Sky Sports News' transfer deadline day has become a one-trick pony... the roving reporters have made themselves standing targets for unruly fans

• Sky Sports News have a new studio but their show was more of the same
• Jim White resumed his role as their 'timelord'
• The Scot was assisted by Natalie Sawyer and Kate Abdo
• But the fans were allowed to run riot outside grounds
• Gary Cotterill used the vanishing spray to keep the crowd back
• Fans brought a inflatable doll and sex toy which were shown live 

By Mark Webster Follow @@ItsMarkWebster

Published: 04:48 EST, 2 September 2014 | Updated: 08:43 EST, 2 September 2014

As many of you are no doubt aware, transfer deadline day actually started about two weeks ago over at Sky Sports. The studio has been given a makeover for the new season. Much like the new Doctor’s Tardis. And also like that rather unique Police Box, there is an irascible Scot at the the helm.

But Sky Sports News’ very own timelord Jim White (‘the clock is TICKING!’) can’t be at the controls all the time. No worries, though, because his team of assistants have been fanning the flame for this particular Monday since the season began.

Indeed, so much was the chain cranked over the approaching days, even come Monday morning, with over 11 hours to go, the studio felt like it was already at Def Con 1. One presenter even riffed on Jim’s repertoire and told us the ‘clock was ticking FAST’. Although on further inspection, it was actually ticking at the normal rate. Phew! No teething problems for the new studio there, then.

VIDEO Scroll down to see the Premier League's 10 most expensive summer 2014 transfers 

Here we go again: Jim White and Kate Abdo take the fans through deadline day on Sky Sports News

Bright: Natalie Sawyer took control of the iPad as Sky Sports News brought fans up to date with the news

The new big screen was also put through it's paces early in the day. It showed us a multi-split screen of their reporters on the ground. Which actually looked like an episode of Celebrity Squares in anoraks.

Also out the traps early was deadline-day favourite Niall Quinn. His enthusiasm, first-hand knowledge and ready wit is custom built for this date in the calendar. And he put all of that to good use in a story about an agent who couldn’t work a fax machine and how all the girls in the office ‘used to wear flats’ so they could scamper about more easily. ‘I bet the girls here wished they could do that’, was the awkward, muttered reply.

But this was all just breakfast fayre. The main feast would be served from tea time when Brucie, sorry Whitey, and his beautiful assistants Natalie Sawyer and Kate Abdo made their entrance. And I don’t mean to be frivolous or condescending about their A Team here. 

Because there is no doubt that Sky Sports happen-chanced across a piece of pure light entertainment with the transfer deadline. And when they saw it was becoming something of a spectacle, quite rightly, they went for it!

Tricks of the trade: Gary Cotterill attempted to restore order by using the vanishing spray at Loftus Road

Crowd control: Cotterill was copying Premier League referees with his spray 

Not working: One fan managed to get in front of the camera and was pushed away by Cotterill

Keeping them entertained: A Stoke fan agreed to do the Ice Bucket Challenge on Sky Sports News

Out of hand: Supporters made a mockery of Sky Sports News' roving reporters at the grounds

Extreme viewing: A sex toy was shoved in presenter Alan Irwin's ear as he spoke outside Goodison Park

Trying: QPR offered Gary Cotterill safety indoors

The problem with that is, it’s a bit of a one-trick pony. Quite frankly, only the names of the players really change. The rest is the same old story. And as a result, as the windows roll by, their front of house faces have to try to continually up the anti.

So what are the options? Well, use the set! They gave Jim a dentist’s reception couch on which to occasionally ruminate on matters. While he and Natalie also got to stand at the big video wall so he could show us his trousers were too long. There were even the occasional forays into their ‘nerve centre’, to show us the cutting edge sight of people staring at computer screens.

Which is all fine. But the problem is, that’s not what brings home the bacon. That is the job of their men in the field. Them, but mainly, whichever member of the public decides this is their Britain’s Got Talent audition.

Sky Sports' regional reporters may once have thought it was quite fun to have a bit of an audience when they work. Indeed, while the sun is still shining, it is something of a cakewalk for them. But then, after dark, they are basically static targets for all manner of custard pie attacks. Which in the case of this deadline, for example, manifested itself in a sex toy to the ear at Everton, and some choice language straight into the mic from an athletic chap outside the Boleyn Ground. While outside Loftus Road, Gary Cotterill’s gag with a vanishing spray failed as both a joke AND crowd control.

Calm down: Fans have taken to gathering at grounds to get on Sky Sports News on deadline day

Lady in red: Kirsty Gallacher took the early evening shift as the transfer activity hotted up

Incoming: Reporters were getting the latest transfer news at it happened, right up until the 11pm deadline

Changeover: Viewers saw Gallacher and Julian Warren replaced by White, Abdo and Sawyer

Awkward: The changeover was far from smooth as the window entered its final three hours

Through to the end: Sawyer and White have been the final anchors for several deadline day shows

As a result of these incidents Natalie, not the first or the last time, was forced to apologise ‘for anything you saw or heard that was offensive’.

Which strikes me as the most hollow of statements. Because quite frankly, anyone watching who doesn’t think they’re going to see and hear things that are, in those terms, offensive have clearly not engaged in the abstract social intercourse of Sky Sports on transfer deadline day before. Indeed, they are more likely to be offended if they couldn’t actually relive the moment time and time again on some social media outlet or other.

Quite frankly, this wasn’t much of a transfer deadline window. Which is the way it goes. But I’m not sure Sky Sports News quite gets that now. Because once they started making the content light entertainment, and their presenters showbiz turns, they went down a road that was difficult to come back from.

Don’t get me wrong. There’s a lot of good solid telly journalism happening on the band wagon they are rolling out. And there is certainly drama that goes along with that.

However, all the banging of drums and firework displays the channel feel the need to use to maintain the hype serves not to enhance it, but obscure it in smoke and mirrors. It’s been a fun ride, Sky Sports News. But perhaps its time to get back to basics?

The 10 most expensive Premier League summer 2014 transfers

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