther and Jughead hang out
Thumbs up: Esther wasn't worried about herself. But she was concerned about her parents and her family
‘They
are coming out because of John’s book. That was at least in part
influenced by Esther. So the whole industry has changed. What a ripple
effect. I know that sounds immodest, but I am so proud of my daughter.
‘She
wanted to have an impact. Some of the hardest moments of my life, were
hearing her say, "Daddy, I am doing nothing with my life, I am just
sitting here on the computer", But as it turns out, she couldn’t have
been more wrong.
‘I
am so proud. It is amazing to have someone, in John, who loved her in
the same way we do. It is very humbling. This is bigger than anything we
could have imagined.’
''I am so proud of my daughter. She wanted to have an impact... It is very humbling. This is bigger than anything we could have imagined'
Esther’s
death devastated the Earls. She was, and still is, an incredibly
important part of the family. She was also supremely important to a huge
number of people all over the web.
Talking
about the night she passed, Wayne said: ‘The whole internet was buzzing
with people talking about Esther. Just as Esther was about to fall
unconscious for the last time, I asked what she wanted me to tell them, I
said, "Shall I tell them you love them?"
‘She
said no and I just couldn’t understand. But later I got it, she felt
she had to go alone and they all knew she loved them already. She had
done everything she wanted to do.
‘After she’d passed, I stood at the end of the bed and I had my family there and I said, "now she belongs to the heavens".
‘That
night, and I’ve never spoken about this before, I don’t know whether I
was asleep or awake, but I looked up and I saw Esther walking over this
bridge.
‘It was an incredible experience and I suppose I knew she was at peace. I took comfort from that because I think I knew she was going to be OK.’
Reality bites: In the film, Hazel can't believe a guy like Gus would ever be interested in her, but he proves his affection and gives her a reason to live. Their relationship is completely fictional, as Esther did not have a boyfriend. Lori explains Esther would have loved to have met someone like Gus
Final night: Lori told MailOnline about the night Esther passed away: I've never spoken about this before, I don't know whether I was asleep or awake, but I looked up and I saw Esther walking over this bridge. It was an incredible experience and I suppose I knew she was at peace. I took comfort from that because I think I knew she was going to be OK'
Lori added: ‘I still cry. I read a book recently and just started sobbing, I wasn’t expecting it. For a long time I cried every time I went into CVS because Esther loved makeup and I would always buy her something whenever I went in.’
Wayne finished: ‘They say there’s a real transition from remembering and being sad and remembering and being happy. We will always be sad, but now the happiness dominates.’
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Comments (71)
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The comments below have not been moderated.
John Green and Esther had that special "connection" in her short lifetime that some people never get in a lifetime. It's that special connection, unlike any other relationship known to man that inspired him to write the book.
One of my favourite books but so heartbreaking, looking forward to the film. John Green is so talented.
well I hope the movie studio gives all the profits from the movie to the girls disease. but somehow I think they will keep it and make billions off her misery
Being the big softy that I am, and knowing how I would feel if that had been my daughter, I wouldn't dare watch the film...I'd end up blubbering like a five year old denied an ice cream. Such a brave girl and such an inspiration. Your star will never go out.
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angeli, LONDON, 25 minutes ago
Heartbreaking story my thoughts are with family.