Why I will never nag my man, by Kirstie: TV presenter says not arguing with her partner has helped keep them together

By Laura Cox


Opened up: Kirstie Allsopp says she would never nag her partner and that has aided their 10-year relationship

Opened up: Kirstie Allsopp says she would never nag her partner and that has aided their 10-year relationship

She bickers like mad with Phil Spencer on Location, Location, Location, but Kirstie Allsopp insists that she’d never nag her partner to do anything.

The Channel 4 TV presenter claims she and Ben Andersen never argue, which has helped keep them together for the past decade.

But it means that instead of asking Mr Andersen, 52, to help out around the house, such as doing the dishes or wiping down surfaces, Miss Allsopp, 42, does it all herself.

Her children, however, don’t get such an easy ride. 

As she launched a range of crafting kits for Hobbycraft, she told how she imposes a strict limit on the time her sons – Bay, seven, and Oscar, five – spend on the internet.

Instead she encourages them to tie-dye and decorate paper bags to give as presents.

Opening up about the traditional home life she leads, and the secret to her lengthy relationship with Mr Andersen, Miss Allsopp said: ‘it probably helps that I’m not a nag’

‘I don’t like arguing,’ she said, recounting one of their few rows, which centred around whether or not to tidy up ahead of a cleaner’s visit. ‘I think there are some people who actually, it’s a tension releaser arguing. But it doesn’t have that effect on me.’

Miss Allsopp added: ‘I think you don’t want to be the nagging girlfriend, but at the same time you don’t want to be the hopeless boyfriend. I think everything works both ways. You don’t want to be the nagging girlfriend, and if you are the nagging girlfriend you want to think “ok, is he hopeless? In which case what am I doing with him?”’

It is a sentiment she has passed on to her sons and stepson,  instructing them to never accept a nagging girlfriend. And she said she uses examples from television programmes to highlight her point.

She said: ‘24 Hours In A&E was on the telly last night and I was watching it with my stepson and there was this lady just “yap yap yap yap yap” to her husband and I said to him “don’t put up with it”.

'I said “if you have a girlfriend who talks to you like that, walk”. I said “just look at that, that is not the way to lead a happy life”.’

 

Instead, for Miss Allsopp, happiness comes in putting her children and partner before herself and sharing with them her passion for craft making. It is a surprisingly nostalgic hobby, perhaps, for Miss Allsopp, who comes across as headstrong and career driven onscreen in the Channel 4 programme she has presented with Phil Spencer for 14 years.

But the television presenter, who retreats to her property in Devon at weekends to escape the stresses of London, said she believes being successful in her line of work, which has also involved presenting Kirstie’s Homemade Home and Kirstie’s Handmade Britain, is what allows her to enjoy crafting.

Bickers like mad... Miss Allsop with Location, Location, Location co-presenter Phil Spencer

Bickers like mad... Miss Allsop with Location, Location, Location co-presenter Phil Spencer

Miss Allsopp said: ‘I think what happened is [women] consciously rejected [crafting] because we had to forge a path in the workplace and now we have forged a path in the workplace we can say actually, “I’m a successful manager but at the weekend I like to knit. And I am still this successful professional woman.”

‘Now people have done what they want to do, and they’ve proved themselves, they’re not scared of saying “yes my hobby is something that was previously seen as quite feminine”. And you can do both.’

The next step, she added, is encouraging men to do it too. But as for housework, it would seem that will remain Miss Allsopp’s domain.

She said: ‘Ben, in my opinion, can’t wipe surfaces. If I’m cooking he’ll say “I’ll wash up”. So he washes up and I will creep back downstairs afterwards and do the surface wiping. I’m one of those people who likes everything to be neat before we go to bed. And I can’t leave it for someone else, so it’s got to be sorted.’

The comments below have been moderated in advance.

Men don't respond to nagging surely. If the housework doesn't get done, then it doesn't get done. Why don't women think like a man sometimes, tidying is not a necessity to enjoying your life.

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She broke my annoyometer.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?......... Oh give it here, i'll do it myself.

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He still doesn't want to marry you though, do he!

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No passion then, if you cannot spar with your other half once in a while, than something is sadly wrong there. She looks like one of those mumsy women who cooks for their partner all the time and irons his clothes.

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Can't stand this woman! She is smug and holier than thou and thinks we care about her 'perfect' life. Asking your partner to do something 'for you' isn't nagging. Why shouldn't they help around the house they, too, live in? If they don't do it the first time, then you have to ask again. It's not nagging - it's just not being a doormat! I work part time, and my partner works full time, so yes, I do the majority of the work within the house, but if I ask him to do something, he knows there is a reason why I have asked, and he does it. We are a partnership - not a skivvy and a lord! Kirsty needs to keep her smug gob shut!

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Half the time they do not realise they are nagging ,its a natural as breathing to them

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Imagine he does as he is told, therefore no need for her to nag.

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Wonder what would happen if her other half lost his job or decided not to work ???

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How boring, it's the making up that's fun

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