Andy Cohen dishes on Tinder hookups, partying with Beyonce and Kim and Khloe Kardashian

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Andy Cohen has written a gossip-filled diary about his life in Manhattan and behind the scenes of his popular television shows
He says he hasn't had a relationship for ten years, but he fell madly in love with Wacha, a beagle mix he rescued from a kill shelter in West Virginia
His besties include Kelly Ripa, Diane von Furstenberg and Anderson Cooper
He dishes on the Housewives and the generous amount of dye, Botox and fillers they use
They have been secretly talking to Lisa Rinna about joining RHOB
When he asked Khloe Kardashian if her butt was always so big she told him it was butt-lifting Spanx
Kim let him take a selfie with her derriere

Published: 15:05 EST, 10 November 2014 | Updated: 18:37 EST, 10 November 2014

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Executive producer of The Real Housewives franchise and Bravo late-night talk show host Andy Cohen blasted into New York in 1989 from Boston University as a 21-year-old intern at CBS News.

He fell madly in love with the city as well as well as all things pop, including the Andy Warhol diaries filled with gossip galore about the artist’s doings night and day.

Now Cohen, 46, has written his own one-year gossip-filled diary about his life in Manhattan and behind the scenes of his popular television shows in The Andy Cohen Diaries, published by Henry Holt and Company tomorrow.

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Puppy love: : Andy Cohen says fell madly in love with a beagle mix dog he rescued from a kill shelter in West Virginia. He named the dog, Wacha

Not butts about it: Andy's selfie with Kim's derriere was very exciting

Secret project: Andy adored Joan Rivers and they were talking about a concept for a show called What’s Your Problem. Joan was going to solve peoples’ social problems, ‘like Judge Judy laying down verdicts on Real Housewives-type fights’

Before Joan Rivers died, Andy, who hosts late night show Watch What Happens Live, was working with her on a concept for a show called What’s Your Problem. She was going to solve peoples’ social problems, ‘like Judge Judy laying down verdicts on Real Housewives-type fights’.

When Andy pitched Joan on doing a Fashion Police thing on the RHONY, she responded, ‘I’ll just say they all look like whores’.

Joan wasn’t going to move forward with What’s Your Problem without a role for Melissa. ‘(Is Melissa Rivers now an Executive Producer on my show?)’ Andy quips.

He adored Joan Rivers. Her death reminded him life changes in the blink of an eye.

He hangs a lot with Sarah Jessica Parker, Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos, along with a lot of other first names like Madonna, Anderson, Lady Gaga and at the Jerry and Jessica Seinfelds, where the food is always to die for and he eats like a pig.

He vacationed in Capri with Barry Diller and Diane von Furstenberg.

He was Sarah Jessica Parker's date to the Metropolitan Museum gala this year, and says the dinner was 'pop culture theater — Kanye and Beyoncé wandering by, Taylor Swift looking for Lena Dunham. Naomi (Campbell) came over to me three times in the course of the entire evening screaming, “Keep Porsha (Williams from ‘The Real Housewives of Atlanta’). DO NOT FIRE HER! I CAN’T STAND KENYA (Moore)!”

Cohen obsesses about his weight but loves to indulge himself with anything besides gourmet food that includes candy and ice cream, He’s ‘tanorexic’ and needs time in the sun.

Andy Cohen discusses joining Tinder with Jimmy Fallon

Keeping it real: Andy parties with Monica Lewinsky and RHOA star NeNe Leakes at his book party

Besties: Andy and Diane von Furstenberg are close and he vacationed in Capri with her and Barry Diller

He’s on the hunt for his next lover. He fantasizes about firemen, baseball players, men he sees in airports, anywhere.

He writes that his last serious relationship was with Broadway alum John Hill, a decade ago and he’s been on the hunt ever since for his next love.

‘I’m lonely and I need something to care about, take care of and think about other than myself or my job’.

‘Basically, if I have to think about only myself for another minute, I am going to rip my skin off’.

The interesting thing is my sex drive has been nowhere. It’s like I’m satisfying myself with the dog.

‘In the meantime I will cruise guys at my gay temple whilst repenting’.

Cohen even joined Tinder in the hopes of finding his true love.

'I got caught up in the tech buzz and randomly joined,' he writes about the hookup site that allows users to pick random sex partners simply by looking at their picture.

'I said ‘yes’ to a few. . . Tinder is my ticket to meeting people I wouldn’t normally come across, like an architect who lives in Murray Hill, or a scientist from Williamsburg. Welcome to my rich fantasy land.'

In the absence of a boyfriend, he fell madly in love with a beagle mix dog he rescued from a kill shelter in West Virginia. He named the dog, Wacha, after the St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Michael Wacha – his hometown baseball team.

‘The interesting thing is my sex drive has been nowhere. It’s like I’m satisfying myself with the dog. I’m not f****** the dog, of course, but I think I’m being fulfilled in other ways’, Cohen writes.

“I’m in love with my dog. It turns out that I have a better chance of having a long-term relationship with him than with a person, because everything I say goes’.

On the Housewives, he confesses he feels codependent in Housewife-heavy public situations and likes spending quality time with the women. He writes they use a generous amount of dye, Botox and fillers in what feels like an alternate universe at times.

Cheeky: Andy asked Khloe Kardashian if her a** had always been like that. She said she was wearing special Spanx that lift her butt

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion was brutal.

Two of the Housewives refused to sit next to Carlton Gebbia because ‘they believed that she had put spells on them, or she would put a spell on them’.

Andy had the hunch that this was the first and last reunion for Joyce Girard and Carlton Gebbia and Carlton knew it because she was depicted as a ‘sex starved Wiccan’. (The last five episodes have not aired yet, he writes.)

‘In retrospect we could’ve fleshed out more aspects of her life.

They have been secretly talking to Lisa Rinna about joining Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

One of the issues with the Housewives is that ‘in every city, some of the women are simultaneously living their real lives and playing to the audience’s perception of them, and that always winds up biting them in the ass’. It’s worse in the Beverly Hills franchise because it’s an industry town.

Cohen comments that The Real Housewives of Miami are not afraid of jumpsuits or camel toe, exposing too much of the female’s private parts in tight clothing.

In April, he and his Bravo team tried to figure out which Atlanta Housewives to bring back and what to pay them.

“I am so far not thrilled with the new casting, so we rejected the latest bunch are going to dig deeper’, Andy writes.

The deal with Bethenny Frankel to come back to Real Housewives of New York was signed.

The Housewives all relate to themselves as businesswomen.

Suzanne Somers was on WWHL, declared she was a businesswoman and Andy wonders if she should be a Housewife.

Despite leading an exciting life coast to coast, he and CNN host Anderson Cooper text each other that ‘we are bored out of our minds’.

Party time: (from left) Ellen Barkin, Andy Cohen, Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos celebrate Andy Cohen's previous memoir 'Most Talkative' at SiriusXM Studio in New York in May 2012

Cohen, Anderson Cooper and TV weatherman Sam Champion all ended up in a bar in Rio in December 2013.

‘The men are more beautiful in Rio than anywhere else. It’s like living in a candy store. They are all available too, even the straight ones.'

At a cocktail party, he talked with Ronan Farrow. ‘I don’t see how he’s not Sinatra’s son; he’s the spitting image’.

But then someone pointed out that Mia Farrow once looked just like Sinatra so maybe Ronan just looks like Mia.

I don't see how he's not Sinatra's son, he's the spitting image.

‘In any case, he looks nothing like Woody Allen, so that’s something’.

WWHL provides a wealth of gossip in the book:

Rachel Ray brought panini for the entire WWHL staff carried by her acolytes. ‘She seemed pretty drunk on red wine – she’s the real version of Martha’.

Nick Carter, the former member of the pop group Backstreet Boys is still drinking while writing a book about his struggles with alcohol and drugs.

Actor David Arquette, who got his first big break in the Scream series and was married to Courteney Cox for fourteen year, now owns a bar and told Andy, ‘I’m not sober anymore’.

Jenny McCarthy explained to him to picture women masturbating by rubbing a stain out of a garment.

Lady Gaga told him not to ask her about Madonna or Perez Hilton. She confessed to him that she couldn’t get out of her dressing room and to the bathroom because of the people in the hall so she peed in the garbage can. Andy viewed her urine as the ultimate pop culture artifact and it was put into a perfume bottle.

He later did a video shoot with her and said she is ‘really f******' fun’!

Andy went to JLo's birthday party held in Sag Harbor in June which 'turned out to be a lot of fun'.

When he saw Khloe Kardashian on the way out, he sensed a 'cold front coming from her'.

'Her ass-- I don't even know how to describe it. It was so bulbous and extended and shelf-like and badonkadonkulous. I asked her if her ass had always been like that or if I was looking at something different or what.

'She said she was wearing special Spanx that lift it. JLo said Spanx usually flatten your ass so these must be a new kind'.

'I got home and realized I have been s***-talking Kanye a lot on the show and maybe Kim a little too so I deserved some KardashiShade'.

Taping Kim Kardashian in August, there were no restrictions on the interview. He had already killed questions about Kris Humphries and Ray J out of respect and now regretted it.

'I took a selfie with her a**. So that was exciting'.

The Andy Cohen Diaries: A Deep Look at a Shallow Year by Andy Cohen and published by Henry Hold and Co. will be available on Amazon tomorrow