Maybe I’m back?

August 22, 2011 - 8:50 pm 1 Comment

After being gone for such a while, it seems strange to start writing here again. I often tried to start a new home elsewhere on the web, but that didn’t work. So here we are, trying again. And maybe it will work. Who knows? If it doesn’t, I doubt there will be anyone who notices, anyway.

Life is so strange. But today feels like fall, and so I feel introspective. It’s how we roll, I suppose.

I feel so vastly different from who I ever was before. And I feel scared about feeling so different. Oh, F, I don’t really know what I feel at all. Except for something sticking under my w key. I do feel that. I have to stop eating at my computer. I’m pretty sure I used all the compressed air to dust on a day that I was feeling particularly lazy.

I wish that I didn’t have to work. Isn’t that terrible? I mean, not forever. Just for this particular time. I would like to focus my energy on keeping this too small for the four of us apartment clean, packing my stuff up for moving in a month, and just making my life more… whatever it isn’t right now. Streamlined, I guess.

No. Not streamlined. Aesthetically indulgent.

But I would miss my work pal like crazy. And actually, I’m really enjoying my job and coworkers so much lately.

I’m getting ready to move back to the Harbor, which I am quite excited about. I can’t wait to live closer to my family. And actually, this will make me at least a little bit closer to all of them. I’ll live in the same city as my mom, Joe and Grandma, Other Brother will only be 22 minutes away, and even my dad and Brother will be closer at 2 hours away, instead of 2.5. I look forward to a larger apartment, with a spare room for sewing and babying, a fireplace, a dishwasher and a washer/dryer. And a pool. Gotta love that pool.

I spoke to Richard today. We hadn’t spoken in months. We cleared the air. He probably will always hate me a little bit, but we had a good talk, and he is now in the loop regarding all the changes in my life. I feel good about that. I don’t like feeling like I have secrets. And maybe that’s why I feel like I can come back here again. I’m not sure. We’ll see.

I wish my apartment were clean. I would feel so much more indulgent if at least my room were clean. And the bed were made. Instead of just clothes everywhere, and dirty sheets and an unmade bed. I may at least clean this one room. And then lie on top of the made bed, listen to Adele on Pandora and read Atlas Shrugged, which Brother doesn’t think I will finish, but I so far find intriguing. It’s raining out, so it’s a good evening for that.

Oh crap, I just wish it were fall already.

One Response to “Maybe I’m back?”

  1. Richard Says:

    You do know that Atlas Shrugged is considerd the Bible of Conservative Republicans right?

    Some breakdowns links:

    Oh and I’m glad your back …

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