Koch Brothers Encouraging Youth To Make Voices Heard By Registering Super PAC

WICHITA, KS—Saying that perspectives of young Americans are rarely represented in today’s political discourse, Koch Industries executives Charles and David Koch released a ...

Elderly Lobbyist Always Droning On About How Little Legislation Cost In His Day

WASHINGTON—Citing his habit of haranguing younger colleagues about the way things used to be, sources confirmed Wednesday that 74-year-old veteran ExxonMobil lobbyist Hank Foraker ...

Eclipse Comes Just In Time To Save John Kerry From Tribe Of Island Cannibals

THE ISLE OF EMBERS—With the natives’ drumbeats suddenly falling silent as a mysterious midday darkness rolled across the island, sources confirmed that a solar ...

GOP Maintains Solid Hold On Youth That Already Look Like Old Men

The Republican Party may have an insurmountable lead among young voters who dress and act like they’re already 50 years old.

Obama Has Colorado Appraised

WASHINGTON—Hoping to get an idea of what the 138-year-old state might be worth, President Barack Obama dispatched a team of appraisers to assess the ...

Voters Clamoring To Know If Female Political Candidate A Mother First

LINCOLN, NE—Loudly demanding an immediate statement on the issue, Nebraska voters clamored this week for more information from female politician Elaine Romero, an Omaha ...

Obama Always Freaked Out By People Standing Above Him Smiling Whenever He Signs Bill

WASHINGTON—Explaining that the practice is “just flat-out bizarre if you think about it,” President Obama admitted to reporters Wednesday that he gets incredibly freaked ...

Obama Narrowly Misses Quarterly Performance Bonus

WASHINGTON—Explaining that he failed to hit his national growth goals for the April-June period, the White House’s Office of Personnel Management confirmed Tuesday ...

Koch Brothers Encouraging Youth To Make Voices Heard By Registering Super PAC

Elderly Lobbyist Always Droning On About How Little Legislation Cost In His Day

Eclipse Comes Just In Time To Save John Kerry From Tribe Of Island Cannibals

GOP Maintains Solid Hold On Youth That Already Look Like Old Men

Obama Has Colorado Appraised

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Palestinians Prepare For Massive Ground Invasion

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Biden Clenches Plastic Beer Cup In Teeth To Free Hands For Clapping

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Mitch McConnell Inflates Throat Pouch In Show Of Dominance Over Fellow Congressional Males

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What’s Going On With The Government Shutdown?

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Philanderer Taken Back

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Obama A Little Creeped Out By How Much Everyone In Kenya Celebrating Reelection Victory

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As Per Tradition, Election Results Officially Certified With Two Barks Of Approval From Electoral Collie

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Romney Enchants Nation With Lovely Concession Song

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Wolf Blitzer Debuts New Real-Time Election Results Beard

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Ashes Of Deceased Presidents Rubbed Upon Voters' Heads In Hallowed Election Day Tradition

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Romney Rolls Sleeves All The Way Up Over His Head

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Romney Campaign Releases New Picture Of Candidate Standing In Situation Room During Bin Laden Raid

Voters Clamoring To Know If Female Political Candidate A Mother First

Obama Always Freaked Out By People Standing Above Him Smiling Whenever He Signs Bill

Obama Narrowly Misses Quarterly Performance Bonus