High Tech
- BigBoss: Do you have Executive's business card?
- NewBigBoss_Asst: *scramble scramble through huge stack of cards Big Boss gave her*
- Frau_D: Why do you need his card?
- BigBoss: So that she knows his number. I want to call him.
- Frau_D: We use the computer for that these days.
Bob Loblaw
- CE: Okay. I'm going to practice the phones with you.
- NewGirlReceptionist (O.S): Company?
- CE: (into phone) Hi, it's Blabla McBlabla for Big Boss.
- NewGirlReceptionist (O.S): Uh.... could you.... repeat that?
- CE: It's CE.
- NewGirlReceptionist: OH!
- BigBoss: RUNNER! Time to go home.
- Runner: It's too early.
- BigBoss: What time do you want to go home?
- Runner: Later.
- BigBoss: (In my office) Bla bla bla. C'mon doggie, let's go find Runner and tell him to go home...
- BigBoss: ... Runner left! He just drove past me in my car!
So sue me.
- BigBoss: How come no one's ever sued Scott Rudin?
- Frau_D: Because if you are an assistant, and you sue your boss, no one will ever hire you again.
- BigBoss: That's true.
- Frau_D: That's why you've never been sued.
- BigBoss: That's not true. I treat everyone with love. OK I'm gonna go now, so you guys can get back to masturbating.
EVP simultaneously insults Frau D and Short Skirt while showing Potential Investor that he has no idea what he's talking about
- EVP: You know, Short Skirt, Big Boss has been sending me all these emails telling me you are on fire, you are just killing it.
- Short Skirt: That's great!
- EVP: Yea, it's such an improvement from the beginning. That was rough.
- Short Skirt: Rough? Why was it rough?
- EVP: Oh, you know, your demeanor.
- Short Skirt: My demeanor? What was wrong with demeanor?
- EVP: I mean, you weren't even trained. Like at all. You were just put on the desk. Most people have like months of shadowing and training. (Frau D was hiding in her office fuming here.)
- Potential Investor: Had you been an assistant before?
- Short Skirt: Yes.
- EVP: But not to Big Boss. He has his own set of idiosyncrasies.
To Hurricane *EDIT* TO TORNADO
*Edit* My bad guys! It isn’t ‘to hurricane’, it is ‘to tornado’
(V)
The EVP and Art Director’s signature sex move, where they hold out their index and middle finger and make a swift, swirling motion, as with a hurricane tornado.
Eg. Bro, I was hurricaning tordadoing this nugget at the club last night, …
Nugget
(N)
A hot chick. Possibly derived from a hot chicken nugget? Also known as a roper.
Napoleon Complex
- Big Boss: *Some kind of inappropriate comment*
- Short Skirt: Gross, Big Boss.
- Big Boss: What are you, Napoleon Bonaparte?
- Short Skirt: Why?
- Big Boss: Because of the way you said 'gross'.
- FrauD: That's Napoleon Dynamite.
TMI
- BigBoss: Do you know what a pink taco is?
- FrauD: A vagina?
- BigBoss: YES! Short skirt just told me. I never knew.
- FrauD: How did you not know that?
- BigBoss: No one told me.
- FrauD: It's because your wife is black.
- BigBoss: It's still pink.
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