EXCLUSIVE: 'I'm your son Etan. I've come home.' How on the eve of the trial of their son's alleged murderer, the Patzes faced yet another agony, 35 years after he vanished

• Stranger appeared at Patz family's door in Manhattan ahead of murder trial of Pedro Hernandez, who is accused of kidnapping and killing Etan, six
• He arrived shortly after Hernandez confessed to the murder, a confession his lawyers now say was false 
• He was not their son - but family are resigned to bizarre occurrences, because 35-year-old case has grip on the American psyche  
• Mother and father have faced claims of splitting up because of the strain but are still married despite arriving separately at court
• Their daughter, Etan's sister, is in a wheelchair but guards her privacy so carefully it is still not known why 
• Etan vanished after his mom sent him off from SoHo, Manhattan, home to the school bus by himself for the first time  
• Case became 'Everychild' says author of book on mystery who says: 'There's something that triggers something in people who are unstable'
• Parents do not believe current court case will solve the mystery  

By Laura Collins For Dailymail.com

Published: 09:49 EST, 9 February 2015 | Updated: 03:04 EST, 10 February 2015

Just after a man confessed to their son's murder, another man showed up at the door of Stan and Julie Patz's loft apartment in Soho, New York.

'I'm your son,' he said, his luggage by his side. 'I'm Etan. I've come home.'

It was not Etan, and he had not come home. 

In fact, in the years since their son disappeared the Patzes have lost count of the strangers who have turned up on their door claiming to be their long lost child. They lost hope it would be him long before.

Now the man accused of kidnapping and murdering him is on trial – but even that seems to offer no guarantee of an end to the family's ordeal.

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Present: Stanley Patz, Etan's father, has been at court every day of the trial of the man accused of murdering his son. He has yet to give evidence. 

Speculation: Even during the trial, the Patzes have been subject to speculation that they have split. But the author who has followed the case for 20 years says they have not, and have been bound together by ordeal

Privacy: After enduring bullying as a child, Shira Patz has maintained absolute privacy, to the extent that it is not known why she arrived at court in a wheelchair

Gripped: Etan Patz's disappearance has exercised a hold over the public imagination, in part because of his picture, and in part because his was one of the first cases to feature on milk cartons

Last Friday, the Patzes sat in court for a murder trial. Thirty five years after the six-year-old disappeared, New Jersey factory worker Pedro Hernandez stands accused of abducting, strangling and disposing of the child.

It is the latest twist in one of America's most enduring and compelling mysteries. But while prosecutors may be convinced that they are on the cusp of finally securing justice for Etan, the family at the heart of the case are less optimistic.

Tellingly, Daily Mail Online has learned, they viewed news of Hernandez confession, made in May 2012 on the eve of the 33rd anniversary of Etan's disappearance, as little cause for excitement.

Because for the Patzes the years have been punctuated with too many false hopes for them to buy wholeheartedly into the idea that this might actually by the final chapter in the saga that has haunted America.

Journalist Lisa Cohen has spent more than 20 years investigating the case. She is the author of a book on the subject, 'After Etan: The Missing Child Case That Held America Captive,' remains close to the family and has spoken with them since Hernandez's confession and the start of his trial.

Speaking to Daily Mail Online she said: 'There has never been an ending to this story and this is probably not the final chapter. Stan certainly has lived with every zig here and zag there in the investigation. He's guarded and waiting to hear everything it's possible to hear before believing that this is it.'

After all, for the past 15 years the Patzes, and many federal investigators, had been convinced that the man responsible for their son's death was already behind bars.

In 1990 a six year long federal investigation concluded that paedophile Jose Ramos was the prime suspect in Etan's disappearance. The criminal, currently in jail in Pennsylvania for other crimes against children, was dating Sandy Harmon – a woman who occasionally looked after Etan and a friend of his – at the time.

Ramos was a proficient and practiced predator who came under suspicion when he was arrested trying to lure children into a pipe drain near where Etan went missing. He confessed to trying to have sex with the boy but never to having abducted or murdering him.

In 2001 Mr Patz went as far as bringing a civil case against Ramos – an act that necessitated having Etan declared officially dead – and won.

Ordeal: Julie Patz, now 72, described in court how her son had vanished, and how she had come face to face with Pedro Hernandez. She cannot bear to be in court for the trial.

Enduring image: Police issued this missing poster in 2012, featuring a color photo and one of the original images used in the search for Etan

Today the family face the confusing reality that while one man has been found legally responsible for their son's death another has confessed and is standing trial for the crime.

Hernandez was 18, living in Soho and working in his brother-in-law's bodega less than a hundred feet south of the school bus stop. Etan had a dollar to spend that morning and was going to buy a soda at the store. According to his confession Hernandez lured Etan into the basement, strangled him, and then threw his body in the trash. 

Yet who could blame the Patzes for being reserved in their acceptance of this account? Hernandez has an IQ of just 70 and only came forward amid a flurry of publicity when, two years ago, investigators following another lead entirely dug up a Soho basement on learning that it had been newly cemented by handyman Othneil Miller following Etan's disappearance.

He has been said to 'suffer delusions of guilt,' and, according to Ms Cohen: 'There's something about this case that triggers something in people that are unstable.'

It was shortly after Hernandez confessed, in May 2012, that the man turned up on the Patzes' doorstep to claim he was their son.

And Hernandez's trial began with a similar bizarre incident. Before the jury were even called in at the start of the trial a man had to be forcibly removed from the court when he shambled across the back of the room shouting that Etan had told him of Pedro Hernandez's guilt in a dream.

Ms Cohen continued: 'They're fundamentally empathetic, gracious people and so they have a sense that these people are mentally ill but at the same time it's very cruel because with every call or claim they're sort of tied to people in pain and they feel they should be able to help in some way.'

Etan Patz's parents arrive as murder trial of son gets underway

Privacy: Both Etan's brother Ari and sister Shira have maintained their privacy after childhoods overshadowed by the six-year-old's disappearance, which caused them to be bullied and insecure

On only the third day of the Hernandez trial the defense called for a mistrial when Juan Santana – Hernandez's brother-in-law – recanted his earlier statement given to investigators in which he claimed that the day of Etan's disappearance was also the last day Hernandez worked in the bodega.

Santana was 'vague, brusque and abrasive' and, according to the defence, a 'hostile witness.' Their request for a mistrial was denied. But the drama has done little to inspire confidence that this is the trial that will finally bring the answers so desperately sought.

Ms Cohen said, 'I don't think there's any part of them that thinks there's a chance Etan could walk in the door again. That's been gone for a very long time but they still get challenged on it. There's the woman who says: "I'm getting divorced from this man and I think he's Etan and he doesn't have any pictures of himself before he's six and I've got his hair on a brush and want you to get yourself DNA tested."

'There's the guy who turns up on their door and says: "I'm your son."

It is 35 years since six-year-old Etan Patz disappeared. His mother last saw him on 25 May 1979, the morning she let him walk the few blocks from the family home to the school bus stop on his own for the first time. She watched as he walked one block before dragging her gaze away from her middle child and turning her thoughts back to his two siblings upstairs.

Suspects: Jose Ramos (left) was not only a suspect - 15 years ago he was successfully sued by Etan's father for wrongful death. He remains in prison, while Pedro Hernandez (right) is now on trial for Etan's murder

Denial: Pedro Hernandez, who is charged with the abduction and murder of Etan Patz, initially confessed to the crime but his lawyers say he is not guilty, and is prone to hallucinations as well as having a low IQ

In the years that have elapsed the Patzes have been plagued by crank calls, false sightings and assertions like that of the stranger on their door just weeks ago. They have been ostracized by peers, scrutinized by strangers, blamed, pitied and vilified by turn. Their two surviving children, Ari, now 38, and Shira, now 44, have endured the same mixed fortunes – their lives forever tainted by Etan's disappearance.

Now an adjunct professor at Columbia University's Graduate School of Journalism, Lisa Cohen explained the tortuous hold this, more than any case, has had on both Etan's family and the public conscience. 'They never found a body. They never knew what happened. So it was this enduring mystery that coincided with this thought that it could happen to my child. Etan became Everychild.'

In the early stages of the investigation, Ms Cohen related in her book, Stan Patz was a natural focus for suspicion. A photographer by trade, his pictures of his son were what lent the family's campaign to find the missing child such punch.

The impact of the father's photographs of his six-year-old son with his blue eyes and blonde, tousled hair at a time long before cellphones, social media and selfies, cannot be underestimated in propelling Etan's case to national attention. He became one of the first children whose pictures appeared on the side of milk cartons across America.

But Mr Patz was also forced to endure questions as to the propriety of pictures of his son, naked from the waist up. Appalled by the implication that these innocent pictures were somehow seedy Mr Patz agreed to a polygraph which 'showed signs of deception'.

Current scene: Since Etan Patz's disappearance, SoHo has become gentrified but the Patzes continue to make it their home 

As it was: A picture from the evidence file at the case shows the scene of Etan's disappearance in 1979 

Bodega: Hernandez was 18, living in Soho and working in his brother-in-law's bodega less than a hundred feet south of the school bus stop when Etan Patz disappeared. He denies kidnap and murder

Basement: According to his confession Hernandez lured Etan into the basement, strangled him, and then threw his body in the trash. His defense say the confession the fantasy of a mentally-ill man with low IQ

According to Ms Cohen, Mr Patz later told her: 'Don't call them lie detector tests. They measure three things – perspiration, respiration and pulse. Not the truth.'

And though the truth of what happened to Etan remains unclear and unproven, the impact it has had on his family down through the years is all too visible.

Etan's older sister, Shira, was 8 when he was taken. The youngest child, Ari, was just two. While their parents were caught up in the campaign to find their middle child his siblings struggled with the trauma.

Ms Cohen noted in her book, 'Both Ari and Shira had been left to struggle with their fears, nightmares, and confusion at a time when their parents were least able to help them. Their brother was suddenly gone, their parents were like strangers and a rotating cast of caregivers couldn't answer their questions.

'Assurances felt hollow, because they were. As uncomfortable as their own parents were about saying the wrong thing, Shira's friends either shunned her or, too young to feel the discomfort, said the wrong thing.'

According to Ms Cohen Shira's friends 'blurted out' casually cruel statements like, 'Your brother's not coming back,' and 'He's probably dead.' Or they envied her for the attention that Etan's disappearance brought her.

Lasting trauma: Chelsea Altman, Etan's best friend at the time, testified that she had saved him a seat on the bus, but he didn't get on.

When Ari reached the age of six, the age at which he knew his older brother had gone missing, he was tormented by a horror of what he regarded as a 'dangerous age.'

Today Shira, shuns public attention entirely and is so protective of her privacy that the reason she is now wheelchair-bound remains unknown. 

Her brother Ari now lives in Hawaii far away from the Soho block where his parents still live.

Julie and Stan have had to contend with rumors of splits, separation and even the complete collapse of their marriage – none of which, Ms Cohen insisted, have any basis in fact.

Images that showed the couple arriving separately at court last week revived speculation of a marital rift that, Ms Cohen said, has never taken place. In fact, she said: 'There has never been a time when they were living apart. They're a normal family in that sense. They fight, they bicker, and they laugh together.

'Of course it's something you have to ask but the answer I've always gotten was that no-one else could ever understand this experience unless they've been through the exact same experience. So it sort of bound them together.'

At the beginning of the investigation cops asked Mr and Mrs Patz to keep a log of every single telephone call, tip and claim received. They've done so ever since. Across the 35 years that notebooks that began as an assiduous and detailed log have morphed into something more akin to a family message book but who called, when and a brief description of the purpose is logged just the same.

Etan's disappearance is, Ms Cohen said, 'enmeshed in their lives almost to the point where they're not conscious of the part that it plays'.

And the sad truth is that, though there may yet be justice for Etan there will never, she said, be 'closure' for the Patzes. She explained: 'They've had a whole life since it happened. They've had work and family and relatives and so many people have given their all, more than their all, to get to the bottom of this. But they're people whose hearts have been broken.

'They might hope for justice – that's what Stan has always said, that's the foundation of our society. But there can never be closure; you just can't use that word here. And I wouldn't be surprised, and I don't think they would be surprised, if this trial isn't the final chapter.'

* After Etan: The Missing Child Case that Held America Captive, by Lisa R Cohen is on sale at Amazon

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