Baby, I'm bad news…

It’s 2:30am, and I am unable to fall asleep. I don’t know what to do. I took a Xanax about a half an hour ago, and it’s done absolutely nothing. I have 8am class, so I don’t want to take anything else, but I’ve given up on sleep.

I turn off all the lights, and I lie in bed. I try to keep still so as to fall asleep, but my mind is racing, and my feet start dancing at the foot of the bed. I feel kinetic, full of a frantic energy, and I feel as if I might explode from it all.

I think I may be slightly hypomanic. I find this to be more than mildly distressing, as I have absolutely no health insurance and can’t afford a visit to my psychiatrist.

is what I’m becoming. Not really. I just haven’t felt very articulate lately. I haven’t been doing much, and then when I start doing stuff I feel to overwhelmed to blog about it all. It doesn’t help that so many of my blog ladies are joining facebook, because it’s much easier to share pictures on facebook than it is on here!

So Angela and I have been tossing around names for our cupcake shop. Right now our favorite is “Cupcakes for World Domination”. We are such a warped pair.

I feel fat still, but healthier than I ever have now that I’m on a borderline vegan diet. I’m vegetarian at home, but more and more I am eating out at either Dana or Angela’s house, where the food is vegan, and I prefer it. The only thing I will miss is milk. And butter. But I can live without butter.

I’m feeling very holistic lately. I’m focusing on getting outdoors, being a responsible consumer, eating healthy, and recycling. I’ve lost a lot of drive to work out, because I’ve run out of money and am not sure how I am going to pay for my YMCA membership next month. Also I lost my card.

I know, I’m making excuses.

I also can’t afford my Netflix.

I’ve applied for two jobs, and have two more that I am applying for either tomorrow or Friday. Wish me luck!

I’m going to go into Community Healthcare to get my levels tested. I don’t know what that process is. But since I’m out of work, they should cover it. I’m also going to apply for unemployment, now that I am looking for work. So strange. But this will make me a stronger social worker, I am sure.

Finally: I want this cookbook:

If anyone can find it for cheaper than the listed $35 price, let me know!

I have not been this disappointed in quite awhile. I spoke with my friend Tuck last night, and we made plans for him to come visit, because I had the whole day open and wanted to go do something outdoors with a friend. I emailed him the directions, we firmed up a time (noon), and I told him I was planning a really fun day for the two of us.

It’s 1:39. He isn’t here. I haven’t heard from him, but he was on Facebook at 12:30ish. He hasn’t answered my calls. I am so beyond upset. What kind of friend just doesn’t show up? I don’t understand that.

Okay, I still love social work. I still want to be a social worker. I am love with the idea of helping to create change. But I also have another dream.

My friend Angela and I are thinking of getting a house together in California in a year or so. At first we were thinking San Francisco, now we are thinking Berkeley. When we go, I want us to start a gourmet vegan cupcake shop. This is my dream. I am very serious about making it a reality.

That is all.

You guys, I am the worst blogger ever! I’ve been on hiatus, because I feel like life is kind of swirling around me, and I’m having a hard time keeping up, let alone writing about it.

I’m still unemployed, still waiting to hear back from my union, still not making any money at all. Well, I’m doing some pet sitting, so I’m making some money. I miss a steady income, though.

I’m in my last quarter at the University of Washington. I can not wait to be done, but I’m simulatneously terrified to graduate. I don’t want to be an adult yet! I’m working on resumes, trying to find a job, because I don’t know if they can afford a new staff person at the internship.

Here at the internship we are finally getting the new floors that the agency has desperately needed, so we are closing up for a week.

I’m very tired. I don’t like not knowing what the future holds, and I’m not sure where I am going to be after I graduate in June. Scary stuff, this being a grown up….

4/16/2008 10:27:55 PM Chris Katie geeze banana, shut your gob
4/16/2008 10:28:03 PM Katie Chris lol.
4/16/2008 10:28:06 PM Katie Chris love it.
4/16/2008 10:28:10 PM Katie Chris i’m talking to australia.
4/16/2008 10:28:17 PM Chris Katie ooo
4/16/2008 10:32:46 PM Katie Chris You better pay for that pee-stick when you’re done with it. Don’t think it’s your’s just because you marked it with your urine!
4/16/2008 10:37:12 PM Chris Katie Excuse me? I am a sacred vessel, alright? All you’ve got in your stomach is Taco Bell
4/16/2008 10:37:48 PM Katie Chris Like I’d marry you, you’d be the meanest wife ever ok? And I know that you weren’t bored that day. Because there was a lot of stuff on tv and The Blair Witch Project was coming on Stars and you were like, “I haven’t seen this since it came out and so we should watch it,” but oh no we should just make out instead la la la…
4/16/2008 10:38:10 PM Chris Katie Well, you know, I was thinking I’d just nip it in the bud, before it gets worse, because they were talking about it in health class, how pregnancy, it can often lead to… an infant
4/16/2008 10:38:24 PM Katie Chris What’s the prognosis Fertile Mertle?
4/16/2008 10:38:41 PM Chris Katie Yeah, I’m a legend. You know, they call me the cautionary whale
4/16/2008 10:39:16 PM Katie Chris My boyfriend wears them every time we have intercourse. They make his junk smell like pie.
4/16/2008 10:39:31 PM Chris Katie desperately seeking spawn
4/16/2008 10:39:47 PM Katie Chris Doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people suffer!
4/16/2008 10:40:26 PM Chris Katie i was hoping she was exspelled or into hard drugs
4/16/2008 10:40:34 PM Katie Chris I’m calling to procure a hasty abortion?
4/16/2008 10:40:52 PM Chris Katie Thundercats are go
4/16/2008 10:40:57 PM Katie Chris Bren… you’s a dick… i love it!
4/16/2008 10:41:32 PM Chris Katie my mom uses color safe bleach
4/16/2008 10:41:39 PM Katie Chris You shoulda gone to China. You know, ’cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events.
4/16/2008 10:42:04 PM Chris Katie Arg! I am a Krakken from the sea!!
4/16/2008 10:42:08 PM Katie Chris This is not a food baby all right? I’ve taken like three pregnancy tests, and I’m forshizz up the spout.
4/16/2008 10:42:59 PM Chris Katie thanks a heap Coyote Ugly, this cactus-gram stinks worse than your abandonment
4/16/2008 10:43:09 PM Katie Chris Next time I see that Bleeker kid I’m going to punch him in the wiener.
4/16/2008 10:43:42 PM Chris Katie i’m not crying i’m just allergic to fune home furnishings
4/16/2008 10:43:53 PM Katie Chris Katrina’s not my girlfriend alright? And I doubt she gave you the stinkeye that’s just how her face looks, you know? That’s just her face.
4/16/2008 10:43:59 PM Chris Katie it
4/16/2008 10:44:09 PM Chris Katie it’s like lipton landing
4/16/2008 10:44:17 PM Katie Chris Are you having boy trouble because I gotta be honest I don’t really much approve of you dating in your condition. That’s, uh, that’s kinda messed up.
4/16/2008 10:44:37 PM Chris Katie Hey there big puffey version of junebug
4/16/2008 10:44:41 PM Katie Chris I mean that’s pretty skanky. Isn’t that what you girls call it? Skanky? Skeevy?
4/16/2008 10:44:54 PM Chris Katie Silencio old man!
4/16/2008 10:44:59 PM Katie Chris Tore up from the floor up?
4/16/2008 10:45:39 PM Chris Katie Yeah I came as soon as I got that ultrasound goo off my pelvis. It was crazy actually, my step-mom verbally abused the ultrasound tech and we got escorted off the premises
4/16/2008 10:45:45 PM Katie Chris I’m already pregnant so what other kind of shenanigans can I get into?
4/16/2008 10:46:03 PM Chris Katie Technically, that would be kicking it Old Testament
4/16/2008 10:46:07 PM Katie Chris You’re like… the coolest person I’ve ever met and you don’t even have to try.
4/16/2008 10:46:27 PM Chris Katie …And the receptionist tried to give me these weird condoms that looked like grape suckers, and she told me about her boyfriend’s pie balls and Su-Chin was there and she told me the baby had fingernails. Fingernails
4/16/2008 10:47:36 PM Katie Chris Thanks for having me and my irresponsible daughter over to your house.
4/16/2008 10:47:46 PM Chris Katie I could so go for like a huge cookie right now, with like, a lamb kabob simultaneously
4/16/2008 10:48:20 PM Katie Chris Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what-have-you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass.
4/16/2008 10:48:51 PM Chris Katie Yea, if I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would. But I’m guessing it looks probably like a sea monkey right now and we should let it get a little cuter
4/16/2008 10:49:19 PM Katie Chris As far as boyfriends go, Paulie Bleeker is totally boss. He is the cheese to my macaroni.
4/16/2008 10:50:29 PM Chris Katie I could like, have this baby and give it to someone who like totally needs it
4/16/2008 10:51:08 PM Katie Chris That was one time, Dad! And she didn’t die!
4/16/2008 10:53:55 PM Katie Chris do you admit defeat?
4/16/2008 10:54:13 PM Chris Katie When you move out I am getting two weimaraners
4/16/2008 10:55:33 PM Katie Chris Woah dream big!
4/16/2008 10:55:38 PM Chris Katie shes not the brighest bulb in the tanning bed
4/16/2008 10:56:01 PM Katie Chris The- the baby? I don’t really know much about it other than, I mean, it has fingernails allegedly.
4/16/2008 10:56:20 PM Chris Katie honest to blog?
4/16/2008 10:56:29 PM Katie Chris It hasn’t seasoned yet.
4/16/2008 10:57:26 PM Chris Katie hold ur horses
4/16/2008 10:58:13 PM Chris Katie i’m done
4/16/2008 10:58:21 PM Chris Katie can’t find more
4/16/2008 10:58:25 PM Katie Chris That little pink plus sign is so unholy.
4/16/2008 10:58:29 PM Katie Chris I win!!!
4/16/2008 10:58:33 PM Chris Katie whore
4/16/2008 10:58:33 PM Katie Chris Holla!
4/16/2008 10:58:47 PM Katie Chris You should know that I’m going to blog this.
4/16/2008 10:58:49 PM Katie Chris That’s all.

Here are the promised new videos of the pups walking. Or not walking, as some of them turned out!

Here is Jude, who went from being to fat to support himself, to such a little adventurer!

Prudence was a little more reluctant:

And all Lucy wanted to do was whine.

So I have been a busy camper, I’ll tell you what! Classes/internship are hard, and I’m finding that I’m not as young as I used to be. I am tired all the time. These all-nighters do not work for me.

I went to Portland this weekend to see Sweeney Todd with my family. Joe stayed here with my grandma, but my mom, Chris and I drove down. We had a really nice time. We went shopping at the mall in Portland, which was AWESOME. I went into the Coach store, and Louis Vuitton. Drool. The hippie part of me died temporarily while we were there. All I wanted was $800 to buy this gorgeous leather purse at Coach. It was big and teal and yummy.

I bought a dress at the GAP that I absolutely love, and I am officially broke again.

After shopping we ate at this nice Italian restaurant. We ate out on the sidewalk because it was so warm. It felt very European!

This evening I saw Seattle, and I had a wonderful time. This evening I also got into a fight with a friend over my decision to continue seeing Seattle, and I am so over this guy shoving his opinion down my throat. I like Seattle. I like his kid. I am more happy seeing him than I would be if I weren’t, and when that changes, I will talk to Seattle about it. I am so sick of this friend of mine shoving his opinion down my throat, and consistently telling me my decisions regarding my relationships are wrong. He is so crossing a boundary, and does not seem to be listening to my requests to keep his opinion to himself.

Fuck. Why can’t people just mind their own damn business.

Carrie, if you read this I suck. I have not forgotten your quilt. I have the fabrics, and I am so excited to start putting it together for your little girl!

I went in to check on the puppies a little while ago, while my mom took Bella outside for a bit. I had the three of them crawling around on the bathroom floor, which is really funny, because they kind of propel themselves with their front paws, and that’s about it. At one point Jude pushed himself headfirst into the water bowl.

We were laughing at how they are simply too fat to walk, when all of a sudden Lucy pulls herself up on all fours and takes a couple of steps! I wanted to video it, but it’s 2:30, and I’m tired, so it shall have to wait. What is so funny about Lucy being the first to walk is that she is the runt, smallest pup, last to open her eyes. But because she’s so small she is the first one walking, and fatty Jude and Prudence are still scooting themselves across the floor on their tums!