Archive for August, 2008

we got fun.

August 31, 2008 - 1:05 am 1 Comment

To celebrate the end of summer, I had my little boys come over for a Summer’s Over Sleepover. I picked Joe and Tyler up from my grandmother’s house in Gig Harbor after I got off of work yesterday. We stopped off at McDonald’s on the way home for dinner, which they enjoyed. At the house they watched lots of movies, and we played Indiana Jones Game of Life.

This morning we went out to Pt. Defiance to go to the zoo. They were pretty excited! I had a lot of fun just watching them run around and explore.

The last picture was especially cool. During the wildlife show Joe got called onstage to volunteer. They dressed him up as a hawk, and then had a real hawk land on his head. No joke. It was pretty cute. I have it on video, but I haven’t put it on the computer yet.

We dropped Tyler off at his dad’s, and came home for a dinner of pizza. My Netflix came today, so we are watching Something Wicked This Way Comes, a kids movie that Mike recommended for Joe when we were still dating, or whatever that was. I’d forgotten it was even on my list! Good timing that it showed up today, while Joe was here.

I’m very tired. When my mom picks Joe up this evening after work, I think I am off to bed. I have to be at work for several hours in the morning tomorrow. I hope you all are having a fun holiday weekend as well!

this is your life. are you who you wanna be?

August 30, 2008 - 3:54 am No Comments

I now have Netflix and a Costco membership. My consumer-driven life is complete. I eagerly await the arrival of my first Netflix movies (The Constant Gardner, Black Snake Moan, and Something Wicked This Way Comes) tomorrow, and have been watching movies NOW on my computer. It’s pathetic. And tomorrow? Costco card. Yay….

Having a job makes living easier.

Having a job also makes me tired, and not interested in people who pick fights or look for conflict.

I have Joe and his friend Tyler here spending the night. It’s work! Tomorrow we are going to the zoo, maybe. We shall see.

I’m lonely, and I want someone to pay attention to me. Even though I know that someone already pays me more attention than I deserve.

I paid my first month of rent.

August 28, 2008 - 7:14 am 1 Comment

This evening I was able to write Angela my first rent check. Money is still pretty tight, but I’m working on digging myself out of the financial mess that not having a job for almost 6 months will do to a person! I found myself in overdraft this pay period because I got out of the habit of balancing a check book, but my goal is to be smarter about the way I use it, should overdraft be something that I need to resort to.

So I finally got sucked into joining the Twilight bandwagon, and I don’t care how lame it is. I’m really excited for the movie. Call me a loser; I don’t mind.

I think I need to go to bed. I’ve been sleeping in lately, a habit I need to break.

K that’s all. Adios, chickies.

new shoes for work!

August 27, 2008 - 4:14 am 2 Comments

August 27, 2008 - 2:02 am No Comments

Sometimes I’m not really sure who I am anymore. Or which me is the right me. Sometimes I get confused with which parts of my personality are genuine, which parts are a front to protect me from being hurt by others and keep me from showing my vulnerability, and which parts are just fucked up bipolar.

I often find myself feeling empty lately, and I find myself looking back at other times in my life, pre-bipolar, when I was a different me, and wondering if I felt this empty back then. And I say I am happier with who I am now, and I really think that I am, because I’m being true to myself, but sometimes true to myself is kind of a bitch.

But then, I was a bitch then, too. Just ask Donovan, poor boy. Or my parents. So who really knows? I sure don’t. It’s all too complicated to think about.

my own worst enemy.

August 26, 2008 - 3:18 am No Comments

i’m going crazy.

i think i’m gonna hide out for awhile, before i have no friends left.

being sick makes me moody. or something.

something like sad. and lonely.

or, you know. something.


August 26, 2008 - 1:17 am No Comments

My mom bought me new shoes for work. I get to keep one pair. Which ones do we like the best?

Do you know what I don't like?

August 26, 2008 - 1:13 am No Comments


So last Friday afternoon (evening?) I’m hanging out around the house, and I start coughing quite a bit. And then I cough up blood. I send Weezer a text message saying something to the effect of coughing up blood is probably not an indicator of good health, and he agrees. And then I ignore it.

And then I eat something.

And then I throw up blood.

So I go to the Dr, where they do chest xrays and blood work, and tell me I have “walking” pneumonia. That sucked.

And then the next day I went camping, which probably wasn’t smart, but I’m still alive, and no worse for the wear. Well, except for the millions of mosquito bites I have. Apparently they love my vegan deodorant and organic soap! No bueno.

All I want to do is sleep….

well, it's better.

August 23, 2008 - 6:00 am No Comments

A not so beautiful mess….

August 23, 2008 - 4:34 am No Comments

I don’t feel well. Who takes pity on me and wants to help?