For Auld Lang Syne: Kylie and Lulu (helped by some bagpipers) arm in arm as Glasgow says goodbye to the Commonwealth Games

Kylie Lulu

The curtain has come down on 11 days of Commonwealth Games sporting action in a glittering, star-filled closing ceremony at Glasgow's Hampden Park. Fireworks kicked off proceedings before Glasgow-born singer Lulu sent sang her hit Shout, the Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo entered (bottom left) and Australian Kylie Minogue (top left) performed a seven-song set. The farewell rounded off with a mass performance of Auld Lang Syne featuring all of the ceremony's 2,000 performers (including Kylie and Lulu, centre) and the 40,000 spectators.

Calais in crisis over UK-bound migrants:
Tensions at boiling point as riot police prepare to move in on 'Jungle 2', the camp housing thousands desperate to make Britain their home

Migrants from east Africa queue for charity food handouts as police prepare to clear their illegal camp on the outskirts of Calais, known as Jungle 2.

Police vans patrolled the French town ahead of the imminent crackdown as a court deadline for East African migrants, pictured queuing for food handouts and preparing a meal, to leave the illegal camp known as Jungle 2 expired. Last night, tensions at the camp were at breaking point as water supplies were cut off and gendarmes prepared to move in to clear the 1,000 migrants living there. Numbers have swollen in recent weeks as more and more people from Eritrea, Ethiopia and Sudan make their way to the already crowded settlement and the surrounding countryside.

Can a £25 whitening treatment give you a Hollywood smile?

At £600 professional teeth whitening treatments are a luxury few can afford. Pearl Drops Pure White Whitening Kit promises the same results for just £25

We've lost the faith of public on immigration, says Clegg: Deputy PM thinks people do not believe what ministers tell them as it doesn't tally with that they see on the ground

Speaking out: In a speech on immigration, Nick Clegg will back the seek reforms to the free movement of European citizens to ensure that fewer Eastern Europeans move here if more countries are admitted to the EU in future

The Deputy Prime Minister will back the free movement of European citizens but seek reforms to ensure fewer Eastern Europeans move here if more countries join the EU.

Superboomers... the over-50s relishing the good life: Generation is leading subtle changes in society because they are wealthier and healthier than previously 

B73XKN Portrait of happy senior biker couple sitting on motorcycle. Image shot 2008. Exact date unknown.

They keep fit, set up their own businesses, get online, travel and date, says research by The Future Laboratory, commissioned by technology firm Huawei.

Dawn French ordered to halt restoration work on her 40-room Cornish mansion after her builders are pictured dangling 60ft over rocks from their scaffolding poles

Dawn

Builders were temporarily banned from working on the comic's cliff-top home in Fowey after carrying out a series of seemingly-risky manoeuvres. As they worked to strengthen a wall on the cliffs, one worker is pictured leaning face-first into the cliff from the scaffolding, right. A second worker was also spotted balancing on the scaffolding in front of the huge-arched windows, top left, as material was lowered to his colleagues below. After complaints, the Health and Safety Executive ordered Heritage Cornwall Ltd to stop work immediately until they had 'put it right'. It said the firm had to stop work 'immediately' but the issue had now been resolved. French, inset, bought the house with ex-husband Lenny Henry in 2006.

Mike Smith's friends had no idea that DJ was dying: Ex-colleagues kept in the dark

Shock: Former BBC Radio 1 DJ and TV  presenter, Mike Smith, pictured with wife Sarah Greene, died in hospital on Friday from complications following major heart surgery

The former BBC Radio 1 DJ and TV presenter, 59, (pictured with wife Sarah Greene) died in hospital on Friday from complications following major heart surgery.

Loom band craze is an 'eco ticking timebomb': Fears thousands of the bands that cannot be recycled are being discarded in the street 

Experts fear thousands of the colourful elastic bands, which children make into bracelets, necklaces and even clothing, are being discarded in the street.

Time for a new job? Half of us dislike our jobs so much we think we're in the wrong career 

BATTM7 Stressed business woman reading paperwork in office. Image shot 2009. Exact date unknown.

A survey of 2,000 employees revealed 49 per cent of Britons are seriously considering a new role, while a fifth think their jobs are meaningless and stressful.

How dial-a-GP diagnosis leads to repeat visits: Patients 'more likely to seek further help'

ABJ6MC district nurse taking notes on the phone

Telephone consultations with a GP meant they were 50 per cent more likely to call again, turn up at A&E; or try to see a doctor out-of-hours, a Department of Health study found.

Pictured: British paedophile suspect as he walks hand-in-hand with 11-year-old girl in Cambodia in children's charity's surveillance footage

Arrest: Suspected paedophile Michael Jones was arrested by Cambodian police after he was snapped strolling hand in hand with an 11-year-old girl in Phnom Pen

Michael Jones, thought to be from South Wales, is said to have taken at least one underage girl to a rented room in the city, and was seen with her in Phnom Pengh. The 55-year-old was also pictured with half-dressed eight and nine-year-old girls and with a small child nestled on his lap. The images led his arrest on suspicion of sexually abusing girls in Cambodia.

The women who claim they can control their dreams: Meet the people who have trained themselves to overcome real problems and haunting nightmare - while they sleep 

Dream therapy

Myra Nicol from West Sussex, left, and Sinead Flannery who did a dream retreat in Birmingham,right, say that training themselves to have lucid dreams has helped them to overcome real life problems and years of haunting nightmares. A growing number of people have trained themselves to control their dreams and the technique is now being used as a cure for insomnia and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Cameron accused of 'degrading' Parliament as he is set to hand out peerages to up to 20 party political cronies 

Pic Bruce Adams / Copy Lobby - 30.9.13
David Cameron  and Karren Brady listens to George Osborne give his keynote speech to conference. - Conservative Party Conference at Manchester Central, Greater Manchester.

David Cameron is likely to create 20 peers taking the number to highest since most hereditaries were removed. One new entrant could be Karren Brady (pictured with Mr Cameron).

Thai surrogate mother of abandoned Down's Syndrome baby Gammy told by Australian parents they were 'too old' to care for twins

More than $182,000 has been raised so far for Gammy's mother to pay for her sick son's medical expenses

Thai surrogate mother of Gammy has revealed that the adoptive father, aged in his 50s, 'never looked Gammy in the face or carried him' when he was born. Instead he 'came to the hospital to take care of the girl', Pattharamon Chanbua said.

Former Islamic radical turned MI5 agent Morten Storm's life to be turned into spy movie by Bourne-trilogy director

Storm Bourne: Danish-born radical Islamist-turned MI5 spy Morten Storm is set to see his autobiography turned into a Hollywood movie

Bourne Identity director Paul Greengrass is rumoured to be leading the project, based on Danish-born Morten Storm’s autobiography.

Peaches was tormented by fame and just wanted to be normal like us says friend who ran mothers and babies group she attended

Peaches was frustrated that her other celebrity friends did not know what it was like to be a mother, as she was to her sons Phaedra and Astala

Michele Kavanagh, from the Gentle Parenting Group in Maidstone, Kent said the 25-year-old wanted to escape her 'shallow' celebrity world.

'Blinging up baby' mother sparks outrage by dressing her four-year-old daughter in a HOOTERS outfit for beauty pageant

Too young? Scarlett took part in a beauty competition wearing a Hooters costume made by her mum Liane

Mother Liane, 33, (right) from Portsmouth, created the controversial costume for Scarlett (left) who featured in the Channel 5 documentary called Blinging Up Baby last night. She even taught her a dance routine. However, the costume and routine has been deemed 'inappropriate' by viewers.

Gaza teeters on the brink: Half a million now homeless, medical supplies have run out, morgues overflow and ANOTHER shelter full of children gets bombed as UN chief declares: 'It's a criminal act'

Gaza

WARNING GRAPHIC CONTENT: Gaza is on its knees tonight, the United Nations has declared, with babies' bodies crammed into ice cream freezers in overflowing morgues as fighting leaves almost half of medics unable to get to work. Palestinians say corpses are littering the streets as casualties litter the blood-stained emergency room floors of Gaza's hospitals, a third of which have been damaged in the fighting. Almost half a million civilians - 460,000 or a quarter of all Gazans - have been displaced with 260,000 crammed into 90 desperately crowded shelters, some of which have had no running water for two weeks. The crisis escalated today after Israel reportedly attacked another UN school killing 10 people. Another strike nearby in Rafah killed nine members of the same family (right) and left others scrambling to get out of the rubble, including a dirt-coated young boy (left). Inset: Some Israeli soldiers have been celebrating after many ground troops pulled out of Gaza, their mission to destroy Hamas tunnels largely complete, but Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu vowed to continue his nation's assault on militants.

Netanyahu warns the US: Do not 'ever second guess me again' on Hamas

Israeli Defense Minister Moshe Yaalon (L) and Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu (C) attend the cabinet meeting at the Defense Ministry in Tel Aviv, on July 31, 2014. The army will continue working to destroy tunnels used by Gaza militants for cross-border attacks with or without a ceasefire, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said today. AFP PHOTO/POOL/DAN BALILTYDAN BALILTY/AFP/Getty Images

Sources familiar with conversations between Netanyahu say the Israeli leader advised the Obama administration 'not to ever second guess me again' on the matter.

Tories tell Miliband: You are hampering bid for peace in Gaza after Labour leader attacked Cameron's response to the crisis 

UNITED KINGDOM, London: Ed Miliband speaks during the launch of the Labour party's summer campaign at the Royal Institute of Architects in London on July 25, 2014

The Labour leader criticised the Government for its ‘inexplicable silence’ over casualties in Gaza and its failure to tell Israel that its actions are ‘unacceptable and unjustifiable’.

So would you wear this £1 jewellery from Poundland? 82-piece range including necklaces and rings set to hit the shelves 

The range is called Purple Ivy and includes a remarkable 82 pieces, including necklaces, rings, bracelets, bangles, brooches and earrings. There are six collections under the labels Lady, Girl Next Door, Vintage Colour, Mysterious, Nature and Rustic Animals. Chief executive Jim McCarthy says he wants Poundland, which has made a virtue of the fact that its products cost only £1, to become a force in high street jewellery.

One of Britain's most-wanted men who led international cocaine smuggling gang is arrested in South Africa after three years on the run

BEST QUALITY AVAILABLE. 
Undated handout photo issued by the National Crime
 
Agency of Martin Evans 52, one of Britain's most wanted criminals, who has been...

Convicted drug trafficker and fraudster Martin Evans, 52, from Swansea, has been arrested in Johannesburg, South Africa, after being on the run since 2011.

'Modern-day Talented Mr Ripley' allegedly defrauds aristocrat's charity out of £4,000 statue

Tracy Ward, the Marchioness of Worcester, claims convicted conman Matthew Brown (pictured) stole a statue due to be auctioned to raise money for her ethical farming campaign group Farms Not Factories

The Marchioness of Worcester, claims convicted conman Matthew Brown (pictured) stole a statue due to be auctioned for her charity Farms Not Factories.

Charity auction gives Downton Abbey fans the chance to live like lords and ladies at Highclere Castle for £10,000 a night

Access all areas: Bidders will get the chance to spend the night in Lady Cora's quarters

The online auction is being staged by Christie's and will offer the rare chance to stay the night at the Berkshire country house, as well as enjoying a meal with the Earl and Countess of Carnarvon.

Thinning hair? Try HALF a wig: They clip on at your crown - and fans say they're the most natural look yet

Clare Goldwin wearing wigs - NORMAL HAIR BEFORE PICTURE

Over the past few years CLAIRE GOLDWIN has noticed her locks thinning. While she's tempted by extensions she doesn't want to cause further damage, or face high costs. Half wigs of three-quarter wigs are designed to cover only the back of your head, blending with and enhancing your own hair. CLAIRE tries some out and gives her verdict

Afghanistan president's £53,000 two-night stay in Claridge's hotel is paid for by UK taxpayers

British taxpayers have footed a £53,000 bill for Hamid Kazai, the president of Afghanistan's two day stay at Claridge's on his official visit to London

Hamid Karzai and a 12-strong party were in London as guests of the UK Government during talks with Britain and Pakistan, and plumped for the Mayfair hotel during their stay.

Pictured: Father-of-one whose body parts were found at recycling plant as mystery surrounds his death

Grim: The body parts of Matthew Symonds, 34, were discovered at a recycling plant in Bristol

Detectives are investigating the possibility that the remains of Matthew Symonds, 34, were unwittingly picked up in a bin in Swindon - 45 miles away from the site, pictured.

The little boy who could be killed by a nursery rhyme: Rare condition means Jayson's heart might stop if he is shocked

Jayson Hart was born with Long QT Syndrome, a rare heart condition, which means his heart could stop if he is shocked or startled

Young Jayson Hart, from Hockley, Essex, inherited Long QT Syndrome from his mother Kelley, which means he is at risk of irregular heartbeats.

Diana's favourite DJ Mike Smith dies at 59 after complications arising from heart surgery

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/REX (764153ak).. Mike Smith.. Sony Radio Awards, Grosvenor House Hotel, London, Britain - 12 May 2008.. ..

Former BBC Radio 1 presenter Mike Smith has died at the age of 59 from complications following on from his recent major heart surgery.

Boy, 4, suffers horrific facial injuries after being bitten by savage pitbull-type dog 'that flipped in hot weather'

Riley Fox was in his neighbour's garden in Widnes playing with five other children when the animal, believed to be a Rhodesian Ridgeback-pitbull cross, clamped its jaws around his face

Riley Fox was in his neighbour's garden in Widnes playing with five other children when the animal, believed to be a Rhodesian Ridgeback-pitbull cross, clamped its jaws around his face. Pictures taken after the attack show the little boy with gaping holes in his cheek and deep cuts around his eye and mouth. His father Tony, 28, said: 'If it had bitten him a couple of inches lower it would have ripped his throat out.'

'Boob job scrounger' and Kate’s favourite baby shop: Josie Cunningham spotted at nursery store where Duchess bought Prince George’s Moses basket

Blue Almonds

Josie Cunningham (right), 24, was seen at Blue Almonds (centre) - a shop in upmarket South Kensington, south-west London, where the Duchess of Cambridge (left) visited 16 months ago, ahead of the birth of Prince George. Blue Almonds boasts that it creates ‘magical rooms for children’, and previous clients are also said to include Formula One heiress Tamara Ecclestone, singer Lily Allen and supermodel Claudia Schiffer.

I got high on pot with John McEnroe during Wimbledon declares Chrissie Hynde

Chrissie Hynde, the lead singer of The Pretenders, has claimed that Wimbledon champion John McEnroe called her during the tournament so the pair could smoke marijuana together.

NHS to fund sperm bank for lesbians: New generation of fatherless families... paid for by YOU

NHS sperm bank

For as little as £300 women will be able to search an online database and choose an anonymous donor on the basis of his ethnicity, height, profession and even hobbies.

Ebola vaccine 'does not exist because virus mainly affects Africans', claims top doctor

Local burial practices are thought to be helping spread the disease, which is transferred by direct bodily contact

UK's leading public health doctor, Professor John Ashton, has claimed pharmaceutical companies have not researched an Ebola vaccine because it is only killing Africans.

Cruellest reality TV show ever: Brilliant children reduced to tears by excruciatingly difficult tests - under the gaze of Britain's pushiest parents. As a backlash grows against Channel 4's Child Genius, a parenting expert gives her view

Cruellest child show

Even for a nation well used to the mercenary exploitation of spy-on-the-wall television, this latest series from Channel 4 has raised concern, writes TANITH CAREY. As one worried viewer pointed out on Mumsnet, the series would more aptly be named ‘Lunatic Parents’. For it is really all about the Eagle Dads and Tiger Mums, who want to show off how much work they have invested in their youngsters.

PM criticised over RAF trips at our expense: Cameron accused of wasting taxpayers' money after flying home one day into holiday to attend Commonwealth Games closing ceremony and World War I commemorations

David Cameron was flown home from Portugal by the Royal Squadron so he could attend the closing ceremony of the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow

David Cameron was flown home from Portugal by the Royal Squadron so he could attend the closing ceremony of the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow. He will today use the RAF plane to fly to France and Belgium for the First World War commemorations before flying back to Portugal on a commercial flight at his own expense. He and his wife will also take their traditional break to Cornwall, where they are pictured inset in 2008, later this summer.

David Cameron to make Apprentice star Karren Brady a peer - and she could be a Minister next year

Karren Brady and David Cameron

Mr Cameron hopes that Ms Brady will burnish his credentials among female voters and the business community in the run-up to the Election.

The Great British Bake Off's back, with its secret new ingredient - dried raspberry powder

Paul Hollywood, Mary Berry, Mel Giedroyc

High street chains have been stocking up on the little-known ingredient in anticipation of them becoming bestsellers after the show returns to our screens this week.

Kirsty Bertarelli: 'I'm very proud of my music'

Kirsty Bertorelli and husband

Why is Britain's richest woman performing her songs in local radio stations when she could just put her feet up on her private superyacht? KIRSTY BERTARELLI tells Lydia Slater why success is more important to her than money.

Tragedy of girl who secretly browsed anorexia websites: Mother's warning after suicide of teen with everything to live for

Leigh Holmes (tiop right) whose teenage daughter Elle (left) died after a tragic accident has revealed that her daughter had been visiting pro-anorexia websites before her death

Elle Holmes, from Bootle, Merseyside, had also been self-harming, covering her injuries with chunky accessories. Her mother Leigh Holmes said it was only after losing her 15-year-old daughter, she realised that the talented young singer had been battling 'hidden demons'. The 15-year-old was in Beijing at the time of her death where an inquest was held. It is believed that she took her own life.

BBC's £100k pay probe: Secret inquiry turns spotlight on bumper salaries of top stars 

New BBC Broadcasting House in central London .


epa03468538
The BBC's director of news, Helen Boaden, and her deputy have "stepped aside" pending the outcome of an internal review. The move by Boaden and Steve Mitchell follows director general George Entwistle's resignation last weekend.  EPA/ANDY RAIN

A review will see if BBC pays its stars too much. More than 250 BBC employees earn £250,000 a year and 14 earn over £500,000 but the BBC refuses to name them citing commercial sensitivity.

Horror beyond imagination: The most haunting account of the trenches you'll ever read - from a brilliant anthology by Birdsong author Sebastian Faulks 

They are the forgotten voices of World War I, who here bring to life the unbearable horror of trench warfare from the ordinary men who would become heroes for King and Country... Pictured (top right) are British volunteers marching through London to war in 1914, guarding a trench armed with rifles (bottom right) and finally going over the top - probably to death - on the front lines (left).

Bing
   

DON'T MISS

The poor door: Block of flats has separate entrances for property owners and their housing association tenant neighbours

Poor door

Residents from a block of flats in Woolwich have criticised the building's policy of making low income tenants use a separate entrance. The housing association tenants must use what is known as the 'poor door', while around the corner a nicer, separate entrance (pictured) is kept only for private flat owners to use. The practice made headlines recently with Labour claiming it was a form of class 'segregation'.

Judge 'tagged' knife thug... and then freed him to go on holiday to join gang in fatal teen stabbing outside Malia nightclub

Thug, known only as X, had sentence for carrying a knife delayed by a Judge so he could go on holiday to Malia, Greece, where he was involved in the fatal stabbing of Tyrell Matthews-Butron, 19.

Runaway Sierra Leone cyclist is found... but now their three relay squads go missing as team says it doesn't want to go back to Ebola-ridden country

Sierra Leone cyclist Mohamed Tholley is 'not missing' and his chef de mission knows his whereabouts, a Games spokesman has sai

The plea from the athletes comes as Sierra Leone sportstars failed to turn up on the start line of four separate events - sparking fears that even more could be going missing.

Red Len's right-hand man backs the pro-Putin rebels: Unite union's chief of staff brands Kiev rulers 'fascist'

London, United Kingdom. 31st August 2013 -- Andrew Murray trade Unionist and former Chair of StWC, speaking at NO ATTACK ON SYRIA National demonstration arranged by Stop the War coalition, inTrafalgar Square. Trafalgar Square, -- A national rally arranged by Stop the War coalition saw a peace march from Temple proceed via Parliament, then to Downing Street and Trafalgar Square calling for no Western military intervention in Syria.

Britain’s largest trade union Unite's chief of staff, Andrew Murray, has begun a group supporting pro-Russian separatists in Ukraine.

Heartbreak as mother-of-two, 51, dies in fall from horse as she celebrated breast cancer all-clear with bucket list ride along beach

Geraldine Jones

Geraldine Jones, 51, from Fownhope, Herefordshire, was fulfilling a promise she made to herself during a four-year battle with breast cancer when she was fatally injured after being thrown off her horse at Llangennith Beach on the Gower Peninsula. The mother-of-two had just been given the all clear and celebrated by riding down the beach in South Wales. Despite efforts by medical staff, the former hospice worker died on the way to hospital.

From omerta to online: Modern mafia bosses break with tradition of generations of secrecy by flaunting wealth and power on Facebook

The new generation of mob bosses originally began using internet sites such as Facebook using aliases and fake identities to carry out drug deals and demand 'pizzo' protection money, police say

The new generation of mob bosses originally began using internet sites such as Facebook using aliases and fake identities to carry out drug deals and demand 'pizzo' protection money, police say. But they are now increasingly using it to flaunt their power and wealth, according to an investigation. In images reminiscent of the ridiculed Rich Kids of Instagram, Sicilian boss Domenico Palazotto posted photos of himself lounging aboard gin palaces (left), cruising in a limousine and drinking champagne (right).

The lights go out... Cameron and Royal Family lead nation's candle tributes to Great War dead

Internet grab for Liz - 1418now.org.uk..Everyone in the UK is invited to take part in LIGHTS OUT by turning off their lights from 10pm to 11pm on 4 August 2014, leaving on a single light or candle for a shared moment of reflection to mark the centenary of the outbreak of the First World War...Page grabs and those organisations participating.

Prime Minister David Cameron is urging people to turn off all the lights in their homes except one lamp or candle between 10 an 11pm tomorrow evening to remember those who died in WW1.

Scientists identify a new species of dolphin... and they're swimming in Australian waters

The Australian Humpback Whale has been determined as its very own species, and this week was given its scientific name - Sousa sahulensis

The Australian Humpback Dolphin has officially been determined as a unique species, and been given its own scientific name. There are now officially four varieties of the humpback dolphin, despite previous thoughts that they were all one species.

Food fight! The moment Wladimir Klitschko humiliates fellow boxer Shannon Briggs in a Miami restaurant after the American fighter steals off his plate

Klitschko, 38, was tucking in to a bowl of food at an Italian restaurant in Miami, Florida when Briggs, who hopes to take on the Ukrainian in a title fight, arrived uninvited.

We met on Take Me Out and got married (but he was someone else's date)! Couple celebrate the dating show's first ever wedding

Special role: Little Freddie was a page boy at his parents' wedding

Adele Vellacott and Dave Cobain have become the first Take Me Out couple to get married. The couple, who live in London, met on the hit dating show presented by Paddy McGuinness, but ended up going on dates to the Isle of Fernando's with other people. Two years later they have a one year old son, Freddie, and on Saturday tied the knot in an intimate ceremony at Cwrt Bleddyn Hotel in Monmouthshire, South Wales.

Keep William Wallace out of it says Danny Alexander: Why Scotland should vote no in the referendum 

SCOTTISH HERO and PATRIOT.  SIR WILLIAM WALLACE.  (1272 - 1305)

Chief Secretary to the Treasury Danny Alexander puts his view as to why Scotland should vote no in the referendum and why Alex Salmond needs to take a sober look at the facts.

Hospitals urged to sack parking pirate squads after it emerges three-quarters of trusts use them to patrol car parks

Parking

Rogue firms have been given free rein across the majority of the country, allowing them to target patients with extortionate ‘fines’ during their medical appointments. Pictured: Nurse John Fagan (left, with wife Julie), 46, who was taken to court by an NHS hospital in Kent when he refused to pay two parking ‘fines’ he was given while living on the other side of the country; and Robert Goodchild (right), 86, who was threatened with a 22-page ‘evidence file’ after being fined £70 at an NHS hospital car park in Worcestershire.

'Heart in a box': Pioneering device keeps donor organs alive OUTSIDE the body

Saving lives: The Organ Care System (OCS), developed by TransMedics, allows donor hearts to continue functioning in a near-perfect state outside the body during transport

The Organ Care System simulates the conditions of the body, pumping oxygenated blood inside the heart so it continues to function as it would inside a living person.

RACHEL JOHNSON: Where's the ideal family holiday? 1,300 miles from your husband 

BY13GP The square of Makrinitsa village, in Pelion mountain, Greece, around sunset. Image shot 2008. Exact date unknown.

Friends gasp when I say my husband is shunning this year's holiday to Pelion, Greece (pictured). Like most men, he simply does not understand how to do nothing in the sunshine.

LIZ JONES: Listen up, men: dusting is NOT the key to more hanky panky

Even celebrated songwriter and TV talent show Mr Nasty Tony Hatch did the washing up, under the supervision of his wife Jackie Trent, the singer

Why don't women want more sex asks LIZ JONES. Because we are too tired from tidying up after our men and that includes emptying the little drawer on the toaster.

Anyone know a quieter place to surf? Congestion on the waves as Britain heads to the beach to soak up the sunshine

Surf's up

Much of Britain basked in glorious weather today - bringing holidaymakers and fun-seekers to the coast.. Brighton beach glistened in the early August sun, and Woolacombe beach in Devon (above) was filled with people.

Pictured: Have-a-go hero who jumped out of swimming lake to break up fight and was slashed 11 times across face and chest with broken bottles

Cut to shreds: Anthony Dukes, 25, suffered horrific injuries when he tried to break up a fight and he was stabbed with beer bottles - leaving his insides hanging out

Anthony Dukes, 25, had been enjoying an evening swimming in the lake in Astbury Mere Country Park in Congleton, Cheshire, when he tried to break up a fight and was stabbed with a broken bottle.

Tory bid to stop 'Waltzing Matilda' in her tracks: Cameron urged by MPs to block the appointment of Australian woman as the next 'chief executive' of the Commons 

Carol Mills, who runs a parliamentary department in Canberra, won the battle for the £200,000 job – despite claims her selection amounts is ‘political correctness’

Formerly conjoined twins who were connected at the brain and would have 'withered and died' if not separated celebrate 10 YEARS since doctors allowed them to become unique individuals

FILE. In this Sept. 9, 2003 file photo provided by Philippine Airlines, 17-month-old Filipino twins Carl, left, and Clarence Aguirre wait at Manila's International airport before their flight to New York. When they were born joined at the head, their mother remembers doctors in the Philippines telling her that she would have to choose which one would live and which would die. But ten years ago doctors at Montefiore Medical Center in the Bronx were able to save both boys in an operation done in 2004.  (AP Photo/Philippine Airlines, File)

Carl and Clarence Aguirre were born conjoined at the head in the Philippines in 2002, at a time when the treatment was to sacrifice one to save the other, but their mother refused to decide. She took the boys to Montefiore Medical Center in the Bronx, New York City, where doctors successfully separated them two years later. Now 12, the boys have to wear helmets to protect their brains. Carl (center) uses a wheelchair and leg braces, with limited use of his left arm and leg, while Clarence (left) is very active and acts like Carl's older brother. He can be hard to understand verbally.

In Flanders Fields, a century on: The scars of war still pockmark Ypres as Europe prepares to remember the 100th anniversary of the first shots of the slaughter

Remembrance: Scenes from Belgium and London

In a corner of the battlefield dubbed Sanctuary Wood sheltering soldiers, relics can be seen 100 years on, as memorial services were planned across the UK, which will see David Cameron, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, Prince Harry and hundreds of other figures pay their respects to those who died between 1914 and 1918, while a flood of ceramic poppies outside the Tower of London (top right) continues to grow.

U.S. spy plane avoids dangerous run in with Russian jet by flying into Sweden's airspace without permission

An RC-135 Rivet Joint Reconnaissance aircraft avoided a dangerous run in with a Russian jet on July 18 by by flying into Swedish air space

A U.S. Air Force spy plane avoided a run-in with the Russian Military on July 18 just one day after Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 crashed by flying into Sweden.

'When their innocent bodies were blown from the sky, I stretched my arms as high as I could and screamed for them:' Mother of three children killed aboard MH17 relives her grief at packed memorial service

MH17

Mo, Evie and Otis Maslin (centre) and their grandfather Nick Norris were returning from a holiday in Amsterdam when their plane was shot down over Ukraine. Their mother, Rin Norris, was reduced to tears (left) when remembering her children and father at a Perth memorial service on Sunday. Ms Norris and her husband Anthony Maslin released three balloons (right) for their children at the Dockers AFL game on Thursday as the Fremantle Football Club paid tribute to three young children.

Pictured: Father-of-one whose body parts were found at recycling plant as mystery surrounds his death

Grim: The body parts of Matthew Symonds, 34, were discovered at a recycling plant in Bristol

Detectives are investigating the possibility that the remains of Matthew Symonds, 34, were unwittingly picked up in a bin in Swindon - 45 miles away from the site, pictured.

Paedophile primary school teacher who sniffed and tickled pupils' feet for sexual thrill walks FREE from court

Former primary school Martyne Airey, 51, who sniffed and tickled pupils' feet, walked free from court. He is pictured here at an earlier hearing

Martyne Airey, 51, from Blackburn, Lancashire, made pupils play a game of 'sniff and tickle' and got a kick out of smelling sweaty feet.

Grieving Chinese couple whose sons drowned in a dangerous quarry keep their bodies in a deep freeze until officials explain why site was not filled in 

Frozen

Three-year-old Chung and his brother Hu, five, fell in the quarry in Loudi, Hunan province, when they were throwing stones. The site had been excavated to make way for a new road two years ago but was left derelict. The boys' father Cai Libiao, 28, and mother Wang, 27, are now appealing for compensation from the council, and an explanation. They say they will keep the boys' bodies until they have answers.

Identical twins BOTH survive eye cancer after being diagnosed aged just 12 months old

Left, Isla with her dad Alan Devine, and right, the twins together in their pram

Twins Isla and Grace Devine (pictured together right), of Northumberland, were both born with a rare form of eye cancer which was discovered when they were just 12 months old. The heartbreaking news was delivered to their parents Laura Pollard and Alan Devine (pictured left with Isla) after they noticed something wasn't right with Grace's eye. Although Grace had to have an eye removed and her sister Isla underwent six months of chemotherapy, recent tests have shown the cancer is now dormant in both girls.

Today's hottestfashion finds

  • Michelle

    Stay dry in Michelle's Lipsy parka

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Watch out there's an A321 on the A419: Congestion as dismantled airline makes its way across western England

The Airbus Aircraft Fuselage, measuring 155ft long and 19ft wide, travelled along the A419 this morning

The aircraft, measuring 155ft long and 19ft wide, left Cotswold Airport in Gloucestershire at around 6am this morning and made its way to the Royal Portbury docks near Bristol. Due to its size, the transporter carrying the Airbus aircraft fuselage was slow-moving and caused congestion on the A419 for several motorists. It was escorted by a police convoy from Wiltshire Police, who had advised members of the public that the journey would be taking place.

University admin worker jailed for stealing £50,000 in student expenses cash and blowing it on exotic holidays and tea at the Ritz

A HIGH-LIVING university pen-pusher has been jailed after she stole over £50,000 ¿ and blew it on exotic overseas holidays and afternoon tea at London¿s iconic Ritz Hotel...Sophie O¿Hara, 27, plundered the cash from the University of East Anglia in Norwich by making a string of bogus student claims...O¿Hara broke down and wept in the dock as she was locked up for eight months...The UEA science department administrator, who earned £16,000 a year, signed student expenses forms as part of her job, Norwich Crown Court heard yesterday (Fri)...Chris Youell, prosecuting, said O¿Hara wasn¿t a qualified accountant but was in a position of great trust as she was authorised to sign for large sums of money...Mr Youell said the crook was caught when it emerged she¿d been paying cash from false claims into her own NatWest account...High life - O'Hara snapped outside court.

Sophie O'Hara, 27, has been jailed for eight months after she admitted using her job as an admin worker at the University of East Anglia to steal £50,000 through making fake expenses claims.

Did trigger finger ruin my magic? Not a lot, says Paul Daniels, thanks to his doctor's bag of tricks

Like magic: Paul Daniels, 76, pictured with wife Debbie, has been helped with his 'trigger finger'

Magician Paul Daniels, 76, was diagnosed with 'trigger finger', a condition which causes the finger to catch or lock when bent or straightened.

Incredible image of Italy at night seen from 200 miles up from the International Space Station

This incredible image of Italy was taken at night by crew members aboard the International Space Station, currently orbiting Earth from 200 miles up

NASA astronauts Alexander Gerst and Reid Wiseman, part of Expedition 40, shared their spectacular view on social media sites for the world to see.

Party at the top of the world: Builders celebrate world's second tallest building reaching its peak at 2,037ft (so don't drop anything!)

With a cheer, a wave and a peace sign, these construction workers are putting the finishing touches to what has been hailed a symbol of 'China's boundless future'.  Secured with safety ropes and harnesses, they sit astride the final truss on the top of what will be the world's second-tallest skyscraper. Topped out exactly a year ago, the Shanghai Central Tower is already China's tallest tower. But its position was cemented today as the last part of its roof was secured, bringing it to its full height of 2,073ft.

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Palestinians try to evacuate a wounded boy        

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Topless picture of US college football coach goes viral because 'he looks just like Hollywood heartthrob Ryan Gosling'

kliff kingsbury ryan gosling

A shirtless photograph of a Texas football coach said to resemble Ryan Gosling was shared online Monday. Texas Tech University's head coach Kliff Kingsbury, left, was caught posing with two women in bikinis in the image, one of whom is a cheerleader for the Dallas Mavericks. Kingsbury, 34, has already been declared multiple times a lookalike of Hollywood actor Ryan Gosling, right. Kingsbury has spoken publicly about his resemblance to the heartthrob.

Thieves steal $1million in designer goods from Texas beauty queen's two storey 'she-cave' after she proudly showed off its contents on Good Morning America

Theresa Roemer

Just weeks after her luxurious 'she cave' became national news, someone has robbed former Mrs. Texas United America of nearly $1 million in jewelry, bags, and valuables. Theresa Roemer, pictured in her huge two storey walk-in closet before the raid top, said she and her husband were only gone 90 minutes for dinner at a country club just two blocks away when they came home to broken glass and empty shelves, pictured bottom left and right.