So, chaps, do you REALLY think we look better with no make-up? SARAH VINE on how the 'natural' look is, in fact, the result of an almost superhuman effort

By Sarah Vine For The Daily Mail

Published: 18:55 EST, 5 September 2014 | Updated: 20:00 EST, 5 September 2014

Dogs, we are told, don’t see the world as we humans do. Something to do with having fewer photoreceptors in their brains, apparently.

Sometimes, I wonder if the same might be true of husbands. You know how it is: three hours in the hairdresser and his only comment is: ‘what’s for supper?’

This week, the level of miscommunication between the sexes was highlighted even further by the publication of the results of a new study by beauty brand St Ives. 

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Superhuman effort: Sarah Vine with no make-up (left) and showing off the 'natural' make-up look - which women over 40 spend an inordinate of time, money and energy on achieving

Two-thirds of women say they wear make-up to impress men, but three-quarters of men say they prefer the natural look.Too much make-up, in fact, was deemed the top turn-off, swiftly followed by fake tan (amen to that), bright-red lipstick and thick eyebrows.

This would seem to indicate that all this grooming and pruning we women subject ourselves to is nothing but a silly waste of time.

Maybe men really are more interested in personality than looks. Perhaps we should just cancel the waxing, throw away the under-eye concealer, ditch the mascara and sally forth as nature intended.

Or perhaps not. Because what men don’t realise is that, in many cases, the ‘natural’ look is, in fact, the result of an almost superhuman effort.

Women, especially those like me over the age of 40, spend an inordinate amount of time, money and energy on just looking OK. Not frightening small children, that sort of thing.

When my husband Michael Gove, the Conservative chief whip, sees me first thing in the morning, he may  be seeing the make-up-free me (unless I’ve fallen asleep in my eyeliner again), but he’s certainly not seeing the natural me.

The bleary-eyed face to whom he hands a cup of tea is, unbelievably, the result of a good deal of artistry.

Not just the night creams and the day creams and the serums and the sun protection, but also rigorous observance of a cleansing routine, involving several gadgets, an arsenal of face masks and regular facials.

Full make-up: Eyeliner, eyebrow pencil and red lipstick give Sarah Vine a glammed-up look - but it is what the men in the survey said they didn't like

Yes, it’s true: all that effort and I still look this dreadful without  make-up. Dark shadows, eye bags, straggly brows, frown lines, pigmentation, shiny nose, jowls and all.

I suppose the one thing I don’t have is acne, but that’s just genetic: no one in my family has acne.

So, really, when you think about it, even the first and most frightful of the pictures here before you is not a truly ‘natural’ look.

‘Lovely, as always,’ was how my husband described it when I showed him the set, ‘but perhaps a little tired — and rather worried.’

Well, I was subjecting my bare face to the camera’s gaze for the first time in, oh, about a century, in order to put the results of this latest survey to the test. I agreed to be photographed with three different looks: barefaced; with natural make-up; and with a glamorous full face of make-up.

I then asked Michael to cast a critical eye and tell me what he really thought.When I asked him which of the three looks he preferred, he pointed to the middle one and said: ‘the one with hardly any make-up.’

Hardly any make-up? Ha! I wish. I’m wearing primer, foundation, concealer (industrial quantities, especially around my eyes), blusher, the most wonderfully flattering illuminating powder by Hourglass (Ambient Light Powder, £38, John Lewis), eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, eyebrow pencil, lipliner and lipstick.

Perhaps that’s really how he sees me. Or perhaps he likes it because it’s the closest to the way I used to look when we first met.

After all, many of the signs of ageing have been glossed over. My eyes and lashes have been subtly enhanced, there is a hint of colour in my cheeks and my lips are flushed. It all replicates how Mother Nature signals youth and fertility to the male eye.

As it happens, when my husband and I got together, I was going through a no make-up phase.

After a somewhat tragic late Eighties/early Nineties look involving vast amounts of the dreaded Ultra Glow (a neon-orange precursor to today’s modern bronzers) and some distinctly dodgy eyeshadow combos, I had entered a more pared-down phase.

My preferred look was black liquid eyeliner along the lashes, a lick of mascara and a pop of colour on the lips. In the days before babies and stressful careers, my skin was a fairly even-toned affair, so I rarely wore foundation. My hair was super-short and practical (I was sporty, see). Dare I say it, I didn’t actually need much to look halfway decent.

Perhaps the lack of artifice was one of the things he liked about me. On our wedding day, I did my own hair and make-up. In the end, I wore very little: I was smiling so much and so flushed with the excitement that I didn’t really require it. 

Lydia Bright is stripped of a weeks worth of make-up

Wow factor: Cheryl Fernandez-Versini models Sarah's favourite red lip (left) while Kim Kardashian (right) uses a brush and bronzer to create some serious contouring

In some ways, then, I find it rather sweet and romantic that he likes  me with natural make-up.

I, on the other hand, much prefer the glammed-up version. Like most married couples with children, we drive a practical, comfortable but, essentially, very dull car: a Nissan. Sometimes, though, one fancies a spin in a Ferrari. Or, at least, I do.

So, while the second look would definitely be my choice for the  office or a lunch date, for a special occasion I would vastly favour the more dolled-up look.

This has all the elements the men surveyed didn’t like: red lips, false lashes, heavy brows. But I absolutely loved it. I felt a million, trillion dollars. Which is part of the magic of good make-up. For me, the lips, in particular, are the best part.

There’s something irresistibly subversive about red lipstick —  even more so in my case, because I happen to know that my husband hates red lipstick.

He rarely comments unprompted on my appearance, but if I wear red lipstick, he always, always makes  a face. So, for me, red lipstick is a naughty treat. It says: ‘I may be happily married, but today, I’m aiming to turn some heads.’

Confidence: Some women surveyed said they would cancel a date if they did not have any make-up handy; others would not even dare to leave the house bare-faced. (File picture)

Not because I have any intention of straying, of course, but because, now and again, even an old bird like me needs to prove to herself that she still can.

This perhaps explains why over half of the women who took part in the beauty survey said they felt better with make-up.

In fact, 28 per cent said they lacked confidence without it. Some said they would cancel a date if they did not have any make-up handy; others would not even dare to leave the house bare-faced.

I do think the latter is a bit extreme. I never bother for the school run or if I’m just popping to the shops (with the exception of clothes shopping, when I have to make an effort, otherwise I just get depressed, give up and eat cake).
On holiday, I wear make-up only in the evenings and, even then, just a light smattering.

But I would feel naked without it on a special occasion. I once forgot my make-up bag for a black-tie event in my husband’s political constituency of Surrey Heath. It was winter and I looked like death.

Luckily, one of the ladies lent me a lipstick and I found a Sharpie (yes, a Sharpie pen) in my bag, which I deployed as eyeliner/mascara. It worked surprisingly well (though, obviously, I wouldn’t recommend using a felt-tip pen on your eyes on a regular basis).

I don’t think anyone noticed that the wife of the local MP was wearing felt-tip on her eyes. Or, if they did, they were too polite to mention it.

After such low-maintenance outings, it is little wonder I think the most glamorous look is the one with the wow factor (actually, the X  Factor: the false lashes I have on  are from Cheryl Fernandez-Versini’s new range for Eylure).

I’m also wearing lots of expertly blended, dark-grey eyeshadow and black liner on my top and bottom eyelids to make my eyes look bigger and more defined.

And there’s rather a lot of Kim Kardashian-style contouring (using a brush and bronzer), which is why my jowls look less heavy, and my cheekbones slightly sharper.

The make-up artist has enhanced the shadows beneath my chin(s) and slimmed down my face by applying a darker shade underneath my cheekbones.

In real life, the blusher is a tiny bit Aunt Sally but, in the photo, I think it makes me look quite radiant. As for the lipstick, it’s a wonderful ruby red from Hourglass called Icon, and it’s a true showstopper.

After the shoot, I went out for supper with the queen of  make-up, Joan Collins, and her husband, Percy. Joan was fresh off a plane from St Tropez, resplendent in top-to-toe coral silk.

‘Darling, you look fabulous,’ she said, as she dipped her cocktail sausage in mustard (Joan loves to eat). ‘Is it mine?’ (Joan has just launched her own range).

‘Er, sorry, no,’ I replied. She rolled her eyes in mock horror. ‘Never mind, dear,’ she said. ‘You still look great.’ That, I think we can all agree, is quite an endorsement.

As for my husband? Well, by the time I got home, he was tucked  up asleep in bed. But when the  next morning, still in my pyjamas, somewhat panda-eyed and with my hair standing on end, I showed him the pictures, he smiled.

‘It’s a bit much for me,’ he said.  ‘I think I prefer you just the way you are.’ Tsk. Typical politician: they lie about everything.

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