Home Top

Child star of Everybody Loves Raymond commits suicide at 19: Actor who played Ray Romano's twin son shoots himself dead
Was Baltimore suspect killed by deadly paddy wagon 'nickel ride'? Freddie Gray was NOT wearing a seatbelt and may have been tossed to death in abusive practice that's killed before
Apple smartwatch on sale from today... but not in stores: Customers will have to wait until June to get delivery after ordering online
Mystery of the passing out passengers remains unsolved: Investigation finds NOTHING wrong with plane which was forced to dive 30,000ft as people on board lost consciousness
The IKEA relationship curse! Experts warn trips to the store can spell doom for couples and say loved-up patrons must avoid hard-to-build item known as the 'Divorcemaker'
Woman who shot her lawyer boyfriend dead as he tried to split up with her before his date with beauty queen is guilty of murder
Our climate models are WRONG: Global warming has slowed - and recent changes are down to 'natural variability', says study
Why Lenin's corpse looks better with age: Scientists reveal experimental embalming methods used on the Soviet leader
Back to work! Disgraced ESPN sports reporter Britt McHenry returns to the sideline this weekend just a week after furore over vicious verbal attack on tow clerk
Judge who stunned the nation by saying a 14-year-old was partly responsible for her own RAPE receives a lifetime achievement award
Two extra bodies on drone cam were first sign that strike had gone terribly wrong: CIA officials tell of shocking realization that they might have killed innocent hostages
Wife of American in drone strike condemns the White House for treating her husband as an 'annoyance'
American jihadist killed in drone strike was former Little Leaguer who grew up to become Osama Bin Laden's spokesman
A hug from the executioner... then two gay men are stoned to death: ISIS murderers stage show of kindness for the cameras before brutal killing
'ISIS militant' from San Diego who was caught out by his AK-47 Facebook photos is charged with lying to the FBI
'We came to this country looking for peace': Families of Minnesota ISIS suspects accuse FBI of setting them up
Dzohokar Tsarnev's family - but not his mother - arrive in the US ahead of his defense testimony
Trial hears how Boston victim Martin Richard, 8, suffered 'visceral pain' before he died as jury decides if Dzohkar Tsarnaev should be executed
Male student sues Columbia over backlash he suffered after classmate carried a mattress around campus and accused him of raping her
EXCLUSIVE: Bill Cosby confidential: Disgraced comic files papers to prevent release of his sealed deposition in 2005 sexual assault lawsuit settled out of court
Three new women accuse Bill Cosby of sexual assault: Alleged victims say they were drugged by star in claims that bring total number of accusations to 38
WNBA star Brittney Griner, 6'8", arrested after argument with her 6'3" fiancee turned physical and relatives were unable to break them up
Dr. Oz comes out fighting! 'America's physician' says he's being hounded for speaking out against GM foods
'I was a survivor and I LOVED my life': Young mother, 44, writes heartbreaking obituary for herself before she passes away after long battle with cancer

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tina Fey and Patricia Arquette poke fun at ageism in Hollywood for hilarious new skit with Amy Schumer

Published: 21:10 EST, 22 April 2015 | Updated: 03:12 EST, 23 April 2015

View
comments

Julia Louis-Dreyfus has poked fun at ageism in Hollywood in a hilarious new sketch.

The 54-year-old is celebrating her 'Last F**kable Day' as an actress who is young and attractive enough to have sex with.

As part of a skit for Comedy Central's Inside Amy Schumer, the comedienne stumbles across the Veep star having a forest picnic with fellow 'now-unf**kable actresses' Patricia Arquette and Tina Fey, who explain the meaning behind the special day.

Congrats: Julia Louis-Dreyfus celebrated her Last F**kable Day with Patricia Arquette and Tina Fey in a hilarious Comedy Central sketch for Inside Amy Schumer

'In every actresses life the media decides when you finally reach the point when you are not believably f**kable any more,' Louis-Dreyfus patiently tells her.

'Nobody really overtly tells you, but there are signs,' 44-year-old Fey chimes in. 'You know how Sally Field was Tom Hanks's love interest in Punchline and then like 20 minutes later she was his mom in Forrest Gump?'

'Or you might get offered a RomCom with Jack Nicholson where you're competing with another woman to f**k him,' 47-year-old Arquette adds.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus' Last F***able day Amy Schumer sketch

Sexism lols: In the clip which takes a stab at Hollywood's sexist double standards, Schumer stumbles across the three women having a celebratory picnic in a forest

The Oscar-winner then tells her friends she recently auditioned for the role or Mrs Claus and they excitedly reveal they did too, before Fey informs them the part ultimately went to Jennifer Lopez.

Other signs an actress is approaching unf**kable age is when their movie posters are just pictures of kitchens, when their wardrobe consists solely of long sweaters, or when their film titles all 'uplifting but vague' titles such as 'Whatever It Takes' or 'She Means Well'.

'Another common sign is when they start remaking your movies with younger, more f**kable actresses. I guess they're remaking Boyhood with Selena Gomez in my part,' Arquette continues, before Fey muses 'That's going to make a lot of money.'

The lowdown: The actresses explain that a woman's LFD is the day she is no-longer considered attractive or young enough for a man to believably have sex with her on screen

J-Lo blow: The upbeat ladies discuss how they all recently auditioned for the very post-LFD role of Santa Claus's wife... but J-Lo ultimately landed the part

A disenchanted Schumer can't get her head around it, or the fact that the women are so upbeat about it.

'Believe me, no-one was more surprised than me that they let me stay f**kable throughout my 40s, AND the fact that it continued into my fifties, was just like 'thanks, but...I thought that US Weekly made some sort of a clerical error or something,' the Seinfeld star tells her.

Fey even tells her that if a woman is shooting a sex scene on the day before her birthday the directer will rush to get it finished before midnight out of fear her vagina will turn into a hermit crab.

Catfight: Schumer is informed that if you try delay your LFD you'll end up looking like one of the Real Housewives, in other words 'a purse that melted in a car accident'

Letting go: The actresses reveal they don't mind reaching LFD age, as they are allowed to 'grow their pubes out' and chug melted ice cream

When Schumer asks if one's LFD can be delayed, they advise against it, pointing to the damage it has done in Beverly Hills, Atlanta, New York, New Jersey, Orange County and Melbourne.

'You can try, but it only makes it worse, Louis-Dreyfus explains. 'Like those Real Housewives. They try to look young but they end up looking like a purse that melted in a car accident.'

'They look like when a kid draws a face on its hand,' Fey adds.

The actresses than crack up when Schumer asks if the same thing happens to men

Fire in the hole: The Veep star also demonstrated some other post LFD activities one can enjoy, such as belching and farting

Viking burial: Upon reaching ones Last F**kable Day, the actress is placed in a rowing boat to be 'sent home', while a flaming arrow is ignited

'Honey! Men don't have that day!' Arquette informs her. 'I didn't get this commercial for AARP last week because the director said I was too old to play Larry King's wife.'

But they console Schumer and inform her she needn't be sad - reaching one's LFD is actually a 'Godsend' because they no longer have to worry about maintaining their appearances, they can 'grow their pubes out', can chug melted ice cream, belch and fart - which JLD demonstrates with aplomb.

Finally it is time for Julia's Viking burial-esqe ceremony, when her friends place her in a rowing boat, and prepare to push her out in to a lake to 'send her home', and take aim with a flaming arrow... but the arrow is just to light her cigar, and she really is rowing back to her house to take clothes out of the dryer.

The end: But the Seinfeld star reveals she is really rowing to her house to take clothes out of the dryer, while the flaming arrow was just for lighting her cigar