From Love-shy.com wiki: A wiki for the dating-challenged

Jump to: navigation, search

A person who is voluntarily celibate, or volcel, abstains from sexual relationships for voluntary reasons. Voluntary celibates typically see the downside of sexual relationships as not worth the payoff, at least for them personally.

A volcel differs from an incel by virtue of their celibacy being voluntary. If accosted by a woman who is interested in them, volcels will tend to reject the woman. In some cases, volcels become so due to giving up and deciding that relationships are not for them, due to the fact that relationships are too difficult to obtain and/or the cost would be too great at this point in their lives. See resignation.

Claims of voluntary celibacy on the love-shy.com forum have been disputed, as their supposed status begs the question of why they are on the forum to begin with. In some cases, they may simply be highly love-shy, and due to sensory sensitivity feel easily overwhelmed by romantic interactions, thus declining them. In other cases, they may just be embittered by the game of the socio-sexual realm.


Practical reasons for being voluntarily celibate do exist. They include:

Whether or not these arguments constitute sufficient reason to completely avoid relationships is a matter of debate.


Most love-shys and incels dismiss voluntary celibacy as a solution for themselves. This is due to the fact that they have an intense feeling of need, and do not believe they could be celibate and happy. Indeed, for most, sexuality is not a simple "switch" that can be turned off, nor is emotional longing. Love-shys and incels note that the vast majority of people are not voluntarily celibate, so such an extreme solution is unlikely to work for them.

Others denounce the arguments of volcels as misleading to most love-shys and incels. They claim such solutions are tantamount to resignation and encourage otherwise reasonably capable individuals to remain in a dormant, ultimately miserable incel state.

See also

Personal tools