Sophie B. Hawkins talks being 'depressed and befuddled' after getting pregnant again at the age of 50

By Paul Chavez for MailOnline

Published: 19:59 EST, 22 April 2015 | Updated: 02:33 EST, 23 April 2015

Sophie B. Hawkins was philosophical while admitting to self-doubt about getting pregnant again at age 50 in a new pregnancy blog posting.

The singer has a six-year-old son Dashiell and is expecting a baby girl after being implanted with her own frozen embryo.

The singer in her latest pregnancy blog posting for People magazine on Wednesday wrote that during her first trimester 'there were moments when I thought I made a mistake, when the positive notions about having a second child couldn’t overpower the nausea and dread that I was ruining my son’s life and my own.'

Pregnancy blog: Sophie B. Hawkins, shown in November 2013 in New York City, wrote about her self-doubt about getting pregnant again at age 50 in a new pregnancy blog posting on Wednesday

Pregnancy blog: Sophie B. Hawkins, shown in November 2013 in New York City, wrote about her self-doubt about getting pregnant again at age 50 in a new pregnancy blog posting on Wednesday

'I woke up depressed and befuddled by my bizarre life planning,' she added.

The I Wish I Was Your Lover signer recounted the warnings and cautions she received about pursuing another pregnancy, but also recalled an incident a year ago while coming up the stairs of her apartment building.

She saw a fragile old man and wrote that she cried after she entered her apartment 'because I wouldn’t be alive to take care of Dashiell when he’s old.'

Mother and son: The singer and her five-year-old son Dashiell are shown in an undated photo

Mother and son: The singer and her five-year-old son Dashiell are shown in an undated photo

Hawkins said she 'dragged her feet' on getting pregnant again because she wasn't ready to let go of being the mother of just Dash.

'He is the greatest love I’ve known, and in recent years, the only love I’ve truly wanted to explore,' she wrote.

The Right Beside You singer said that after a breakup with her partner of 17 years she only wanted to share her heart with Dash.

Second child: Sophie, shown in November 2012 in Los Angeles, is expecting a baby girl 

Second child: Sophie, shown in November 2012 in Los Angeles, is expecting a baby girl 

She wrote that she considered choosing a new suitor.

'But from experience, I know that most falling in love ends with a thud after two years, and then my son would have to go through another traumatic loss,' her posting said.

Hawkins drafted the blog posting while seven months pregnant and said that 'winter has been a trial for me, physically and emotionally. Pregnancy is uncomfortable and draining, and the end isn’t in sight until it becomes unbearable.'

Taking a rest: Sophie recently shared a photo of herself on her website relaxing

Taking a rest: Sophie recently shared a photo of herself on her website relaxing

She ended the posting expressing some spring optimism.

'The buds are appearing on the trees outside, yet I feel I’m going to be naked, leafless, for many months to come,' she wrote.

'My true friends, and my son, see me with kind eyes. I feel it. So that’s the freedom my children have given me. To be naked in the world with an open heart,' she concluded.

Single mother: Sophie, shown in December 2010 in Miramar, California, mentioned that she broke up with her partner of 17 years

Single mother: Sophie, shown in December 2010 in Miramar, California, mentioned that she broke up with her partner of 17 years

 

 

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