Heartbreak of wife who had to tell her husband he was dying three times a day after cancer wiped his memory

By Daily Mail Reporter
Updated: 10:35 EST, 6 May 2011


We've all been there. You wake up in the morning with a throbbing headache, and hazy memories of the night before... But for Dean Falconbridge, this was how every day began.

And as he turned to his wife, Carole, to fill him in on why he felt so bad, she had the heart-breaking task of telling him that he was dying of an inoperable brain tumour.

Carole, 33, said: 'The position of the brain tumour was affecting him in a similar way to Alzheimer's. He would wake up and say, "that must have been some night!" and I would have to tell him all over again.'

Tribute to Dean: Carole Falconbridge, pictured with her daughters, Ebony, 11, and Eleanor, eight, is running the race for life in honour of her husband and mother

Tribute to Dean: Carole Falconbridge, pictured with her daughters, Ebony, 11, and Eleanor, eight, is running the race for life in honour of her husband and mother

There's no holding back the tears as she remembers there were times she tried to mask the truth.

But after 13 years together Dean, a refractory engineer with Minteq UK, always knew when she was hiding something from him - so she had to break the news to him three times a day.

The mum-of-two said: 'That was so hard. For the first week in hospital I had to tell him three times a day, then for about four months it was once every couple of days.'

Eventually Dean came to remember the worst but by then his health had deteriorated.

To make matters even worse, while Carole was watching her husband's health was getting worse, both her mother and her grandmother were also diagnosed with cancer.

She said: 'To watch a 5ft 11ins, 14-and-a-half stone man, who had travelled the world with his work and always been so strong, become so weak and frail was heartbreaking.

'He didn't step out of the house for two months before he died - it was just too much for him.'

Carole, who lives in Hemlington, Middlesbrough, with their two daughters, Ebony, 11, and Eleanor, eight, said Dean had been diagnosed with the inoperable brain tumour on September 13, 2009.

Happier times: Carole and Dean on their wedding day, with Carole's mother Christine Ramsay who battled cancer at the same time as Dean

Happier times: Carole and Dean on their wedding day, with Carole's mother Christine Ramsay who battled cancer at the same time as Dean

She said: 'He had been suffering headaches and went to the doctors but it was originally just put down to stress.' But the pain became so intense that after several trips to casualty he finally underwent a CT scan.

'We were completely blind-sided, I knew there was something wrong but not for one minute did I think it would be a brain tumour.'

Just two months after the tumour was discovered Carole's mum, Christine Ramsay, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and within weeks Christine's own mum (Carole's grandmother), Alma Draper, was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Carole said: 'We didn't have a big family and my Nana was going through her cancer, my mum was dealing with hers and I was trying to help Dean with his.

'I didn't have time to stop and think about how rubbish it all was.'

To help cope they tried to turn their attention to happier times and on November 24, 2009, she and Dean renewed their marriage vows.

'It gave us something to focus on and the girls something to look forward to.'

Alma, of Yarm, had a mastectomy and is now on the road to recovery.

'Everybody says you couldn't imagine my life in a script for a soap opera, and they are right'

But after a nine-month battle Dean passed away at home on June 11 last year, while watching the opening match of the World Cup, aged 37. Christine lost her battle with pancreatic cancer on March 3, age 52.

Carole said: 'It has been difficult and we are still coming to terms with everything that has happened.' However, in a bittersweet twist of fate Carole was reunited with her dad, Thomas Mackie, after 30 years, just weeks after losing her mum says.

Finding her father, who is one of seven siblings, means her small family has suddenly grown.

Thomas, who now lives in Germany, flew home to be reunited with his daughter and granddaughters.

Carole said: 'Everybody says you couldn't imagine my life in a script for a soap opera, and they are right.'

Now Carole is preparing to take part in the Race for Life, with cousin Sophie Bennison, in Dean and mum Christine's memory.

She is urging others to join her.

The five kilometre women-only run will be her second fundraising challenge since her loss, having taken part in a sponsored parachute jump in March.

Carole said: 'I am more nervous about the Race for Life than I was the parachute jump.

'We signed up in February but haven't had time to do any training.

'I'm going to make a concerted effort to train now and get to a position where I know I am at least going to survive it!'

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