Archive for September, 2008

you see? that wasn't so bad.

September 30, 2008 - 6:34 am 1 Comment

Here is where we stand in terms of project: disinfect my house.

I cleaned the dining room, then removed all the furniture and vacuumed and shampooed the carpet.

And a pretty clean living room. Yay. When my house is organized I think better. Now: Brothers & Sisters, bath, and back to bed. :P

what a beautiful mess this is

September 30, 2008 - 5:54 am No Comments

Okay. How much does it drive me crazy that the commercial breaks on freaking doubled this season? I can’t stand it! It’s maddening.

You know what’s not maddening? The season premiere of Brothers and Sisters. I love fall. I love curling up on the couch in my pj’s, watching my favorite shows on the laptop. It might be nicer to watch them on TV, but really, the trade off is worth it, as I spend much less time watching crap on the television when I could be cleaning or having a life.

I got no cleaning done today at all. Instead I watched a movie with Angela and took a three hour nap. I only woke up because Richard called me. Which is, by the way, my favorite way to wake up. I can’t wait until he gets here in a week, and I can’t wait to go back to Nashville with him for a little mini trip. It’s going to be so much fun.

Mostly. There is one thing that has been bugging me a little bit, but I’m trying to let go of it for now. I’m the bigger person. Well, figuratively, anyway.

Mmm, Brothers and Sisters, and then a bath and back to bed. My goal for today was to clean, vacuum and shampoo the dining room, but Angela is asleep, and I’m not sure how heavy she sleeps. I’d hate to wake her. I hate making excuses, though, also. We’ll see.

Oh crap. I’m just gonna get up and do it now. So: clean the dining room, tidy the front room, Brothers & Sisters, bath and then back to bed. I took a three hour nap; it’s not like I’m sleep deprived!


September 29, 2008 - 6:50 am No Comments

So, another day come and gone, and I’m still breathing. I made it through!

I got so much stuff done today. I finally finished putting away all of the laundry, so my room was much cleaner. After the bed was made, I vacuumed and shampooed the carpets in the bedroom. With everything clean, and the new curtains and the sliding door wide open, it was so much better. Much more inviting. Much more livable. The remnants of my cold no longer live there. Everything is fresh. It’s exciting.

I got all cleaned up today, and dressed up, with no plans to go anywhere. I just wanted to get dressed up for myself. I wore a black cotton knee length skirt that I borrowed from Laini, as well as a black camisole. I wore a bright pink cotton ribbed t shirt over that. I flat ironed my hair. I put on makeup. And then I tucked into the couch and turned on disc three of Sex and the City: Season Two.

I spoke with my mom, who talked me into leaving the house to go see Ghost Town. I drove into the harbor, and I really enjoyed it. Ricky Gervais was so funny, and the movie was really touching. It left me feeling awesome.

As I was walking out to my car, a light breeze toying the end of my skirt, I heard two girls maybe my age or a tiny bit younger talking about the weather, and I turned to look. Automatically, I began to think how much prettier, thinner, whatever, they were than I, but then I looked down. And I thought, wow. I look beautiful today.

That was awesome.

I got a text from Laini: “We’re still here.” Just in case I needed reminding.

This evening was spent on the phone with Richard while instant messaging Laini. She’s talking birthday plans. I’m super excited. I watched more of disc three, before vacuuming the living room and hallway, and shampooing it as well. I’ve gotten a lot done on my to do list for Richard’s visit, which is a relief. I can’t wait for his visit. It’s so close.


September 29, 2008 - 3:08 am No Comments

Klondike finally has new dog bowls, so he doesn’t have to eat out of gladware anymore!

everything will be fine.

September 28, 2008 - 7:19 am No Comments

Lots has been going on this week. It’s taken me by surprise, and I lost my footing a bit. I kind of lost a bit of myself, as well. It’s been some work finding my way back, and I’m still not quite there, yet.

Some things about today that made me happy, besides my little princess, seen below.

*Laini and I driving throughout Pierce/Kitsap county, nursing each others hurts, while listening to this song:

*Coming home to find my puppy eagerly waiting for me. I hadn’t seen him in about 24 hours, and he was so excited to see me. He was running around like crazy, before settling in with Laini and I.

*Cuddling up on the couch with my precious Laini on the couch, sharing a blanket, and just relaxing, trying to forget our worries.

*Just when I thought I was absolutely losing my mind with an unexplainable fear, Richard sent me a text message trying to help. It did.

*FINALLY getting my room (mostly) cleaned, the car (mostly) cleared out, and my laundry done!

*The wonderful realization that I shared with Laini this afternoon: Richard will be here in a week and a half. I can’t wait.

*Finally, curling up on the couch after a bath, under my favorite blanket, watching Sex and the City: Season Two.

So maybe, even though life is hard, it’s not as bad as all that.

we're still here.

September 27, 2008 - 11:44 pm No Comments

I’m lost. I’m overwhelmed. I’m terrified, and I have no idea why. I just feel like I can’t breathe. I’m tired of feeling anything at all. I’m sitting on my couch in my pj’s, watching season two of Sex and the City. I’m going to take a nap, and just… not feel.

One of the only things that has made today bearable, besides some words from Weezer and a day of feeling to much with Laini, was playing dress up with this little girl:

I’m gonna hide out for awhile. I need to not feel.

Vegetarian 100

September 26, 2008 - 6:02 am 1 Comment

Weezer sent me this in an email, and I thought hey, what the hell?

1. Real macaroni and cheese, made from scratch and baked
2. Tabouleh
3. Freshly baked bread, straight from the oven
4. Fresh figs
5. Fresh pomegranate
6. Indian dal of any sort
7. Imam bayildi
8. Pressed spiced Chinese tofu
9. Freshly made hummus
10. Tahini
11. Kimchi
12. Miso
13. Falafel
14. Potato and pea filled samosas
15. Homemade yogurt
16. Muhammara
17. Brie en croute
18. Spanikopita
19. Fresh, vine-ripened heirloom tomatoes
20. Insalata caprese
21. Stir-fried greens (gai lan, bok choi, pea shoots, kale, chard or collards)
22. Freshly made salsa
23. Freshly made guacamole
24. Creme brulee
25. Fava beans
26. Chinese cold sesame peanut noodles
27. Fattoush
28. New potatoes
29. Coleslaw
30. Ratatouille
31. Baba ganoush
32. Winter squash
33. Roasted beets
34. Baked sweet potatoes
35. Plantains
36. Chocolate truffles
37. Garlic mashed potatoes
38. Fresh water chestnuts
39. Steel cut oats
40. Quinoa
41. Grilled portabello mushrooms
42. Chipotle en adobo
43. Stone ground whole grain cornmeal
44. Freshly made corn or wheat tortillas
45. Frittata
46. Basil pesto
47. Roasted garlic
48. Raita of any type
49. Mango lassi
50. Jasmine rice (white or brown)
51. Thai vegetarian coconut milk curry
52. Pumpkin in any form other than pie
53. Fresh apple pear or plum gallette
54. Quince in any form
55. Escarole, endive or arugula
56. Sprouts other than mung bean
57. Naturally brewed soy sauce
58. Dried shiitake mushrooms
59. Unusually colored vegetables (purple cauliflower, blue potatoes, chocolate bell peppers…)
60. Fresh peach ice cream
61. Chevre
62. Medjool dates
63. Kheer
64. Flourless chocolate cake
65. Grilled corn on the cob
66. Black bean (or any other bean) vegetarian chili
67. Tempeh
68. Seitan or wheat gluten
69. Gorgonzola or any other blue veined cheese
70. Sweet potato fries
71. Homemade au gratin potatoes
72. Cream of asparagus soup
73. Artichoke-Parmesan dip
74. Mushroom risotto
75. Fermented black beans
76. Garlic scapes
77. Fresh new baby peas
78. Kalamata olives
79. Preserved lemons
80. Fried green tomatoes
81. Chinese scallion pancakes
82. Cheese souffle
83. Fried apples
84. Homemade frijoles refritos
85. Pasta fagiole
86. Macadamia nuts in any form
87. Paw paw in any form
88. Grilled cheese sandwich of any kind
89. Paneer cheese
90. Ma Po Tofu (vegetarian style–no pork!)
91. Fresh pasta in any form (there’s a great fresh, organic pasta restaurant right near our house)
92. Grilled leeks, scallions or ramps
93. Green papaya salad
94. Baked grain and vegetable stuffed tomatoes
95. Pickled ginger
96. Methi greens
97. Aloo paratha
98. Kedgeree (the original Indian version without the smoked fish, not the British version with fish)
99. Okra
100. Roasted brussels sprouts

My Score: 49. I need to start eating more adventurously! The bolds are the ones I’ve eaten.


September 26, 2008 - 4:51 am No Comments

I needed something that reminded me of me.

Angela says this new background is very “me”. I dig it.

In two weeks I will have a distraction from the things that annoy me. And we’ll see.

And some people still need to NOT. I can think of a few.

K, bye.


September 26, 2008 - 3:42 am No Comments

I am having a hard time. I feel like I’m always alone, even when I’m not. I feel like some people have a hard time understanding that, and are either a: being insensitive simply by not being sensitive, or b: are deliberately pushing my buttons and basically just sucking balls overall.

I am beginning to wonder if things that I was once so excited about are really all they are cracked up to be.

I really, truly don’t understand things that people do, and social niceties that people choose to ignore. I really don’t understand people that don’t let go of something that they know isn’t going to work.

I don’t understand my ability to find the most fucked up person in the room and say hi, how are you, let’s be best friends, kay? And then you can spend the duration of our knowing each other making me feel crazy and unimportant!

I have no appetite. Maybe I’ll just stop eating, like Laini.

All I really want to do is sleep. I can’t wait for this weekend so I can sleep in a bit, and then clean the house and my car. And just overall be super lazy.

I’m going insane.

And some people need to not, in the words of Laini.

get out and DO SOMETHING.

September 21, 2008 - 7:55 pm 3 Comments

I get so frustrated sometimes with myself on the weekends. It’s like, the work week is over, and I just get up and lie around the house like a bum not doing a thing. This weekend I decided that I needed to GET OUT! So Angela and I got in the car and went to the Olympic Rainforest to hike the Lake Quinalt Loop. Here are pics from our hike:

I’ve been to Quinalt both in Summer and Fall, and I have to say that the off season is my all time favorite time to be there. Nothing is more relaxing than sitting on the edge of a dock reading a book, or relaxing in a light fall drizzling rain.

Angela checking something out at the edge of the lake. She doesn’t like when I take her picture.

This is what is known as a nurse log. This is one of the coolest things you can see in the rainforest, in my opinion.

I absolutely love the Lake Quinalt Lodge. I wanted to bring Weezer here so badly, but we won’t have enough time. Isn’t it pretty? It’s kind of Dirty Dancing-esque, I think.

We went into the Lodge after our hike, and relaxed on these comfy leather couches in the giant lobby. There was a huge fire in the fireplace, and it was nice after the cold weather outside.

Today I went to work for a little bit, had a good day, and now Angela and I are watching Can’t Buy Me Love. I just got off the phone with an old friend, and I’m very glad Weezer told me I should just call her. It was good to hear her voice.