'I can't go out... the support is really keeping me going during this stressful time. Just stay safe': Under 24-hour guard in fear for his life, Darren Wilson breaks his silence in texts to friend

  • Jake Shepard, a friend of 14 years, showed MailOnline texts from Wilson
  • Wilson, who shot dead Michael Brown, sparking seven nights of unrest, 'can't go out' and thanked him for support during 'stressful time' 
  • Shepard said he believes Wilson, who has a young child, is still in the St Louis area 
  • He feels bad that now Brown's and Wilson's lives are both 'now over'  
  • Shepard that while Brown's family has the support of the 'whole nation'... 'Darren doesn't get that'  

By Daniel Bates In Ferguson for MailOnline and Neil Blincow In Texas For Mailonline

The policeman who shot dead a black teenager in St Louis has revealed he is under 24-hour guard and 'can't go out' at this 'stressful time' in his first comments since the killing.

Darren Wilson text messaged a close friend to say that he can't leave protective custody because he would be immediately recognized - making him and his young child a target.

In his messages Wilson, 28, also thanked for the support of his friends which he said was 'really keeping me going'.

He had texted Jake Shepard, his friend of 14 years, who showed the messages to MailOnline because he wanted the public to get a more accurate picture of the friend he described as always having 'pure intentions'. 

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Aftermath: A friend of officer Darren Wilson, above, told MailOnline that Wilson was in hiding with his young child because the 'whole nation' is behind Michael Brown's family and Darren 'doesn't get that' support

Aftermath: A friend of officer Darren Wilson, above, told MailOnline that Wilson was in hiding with his young child because the 'whole nation' is behind Michael Brown's family and Darren 'doesn't get that' support

Aftermath: A friend of officer Darren Wilson, above, told MailOnline that 'it sucks' that his and that of the unarmed black teenager he shot, Michael Brown, 'are now over'

Aftermath: A friend of officer Darren Wilson, above, told MailOnline that 'it sucks' that his and that of the unarmed black teenager he shot, Michael Brown, 'are now over'

'STAY SAFE': TEXTS FROM WILSON TO SHEPARD

Friday, August 15 

(After Shepard does CNN interview)

Wilson: 'Thanks buddy I wasn’t expecting that

Shepard: 'No problem buddy, you deserve it'

Wilson: 'It means a lot thank you'

 ....

Monday, August 18: 

Wilson: 'The support is really keeping me going during this stressful time. Just stay safe. I appreciate all you have done'

Later...

Wilson: 'I can't go out' 

Shepard, 28, a nurse, said he felt that there were two sides to this story and that he wanted to re-balance the coverage of the death of Michael Brown, 18.

Brown's killing has sparked nine nights of riots and protest in Ferguson, a suburb of St Louis, Missouri.

Shepard told MailOnline he thinks Wilson did the right thing according to his training. But he believes that the police in general should have better training to use non-lethal force before opening fire.

He said: 'It's sad for Mike Brown and his family. Darren could have just Tasered him and Mike would have spent six months in jail or something and maybe got his act together after that.

'Darren could have gone on with his life too but now both of their lives are over. It sucks. 

'I'm sure Mike's family is having a hard time but at least they have the support of the whole nation behind them, openly. Darren doesn't get that'.

Shepard's comments came as people have begun to come out in support of Wilson, who lives in a quiet middle class suburb of St Louis in a ranch style house.

A rally took place on Sunday in downtown St Louis where around 100 people - many of them cops - held up posters in support and cheered as drivers honked their horns. Two Facebook pages have been set up to back him with a total of 35,000 likes.

The first text that Wilson sent to Shepard was on Friday after he spoke to CNN in a brief interview.

It read: 'Thanks buddy I wasn't expecting that'. Shepard replied: 'No problem buddy, you deserve it.'

Wilson replied: 'It means a lot thank you.' 

Support: Shepard provided MailOnline with this photograph of him playing hockey, which he did with Wilson, said Wilson 'doesn't deserve' to be remembered negatively for life as a killer cop

Support: Shepard provided MailOnline with this photograph of him playing hockey, which he did with Wilson, said Wilson 'doesn't deserve' to be remembered negatively for life as a killer cop

The two then texted over the weekend and Darren explained that he cannot go out in public and that anyone wanting to reach him should leave their messages with the Ferguson police department.

On Monday Wilson texted: 'The support is really keeping me going during this stressful time. Just stay safe. I appreciate all you have done'.

... Now both of their lives are over. It sucks. I'm sure Mike's family is having a hard time but at least they have the support of the whole nation behind them, openly. Darren doesn't get that'
                         - Friend Jake Shepard 

In another message he told Shepard that due to all the attention: 'I can’t go out'.

Shepard told MailOnline: 'People are very suspicious of law enforcement as it is and something like this happens you will always be remembered as the cop who murdered Mike Brown, regardless of what happens at trial or if he's ever charged or fired.

'Obviously he's not going to be able to be a cop over there (in Ferguson) any more.

'He’s going to have to resign but there's always going to be a negative connotation to his name, and it sucks. He doesn't deserve that.

'He's had pure intentions with everything I've ever seen him try and do. When we played hockey he wasn't the guy out there trying to fight people, he didn't care about stuff like that.

'He just wanted to play and have fun with his friends'.

Asked if he knew where Wilson is now, Shepard said: 'I know he’s safe because I have a friend in law enforcement who said he has been put under protection and guard 24 hours a day.'

'I feel like he's still around (St Louis)'.

Needless: Shepard, who believes police should be trained better to use non-lethal force, said: 'It's sad for Mike Brown and his family. Darren could have just Tasered him and Mike would have spent six months in jail or something and maybe got his act together after that'

Needless: Shepard, who believes police should be trained better to use non-lethal force, said: 'It's sad for Mike Brown and his family. Darren could have just Tasered him and Mike would have spent six months in jail or something and maybe got his act together after that'

Shepard said that he first met Wilson in 2000 when they were in the same year at St Charles West High School and that they played hockey together.

After that Wilson attended Saint Charles Community College between 2004 and 2005 where he studied criminology and criminal justice, the institution’s president Dr Ron Chesbrough told MailOnline.

Wilson went back to the same college in 2011 and completed a criminology course - by then he was a policeman.

Describing his friend, Shepard said: 'He’s pretty shy, we had hockey practice three or four nights a week so you get to know people.

 

'He's the type of guy who never had anything bad to say about anyone. Through all of this people are always asking me questions about what he's like and I realized that when you're talking to him he's never talking about himself, he's always asking about you and what's going on with you.

'He’s happy to be around his friends, he goes with the flow, he's laid back….he's just a normal guy'.

After Wilson was named as the officer involved in the shooting, Shepard was one of the first to come to his defense and wrote on Facebook that he 'has the biggest heart'.

Shepard said that Wilson 'had a rough life' because his mother died when he was 16 and his biological father lives in another state, meaning that he never really had parents for much of his youth.

Troubled: Shepard said that Wilson's mother died when he was 16 and his biological father lives out of state - but added that Wilson (pictured in his 2002 yearbook) never liked to talk about his hardships

Troubled: Shepard said that Wilson's mother died when he was 16 and his biological father lives out of state - but added that Wilson (pictured in his 2002 yearbook) never liked to talk about his hardships

Whenever he asked Wilson about it he did not like to talk about the past, Shepard said. 

Another of Wilson's friends spoke out earlier in the week. A woman calling herself 'Josie' called radio program The Dana Show last Friday to say he had told her Brown had 'bum-rushed' him prior to the shooting.

‘Josie', who would only give her first name but said she was friends with the cop's girlfriend, had her account corroborated by a source who said it matched what Wilson told investigators, CNN reported on Monday.

According to the St Louis Post-Dispatch more than a dozen witnesses have backed up Officer Wilson's report of what happened on August 9.

Meanwhile, Wilson’s father, John Wilson, 60, - who lives in Texas - has been nervously watching the Ferguson furor play out on national TV news and talk shows.

'It goes without saying that I love my son very much,' Mr Wilson told MailOnline as he stood on the wooden deck outside his single-story prefab home on a remote country lane, east of Houston.

Mr Wilson said that he has spoken to his son since the shooting but he was reluctant to reveal what father and son spoke about or how Darren is handling the tense situation he is in.

'The police have chosen not to make any comment about my son, other than to release his name,' added Mr Wilson. 'And Darren himself has not made a statement. So until they do come out and say something, I am not going to talk about it either.'

 

 

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