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[–]EliQuince -36 points-35 points

Or if they kill themselves, same thing right? lmao. Y'all are some sick fucks.

Edit: unfortunately I can't reply to any of your responses because I've been banned from posting in this sub for telling a joke. Funny, since the comment above me is breaking rule #4 of the sub. I guess I broke #2. Enjoy your censored, dictatorial subreddit, bitches.

Also, I would love to hear you say any of these things in real life, you fucking pussies. So tough on the internet but such socially inept little bitches in real life. I hope y'all choke on some kale you elitist pieces of dog shit.

Another edit: I think it's hilarious that y'all assume that because I don't think telling other people that they should kill themselves, that I am somehow a fat person myself. Y'all should know that I look like a god damned cancer patient and I'm probably skinnier than the lot of you. The hypocrisy and corollary contradiction of the Hivemind is strong- Robin Williams threads = Don't Kill Yourself! This thread = kill yourself!

Also, you should know that you are all the definition of Coward Piece-of-Shit Americans- such morons that you bury my comment without understanding the humor there within, such pussies that you ban me from the subreddit, so tough that you think you're special behind the screen of your laptops, when in reality you are just sickly, pale, basement Gollums. I honestly don't even have to say anything else because if y'all had any sense while viewing this, you would see just how big of pieces of shit y'all are being.

[–]Livryan 7 points8 points

They're already killing themselves.

[–]inkedredhead 13 points14 points

In no way have I said that suicide was something I'm advocating. I'm simply saying that if someone is in a fragile emotional state, he/she should seek support elsewhere, as in not a subreddit that is clearly unsupportive of the lifestyle choices that person has made.

[–]GrantAres 13 points14 points

I mean they're already killing themselves with their eating habits, but like most things, even suicide takes fatasses longer.

[–]coltaine9 5 points6 points

Fat.

[–]its-the-new-style 9 points10 points

If I had an dollar for every time I said "come on, move it fatty" in public I'd have a lot more dollars than I have now

[–]LornAltElthMer 6 points7 points

Also, I would love to hear you say any of these things in real life, you fucking pussies. So tough on the interne

That's the hilarious thing about you slothful lazy gluttonous balls of shit.

None of the shitlords here would have a hint of a problem with that.

You're too fucking disgustingly fat to ever catch up and do anything about it.

If I did choke on some kale (which I grow in my garden 'cause I can move around and do such things) other people could fit their arms around me to Heimlich it out.

You don't share that benefit fatty, but you did enjoy those donuts didn't you :-)

[–]GobiusIndustries 3 points4 points

We actually know how to chew our food before swallowing, so I doubt the kale-choking thing is gonna happen. Sorry, ese.

[–]spaceheatersusan 1 point2 points

Also, I make kale chips in my dehydrator (with just a dash of olive oil and salt) and those things practically melt in your mouth. No danger of choking there.

[–]GobiusIndustries 0 points1 point

That sounds delicious. I like snacking on fruit and veggie chips, but they are usually over-priced at the grocery store. It sounds like I should invest in a dehydrator too.

[–]spaceheatersusan 0 points1 point

It is honestly amazing. I make awesome veggie chips (zucchini, sweet potato, kale, etc) with just the TINIEST bit of olive oil and salt, and they are so good. Dehydrated green beans are also crispy and awesome.

I also love to make my own fruit leather (I enjoy that more than fruit chips). I'll blend a few fruits together in my blender (and then usually add some chia seeds), pour it out on wax paper over the dehydrator tray, and there you go.

And because I make them myself, I know they have no crap in them. To get a good result though, you will need a GOOD dehydrator, and it can be a bit of a splurge. I paid $125 for a 4-tray Excalibur (the best brand ever), and then a year later had to upgrade to a 9-tray (which was about $250), because the 4 tray just didn't have enough room for me, lol!

[–]GobiusIndustries 0 points1 point

Wow, that all sounds really good. Fruit leather is one of my favorite snacks, I usually have trouble controlling myself with it, but they're expensive to buy pre made! I'm definitely going to look into buying a dehydrator, even if I can't afford it yet. It sounds more than worth it.

I'll use that fruit leather recipe too. :)

[–]spaceheatersusan 1 point2 points

Fruit leather is the easiest thing to make, and homemade is sooo much better than store-bought because you know exactly what goes into it! If I'm using a really tart fruit (like pineapple) I'll add a little honey to sweeten it, but otherwise it's just the fruit, and often chia seeds. Also, pineapple fruit leather is amaaazing.

[–]GobiusIndustries 0 points1 point

That sounds amazing, I've never had the chance to try pineapple before! (probably because grocery stores only seem to have berry flavors).

I've actually never heard of chia seeds before, so I just googled them. They're interesting, they do sound like something I'd like.

[–]spaceheatersusan 0 points1 point

They really have no flavour, they're just very healthy, which is why I add them to my fruit leather. You could also use flaxseeds, too! (I avoid flaxseeds because they make me break out, though)